Falling For A Therapist - Merged Thread

[simon b]

it does get messy when she wants to hear 'i love you' and all you can muster to say, but avoid saying, is 'i like you, specially when im bored and horny'.

 

and so you hug her, not wanting to hurt her feelings being a likable guy , compensate by giving her more bfe and a bigger tip...and it gets messier

 

 

 

 

 

of course larry knows the answer and what to do in this messy situation. im assuming he wants to hear what the ladies have to say about it.

[robsalvador]

Larry, in 2 years time i will be turning 50. I have been in this boat on and off for the past 10 years. Gone through 5 girl friends all of whom are still good friends even after break-up. Yes, i am happily married with children. Yes, i am still in a relationship.

 

NO... I never learn. I guess it's not about that at all. Whether we learn or not is not the point. It's what we want, it's the choices we make, it's the direction we want to take.

 

Heck, we only live once man!

 

I just make it a point to be responsible about it. I guess we have to put limitations somehow, right?

 

But bottom line?

 

Live life to the fullest!

[Guest lustfortravel]

hey LFT, its been a while

 

well I don't find it difficult when she asks for more time, I can truthfully say I'm in full control of this arrangement. First rule is that you should have all the means of contacting her and not vice versa so its easier to cut ties gracefully. so that wedding scenario will never happen, she doesn't even know my real name (well so do you but that's not the point) I've had experience with psycho chicks so I know these things.

 

blurred lines or not, there are rules that cannot be bent, its just annoying that somehow I end up leading them on...

 

AND YES DH IT IS FUN IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT

 

Been a while, Larry and we are still in this forum because we never learn.

 

I don't think you lead them on since , as ABD pointed out earlier, paying money makes the rules loud and clear. It's just that you are too much of a nice guy and a gentleman that she probably hopes she can be more than just an MPA to you. Of course you know what to do - avoid this girl like the plague.The more you see her (even if it's a paid transaction) , the more she falls for you, the more difficult to cut ties gracefully. The question is if you have the willpower- some women, MPA or not, are just too desirable.

[revi]

Larry, in 2 years time i will be turning 50. I have been in this boat on and off for the past 10 years. Gone through 5 girl friends all of whom are still good friends even after break-up. Yes, i am happily married with children. Yes, i am still in a relationship.

 

NO... I never learn. I guess it's not about that at all. Whether we learn or not is not the point. It's what we want, it's the choices we make, it's the direction we want to take.

 

Heck, we only live once man!

 

I just make it a point to be responsible about it. I guess we have to put limitations somehow, right?

 

But bottom line?

 

Live life to the fullest!

 

"Live life to the fullest!" Perfect!

 

Wish I could say the same. But there are times when emotions get way above my head. Different relationships. Different takes on them too. I learn with each and every relationship. Well, I try to. And I try to leave something for myself so that if a person leaves, or if I leave, I don't get hurt too much. Call it selfish. Call it cheesy because it is a song (Greatest Love Of All anyone? -hahaha!) But loving yourself first is the best thing to do in a relationship. You can put anyone in a pedestal, but at the end of the day, if you don't look at yourself with the same or more importance then you'll get hurt so much. Just remember, nothing lasts forever. If he/she does not lie, cheat or steal, he/she could hurt you by dying.

 

I try to take a day at a time. Not rushing things. But in relationships (not just with a sex worker), some people (including me) would rush in. Right now, I am happy with what I have. I feel satiated. But I could never promise myself and her that I will never look at another woman again. Nor would I not taste another woman's lips. I can't coz sometimes as a human being you make mistakes. Tama ka robslavador, its the choices we make.

 

In this regard, I choose to live life to the fullest as well. And with it the decisions I do, I have to be responsible for. Haay! Buhay nga naman.. hahaha..

[robsalvador]

good answer, sir.

 

subconsciously, unintentionally, you learn something from what you did in the past. It's just a matter of making choices, to use your words......choosing whether to remember these specific lessons the next time temptation comes around, choosing whether to risk making the same mistakes or apply what you have learned instead.

 

mr. rob, just a question - does living life to the fullest mean that you have to repeat the mistakes of the past, because they are just so fun-filled and too good to let them pass you by? no offense meant. for all you know, i may be in the same situation, and i just want it answered, honestly, not smugly

 

just rob please.. surely no offense taken.

 

i guess if you stop to think about things it's always easy to rationalize. then we start to decide intelligently.

 

first feel.. then do.. deal with what happens next the best you can. that's the only time we can truly say we lived to the fullest..

 

we all have our reasons, we always make the same mistakes because that's who we are..

 

it's matters of the heart, dear..

 

the heart doesn't think.. it just does..

Edited August 25, 2010 by robsalvador

[denimhead]

thnkng bout this whole scenario .. anybody ever think that it might be the girl at fault? i mean she noes the sitch, and she still goes on and catches feelings for her john? i mean i noe she got feelings but the business shes in im pretty sure its a major major rule not to fall for the clients ...

[denimhead]

mehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

ts always the girls fault ... lol

[JayZip]

i think its nobody's fault. we let it happen in the first place and we want it to happen subconsciously.

we know it will lead to this but still we dont do nuthin.

 

its like chocolate...we know it'll make us fat but we still eat it. or something like that.

 

as for "living life to its fullest" - if you had a daughter who was caught up in a similar sitch and you knew about it would you still advise her to life "live to its fullest"?

just a passing thought...

 

i think it all boils down to what matters to us most and what our morals are. if at this point in time you're still swinging despite your "responsibilities" and you still like it then fine do what you have to do (or if your single and its "fun" for you). but if you realize that what matters most is your family or doing what is right eh I think you've come to a point where you can say that you have learned.

 

just so you know...and some might not know this but I am married...I have a wonderful wife...I have a wonderful 8 month old...but in between I had my share of "affairs"...

but something in me just lit and realized that all i ever wanted and all i ever needed is with me right now...so here i am...trying...and still asking the same question to myself..."have I learned my lesson already?" - all I can say is that so far so good...i think i'll be there in no time...i have been successful in keeping my devils in check for quite some time now...

 

well, sooner than you Larry. nyahahahahahaa!

 

anyways, i guess in your sitch it supposed to be fun. so it should be fun...stay away from emo-ness.

 

and protect yourself at all times.

[Wyld]

thnkng bout this whole scenario .. anybody ever think that it might be the girl at fault? i mean she noes the sitch, and she still goes on and catches feelings for her john? i mean i noe she got feelings but the business shes in im pretty sure its a major major rule not to fall for the clients ...

 

 

while i wouldnt say that its "the girl's fault" i would also say that as someone working in that field, the lady should be the first to know the rules.

 

the rules are simple - you provide a service, you get paid, you part ways.

 

somehow, i think, one or both parties end up romanticizing the transaction and putting more meaning into it. let's face it, having sex can delude people into thinking that feelings are involved.

 

i think it is incumbent upon the professional to remain professional during the transaction - thats part of the job description, and id say a major deliverable in this case.

[Larry]

Larry, in 2 years time i will be turning 50. I have been in this boat on and off for the past 10 years. Gone through 5 girl friends all of whom are still good friends even after break-up. Yes, i am happily married with children. Yes, i am still in a relationship.

 

NO... I never learn. I guess it's not about that at all. Whether we learn or not is not the point. It's what we want, it's the choices we make, it's the direction we want to take.

 

Heck, we only live once man!

 

I just make it a point to be responsible about it. I guess we have to put limitations somehow, right?

 

But bottom line?

 

Live life to the fullest!

 

isn't that what its supposed to be about? learning and then moving on?

 

 

the thing that really bothers me is that the I'm just looking for some strange puss to play around with every so often and then, through no fault of my own, it suddenly gets complicated. It's not supposed to be that way, and it's precisely the reason why I patronize MPs, so I'm spared of all the drama. I still have enough game in me to get laid outside the MP, but the MP environment lets me indulge safely and discreetly as the world is small and it gets smaller as I get older, better to keep it professional just so there are rules.

 

The bottom line is this type of sh1t's not supposed to happen but it still does and it bothers me because I know the rules, hell it's the rules that's kept me from being found out, but somebody comes along and ruins it.

 

FML...well no, not really

[Larry]

and at the end of the day, sometimes it's better not to start seemingly serious relationships that you know will not even last, to avoid hurting yourself and the rest.

 

but can i really say that line to polygamous men?

 

what is probably not clear is that I'm not starting a relationship, nor am I looking for one

 

half the people on this thread probably don't acknowledge that fact

 

my feelings for the girl are moot, as there are none.

 

The real issue is why do some girls don't get it, even if you laid down the rules in front of them countless times.

 

and why do they do it to me?

[Larry]

thnkng bout this whole scenario .. anybody ever think that it might be the girl at fault? i mean she noes the sitch, and she still goes on and catches feelings for her john? i mean i noe she got feelings but the business shes in im pretty sure its a major major rule not to fall for the clients ...

 

i think it is incumbent upon the professional to remain professional during the transaction - thats part of the job description, and id say a major deliverable in this case.

 

bingo!

 

srsly you'd be surprised at how many of them try to step over the line and completely forget the rules.

 

there should be an orientation at jobs like this

[Larry]

sir, that post wasnt in reference to yours, with all due respect to you being the thread starter.

 

peace.

 

on topic, just so this wont get deleted: why? there could be a thousand reasons why. some have been enumerated here. but that doesnt change anything. still happens. sh*t happens.

 

and with all due respect, my reply wasn't aimed at you directly, it's a general reply to everyone on the thread that thinks I'm falling for this chick. I may have quoted you but I'm just too lazy to quote everybody else

 

it's not always all about you honey

[Wyld]

if and when i become a pimp ill make sure my hoes noes the sitch

 

you should tell them that its a job, nothing more.

[Larry]

if and when i become a pimp ill make sure my hoes noes the sitch

 

judging by your fine selection of tittays

 

you'd make an excellent pimp

[Wyld]

 

on topic again, so your mod from hell wont delete this :

 

 

srsly, you had to go there?

 

im not the only mod in this board but ... if i may say so myself - those posts that were deleted were better sent as private messages.

 

sheath the claws.

 

[robsalvador]

and at the end of the day, sometimes it's better not to start seemingly serious relationships that you know will not even last, to avoid hurting yourself and the rest.

 

but can i really say that line to polygamous men?

 

True.. best NOT to start a polygamous relationship..

 

This will definitely help keep life less complicated, simple, sedate, silent, and ... boring? lonely? tragic? sad?

 

Leaving us with questions.. What if?.. Why didn't I?.. Should I have?.. What would have happened?.. What would it have felt like?..

 

To go back on topic: No, I never learn.. to stop being curious.. to be smart enough.. to be spontaneous enough.. to hurt and be hurt enough to stop..

 

No.. I never learn.. to stop living.. to stop feeling.. to stop LOVING..

[robsalvador]

...@sir robsalvador (i refuse to drop the sir ), i respect your views. that's another way of looking at it. There will always be two roads to take - either you take the risky or the safe one.

 

j9something posted about blaming no one. I'd rather blame both - not so much because of the need to finger-point, but simply because we were taught to be responsible for whatever actions we do, and whatever decisions we make. The guy may have been likeable without any malicious intention to do so, and the girl may have violated the rules just as well. But whether things happened the way they were not supposed to, whether it was totally unplanned or unintentional, still, someone has got to pay the price.

 

- I agree that both are responsible for their actions. Our society just doesn't recognize equality when it comes to morality. Women are on the short end of the stick, right? But for all intents and purposes, this should not be the case. The reason for anyone having have to pay the price is in the loss of love and respect to those who are owed these. I do not wish to change points of view nor to justify why i do what i do. I guess it comes down to the way we see things..

 

tell me, other than men paying for their services, what is the difference between the client-MP relationship and a FUBU relationship?

i can see similarities. Both are dangerous games to play, where emotions are better kept hidden or ignored, where everyone should play by the rules.

 

- Client-PSP relationships are supposed to be professional, superficial deals at best. FUBUs are more intimate in that there must be feelings involved for this to exist. Yes, both are dangerous games to play because both cases can lead to deeper feelings and emotions. As for the rules, perhaps each of us has a different set that we use depending on our needs.. I may have a lot to say ma'am.. but I know very little. I admit i never learn, but i try to be a good student at it..

[Seishi]

True.. best NOT to start a polygamous relationship..

 

This will definitely help keep life less complicated, simple, sedate, silent, and ... boring? lonely? tragic? sad?

 

Leaving us with questions.. What if?.. Why didn't I?.. Should I have?.. What would have happened?.. What would it have felt like?..

 

To go back on topic: No, I never learn.. to stop being curious.. to be smart enough.. to be spontaneous enough.. to hurt and be hurt enough to stop..

 

No.. I never learn.. to stop living.. to stop feeling.. to stop LOVING..

 

 

I think, these are also the same reasons why I never learn...

 

Part of living life to the fullest for me is to love and be loved, even if it will hurt me in the end. Putting parameters sometimes hurts me rather than making me feel safe. If I feel it's a burden, then I take a pause either to give space or simply to drop it.

 

But no, I never learn too

[Wyld]

srsly, you had to react? but ok. it is your right to do so.

 

i was just using his words, and the statement simply meant THIS IS ON TOPIC. Nothing personal against you, please. You know i like you, even if isolated posts of mine in other threads get deleted.

 

i may have claws but i use them in real life, never in forums.......for the basic reason that this is merely a forum and online personas are just that - you barely know them, if you do at all. Not worth it.

 

and yes, i stand by my request that this topic be merged with the existing thread of MPA's and GRO's, to be fair to others who start duplicate threads but get theirs deleted. I think that is a valid request.

 

 

 

1. as i have clarified in my PM to you - YES, this topic will be merged in a week or so. im just giving the threadstarter enough time to gather POVS. he knows that.

 

the diff between this thread and other threads that have been merged or deleted was this thread actually made for interesting discussion. so unlike other threads that were opened with inane one liners and without even checking to see if their query was already discussed in another thread.

 

moderating is not only policing the board. it is also encouraging discussion - and this thread did just that. that is why im letting it stay up for a bit before merging it.

 

2. yes, sheath your claws. there is no need for you to bitch because some of your posts were deleted. they were personal asides. use your PM function for that.

 

3. whether you like me or not is beside the point in this issue. you are probably miffed that your posts got deleted and took it out on me - the most convenient mod around. no fair and i call it as it is.

Edited August 26, 2010 by Wyld
edited to add:

[denimhead]

her: i think we work better as friends .....

me: friends dont have sex, right?

her: uhuh

me: nice knowing you, see you around ...

 

i dun thnk larry would even give her ( the MPA ) a second look if free sex wasnt in the picture .. you people are over analyzing the sitch .. OP just wanted to say "how come he still gets mixed up wit extra curricular ishts when hes in a serious rel and is engaged" its not rocket science .. this aint love notes ..

 

change the sitch like say change the MPA to a regular girl .. situation would still be the same .. OP still wont be involved with her if he aint getting any ...

 

problem is women/girls in NSA relationships tend to start catching feelings and complicate the isht out of it...

 

so uyeah its the womens fault ... for being sensitive and caring

[Wyld]

1. i havent been bitching around. i have yet to do that. but it's more fun to do just that with fellow bitches around. i so love it.

 

2. arent we supposed to use our PM functions for exchanges such as these, to follow the rules of the board, and just as you yourself have said?

 

3. of course its not fair to take it out on you, nor anyone for that matter. i dont even know you. but that is assuming i am doing that. i already explained i have nothing against you personally and i just used the guy's words. what now? he can describe you as mod from hell and its ok, but if i use it, it becomes "bitching" around?

 

4. no you are not the most convenient mod around.

 

 

 

 

1. you havent? well i will have to take your word for it; because it sure seemed like you were. oh and fyi im not bitching at you. im answering your queries in my usual blunt manner.

 

2. we can have these exchanges here because your concerns are over THIS thread and YOUR posts being deleted in this thread as well as this thread needing to be merged with another thread - i believe i have addressed your concerns.

 

3. let me clarify - i was not the one who deleted your posts. but because im active and actively posting on this thread, i was your target. im used to it by now, but i also wanted to tell you not to bitch AT ME because i had nothing to do with your posts being deleted other than being of the opinion that you and robsalvador should use your PM functions for those excanges.

 

it was bitching because you connected it with your posts being deleted and assuming that the mod from hell (me) deleted your posts. that is why i said i am not the only mod in this board.

 

4. really? okay. ill take your word for it. again.

Edited August 26, 2010 by Wyld

[Wyld]

 

-- no. im usually in my red stilletos when i bitch around and i didnt you say you were bitching. i said i love bitching when there are fellow bitches around. but if you think that im bitching at you, that's your pov. maybe then, im a natural bitch

 

 

whether or not you are a bitch, when you bitch and what you wear when you bitch isnt really my concern or my point.

 

 

-- yup. really. i dont bluff. i dont kiss ass. i just speak my mind out.

 

you have already spoken your mind out, and your points have been correspondingly addressed. are you ready to move on?

Edited August 26, 2010 by Wyld

[Wyld]

ready when you are

 

 

hun, ive learned never to stay.

[simon b]

ok, larry , since the warnings up for the thread to be merged, time to start another thought provoking, sex laden topic...