The Mail Box

[Wyld]

I wish I could do more than tell you that all will be well... but for now, thats all it can be.

 

You know I am always behind you. You know I will always be here for you.

 

Lean on me.

 

Let me absorb some of the pain.

 

Let me hold your hand.

 

Things will be okay.

 

In time.

 

You have my love and my heart.

 

Always.

 

[misbyutiful]

kasama lang kita kanina. you know what, i laugh the hardest when im with you. you make me sooooo happy. sarap ng feeling, knowing i'm loved by you. im sorry if im childish most of the time..grrr

i'll be seein u again later, i miss you already

[fangs_of_spite]

that's just f**ked up.

i held on to that for the longest time, that was the original.

i sent it over so you can have it now...y'know, remember the flame.

but still you haven't got it. i could get another, but it would never be the same.

 

still i'm hoping it just got delayed or stuck somewhere.

[LB]

everything i need is you...

 

this is unplanned...

 

but i am glad...

 

[Barenaked-NoMre]

MM,

 

Talking to you for hours on end ... seemed like it was too good to be true.

 

You said many things I've wanted to hear that night.

 

Yet, after meeting you the other day ... I havent heard from you.

 

I know how you're NOT interested.

 

Fine.

 

I dont think you're what I need anyway. You're too complicated ... separated with 2 kids. Too many baggages for me. I've my own.

 

Good luck to you ...

 

Should we end up as friends or business acquaintances ... that would be more than ok.

 

A

[wjc-934]

Moving On…

 

It occurred to me again, this time in the middle of procrastinating against studying for an exam tomorrow. I kept you safe within the remote areas of my consciousness, but suddenly, as if driven by an unknown force, your memory unearths itself, returning some sort of unfinished business. Consequently, I pause from studying and I start thinking about you.

 

And it always left me a touch of sadness.

 

As far as I was concerned, I made it a point not to think about you anymore, at least not that often as I used to, in the form of preoccupation. There’s a lot of homework to do, friends to spend time and energy with, family affairs, television, radio. There’s even a new object of affection in the rough. Works for the most part, I should say. Within the confines of my room with school books before me, there is forgetting.

 

Just like the manner by which ice cubes freeze bacteria within their crystal networks. As long as they remain frozen, everything’s safe. There is no need to worry.

 

But somehow, you still manage to permeate my system, as if it were an expertise or a tediously-learned skill. Moment by moment, you profusely enter my mind, filling my awareness with lost memories of once-upon-a-times and whatnots. Remembrances of holding hands, afternoon walks, lunch outs, text messages and phone calls. Of yesterday’s seemingly unbreakable promises and proclamations of forever.

 

I should’ve put into mind what an old friend once wrote, ‘Forever is not real’.

 

I have always yearned to understand what had happened between us. Us won’t even suffice: it was never a real relationship to begin with. We just hung out and talked and spent time together more often than we did with our other friends. Sometimes it pained me that I could not do anything in my power to make you speak about us. Certainly, the ambiguity was present, the ambiguity which you never wanted to clarify.

 

I could only let you go on with whatever it was that you desired, whether it be ranting about your insecurities, rejoicing over happier news or lamenting about your eventful past. On the other side, I remained silent in the middle of your hyped-up emotion. I was like a child with beaming eyes, eager to hear more stories of how you came about to be the person that you are. For you once told me that listening to you gave you strength to go on, and so I did. I have always wanted you to be okay.

 

Yet when it was my turn to be heard, the silence was a void. I suspended my disbelief when I convinced myself that you always meant well, whenever you apologized for there was nothing you can do about my bouts of depression, or when you simplify things by saying that everything will be alright. I know I should not expect things from other people; perhaps I was at fault when I wanted more from you when you can only give so little.

 

You hurt me. You hurt me many, many times. You hurt me so intensely I never dared to tell you anything about it. I was a fool to think that it was a better way of dealing with things. And that, I presume to be my biggest mistake: I abandoned myself. I sought for your happiness that I forgot about mine altogether.

 

And just like that, you vanished, very much like a soap bubble floating across air. I have watched you in complete awe, wonder and even fascination. And similar to any ethereal fleeting moment, you were gone, leaving me clueless as to whether you even existed in the first place.

 

So maybe what we had was love. Maybe I loved you, and I hope to heavens that you loved me back: even just for a split second when we held hands, or during that moment when I looked into your eyes, or the time when I laughed at one of your silly quirks. I’d be content with that idea, I’d be content that in the course of our friendship, there was a moment of mutuality…

 

Perhaps I still do love you, but that won’t do much now. I can fight to save everything that I’ve invested, but I chose not to. I have treasured you in the past, and that will be enough. Right now, all I can do is wish you well in all your endeavours, including the pursuit for the one who is right for you. When you find him, I wish he makes you happy. You make him happy as well.

 

The end is only a beginning disguised as a parting. I will still think about you every now and then, probably be sad once in a while, but you need not to worry. For I am okay and I will be okay under all circumstances. It may take time for me to love again, but in the long run, it will be all worth it. I may still risk myself, but every risk in its own respect is worth taking anyway. Love is such a convoluted mixture of emotions and decisions that it’s a matter of working your way through it.

 

Thank you for gracing my life like a whirlwind, leaving me breathless and hurt, inspired and furious, affectionate and listless. You’ve taught me quite a lot and I learned them in the most humbling manner. Thank you for showing me what it means to be human, to commit mistakes, and to discover how to regain yourself after everything that had happened.

 

Like what I always say, Ad astra per aspera. A rough road leads to the stars. I’m on my way to becoming stellar...

[LovenFaith]

woke up in a biting sad reality...

truth that really hurts...

people whom i trusted with coame out of his camouflage...

he doesn't really care...self-centered...

yesterday,i was drowned in my tears

but when i woke up this morning, it seems that i feel great...

or am i just numb...???

for i felt nothing for verything...!!!

a loved one whom i didn't hear from the other end of my line for quite long time now,

i should be wallowing in pity with that,but somehow i'm not...!!!

a good friend who walked away without even dropping me a line...

though i admit we had some misunderstandings,i do admit we also have some good times together...

i should be sad with that...but i seems not...!!!

a father who abandoned his own flesh and blood...l

i should be crying my heart out with that,but i'm not...!!!

 

it feels good to have this feeling...NUMB...!!!

who wouldn't feel any pain, loneliness, boredom, hate...!!!

how do i wish i'll stay this way...

feeling like i have my own world, or mere just have mask so as i'm unable to see

all the bad things this cruel world and this crazy life has for me...

or could i blame them...???

maybe yes,maybe not...but as of this very moment i really don't know...

all i know is i'm happy to feel that it seems i'm free from all the cruelty of my vulnerability...

from the harshness of people who have hidden agendas...

people who love to hurt me...take chances on my gullible faith that nobody will never dare to hurt me,

that all things are "just"...!!! :sick:

[Barenaked-NoMre]

JAL,

 

I seem to have lost your email addy.

 

Want to send you something private and personal ... only you would understand.

 

I miss you SO!

 

A

[Z]

Dear R,

 

Thank you even if my question seemed silly. I enjoy our long witty yet nonsensical conversation; our words of omission; the amusing dance we play; of thoughts expressed short of being said. I know you know I know yet not. Oh well, at least you know where I stand in this unexpected expectation.

 

Always,

 

E

[sha79]

baby...

 

i gave up.those tears is too much.dont wanna cry anymore.

i hav to move on while the pain is still bearable...goodbye baby.

[Zerreit]

No one likes you. They're just putting up with you. I'd hate to be in your shoes. You must be so misberable right now!

 

Good! Hah!

 

L

[sweetpsyche]

what do u want?!

tell me now pls.

i hate not knowing where i stand

i hate feeling this way....

i just want to know...

please tell me now.

[sweetpsyche]

U know what's weird?

 

the reasons why you LIKE me... are the exact same reasons why you can't LOVE me....

 

ahhhh the irony of life...

[Lipstick]

A quarter to tomorrow

A quarter past todays moment

 

 

 

My Felicity,

 

As the days slowly yet hurriedly go by, I am often left in awe with what our hearts have been through. The weeks have been hard and the aching intensifies with each moment our skins do not kiss.

 

I feel like I know you and not know you all at the same time. How terrifying it is and yet delightfully wonderful to explore everything about you. Some things discovered affirm what I have always known and some things unearthed pierce me to my very core.

 

Standing on the precipice of what separates yesterday and tomorrow, I know this much: I chose well.

 

How I love the contradiction that is you, I love the throbbing paradox you are. I love how you are so conservative & old fashioned and yet titillatingly naughty & passionate; I love how you are so wise & sage and yet like a little child with your innocent & boyish ways; I love how you seem oblivious, almost indifferent even, at times and yet weep joyous tears of love over the littlest of things I may do, say or give you; I love how you make me think you don't care and yet surprise me & move me to tears with your love expressed in words & caresses.

 

You once told me that you never expected this to run smoothly, that there will be good times & bad times and that it is good to have both; that you loved all of me and all means the best & worst of me and me in the best & worst of times. No other could love me the way you do. I also once told you that I, too, love all that you are made up of, all the things you could possibly be and will be but I missed telling you that I love you, too, for all the things you are not and never will be.

 

I learned not too long ago that when you take out the selfishness in a relationship, all that remains is true love. It is nice to have this happen at least once in a lifetime but twice? It exceeds the limit of human joy ... it is stealing fire from heaven. I am a thief.

 

I like being defined by the three words. Even neopets can have real feelings.

 

Tu m'embrasse.

 

-L-

[Wyld]

 

Sweetest...

 

On my way home, I was listening to the radio and it played a cover of that old mushy tune More than Words. I found myself humming along to the song, and of course, as expected, I found myself thinking of you.

 

There really are no words to explain how settled you have made me feel. Nothing can describe just how much joy and peace you have given me, just by being you. No adjectives will ever be enough to describe how I feel each time we talk... no superlatives will be sufficient to give breadth and depth to how I feel for you.

 

I can just say thank you for being you. I can just give back what you give to me... and hope that in my own way, I am able to let you know exactly how I feel for you too. You are the other half of my soul, the keeper of my heart. You are my blessing and my gift. You are my own.

 

No words. Just feelings.

 

I feel.

 

- Nina

[Barenaked-NoMre]

UI,

 

I thought of you when I watched "40 y/o Virgin" with a friend.

 

NOT that you were a virgin ... more of the similarity of the main character's interests. Most esp. when he couldnt part w/ his Ironman action figure. ;-)

 

I miss you SO!

 

A

[misbyutiful]

arrgg i miss you already.

[smaug]

Lhet,

 

my thanks for the memories of happiness and bliss,

and the simple things in life we did that surely i'll miss.

i know that the fault is mine,

and i should have toned down my pride.

 

yes truly i was hurt and dazed,

and their challege i have acknowleged.

never in my life i had been disgraced

treated just like a hungry knave

 

i did what a righteous man would do,

and gave them a fair fight.

with a just swing of my club,

fell a many a man in each smite.

 

your brothers were my brothers,

the respect i gave them i gave not to others.

with sorrow i fought with them,

tooth and nail and tears.

 

The shame and humiliation i'll keep,

a thousand pardons i would give.

i thank you for being my life,

i love you for being in my side...

 

Paeng

[gen_g]

a lot has happened in months and so far i can only be content...what seems more important to me now is i did what i came to do, i conquered my fears and broke a cycle which i thought would never be broken....but i did and im proud that i did...but it takes a lot or work of maintaining where i am now...a lot sacrifices, self determination, preserverance, hard work, patience and inner manageability helped where i am now....it makes me think that i can now address the other things in my life that i have set aside for the longest time..taking 1 baby step at a time.....

[Guest globetrotter]

i know it will be a long while before we can talk again but i'll consistently communicate either thru pm or mails.hope you've received the package that i sent (docs and some stuff).hope you liked them. i miss you so much and love you very much.mwahhh

[Guest simply_miss]

even if i wanted to

i don't want to do anything anymore

cause i don't want to be accused of trying to hard

 

may everything just take place

in its proper time and moment

 

 

i do miss the friend i HAD in you

[Barenaked-NoMre]

JAL,

 

Your dear friend Jaime Licauco was being interviewed by Tina Monzon-Palma. They were talking about "Soulmates".

 

Based on the characteristics he mentioned ... I think you were mine.

 

Despite the distance ... I miss you terribly!

 

Yet, I know you have someone already ... am not as important to you now.

 

I am living with this reality and trying to live my life.

 

Things are just NOT right ... hasnt been for a LONG while now.

 

Our late night chats ... sleepovers ... fights ... lounging around the Intercon pool and bearing our heart, souls and dreams with each other ... drinking tea/coffee ... exchanging SEX-capades ... learning ... just BEING.

 

I have no one like this anymore ...

 

My life has been ever SO lonely since you left for Australia.

 

I cant even email you this and share with you these feelings ...

 

I know you have your life ... rather not bother you with mine.

 

God, help me!

 

A

[Barenaked-NoMre]

The One,

 

Been watching a whole lot of cable lately. Caught "The Firm" one time.

 

Would say this to you:

 

I've loved you all my life, even before we met. It wasnt even a part of you ... it was the promise of you.

 

May you CUM to me soon.

 

Anxiously WET-ing for you,

 

A

[bods1000]

it speaks of bewilderment, unease, and enchantment, trapped in states of indecent sense and improper longings.....each time I lay my eyes on you..........

[theCaptainOfTheEnterprise]

J,

 

 

What happens when a passionate man loses his passion?

 

Do his dreams die as well? Does he lose his soul? Does he force himself into hunger until his body consumes itself? Or does he simply wither away like a tree losing its leaves in Autumn.

 

Where will his power go, once fueled by the passion he once possesed? Or was it there in the first place, if at all?

 

Was it merely an illusion, created in his mind, energized by his thoughts, and in turn generates an overrun of energy, becoming passion in itself.

 

Passion in everything he does. Passion in everything that makes him who he is.

 

When passion dies, would the man die as well? Or would he go on living an empty life, meaningless, albeit living, for others are in need of his life force.

 

Why would he live, if without passion?

 

What happens when a man no longer has anything to give, nothing but an empty shell?

 

There is no answer but the answer in itself.

 

 

Yours

 

The man with five souls