Edmund Dantes

I remember one time we were in this KTV along Q.Ave celebrating my friend's birthday.

 

Turned out it was actually my night. We "ordered" two girls, and the one (who looks like Mae dela Cerna of Mocha Girls minus the "retoke") decided to stay and make out with me the whole time we were there while my friend had to wait for their turns on the other one. WOW. I was fresh off a break up back then, and I felt some sort of connection between us. I even thought of going back for her the very next week. I was really infatuated.

 

Before we went home, my friend the celebrant chided me and said "Ikaw pala birthday boy pare eh!"

Ingat ingat lang pare. Like I always say, never trust something thats broken to do something properly. Like your heart.

I remember Revilla sitting in judgement. Now he sits in jail while Hayden Kho is a free man and, as far as I know, has his medical license back.

Hahaha true, such an Irony. Lol! Kung nauso lang cameraphone nung panahon ng kasikatan ng erpat nya, ilang scandal video kaya ang lumabas?

Anyway, on the issue. Alcohol and cigarettes are more harmful to your health. More people committed crime out of being intoxicated than watching porn. Yet we do not ban these things, we regulate them. Thats what we should do with pornography. If only there is a clear definition of it, clear rules and guidelines what level of nudity can be shown in media and how then it easier to regulate and control proliferation of obscene materials. Kaya nakakalusot mga bastos na tabloid kasi walang clear guidelines. They can make an excuse na art daw lahat ng yun and art is not illegal lol.

Well I dont mean to take so much away from Manny, but this is not exactly a victory that should get his fans excited. Yes it was impressive how he completely dominated and outclassed a younger and undefeated fighter, but its more of him fighting a weak opposition really. Lets take a look at Algieri, he only had 1 world championship fight. He hasn't beaten anyone of note other than Provodnikov and he won that fight via tough split decision. All in all, the guy lacks the experience to take on someone like Pacquiao. I don't even understand bakit ito pinili nila eh wala naman syang following. Mas sikat pa si Bambam Rios. Tingin ko, this was a kind of match that wont earn anything for manny.

On the other hand, siguro psychologically makakatulong sa kanya ito para bumalik yung dating aggressiveness nya na nawala nung maKO sya ni Marquez. Siguro kung masasanay sya ulit maging agresibo sa mas mahinang kalaban, baka pag mas mahusay na kalaban nya andun na ulit yung confidence nya

Isa pa, nawawala na din interest sa kanya ng tao. Kahit mga pinoy di na gaano excited tumutok sa mga laban nya tulad ng dati. 2 na laban na lang ang tingin ko gusto pa makita ng mga tao. Si Marquez o si Mayweather. Kundi rin lang ito mangyayari, mas mabuti na talaga na magretire na lang si Pacquiao. At least magre-retire sya na champion

Hindi na sya yung taong minahal ko, hindi na din ako yung taong nagmahal sa kanya. As far as I am concerned we are now strangers to each other. At most we are just fragments of memories which will fade in time if not disappear to oblivion. Like I said, there are 3 things you need to leave behind to move on with your life. The memories, the person, and most of all, the person you were.

Well sir para sakin kasi hindi naman siguro masama kung ma in love yung guest nya sa therapist nya. Agree naman ako sa sinasabi nyo na hindi naman parang pelikula na parating magiging happy ending. Para sa akin lang naman deserving din naman sila (these ladies in this industry) na mahalin at respetuhin. sa mga guys naman i wish na maging ok ang relationship nyo sa kanila (mga therapist) yun lang naman ang sa akin.

 

I respect everyone's opinion and advice.

Dude, kahit sinong nilalang may kakayahang magmahal at mahalin. GIven naman yun. Kahit nga aso pwede rin magpakita ng affection. Pero it takes an emotionally mature individual to nurture a healthy kind of love that transforms you into a better person.

Hindi naman issue dito yung respeto. Sure they are human beings and sinners like you and I are, they are also citizens who deserve the same civil rights we enjoy. Pero ibang usapan ang pagtitiwala ng pagmamahal at paguumpisa ng relasyon.

Love can either bring the best and the worst out of you.

sir ang happy ending ay hindi isang one time event na parang ending ng movie. continuous process ng reconciliation of differences ang isang relasyon. kung sa sa patibayan nga lang ang labanan, eh di hamak na mas matibay un mga kababaihan na involve sa ganun line of work. meron din nman "ILAN" na talagang kayang I hiwalay ang personal na buhay sa trabaho. hindi naman lahat mayaman para I alisin sila sa ganun situation in a snap of a finger. kahit ganun un situation ng dalawang tao nagkaka intindihan, it does not mean na hindi sila pwede mahalin at seryosohin.

 

Ubos oras? oo tama, malaking oras nga pwede ma consume ng ganito ang lifestyle, Ubos Pera? in my case hindi, hindi mo naman kailangan ng malaking pera para maki hangout or makipag socialize sa mga babae sa ganitong industry. the more na tinatapatan mo ng pera un panahon nila eh, the more na pathetic ang kinakalabasan mo, if you go down that road, ka awa awa ka kasi kailangan mo pa bilihin un oras at panahon ng tao para lang may maka usap ka.

 

what I'm trying to say is nasa interpersonal relationship skills lang ng isang tao yan. oo gumagastos ako, pero sa pagkain, magpaka gentleman naman ako alangan naman babae pa un pabayarin ko sa pag kain na pareho pareho naman namin kinain, and to think na mas financially capable ako, eh, itabi nalang nila para sa family nila un pera nila. pero un sabihin na ubusin sa loob ng cubicle un pera eh, hindi naman ako ganun ka libog na every now and then eh nagpapagawa ako. oo lalake ako, and nakakaramdam din ng init ng katawan, pero awkward lalo na pag kaibigan mo na un therapist, as in mahaba haba na din pinag daan at nalampasan nyo bilang magkaibigan or being her significant other.

 

 

 

here's my case, I have these set of friends in the corporate world, childhood/teenage friends - the one you so call legit na social life. but still I have this set of friends na nag tratabaho sa spa. kung titimbangin ko, mas may tiwala pa ako sa mga kaibigan ko sa SPA kasi alam ko sarili ko, and proven and tested na din over time na ang salitang "Walang Iwanan" not unlike dun sa mga friends ko sa Corporate World / Childhood-Teenage Years na mas madalas hindi mahagilap. but these women that I have befriend and earned there trust, mas nakakasama ko pa sa labas ng trabaho nila.

 

Again, hindi ako nag hahanap ng away or anything, I would just like to point out that these women you brand as something else, deserves to be treated with equal love and respect as other women outside these industries.

Pre, masyadong romantic ang tingin mo sa isang dynamics ng isang relasyon. Hindi lang yan basta repeated cycles ng reconcillation. Kung every after reconcillation hindi naman kayo natututo, eh hindi rin magiging healthy yan. And sometimes you can't really reconcile your differences because of your situations na ayaw nyo naman ayusin. If I maybe honest and like you hindi ako naghahanap ng gulo, sa tingin ko pre ang mga sinabi mong ito sinasabi mo dahil lang masaya ka. Dahil may nakukuha ka pa. Higit sa lahat dahil gusto mo ng validation at patunayan sa mukha ng mga naysayers na tulad ko na mali kami at di ka namin naiintindihan.

Kaya nga tingin ko saying that women in this trade are this and that and are way better than the women you meet in the regular world is just.... well... naive sa totoo lang. I dont think you are saying this because you really know this is true. You are saying this because this is what you want to believe . I mean sure, they are human beings capable of love and benevolence and all that. But saying that they are better than the regular women in your office? Come on! Don't you think thats a bit too much to say naman? But you say what you say because andyan yung emosyon pare. Alam ko masarap, medyo exciting, nagkakaroon ka ng ibang perspective, pero konting hunos dili naman.

most people who come to this thread, and lets be real, are looking for validation their regular friends wont give them. At least this is MTC, marami dito mahilig sa KTV MP at Spakol, so they are hoping may makakaintindi sa kanila na di sila tatawanan. Actually they are wrong in saying na hindi sila naiintindihan. Sila ang hindi nakakaintindi sa ginagawa nila kasi nga sobrang clouded ng emotions. Kaming mga naysayers dito kami yung tinitignan itong issue na ito ng walang halong emosyon. Sabi ko nga, feel with your heart because thats how you become alive, but decide with your mind because that is what keeps you secure.

The problem becomes compounded when kita naman sa sinasabi at inaasal kulang pa sa emotional maturity yung tao, at hindi makita pinagkaiba ng infatuation sa love. Komo inalagaan lang ng konti, magtitiwala na agad. At syempre gagawin ang lahat para depensahan yung kaligayahan nila laban sa mga taong tulad namin. Even to the point claiming na dito na umiikot social life nila.

Good for you kung nakakasama at nakakaibigan mo sila sa labas. Pero sana don't be too naive. Basa basa ka ng mga kwento na lang sa mga threads. Marami naman talagang mga MP ang kakaibiganin guest nila for a variety of reasons. Magkaroon ng regular na kukuha sa kanila, madali maiimbitahan sa events ng club, at kung magipit mauutangan kasi naging kaibigan na. And lets not lie to ourselves here, bisyo pa din ang pagpunta sa mga ganitong lugar. OO kinakaibigan mo sila, pero bahagi pa din sila ng bisyo mo. Kaya dapat may mga nakakasocialize ka din o naliligawan na walang kinalaman sa bisyo mo para di restricted yung perspective mo

Last, I just wanna say, hindi ako pumupukol ng bato sa mga babaeng ito. Makasalanan din ako kung tutuusin. I respect them as human beings and citizens with basic rights, I dont even mind socializing with them. Heck I have friends who spent time in the slammer and heavily tatooed. But that is not the same as saying I am willing to give them my full trust and affections. Well.... kahit kaninong babae sasabihin ko din ito for different reasons. In this case, its because like I said, pag akin, akin lang dapat.

curios lang ako, na experience mo na ba un ganun situation? I mean, may minahal ka na ba before na involved sa ganun line of work? pansin ko kasi ang lalim ng pinag huhugutan mo sir, share ka naman ng mga experience mo so we could learn from it.pansin ko din kasi, parang sa opinion nyo sir, disaster lage ang ending ng ganun set up...hindi ako nag hahanap ng gulo linawin ko lang, healthy discussion lang. kasi based sa experience ko, mas may tiwala ako sa ganito ang line of work kasi upfront and walang pwede I deny, not unlike sa mga ordinary girl na nag ttrabaho sa office na kaya mag sinungaling ng harapan. at least kasi pag ganito ang line of work, alam mo un limitations nya.

To answer your question no. No I have not started anything romantic with someone from the trade nor do I see myself doing something like that in the future. Not that I wanna demonize women like this. Makasalanan din naman akong tulad nila. Its more of, as taong willing magmahal ng buong buo at magbigay I want someone na magiging akin lang at hindi hahawakan ng iba. Its a reasonable condition considering I have a lot to offer. If you wanna know kung bakit malalim ang pinaghuhugutan ng mga sinasabi ko, siguro dala na din yan ng maraming karanasan sa pagibig, relasyon, at syempre ang paulit ulit na masaktan ng sobra. Pero ang mahalaga, natuto naman ako each time. At lahat naman ng sinasabi applicable sa kahit na anong klase ng relasyon. Nagkataon lang ito ang context natin.

FIrst of all, Any idiot can love and be loved. That is a given. But it takes maturity and wisdom to build a healthy relationship that transforms you into a better human being. THose are the kind of relationships worth pursuing. Also anybody who is EMOTIONALLY MATURE, will tell you na hindi sapat ang pagmamahal for you to pursue a certain person. Forgive me for saying this, but only an emotionally immature person would reason with his heart. You never reason with your heart. You use it to feel, but its still your mind that needs to understand and dictate your actions. Bird and fish can fall in love but where would they live?

Second, happiness is not enough to gauge if your relationship or dynamics is healthy. Yang mga binabangit mo, hindi yan indication ng healthy dynamics. It can mean you feel comfortable with them, thats all. Ang hirap kasi sa iba dito, ano ba pinagbabasehan nila na healthy nga yung relasyon? Sex? Magaling magalaga yung babae? Kilig? Come on! Lahat ito mababaw lang. Hindi kayo tatagal at magkakaroon ng magandang relasyon kung puros lib0g at konting kilig ang pagbabasehan mo kung dapat mo panindigan ang babae o hindi.

Third, ito ang lagi kong sinasabi be fair sa sarili mo. Kung tao ka na handang magmahal at rumespeto why not ask na maging sayo lang dapat yung babae? Maimagine mo ba yan na nahahawakan ng iba? Mahal ka nga, di ka naman kaya panindigan eh anong silbi nun? Ngayon kung halimbawa nakaraan nya na ito at hindi na ulit sya babalik sa ganung klaseng buhay, then ibang usapan yun. At least sa ganyan sitwasyon wala ka ng dahilan na mainsecure ka pa. All in all I dont disagree na tao sila na pwede magmahal, pero kung papasok sila sa relasyon na yan, talikuran nila yang trabaho na yan. Sa lalake naman, kung lagi mo i-short change sarili mo.

Fourth, your last statement.... clearly this is your minds defense mechanism to rationalize that "experience" you may still be enjoying at this point. I am not saying that you are 100% headed for disaster, I am saying you are clearly rationalizing it and if I maybe honest in a bit of a denial by saying women in this profession are more honest than those you find in your office. Can't you see na medyo naive itong statement na ito at sinasabi mo lang ito kasi masaya ka and your psyche is trying to guide that happiness? Think about it brother!

This hypocrisy is not limited to the church. Hypocrisy can be found in the culture itself. For instance, people universally condemn corruption. But then given the opportunity to indulge in corrupt activities themselves, these very same people who say they condemn corruption will in fact indulge in corrupt activities.

 

As I mentioned in the other forum, it's not easy to change the culture of a nation. I, for one, do not know how we can change culture in a short amount of time. Education stressing proper values, coupled with a government that is clean, hard working, and with a vision for the country can only go so far. Should a corrupt government succeed the current one, we're back to square one.

Naalala mo yung Hayden Kho scandal? More than Hayden Kho the real pervert there was society. Lahat gusto sya ipako sa krus pero makailang beses naman pinanood yung sex video at bumenta pa sa mga bangketa. If you already knew what was in it, then why watch it? Di ba sabi pa ni katrina tuwing may nakakapanood paulit ulit syang nare-rape? Lol! But anyway, all the more we should legalize pornography. One way or another people are gonna want to keep accessing this commodity so you may as well have a way of regulating it.

Nung una hesitant din ako sa panukalang ganito, but when I saw how it works well in Japan, naisip ko its not such a bad idea. Kasi sa Japan, kahit yung hardcore porn may censorship pa din. At malinaw definition ng pornography dun. Kahit anong movie na may maselang bahagi ng katawan papakita considered sya na porn therefore pareho lang ang terms ng regulation

My phone is broken it got wet....

No s@%t! Thats why it kept ringing

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naalala ko nga itong sinasabi mong white knight na eto sir edmund sa kabilang thread.

 

well sa akin naman ok lang naman ma in love sa isang therapist. deserving din naman silang mahalin kahit ano pa sila. so mga taong na sa ganitong situation, wish na lang natin na maging successful sila

opinion ko lang. Peace.

Masyadong simplistic ang tingin mo sa issue. Ang totoong buhay ay hindi parang isang eksena sa isang star cinema rom-com na kung saan kahit anong problema pagdaanan ng mga bida magtatagumpay sila basta nagmamahalan. Hindi sapat ang pagmamahalan para magkaroon ng totoong happy ending. And forgive me for saying this, pero ang isang taong nabubuhay sa pilosopiyang "understand from the heart" ay walang emotional maturity. Parang teenager na sobrang in love hindi na nagiisip. You feel with your heart but understand with your mind.

Most of all, huwag masyadong nahihilig sa ganitong bisyo. Hindi tayo nagmamalinis dito, pero prangkahan lang, marami dito ang sobrang sineseryoso ang bisyo na ito. Magkaroon din kasi dapat ng legit na social life at huwag puros sa MP KTV at Spakol inuubos ang pera at oras

Problem is we live in a hypocritical society where almost anything is tolerated except viewing pornographic materials. As if viewing pornography is worse than bribing people to vote for you by giving them cake, or stealing taxpayers' money.

 

We rarely hear the Catholic Church criticizing the corrupt practices of politicians. But try introducing a bill legalizing pornography. All of a sudden, the church and holier than thou characters will start coming out of the woodwork condemning the bill.

Ignorance is really a disease. There is no scientific data that conclusively links sex crimes with pornography. Satin nga na naturingang illegal porno mas mataas pa incident ng incest rape. Pwera pa dyan mas mataas pa teen pregnancy rates satin kumpara sa Japan kung saan legal na legal porno.

You gotta treat pornography like cigarettes and alcohol kasi. Kung tutuusin mas nakakasama pa nga sa utak ng tao ang alak kesa sa porno. But you don't ban these substances, you regulate them. You put an agency na mangangasiwa dito. Tsaka, dahil alam mong capricho ito ng tao unlike food clothing and shelter, you tax it. For pete's sake, sperm banks need these kind of material. If couples wanna try something to spice up their sex life, let them use it.

Tama ka, hipokrito ang simbahan. For sure daming pari dyan ang patagong may scandal video na pinapanood. Pagbigyan na dapat yan sila. Pag di yan sila makaraos magkaka prostate cancer pa yan sila

I probably will get plenty of thumbs down for saying this but I will say it anyway. I notice most people here say "prayers prayers prayers".

I have nothing against people who somehow find peace and serenity in religion, but what most people do not understand is that Depression can be considered clinical. Meaning to say you have to treat it like any other disease out there that requires expert and technical diagnosis. So telling a person who may be suffering from clinical depression with things like "Kapit ka lang kay Lord", "Tibayan mo pananampalataya mo sa dyos", "Sama ka sa bible study namin" etc, wont help the person much. Because the person needs a doctor not a pastor. He may also need to have a brainscan. In my case noon, the grey matter in my amygdala was found to be eroding. Kahit kasi ilang beses ka mag rosaryo kung kelangan na ng tao operasyon, kelangan dalhin mo sa ospital.

I rope skip, which is in a way dancing na din

Please for crying out loud! Legalize pornography! Until we dont legalize it, lalaganap lang lalo ang underground pornography sa bansa natin. Kakalat lang lalo mga kung ano anong scandal video. Tiba tiba ang mga foreigners na pumupunta satin para gumawa ng amateur porn. Mas madami mabibiktima ng hidden cam hangang walang effort na illegalize ito.

Tignan nyo ang irony ng bansa natin vs bansang legal ang pornography ha lets take japan for instance

Sa pinas hindi malinaw definition pornography, kaya ang hirap magclassify. Sa Japan, dahil legal, may malinaw na definition. May malinaw pa na classification kung ano yung level ng restriction nya. So kahit pa art film sya na tinatawag, basta nagpakita ng genitals, then may cencorship dapat and pareho sa regular porn ang pag regulate

Sa Pinas, walang regulatory comission kaya mahirap ipolice. Sa japan, madaming regulatory comissions kaya dapat lahat ng production companies na gumagawa ng adult video kelangan magapply ng lisensya. Walang minor dapat. At kumpleto dapat sa medical clearance. Sa pinas, kahit sinong gusgusin dyan na may kung ano anong sakit, makakagawa ng pornography

Sa Pinas kahit saang bangketa makakabili ka ng mga bastos na media. Madali ibenta sa mga bata. Minsan mismong batang musmos pa nagbebenta. Sa Japan, may mga ilang establishments lang pwede magbenta at magpaarkila nito. Kelangan din sumunod sila sa patakaran. Kelangan nasa tagong lugar na di maaccess ng mga bata.

Sa Japan, dahil industry sya, yung mga legit na DVDs ang bumebenta, at legit AV idols sumisikat. Satin, puros underground namamayagpag, minsan unwilling pa biktima.

Hindi ko alam issue dito ng simbahan, samantalang may mangilan ngilan akong pari na nakilalang may mga X-rated na VHS. Isa pa, proven naman medically na pag di ka nilalabasan pwede ka madali ng prostate cancer.

You can love without having a relationship. And this love never ends.

So True!

ingat dapat...hirap na.hindi kasi ito ang hanapan ng relasyon..sa sumbatan lang din ito mauuwe.

tama at totoo yan. Syempre sa honeymoon stage wala kang pakialam sa nakaraan ng tao. Pero kinalaunan, pag nawala na infatuation, at nagumpisa na kayo magkainisan, papano na? Baka yan pa masumbat nyo sa isat isa

Correct ka jan sir,. Actually, my ex-wife was the one who hurt me most. 15 years of marriage and later, pera lang pala ang magiging dahilan. In other words, she left me with a loan of close to 2M to be with someone else...apart from that, nagkasakit din ako ng matindi to the point sabi ng doktors, I only have 8-13 months to live...e masamang damo yata talagang matagal mamatay...

 

Joking aside, all of us might have experienced being hurt. Iba-iba lang nga ang degree ng pain. I was able tto take that before and I do not want to go through that kind of pain anymore. I am now a bit wiser, and smarter after my ex-wife left.

 

So with this girl that I am with, binibigay ko pa rin 100% ko. Yung committment nung girl ay hindi ko rin matatawaran. She is really changing for the better, but I still keep my guard up at nagtitira ako para sa sarili ko.

 

Well, salamat sa lahat ng nag respond and nagbigay ng feedback.

Tindi din pala dinaanan mo parekoy, and I am so sorry to hear that. But Im glad your experiences made you grow as a person after having to survive something like that. Kaya all the more di mo na dapat pagdaanan ulit yan. Calculate mo sana ng mabuti lahat ng risks mo. You deserve your happiness and fulfilment kaya sana sa tamang babae mo mabibigay lahat ng yan.

Pre from bro to another bro, after hearing your story I am really hoping magpapakatino yang GF mo, at di ka nya sasaktan ng malupit. Don't take this the wrong way, pero Im sure many of us would be pissed at her if taratanduhin ka nya.

So ano pa nga ba masasabi ko kundi, good luck sayo at sana magtagumpay ka. Mapatunayan mo na mali kaming mga naysayers. And hopefully you'd get to see tomorrow where the past is left behind as you grow to become better people

+99

it all comes down to reality, get a life outside, wag sanayin ang sarili sa mga bayaran like clubs, mps at spas.

try mo pag wla k pera, ni isa walang papansin sayo jan. kahit pangit bsta may matinong trabaho e nkakahanap ng matino at may itsurang babae.

ask urself? u want to be with someone na isang bayaran for d rest of ur life? "hi mom n dad, hello frends n colleagues, shes my wife, ymmv yan, dating p#ta pero nagbago na"...

dis is not a fairytale or a movie. its reality!

Even if you do have money, its pathetic kung puros dito mo na lang lagi uubusin. Try din dapat magsocialize sa mga regular na babae paminsan minsan. May iba dyan (di ko na papangalanan, pero malamang sya nagbigay ng negative vote sayo), na akala mo kung mga sino kung magyabang ng mga MP o GRO na naikwarto nila. Parang "Oh yeah Im the man bebeh!". Feeling adonis talaga. Now if any of these guys can do the same bullshit with the likes of…. Nicole Hernandez, Anne Curtis, KC Conception, then siguro talagang bibilib ako.

Very well said sir and I do admire that you speak your mind. Nagtitira pa naman ako for myself. I have not given everything (at least I know I have not) so at least if things don't work for us, then I still have something for myself (financially, emotionally, spiritually).

Well very good kung ganun, at least you are not walking my line. Yun ang mali ko noon eh. I may not understand how a relationship with someone from the trade works, but I do know what its like to go through a sh!t load of pain. Yung tipong sobra ng sakit itatanong mo sa sarili mo kung "lalake" ka pa ba? I understand ang pride ng isang lalake at mahirap pag talagang may dumurog nito. Di bale na pera, kikitain mo lang naman yan ulit eh.

But seriously, I know I dont get to say this often, I do want my fellow guys to succeed sa mga napipili nila kahit ano pa history ng babae. I do say a lot of things here that sting some, but still that does not mean I dont wish na they prove me wrong. I always give benefit of the doubt naman eh. Baka nga naman magbago yung babae and she does turn out to be a wonderful woman. Nakakapagpabago naman ang pagmamahal di ba?

Yun nga lang, kelangan din natin isipin na ang totoong buhay ay hindi parang eksena sa isang romantic movie na kung saan sapat na ang pag-ibig para sa huli happy ending. Doesn't work like that. If we are not careful sa mga decision natin at puro "Understand from the heart." Kaya I stand by what I said na, yes you need your heart to be alive. But do not use your heart to understand. Use it only to feel. Understand and make decisions with your mind after CAREFULLY weighing your risk. If the reward is not outweighing the potential reward, then better off not go for it. For example, kung di mo naman nakikita yung commitment ng babae na talagang magbago ng linya, eh why go with the risk di ba?

Prof. Yamada

Eccentric overzealous work junkie. But he will never ask you to do something he is not willing to do himself.

Agree 110%!! Madaling sabihin isang bagay..mahirap gawin o tanggapin ang katotohanan. I might be in the denial stage pa rin..I might be looking for confirmation...hehe, bottomline as you mentioned iba kapag puro emosyon which I have to admit, puts mu logical and reasonable thinking at bay. Good thing we have people like yourself to punch us in the face and put lemon juice on the scratches to "wake us up" into reality.

 

Salamat Sir..mabuhay kayo!

Hehehehe

I dont wanna pour salt on anyone's injury parekoy. Dumaan din ako sa matinding sakit at depression. I would never wish for any part of that to happen even to my most hated offenders. Sure hindi ko pa napapasok ang ganitong relasyon sa babaeng galing sa ganitong kalakaran. But I know what is like to love unconditionally, give so much of everything, and sa huli maiwan kang sugatan at di mapakinabangan. Sa umpisa madali sabihin na "Sige kaya ko ang sakit!". Pero pag andyan na ang dami mong gusto pagsisihan.

Nonetheless, kahit ano pa yan, sana magtagumpay ka pa din in the end. Everyone naman deserves to find peace and happiness with the person na aalagaan ka at di iiwan. Sana lang if things dont workout, maplano mo na lang maigi ang graceful exit mo.

Loyalty and Trust are two different things. In every relationship, do you really trust your partner 100% at the onset where you first met her/him? I highly doubt it. Even if the the partner does not come in the bar /clubbing line of business (let;s say an office worker). you build trust as you go on with your relationship. Would you believe if your partner say that she is dating you exclusively right off the bat? Would you believe your partner 100% if she/he tells you that she/he is already at home ready to sleep (and the truth is, she/he is at a bar with friends, etc..)Either you are gullible or outright a very mild-mannered, very trust giving person. But unfortunately, I am not. I need to see if the person I will be sharing my life with is trust-worthy.

 

You see, trust is not asked for..it is earned...right? that;s why we have the saying, "You do not ask for someone to trust you, you have to earn it"....meanwhile loyalty can be asked for. Someone can be loyal to you without even trusting that person...its like this...out of necessity, someone can be loyal to you..but once they see an opportunity, they can quickly change sides....but if you truly trust a person(and vice-versa), whether you go bankrupt or sell fishball on the street, that trust will remain (unless otherwise you or your partner gives you a reason NOT to trust him/her anymore...betrayal of trust).

 

'Nuf with the sermon...bottomline here is we go into relationships (not marriage) because we want to know our partners better. We want to know their past not to argue about it but to see if we can accept those past and live on the present and future. We want to know if they are hiding something which might haunt the relationship in the future, we want to know if we are indeed comaptible on most things...we want to know if they are "trust-worthy"...If you trust your partner 100% at the start of your relationship, is there a sense in courtships, GF/BF period, etc...then go straight to marriage (if you believe in marriage)...A lot of failed relationships happen because of lack of trust...or the betrayal of trust.

 

For myself, I do know the consequences of getting into this kind of relationship. I know how it feels to be betrayed but I DO KNOW how it feels to be loved. I know the feeling between true & unconditional love and "CONDITIONAL love ( if we can call it love). This is still the testing period of my relationship. I repeat, my relationship with my GF now is still in its infancy stage. I knowing there will be more challenges. But as an example...I have been proven wrong at least a dozen times by my GF...what we call tamang hinala-on my end. Up to this day, I cannot find a single iota of an evidence that she has been unfaithful to me...be it during work or outside work. whether she can hide and keep secrets like the NSA or CIA or plainly, she is telling the truth of her whereabouts, whom she is with and etc...

 

anyway, many thanks for the healthy suggestions, discussions, opinion, feedback and advice. Trust me (pun intended) that all these are taken very well...all are digested and absorbed by me. All positive..no negative.

 

Many thanks MTC and MTC'ers.! Mabuhay po kaung lahat!!

I agree, kaya nga there is some level of trust you will give to a friend, a different level of trust when she becomes a girlfriend, and a much higher level pag asawa mo na. And with trust there are some things you give and take. Sa observation ko kasi, tingin ko, you gave too much too soon. Binigay mo na kaagad puso mo, at sinusustentuhan mo ng konti kahit hindi mo pa nakuha yung tamang level of security. OO masaya ka kahit papano, pero andun yung nangangamba ka pa din. A relationship wont be healthy that way.

Pero naiintindihan kita, sa buhay kelangan minsan sumugal. I think lahat naman dito naramdaman na yung mahalin at magmahal. OO napakasarap. Yung tipo bang kahit magkanda leche leche na araw mo, basta alam mo may isang tao na andyan sa buhay mo, sasabihin mo pa din na napakaganda ng buhay. We all long for that feeling. Kaya nga in a way you wanna prove the naysayers wrong. You wanna find things that will support or even validate your decisions in the end. And why not? A happy ending is always worth risking right? Kaya sasabihin mo sa sarili mo talaga, OK lang, handa ako masaktan kaya ko ito. Nga lang mas madali lagi yan sabihin. Its like watching a boxing match and imagining kaya mo tumanggap ng suntok, pero iba na pag talagang tinatamaan ka na. And hindi lang yan, dyan papasok panghihinayang, pagsisisi, etc. I know at this point you wanna say you wont go down that road, but like I said its different when you are actually on that road na.

Kaya always control your passion, and calculate your risks properly. Yes feel with your heart, but do not let it reason out everything. One common phrase guys who come in this thread say is "Hindi nyo kasi naiintindihan pakiramdam". Actually naiintindihan namin kasi lahat naman tayo nakakaranas magmahal at mahalin. Ang totoo nyan, mas mahirap intindihin ang isang sitwasyon kung lagi na lang emosyon at hindi utak ang gagamitin.

Ganun pa man, andyan na yan. Coming from someone who has been through a sh!t-load of pain, I can only wish the best for you

LOL! Inanatay ko nga syang mag signify maging ASTRONAUT e...

Lol! Astronaut.... Nah magpornstar na lang sya uso naman scandal sa pilipinas eh.

Agree po ako sa sinasabi mo sir. I still do not trust her completely. That's why we have a thing called ligawan or courtship period and GF/BF period. Trust is not earned overnight..it will take time. Agree din ako sau sir to say that being happy should not be the only baseline or gauge. I am not questioning why she chose me...you might be right and I am actually leaning towards your statement. Kung may mapili man syang iba, then I have to swallow my pride and live with it. Else, it might work.

 

And thanks for being positive man...again, trust does not come overnight. our relationship is till in its infancy stage. One question is, do anyone of you entered a relationship trusting your partner 100% agad? did it take time for you to fully trust her/him? Does the past of your partner really affect you in such a manner that you lose your "love" for her/him?

 

Salamat ulit sa mga responses. Eye opener po mga tanong ninyo...yung mga opinion ninyo. Mahirap talaga ma-in love...maganda talaga may 3rd party opinion.

 

Mabuhay MTC! and mabuhay mga ka-MTC!

Well, kaya nga mas maganda sa kahit na anong relasyon magestablish kayo ng trust as friends muna. Hindi minamadali at masyado nagpapadala sa silakbo ng damdamin, para sa GF/BF period walang insecurities di ba? Mas enjoy ang honeymoon stage better.

As for your question, ito personal opinion ko. Mas maganda yung walang skeletons inside the closet. Clean slate ika nga. Gusto ko alam ng babae lahat sa nakaraan ko at ganun din ako sa kanya. If she can accept me for what I am then she deserves my heart and trust. At syempre, dapat maliwanag na past na yun. We take each other as who we are not who we were. Kung may isang detalye sa nakaraan ang bigla na lang sumulpot it might ruin what you built eh.

But ano pa magagawa namin, andyan ka na. All we can do is hope for the best para sayo and sana nga your little risk will pay off. If not, well there is no real easy way to prepare you for the potential heartbreak. Maybe you are the kind of guy who easily moves on hopefully. Nonetheless, magkakaroon ng peklat pa din yan sa puso mo... so Ingatan mo yan ng mabuti.

Remember feel with your heart, but decide with your mind.

Thanks for all your responses. I know where I satnd and yes, emotions are still getting in the way of logical and reasonable thinking. And yes, the mind should be the ultimate decision maker but hormones triggered by emotions coipled with the attachment to the girl bring forth mixed decisions. No matter how I weigh things, emotions still get in the way But I am taking the long road towards our relationship.

 

Honestly, she just texted me that she has no more budget...but she is not imposing on me. Its; just to inform me and she is making means to support herself with my measly allowance for her. And she insist I do not give her the money but rather she took a loan from her manager....and she will pay up on her own....again I am not rich but the question is, why does she still want me and love me. Now, if you are asking or contemplating if she will go VIP tonight, it maybe so...however, I have a trusted friend that she does not know of that will be in the bar that she works...lets say an entrapment laid by my friend where they will ask for VIP time...let;s see what happens...

 

BTW, my GF is working in one of the more classy bars in the likes of Pega/AF1/HB/EA and I wouldn't say where exactly....my friend and I had a conversation and said he is willing to be my PI

 

Updates tomorrow

If I maybe honest lang, maybe you should not have entered the relationship at all if you needed to come up with such an elaborate scheme to find out more about her. Here is the clear fact my man. YOU DO NOT TRUST HER. Not completely at least. Love is not enough to sustain a relationship man. You gotta establish trust and mutual respect. You gotta make sacrifices too. Being happy should not be the only gauge you should use to see if you are gonna head towards a good healthy relationship.

Now as to why she chose you though you are not really that rich, well marami pa din ibig sabihin yan. I dont mean to judge your girl man, but lets just try to present all possible scenarios. OK babae pa din sya kahit papano. She does see something in you she likes obviously. Maybe she loves you even. But that does not mean she can't use you, financially or emotionally. Pwede din kasing mas pipiliin nya yung lalake na hindi man ganun kayaman, maayos naman syang trinatrato at kahit papano nasusutentuhan pa sya. Kesa naman sa mayaman na ibibigay nga lahat ng luho nya, bababuyin naman sya ng sobra. Maybe she does like it na you treat her like a queen, but that does not mean hindi kasama financial factor kahit papano why she is keeping you around. Ang tanong, pano kung makahanap din sya ng someone kaya tapatan pagiging romantic mo at mas mataba ang bulsa?

Pero sige, Ill be a bit positive. Hopefully, she will leave that job of hers para maging sayo na sya exclusively at wala ka na dahilan pa para mainsecure. Ang sakin lang, naglalaro ka ng russian roulette kasi sa ginagawa mo. Hindi buo ang tiwala mo sa kanya pero gusto mo pa din pasukin ito.