Edmund Dantes

Hmmm I can only imagine.

 

Yes, true mark of maturity is to endure to be by yourself in the midst of your confusion/ pain.

 

If its not to imposing pare, may i just ask...If it hurts so much and it's painful to be apart from this person, why not fight for her? Sure she is committed and it also takes for her to fight for you as well-- pero all those time to just get over her, di ba parang that's rare? I mean we don't usually fall that hard for somebody? Parang Ang Hirap ulit hanapin un ganun. I mean that's just me.

 

Pero I guess it's meant to be that way. Sabi nga Kung masalimuot talaga- it's not God given. You will know that it's right- if everything just fall in to its proper place naturally. Very light. Very spontaneous.

I did fight for her. Kahit nga sa sarili kong pamilya who has been with since lumabas ako sa mundo kinalaban ko para sa kanya. The thing is the breakup itself was more of my fault really and I accept that. I am man enough to accept that. Isa pa, its not really the worst that could have happened. So as painful as what I have gone through has been, maswerte pa din ako kahit papano. And besides after some time in solitude marami kang nakikita na di mo napapansin noon eh.

The thing is, its not that I should fight for her. I should fight for me. I lost myself in all that happiness passion etc. Di ko tiniran ang sarili ko. Looking back now, kung talagang minahal ko sarili ko, dapat di ako papayag na maging maruming sikreto. But what happened happened and all I can do now is learn.

I am in a better place though. Nakatulong talaga yung time for me to be wiser and emotionally stronger. Hindi kasi ako emotionally independent noon eh. Now mahal ko sarili ko and I wont lose that love again for anyone.

I'm sorry to hear that bro.

It must be one f*kcng whack in the head to be going thru a heart ache and worst, have to battle out depression and alcoholism. For a girl? Or was it just because of compounded disappointments in life?

 

Since you are comfortable mentioning it, I have to assume that you have already overcome that chapter in your life.

 

I also have to assume that you're single- and that you're the third person in this girls life. My apologies for being too candid if not insensitive on my previous posts. Ikaw pala Ang Hindi pinanindigan. I must say - girls really are different nowadays. Or should I say far from what society has stereotyped them to be.

 

Anyway, when you age like I do- happiness is not all that matters. Marriage is about sacrifice kasi you do out of love for the person. Things you don't so before- or you think do not imagine doing- you wil just act it out naturally.

 

I say good luck to you. You sound young. You will meet your partner in life who later on would make it right for you. Not because she will complete you but because she will brig out the very best in you.

Lets just say that its so complicated aabutin tayo ng ilang pages kung ikweikwento ko pa lahat. You have no idea how excruciating my pain was. So difficult na I was actually living 5 mins at a time. But those 5 mins marched into days and weeks and months, and a year. And I made it! The journey has been difficult but I can honestly say I am a much better person now. Yun lang naman ang key eh, patawarin mo sarili mo, at umpisahan itong mahalin sarili mo, at matuto ka. You just need to refuse to keep being a victim and be a survivor.

Now I am single and I am enjoying having a relationship with myself lang muna. Kasi when I was swinging from one relationship to the other, masyado kong di tiniran sarili ko kaya dapang dapa ako nun.

Eto pa isang magandang aral from a female friend. Ang puso parang bata yan na masarap pasiyahin. Pero pag nasobrahan na, nagiging sutil na at hindi na makikinig sa pagpapayo. Kaya kelangan dinidisiplina din natin ito para huwag maging spoiled masyado

Yes. I'm not one to sugar coat what I have to say. Glad that you are over that episode in your life. Ako kasi much as I would like to live in the moment- I would also like to anticipate that how I do things right now will definitely have an impact on my future. So balanse dapat. You have to be both practical and logical as emotions cannot be trusted. Love like all others take judgment. It's a decision. Pinaninindigan. If I'd be in the position (god forbid) to be tested with a temptation, I would like to be fair and cut clean first- before I pursue another. It's also the same kind of thing I expect no less from my partner. Kahit masaktan ako. Basta Kung gusto na niyang mag loko- tapusin na niya Muna un sa akin. Life is too beautiful to be wasted on someone who is not truthful to you. Marriage after all is based on love, respect and trust. You take one off- parang it loses all it's essence.

I had to learn it the very very painful way. I went through a battle with alcoholism and depression lol. Obviously I get to laugh about it now.

One thing kasi that blinded me nung nandun ako sa ganung klaseng relasyon was that sobrang saya ko. I had relationships before at hindi ako naging ganito kasaya at fulfilled. Kahit payo ng mismong pamilya di ko pinakinggan. Akala ko kasi, dahil masaya ako, I should pursue this. Pero di ko narealize that by being in this relationship, maraming taong pwedeng masaktan and most of them do not deserve to. Second is that, by aggreeing to be someones dirty little secret, I was not being fair to myself, hence not loving myself.

Kaya natutunan ko, Happiness is not a gauge for right or wrong. Just because something makes you happy, it does not mean you should pursue it. Because in an instant kung gaano ka kasaya magiging 10 beses naman sakit na kapalit.

ano ba mga signs ng depression?

May mga tests sa internet kung gusto mo magself diagnose muna. Its questionaire form but to name a few symptoms for heavy depression

1. Anxiety and panic attacks

2. Restlessness

3. insomnia or pwede ring hypersomnia

4. syempre andun din yung walang gana kumain

Basically, you are so sad, you can not even get up and do anything. As in wala kang gana sa lahat.

Ang mahirap sakin, depression hit me at a time when malayo ako sa mga kaibigan at pamilya. Tapos ang lamig lamig pa. Pano naman yun? Pero if you take small steps everyday to better yourself, and not give up, you will see that no matter how tragic your experience may get it can always get better for you.

Some tips I learned

1. Grieve! Its healthy, but dont unnecessarily prolong it.

2. Time is your friend only when you use it. If you let time use you, it becomes your prison.

3. Have a mindset that after the pain comes wisdom and strength, so its good to embrace pain from time to time. But do not nurture the pain, nurture the strength and wisdom

4. Most of all, Dont be afraid to seek professional help if you feel the need to.

Ang depression kasi, pwedeng clinical na yung condition. Ibig sabihin tulad ng ibang sakit sa laman na malubha hindi mo yan basta basta malulunasan ng mga pep talk tulad ng, "kapit ka lang kasi kay Lord". No offense to religious people here. If you find comfort in religion thats ok. But what I am trying to say is that this can be a real clinical condition that requires a technical remedy ng maayos.

Ang naiinis kasi ako, whenever I say sa mga tao dyan na I wanna see a doctor or seek professional help, ang stigma kaagad baliw na ako . O kaya kulang sa pananalig kay lord . Hindi nila makuha na kung inaatake ka ng kumplikasyon sa diabetes, hindi naman yan masusulusyunan ng pagrorosaryo o bible study.

For me, seeing a doctor and attending support group meetings really helped me a lot. Yan ang kelangan natin siguro sa pinas. Mga support groups

Secret love affairs are for cowards who do not have the balls to call it quits with their significant others and are not man enough to own up to their lusts. Of course we can justify and romanticize our indiscretions. Pero bottomline, its all about being truthful to oneself. Kung ayaw mo na, dont punish yourself in to sticking out with your partner. Kaya nga may annulment e. Life is too short to be wasting your time fearing that you might get discovered in your indiscretions. Ibang usapan na lang kung talagang trip na trip mo ang maging philandering husband. I suggest you consult some professional help.

A year ago, Id punch you in the face for this post. But today? Id say tama ka! You are spot on. Mahirap talaga maging duwag at laging lingon ng lingon dahil alam mong problema pag nahuli

Madami na nagsbi skn nyan.my isa lng na iba s lhat n halos ibahay n aq.sadly ayaw ko macra ang pmilya nya.ppliin nya dw aq,napaisip aq.mali naman na gawin nya yun.hanggang nag decide kmi last march n blik s normal he is my client at part time lover lng aq.nkkainis kc bt huli q n sya nkta,hndi nya alm gno sya tumatak s puso q.khit mlki agwat ng edad nmin,ok lng ms minahal q nga sya dhil dun.he treated me as a baby tlga.msakit man peo ayaw q mwla nman lhat s knya lalo n mga anak nya.

Hmmmm tama ginawa mo. Tama na pinili mong huwag ka makasira ng pamilya. Aanhin mo naman yung sandaling kaligayahan na yan kung kelangan mo naman laging lumingon sa likuran mo. Mamaya eskandaluhin ka pa ng asawa. Isa pa, lugi ka sa ganyan setup. Pag sumabit na sya, kahit gaano ka pa nya kamahal, ikaw ang una nyang ilalaglag. Lalo kung madedemanda na sya. Higit sa lahat, tama na mas pinili mong sundin ang dikta ng konsensya mo at ng utak mo. Kahit kinailangan mong saktan puso mo. OK lang, yan maghihilom din yan. Mas mahirap naman kalabanin konsensya mo di ba?

Tsaka kahit ano pa trabaho mo, huwag na huwag ka magiging kabit dapat. Kung magmamahal ka, hindi ka dapat maging isang maruming sikreto nya lang.

No. I think this fight will never happen. Mayweather is just a plain smart ass and he knows he would lose to Manny if they fight. He will just duck and continue to avoid the 'dream fight' because of his stupefying arrogance and ego (bigger than himself).

A lot of people wanna keep insisting Mayweather would lose to Pacquiao, yet they cant say how. A lingering question I have been asking in this thread is

HOW IS FLOYD GONNA LOSE TO PACMAN? Anong strategy gagamitin nya? Anong weakness ni Floyd ang pwede nya maexploit?

We know Pacquiao has difficulty against precision boxers, we know he cant fight backing up, we know a counterpuncher turned his lights out, so how is he gonna win against a counterpunching wizard against Floyd?

As to the fight not happening, I dont think this is exclusively the fault of Floyds camp. Before Pacquiao took on bradley for the first time, Floyd repeatedly called him out. Pero sumingit Bob Arum sa usapan and made excuses like di pa magaling yung tahi, at kelangan ng outdoor stadium. So Pacquiao fought bradley instead and lost. Floyd had to pick Cotto for his singko de mayo fight.

While it can be argued that Floyd is aging, that same argument can also be used on Pacquiao. Kaya nga, basahin na natin dulo ng thread na ito, walang nakaka sabi kung papano tatalunin ni Pacquiao si Shoulder roll.

Dont waste any emotion or thoughts that make you not appreciate the good things you have

Pag na inlove nakaka bobo. Napaka swerte mo kung hindi ka choosy before hindi ka babagsak sa ganto klase babae kung hindi ka na challenged. There is no challenged! Kahit ano say nyo madami babae labas lang sa kabilang tenga advice nyo! Oo sasakay, pero it doesnt mean they agree. Kung real relationship wag dito. Sa mga naka experienced na, Im feel bad for you guys at pray ko na lang kayo maka move on..

Tama! Kasi pag masaya tayo, hindi natin iisipin ang tama sa mali. Masaya tayo, kaya lahat ng ginagawa natin justified and thats all that counts. Parang pag lulong ka sa droga, talagang di mo maiisip na bukod sa makakasama ito sa pangangatawan at pagiisip, pwede ka pa makulong. Hindi mo papakingan payo ng pamilya o kaibigan. Iisipin mo, di ka lang kasi nila naiintindihan (isang pudpod at gasgas na linya). Pero ang totoo nyan, sarili mo nga ang hindi mo talaga naiintindihan dahil sobrang bangag na bangag ka sa sobrang emosyon. At huli na minsan pag narealize mo na tama sila. Nasayang na pera at oras pwera pa dyan yung emotional trauma na dulot sayo nito.

Walang masama sa pagmamahal. Pero Ang lahat naman ng emosyon, pagmamahal, tuwa, lungkot, galit etc. nilalagay sa tamang lugar. Hindi pwedeng puro ka puso. Sabi ng isang mabuting kaibigan ko, ang puso natin parang bata yan na masarap alagaan at pasiyahin. Pero minsan nagiging spoiled yan masyado at ayaw na sumunod lalo kung sobrang pinamimihasa mo ng walang tamang paggabay

pesky mood shifts

Anti Epal law at Anti Dynasty bill

Dinadahilan ng mga political families na hindi naman daw ito nepotismo kasi binoboto naman sila ng tao. Ang tanong sinong inuulol nila? Natural! Ano ba ginagawa ng isang nanalo na sa eleksyon? Una bawiin yung nagastos sa kampanya, pangalawa planuhin yung kandidatura para sa mas mataas pang pwesto sa susunod na eleksyon, higit sa lahat siguraduhin na lagi kang may boto sa darating na eleksyon. Kung tapos na termino mo, eh di pamana mo na yang mga boto sa anak o asawa mo. Sa madaling salita, nagiging hindi patas ang eleksyon, kasi pwedeng pwede nila gamitin resources ng mismong gobyerno para masiguro na sila palagi mananalo tuwing eleksyon.

Halimbawa na lang dyan ang pamumudmud nila ng supot na may bigas delata at noodles. Sa bawat supot andun nakadikit pangalan nila. Sinong may sabi na tuwing kampanya ka lang bibili ng boto? Habang ikaw ang incumbent, mamakyaw ka na! Gamitin mo pa pera ng gobyerno! Syempre pag namudmud ka sa mga bara-barangay, kasama mo dapat lagi anak mo na plano mong pumalit sayo.j

In this context the saying is true that only FOOLS fall in love.

Yep, sabi nga kasi ni pareng Elvis, "Only fools rush in".

Ang utak talaga dapat gumagabay sa puso and not the other way around

Ok lang ang typos. Ginamit mo siguro yung mobile phone mo kaya nahirapan ka mag post. Anyway I think you made your point quite clear. Nobody (except the squatters and the politicians who are campaigning) will disagree with this proposal.

Honga eh, hirap magtype sa touch pad

I dont know kung naalala mo pa si Mang Pandoy. Nung presidential elections ng 1992, sumikat ito ng husto. Kinatawan mga mahihirap. Naging mukha at pangalan ng mga dukha. Syempre dahil sa kanyang 15-mins of fame, dumagsa biyaya sa kanya. Nabigyan ng baboy, bahay, binigyan ng trabaho sa munisipyo, may scholarship pa mga anak. Ano nangyari pagkatapos ni Ramos? Ayun namatay ng mahirap. Kinatay daw yung baboy kasi walang makain, naibenta ata bahay, ewan ko kung nagtuloy sa pagaaral mga anak, at at at, di nagtagal sa trabaho si Mang Pandoy, kasi may hika daw.

Ito ang dahilan kaya gusto ko talaga maalis kultura ng dole out. Hirap kasi sanay tayo sa beggar mentality. Kahit pa bigyan ng gobyerno tig-i-isang milyon mga yan, ilang buwan lang mahirap pa din sila. May dahilan kung bakit nabubuhay at namamatay silang mahirap. Pusta ako ng isang case ng beer at sisig, iresearch mo mga nanalo sa wowowee o mga gametime shows hindi naman umasenso buhay nila. Aanhin mo pangkabuhayan showcase na yan kung wala ka naman alam sa pagpapatakbo ng negosyo?

I'll agree this is an excellent proposal. Problem is the ones making the laws are the ones who benefit from these unethical practices. Law makers will never agree to pass such a law. Any one who does propose such a law will be ostracized by the majority and will never belong to the "big boys' club. Even urban poor groups will oppose this since they also benefit from the "benevolence" of candidates during the campaign period.

 

A clear example of our "leaders" perpetuating/reinforcing the mendicant mindset of the people.

sorry for the typos hehehe.

Para sakin, dapat talaga ibawal ito, kasi isa ito sa mga pinakamatinding dahilan kung bakit hindi natitinag mga political families lalong lalo na sa probinsya. Kahit walang patulay, eskwelahan, maayos na ospital, iboboto ka sa balwarte mo basta regular ka magambag ng mga "supot" na ito na may kalahating kilo ng bigas, isang de lata, at isang noodles. Madali bilhin ang katapatan ng mga taong kakalam kalam sikmura. Ano ba paki ng mga yan kung wala ka naman kaalam alam sa pagpapatakbo ng probinsya. Basta kasama ka mamudmud ng erpat mong outgoing mayor, sa susunod na eleksyon landslide na panalo mo.

Isa pang nakakainis, yang mga pinapamigay hindi naman yan galing mismo sa local government, at lalong hindi galing sa bulsa ni mayor. Donasyon na yan dati pa ng mga kumpanya o tindahan. Madali naman sa totoo lang hingiin ang mga yan eh. Lalo kung gusto magbawas ng stock sa mga bodega. Tapos, dikitan mo sticker na may pangalan ni Gob at mayor, ayus!

Minsan nakasama ako sa medical mission para sa mga agta. Para sakin, natapos ang araw na wala naman akong naramdaman na fulfillment na nakatulong ako. Unang una, nung tapos na kami sa mga libreng check up at mamudmud, wala man lang tumulong samin magangkat ng gamit pabalik sa sasakyan. Ni "salamat" wala din! Isa pa, ano matutulong ng mga supot na yan? Isang saingan lang yan ubos na. Wala naman sustansya sa sardinas at noodles. Bukas ganun pa din sila.

Forgive me for saying this, Im not being racist or anything. May isa kasing nagsabi na ang katamaran daw natin hindi naman sa mga kastila namana kundi sa mga agta, kasi ang agta, pag di mo pakainin, hihilata lang yan buong araw. Sabi ko naman, panong di magbabago mga yan, eh pinapamihasa pa lalo.

Space is healthy in any relationship. Even though when you are in one, dont forget to have a good relationship with yourself. Always maintain emotional indpendence. Kasi kung hindi you will always get insecure at magiging needy ka lang

A carreer is something you need to build on. Kaya konting pasensya dapat kung hindi ka masaya pa sa kinalalagyan mo. Ganyan talaga eh, hindi naman lagi na right after graduation makukuha mo na dream job mo. Minsan kelangan mo magumpisa sa ibaba and work your way up ika nga. Find something you are passionate about. Kung san ka magaling, at ano yung gusto mo gawin kahit di ka naman bayaran. Minsan din, trial and error and proseso ng paghahanap ng isang bagay na magugustuhan mo talaga, pero dapat andun lagi yung dedication mo at syempre hard work and sacrifice. Remember that opportunities come to those who work for it. Kaya be patient.

Isa pa, dapat din you make steps or plans para sa future mo. Do things na makakatulong iangat skillset mo. If you have to, then go back to school. Meron kasi ako mga kilala na sasabihin di kuntento sa career nila, hindi sila umaangat, pero ayaw naman maginvest ng konti sa ikakaganda ng CV nila. Sasabihin "Ay ewan, ayoko na bumalik nanaman sa classroom, matanda na ako".

I did at pinagsisihan ko yun. after that storm, narealize ko na hindi dapat because of so many reasons.

Hehehe, I can relate. Ganun talaga pag lasing ka sa sobrang sakit at emosyon, talagang bababa mo dignidad mo bilang tao. Pagkatapos muhing muhi ka sa sarili mo at ginawa mo yun. Oh well, live and learn lang tayo. Ako talaga after that, nangako ako sa sarili ko never ever again. Kahit gano mo kamahal yung tao never ever give up your dignity

Kaya my advise never ever be with a woman who will bring out the worst in you as a man. If there is an indication that she might turn out to be a manipulative nagging biatch, run your ass off. Bago ka makasakit o makapatay pa. Alalahanin natin, lalake lagi talo sa mga kaso ng ganito.

I'm even wondering if it'll even be a good fight. I might turn out to be a boring one since masyadong tuso si Gayweather...

Parekoy,

Kung hindi ka enthusiast ng baseball you will find it to be a boring sport also. Mayweather is a precision fighter and a defensive wizard, may not be entertaining for your taste, but it sure is effective.

We all love to hate on Floyd, its easy to do that because he is a villain in the sport. We all love to think that he is simply scared of Pacquiao. But just what would support that premise? May dapat ba talaga sya katakutan kay Manny? Bukong buko na ang ang loophole sa istilo ni Manny. Hirap talaga sya sa mga precision boxers at hindi makalaban pag sya ang napapaatras. To be frank with all the die hard pacquiao fans here, I do not think Manny will beat Marquez if there will be a 5th fight. He is just not the same fighter he used to be anymore. He is way too exposed.

Tsaka, I believe hindi naman kasalanan lagi ni Floyd kung di natutuloy laban. Sundan kasi natin yung timeline ng negosasyon at makikita na yung kampo din naman ng TMT lumalapit na kay Pacquiao, pero may pagiinarte din kasi kampo ni Manny at Bob Arum.

We can keep going back and forth dito kung sino may kasalanan at di natutuloy laban. Ganito na lang, kung naniniwala kayo na dapat matakot si Floyd kay pacquiao, ano dapat nya katakutan? Matatalo sya? Pano? Anong fight strategy magagamit ni Pacquiao para ipanalo ang laban sa ganitong istilo ng boxing? Gayong kita naman natin na nakaapat na laban na hindi nya masolve style ni Marquez

Minsan kelangan natin magumpisa sa pinakadulo kung saan nagmula ang lahat. Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon pwede tayong bumangon kung san tayo nadapa at dun magpatuloy. Kung minsan kelangan mo umpisahan ulit sa dulong dulo, at huwag manghinayang sa kung ano kelangan isakripisyo kapag naguumpisa ulit

True! Learn to live and love myself after those traumatic experiece on my last relationship

Well mukha naman may natutunan ka naman sa nangyari sayo pagkatapos and thats how you make the pain worth it. You learn as much as you can, and you allow it to make you a stronger person.

Yun ang pagkakamali ko noon eh. Akala ko mahal ko sarili ko hindi pala. Kaya nung iniwan, walang wala akong pagmamahal sa sarili ko, kaya nagmakaawa na talaga ako halos na huwag ako iwan. pero ang sarap din pala matutunan mo na mahalin yung sarili mo. Yung tipong masabi mo na, kesehoda kung magisa lang ako, magagawa ko pa din maging masaya

Ang pinakadehado at talo pag nanakit ang lalake ng babae ay lalake din mismo. Kasi no matter what the reasons maybe, no matter how badly provoked he is, sa mata ng tao at ng batas sya ang lalabas na masama. Sya ang laging demonized.

Advice nga lagi, pag talagang puputok na busti mo sa kakadakdak ng asawa o GF mo, its better to really walk away. Just walk away and cut all avenues for communication. Time does wonders to cool everything down. Go to the gym and hit the heavybag till your heart explodes out exhaustion. Whatever you do, never fight fire with fire.

Huwag na huwag mo hahayaan talaga mawalan ka ng control sa sarili mo. Parang drugs kasi talaga ang sobrang galit, nakaka-high, at talagang nawawalan ka ng control sa sarili mo. Kahit nga sa mga sparring di ba? Sinasabi huwag na huwag ka mapipikon. Kasi pag galit ka, iisipin mo lang gusto mo gawin sa tao, hindi mo iisipin ano pwede mangyari sayo pagkatapos

Sa kaso ng babae, hindi yan syempre makakaganti ng sapak, pero pag umiyak na yan sa pamilya nya, sa kaibigan, at lalong lalo pa sa pulis o barangay yari ka talaga.