Falling in Love with Someone When You Cannot...

[willow_boy]

This happened to me with the last girl I dated before I met my wife. Religion was the issue. To begin with, we already had different faiths when we met; she was Protestant while I was (still am) a Catholic. Pero ok lang iyon. Things were fine for a couple of years. Needless to say, we had a lot of fun.

 

Then came a day when one of her friends took her to a bible institute. The group was what we would call fundamentalist Christians. From then on, things changed slowly but surely. When before, religion wasn't an issue. Now it was. Big time. She started rejecting the tenets of my faith and it became a frequent topic and source of argument whenever we were together.

 

In short, I reached a point na even though I loved her and would have loved to marry her, I decided to just disappear from her life. It was very difficult and I was depressed and couldn't sleep for months pero I simply had to do it. I still feel a tinge of sadness whenever I remember the relationship because of the way it had to end. :cry: (Mayroon bang may Kleenex diyan?)

[hottlipss]

 

^^ awwww....

 

I took mine to the extreme to forget my ex-fiancee since moving to 3 different states still didn't work...I got married to somebody else I only knew for less than a month hoping to forget him. Extreme Rebound relationship! Even after having 2 kids and 5 years of marriage, my ex-fiancee was still in my heart. Didn't help that I was married to an a$$hole.

 

When my ex-fiancee found out that I was legally separated and waiting for my divorce, he called me up and wanted to start off where we left off. He flew to Hawaii from Cali to meet but on the last minute, I realized that it's not going to work out....too many things have changed and happened and I worked so hard to forget him...I just didn't want to be in that circle anymore. And I started realizing that it's better na hindi na lang ibalik ang nakaraan. So I called him up, explained my feelings, and cancelled. With all the things that's happened in our respective lives, I don't think we can ever overlook them and just start where we left off.

 

I must have intimacy and commitment issue kasi with my hubby now, I cancelled our wedding the night before. I saw our marriage as something that might ruin his life because of our age difference.

I figured I'll be the better person and let him go inspite of our love kasi mas nakakatanda ako. Ako na lang ang lalayo para hindi masira ang buhay niya dahil nga package deal na ako with 2 toddlers in tow. So what was supposed to be our happiest day, I broke up with him instead. But after a couple of days, he managed to kidnapped me and marry me at the nearest courthouse. He is the only one that's ever worked so relentlessly to break down the wall I've built around my heart. So in the end, I couldn't stay away from him.

Edited June 7, 2006 by hottlipss

[tsunade]

Sulk... then stay far far far away from that person... until you're ready to face him/her without feeling anything anymore.

[free2nyt]

You just CANT!!!

 

You might be separated physically but that special someone always stays in your heart and soul...

 

Free :mtc:

[Guest hotbabe0629]

I dont know!!! Napakahirap gawin, lalo na pag nasanay ka na na kasama sya.

[silentkilla]

Tulad ng sinasabi sa akin, just think of the ugliest things that they have and that way you would be so sick and irritated when having thoughts of him/her

[tsunade]

how about someone you hate now but used to love or even plain like??? just stay far far away... delete him from your life....

[silentkilla]

how about someone you hate now but used to love or even plain like??? just stay far far away... delete him from your life....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I agree to that

[petejam]

You simply do it.

 

Stay away.

 

And stay away, no matter what.

 

Itapon mo SIM mo. Cut off all contact. Kung taga -MTC, wag ka muna mag-log-in. Kung officemate, mag-resign ka or pa-assign sa ibang branch.

 

A few years ago, I fell for this guy... his wife found out about us and it was a painful thing to watch him get torn. I'd die a little each time we'd say goodbye coz he was obviously finding it hard to let go. We'd be having a great time talking tapos suddenly he'll heave a sigh and stare at me wistfully... He was hurting too much.

 

I had to stay away to give him back the normalcy of his life. It killed me to ignore his calls, delete his emails without reading them, but I'd made the decision that if we wouldn't be meeting again, then I'd stay out of his life completely.

 

It's been 5 years. Kinaya naman.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

it was the same with me, but i was on the other end of the stick.

 

She ignored all my calls, texts and email. I really miss her but I made my decision so I have to live with it. Its been almost 2 years. I still miss her.

 

Very much.

[QTkolehiyala]

yup.... how do u stay away na frm d person u care.. un sbrang care kna for dat prson pro u fil neglected p dn?? nkksad tlga....

[pkeyman]

i get closer, so her bf wil take here away, enought dat i cnt reach anymore

[daggerlady]

been there but on different circumstance with Lian.

we were both in long-term relationships.

the risks of loving him were great.

i got coward.

i went far away.

i cut all communications.

i tried to forget him but i cant.

the feelings will stay.

[pussycatdoll]

 

So what was supposed to be our happiest day, I broke up with him instead. But after a couple of days, he managed to kidnapped me and marry me at the nearest courthouse. He is the only one that's ever worked so relentlessly to break down the wall I've built around my heart. So in the end, I couldn't stay away from him. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

wow, ms. hottlipss, what a story! ang galing naman ninyong dalawa! :thumbsupsmiley:

 

hay... how to stay away from someone you love so much? stay away from the phone, i-silent mo ang cell mo, stay away from yahoo messenger and always pretend you're too busy to talk on the rare occassions his calls get through. keep yourself busy with work and your old friends, take a class, pick up a new hobby, anything to keep your mind occupied. eventually you'll get over him/her. yun nga lang, di ko lang alam kung gaano katagal ang "eventually" para sa 'yo. i know some people who are over their loves within weeks, samantalang yung iba naman taon na ang binibilang ay in love pa rin sa mga ex nila.

[wonderwoman30]

ako nagpapaclose pa ko sakanya then i will realize na hindi cya worth it

[snake_5ph]

have a brain and heart surgery (replace them both)...

 

ask a professional to hypnotize u nd erase all memories of that person (if possible erase all your memories)...

 

lastly dig atleast 6ft below the ground and have someone bury you and wait till next day to get you out...

 

if all these still does'nt work then you're meant to be with that person...

 

[heavygatin_but_cutie]

no ifs and no buts.... WILL power lang po..... stop all connections...cut all communications...

[charmellan]

A nice article I got from the internet, I hope this helps

 

Let the healing begin...

 

 

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a

relationship means the beginning of a period of

mourning and healing for both people. If the break

up was mutual both people will experience a period

of adjustment where they are getting used to no

longer being together. If the break up was not

mutual the person who ended things may be dealing

with guilt and feelings that they may have made a

mistake. The person being broken up with will

definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected

and second to life without somebody they still

care for. How do you get through those first few

weeks? Here we list eight essential things

everybody must do in the early days of a break up

to let the healing begin.

 

 

 

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this

isn't being immature. Seeing your former flame can

bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say

something you will regret. In the first few weeks

the best thing you can do for yourself is not be

where you know they will be.

 

 

 

2.Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get

everything out so that you won't hold it inside.

Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk

about the situation but you need to let out all

your feelings and thoughts or they may come back

to bite you later.

 

 

 

3. Cry if you want to. It's OK to cry over a loss.

Don't hold back, let the tears roll just do it in

a safe and private place where it is unlikely to

get back to your ex. You don't want your tears to

be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to

cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.

 

 

 

4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away

anything and everything that reminds you of the

relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will

be out of mind until you are able to remember the

relationship without longing for it to still be

going strong.

 

 

 

5. Don't slip up and get together with your ex.

When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship

it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of

your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you

back and let's face it, if things ended the

relationship wasn't perfect to begin with so why

would you want to rekindle things?

 

 

 

6. Focus on all the things about your ex that

drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just

plain found annoying. Think about these things

often and replay them in your mind over and over.

Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to

remember that your former flame was not perfect

and that there are things you won't really miss.

 

 

 

7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your

ex may have done in your relationship. Really give

these things play in your memory. Remind yourself

that somebody who truly cared for you would not

have done such thoughtless things and tell

yourself (over and over) that you are better off

without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your

life.

 

 

 

8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick

with it. Don't pass notes through friends. Don't

make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging

or texting on your cell. Just don't contact your

ex until you are totally and completely sure you

no longer want to be with him or her. It is the

only way.

 

 

 

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be

done. Just stick to the game plan outlined above

and before you know it you'll be just fine.

[warmheat]

make a stand..thou its hard......bear in mind..If kinawawa ka then ikaw lang makakapag bangon sa sarili mo

[Blue_Harbour]

I cant stay away from her, even if she doesnt know i still do care and love, i check on her from time to time, asking her close friends if, shes ok, what may be her problems, still sending anonymous gifts, my intentions now is to just take care of her without expecting something in return, it hurts really...

 

Now I've seen her going out with a new guy, I guess, I just wish her my farewells and goodbyes... I just hope I made her smile...

 

"The ones you love, doesnt love you back, the ones you ignore are the ones who love you the most..."

 

[Thorn_Elemental]

its really hard to stay away! i just make my self super occupied to divert my atention,

 

specially if the one you love is already married...... and you always see her at work and whats funny is that you belong in the same team on the same shift...... it really hurts so bad,

[Thorn_Elemental]

malas lang talaga, but life goes on!

[iwalkalone]

umm...dapat magka amnesia siguro! :boo:

[mhim101]

amnesia nga.....yong hindi na babalik ang alaala mo

[Miguk]

I have the opposite problem. She originally wanted a married man as a BF cause I was safe daw, but it had come to the point that I was ready to give up everything for her but she couldn't do it. She wasn't ready was guily I think about breaking up my family. That really hurt. I didn't make the decision lightly. I also love my wife and hated the idea of hurting her, but the other woman was all that and more. Why does society limit us to loving one person at a time? I know that sounds childish and selfish, but at times it is reality.

[dominique_m77]

I have loved somebody… but unfortunately he’s already committed and has a family of his own.

We shared the love before.. but I guess he already changed.. the feelings for me had already

gone.. and I really don’t know the reasons why. Maybe, he really has so many reasons...

one of them is we’re not legal, we cannot come out to the world. Guilty feelings i guess. Or maybe

he just fell out of love for me.

 

It just hurt sometimes to see him and to know that he's with somebody else and seeing him happy

as if nothing happened between us. I just hope he still cares for me like I am still to him. But I’m

also looking for ways to stop my feelings for him, coz I feel it is now one sided.

 

I really don’t know how to stay away from him… and I don’t think I can do that at this moment

in time. We still talk, chat and see each other once in a while... but now... me as a friend to him.