The Mail Box

[missmanners]

i've never tried so hard to understand anyone. if the ex could only see me now, even he would be surprised. that fight or flight mechanism is trying to kick in, leaning towards flying far far away. so i'm fighting extra hard to stay.

 

i think because this time, i should give sticking around a try.

 

i think because this time, you're worth sticking around for.

[Nightwatcher]

I apologize if I again disappeared....

 

I just want to be alone for a while...

 

So many things have happened that I haven't talked to you about...

 

...and it has taken its toll on me...

 

And nobody but myself can correct all the wrongs that has continually tarnished my life...

 

I need to be gone...until when...I'm not sure....

 

I know you'll understand...

[teio]

why do you keep on bugging me?

[Guest simply_miss]

you said it would end at sunset

you always speak before you're sure

you can't tell

in the darkness

neither of us can see

you can't tell

perhaps we'll never know

it's so hard to find

is it over?

you can't tell

let's just give up.

 

[KristinLavransdatr]

P:

 

today is your birthday: you're 27 years old in korea and 26 as far as my calendar is concerned. haven't seen those eyes in 2 years, the close-up smile, the very tall stance. i stopped missing you, though.

 

S:

 

great to hear your voice again. the innuendos. you left me useless here at work. thinking. anticipating.

[Guest globetrotter]

have enough rest,ok?sabi sa yo,sipon at ubo yan eh.take your medicine and drink lots of fruit juices.wag matigas ulo,

[Wyld]

 

Kung may isang bagay ako na dapat ipag pasalamat sa iyo,

Iyon ay ang walang katapusang pasensya at pag mamahal na ibinibigay mo sa akin.

Alam ko na minsan, ay, sige na nga, madalas pala...

Nakakaubos pasensya ang aking kakulitan

Pero, andyan ka pa din at nagmamahal.

Andyan ka pa din at nagpapaalala.

Salamat.

Alam mo na kung sino ka, diba?

 

[Guest globetrotter]

its one of the most romantic cards i received.and i want to thank you for spending time doing this.nice ink by the way.cant wait to receive the next one. it arrived exactly as planned.remember that im always be here for you.just right beside you.holding your hand.making sure that you're always protected and taken cared of.promise.and you know naman that i keep my promises,di ba?

[Zerreit]

You claim to care for me deeply. You claim to love me. I cared for you, too. But it seemed like eons ago. It never crossed my mind that you can hurt me like so...

 

What do you gain from injuring the ones you care for? Must desire always sweep aside good intent?

 

I'm happy now. Please leave me be. Be happy for me. Let me go.

Edited September 9, 2005 by Zerreit

[Z]

Dear B,

 

Thanks for the introduction a while back. To date there has been quite a number of pleasant surprises in spite of the exiguous non-ephemeral moments. You have an inkling of my true intentions and insouciant of them if only to savour our regular discourse. This is also gives me opportunity for another self indulgent soliloquy. All the best with your exam!

 

Warm regards,

 

E

Edited September 12, 2005 by Z

[Guest simply_miss]

on my mind

beneath my soul

through my veins

taking over me

 

screaming inside

fighting to get out

locked away safely

my feelings for him

 

he remains unaware

oblivious to me

my foolsih hopes

crushed by a word

 

a wish on a star

branded on my heart

to be forever

a forged dream

[curian]

hmmmm... i guess its been since we last talked... do you have a new boyfriend now? i do hope that you do, so someone can take care of you like only a guy can... as for me, everything's okay... i'm with a new love of my life... but damn it... i still think of you at times... maybe i just miss the laughs and the excellent conversation... oh well... next lifetime maybe...

[aleena®]

no regrets, baby, no regrets!

[KristinLavransdatr]

at 10 pm you made some subtle noise by the door. unsure you were if i'd let you in. it was raining and sure i'd need some company. i opened the door and let you in and asked if you'd want to stay the night and sleep with me.

 

you bowed your head and went straight to my bed, snuggled yourself close as i read szymborska. 10 minutes later you were asleep. i pulled out more sheets the ones mother kept for you.

 

thank goodness you don't snore.

 

and late into the night i was thinking if my man would allow a dog in our bed.

[silencio]

I called in reality to say I feel bad about what happened, but I ended up saying I felt bad about the money and understandably you were sarcastic. Nothing more to say really. Just that I'm sorry and that I wish you'd give me a chance. A real one this time. One that would not leave me hanging and hurting.

 

I learn the lessons, yet I don't truly learn them because of the hurt and the anger - selfish and immature though as they may seem to you.

 

I don't know anymore. Do you know how it feels like to not know where you stand? To not know how one truly feels about you? Do you know how bad it can be when all the truth and all the anger seem to melt in one big emotion the heart can not help but just break from the tension? Do you know how it feels to just break down everytime? No you don't. You love yourself too much. You don't know how it feels to have your pride broken. To have your heart want something yet your anger just refuses to give. I need you. I need you to smile again. To feel loved and whole and indifferent to the evils of the world. I need you to make me feel that the world is fair. I didn't need anyone until I met you. Until that gloroius day when I fell in love with you.

 

Where are you now? Angry and feeling betrayed. Uncaring and indifferent. I know why. I feel so God damned pathetic hugging this dirty ball to me I don't even know how to begin to explain to myself why I am left all alone for the first time in my life. To need someone when all my life I've lived on my own. You don't understand mayhaps because I don't understand it myself.