Falling For Somebody 15 Years Older

[neville]

I like older men better. But at my age, these men are mostly married/separated/widowers with kids and grandkids.

 

Since I'd rather be with a single guy, I have to go with a younger man-as long as he can dig me.

 

There's something about older men that attracts me to them.

 

But heck, who knows who i'd end up with. If i'd end up with someone alright. :-P

[dibdba]

Im married and currently in a relationship with a 21 year old girl who is 30 years my junior ( ha ha ha do the math for my age). Of all my (past and other present)relationships, this is the roughest and most difficult to handle. Lalo lang dumami grey hair ko. Nevertheless tuloy pa rin kami for reasons I dont know.

 

i'm a few years younger, but i feel you bro.

 

it can get really complicated, but sometimes it's worth it.

[sOin2you]

I've previously been involved with a guy who's 16 years older than I am. It was all OK for me since I got no issues with the age or the gap. But I had a hard time managing his insecurities. When we'd fight, kahit fault nya, he'd say things that would make me look like ako pa ang may kasalanan.

 

But yeah, sometimes we take the walk on the road blindly coz of love...

[dibdba]

I've previously been involved with a guy who's 16 years older than I am. It was all OK for me since I got no issues with the age or the gap. But I had a hard time managing his insecurities. When we'd fight, kahit fault nya, he'd say things that would make me look like ako pa ang may kasalanan.

 

But yeah, sometimes we take the walk on the road blindly coz of love...

 

It's strange that a guy at that age is so insecure...

 

maybe he lacks confidence, and when he sees guys looking at you, he knows that they can easily take you away from him. buti na lang labs mo siya.

[jac]

It's strange that a guy at that age is so insecure...

 

maybe he lacks confidence, and when he sees guys looking at you, he knows that they can easily take you away from him. buti na lang labs mo siya.

Insecurity and confidence plays a lot in this kind of relationship. Dont know if it would be fair to demand faithfullness.

[sOin2you]

It's strange that a guy at that age is so insecure...

 

maybe he lacks confidence, and when he sees guys looking at you, he knows that they can easily take you away from him. buti na lang labs mo siya.

 

What's slightly unbearable at times were those when you have to keep on explaining yourself again and again. I mean, why else did I get involved with him, right?

 

But yeah, some things had to end too despite loving that someone. It's just sad to see it all go to waste. Going in blindly and losing yourself to it can be that much already. And I thought that with him being older, things would run smoother and more mature.

[dibdba]

Insecurity and confidence plays a lot in this kind of relationship. Dont know if it would be fair to demand faithfullness.

 

given the huge age difference , there is a natural generation gap.

 

i'm thinking that it is the guy's confidence, swagger if you will, that attracts the girl. unless it's the other bulge in his pants--the wallet.

 

as to demanding faithfulness, i don't know. faithfulness is absolute of course--either you are or you're not, but can we make an exception: demand "near-fidelity?"

[dibdba]

What's slightly unbearable at times were those when you have to keep on explaining yourself again and again. I mean, why else did I get involved with him, right?

 

But yeah, some things had to end too despite loving that someone. It's just sad to see it all go to waste. Going in blindly and losing yourself to it can be that much already. And I thought that with him being older, things would run smoother and more mature.

 

more than confidence, it seems he lacks trust as well, especially if you have to explain yourself again and again and again.

 

age is just a number, especially when a couple is in love.

[neville]

My ex-fling was 16 years older than me and he acted like a teenager in and out of the bedroom-not in a good way.

 

Jobless, selfish in bed, horny as hell.

 

Of course i wanted a real relationship and not occasional trips to motels.

 

My ex-bf was 4 years older than me and he was almost as bad as my ex fling...except that he had ambition and is now in new zealand.

 

I recently dated a guy 10 yrs my senior. I really enjoyed going out with him. I felt like a lady with him. however, he just disappeared without a word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Judging my experiences with older men, i thInk i should just avoid older men and date younger ones or guys my age.

 

Or say goodbye to dating altogether.

 

Or just do what other GMs do when in heat, hire a psp or get a masseuse to do sensual massage on me. No strings, lust sated, cold blooded and i get what i want.

[sOin2you]

more than confidence, it seems he lacks trust as well, especially if you have to explain yourself again and again and again.

 

age is just a number, especially when a couple is in love.

 

It was all about his insecurities, I'd say. I wouldn't have wasted a single minute with him had I not been serious with what we had. And yo make it worse, he was manipulating the situation to make me dependent on him for trust. He devised this character to stalk me online when it was really him. The character would leave messages in my ym and fb. To the point when I got harassed over the text and I was really surprised how that character knew of my personal number when I only gave it to a limited crowd, not even to my clients. I just ignored it despite having the hunch that it was him. Guess I couldn't bring it to myself to admit that it was him since I loved him that much.

 

That's one of the burden I had with him. Managing a lot about him... But yeah, I did love the guy.

[dibdba]

It was all about his insecurities, I'd say. I wouldn't have wasted a single minute with him had I not been serious with what we had. And yo make it worse, he was manipulating the situation to make me dependent on him for trust. He devised this character to stalk me online when it was really him. The character would leave messages in my ym and fb. To the point when I got harassed over the text and I was really surprised how that character knew of my personal number when I only gave it to a limited crowd, not even to my clients. I just ignored it despite having the hunch that it was him. Guess I couldn't bring it to myself to admit that it was him since I loved him that much.

 

That's one of the burden I had with him. Managing a lot about him... But yeah, I did love the guy.

 

oh ok. i understand this better now.

 

it is really about how insecure he is. it's almost like he's a professor: always giving you a test.

[boyong1973]

Managing a relationship is like managing a company. I read in business world last thurs an article about management with virtues. In a nutshell, words like loyalty and trustworthy must be defined. As well as fear of losing and insecurities. Strong words like trust and test must not be exploited if you wish a smooth sailing relationship.

 

This words must be clear to both parties and must be kept sacred at all times. We are just human and prone to commit mistakes but it must preserved and never abused. Drawing a line is always the best.

[*Jessie*]

1. He thinks thrice before he speaks. Or he doesn't speak at all after judging from the "feel" of the current situation that speaking will do no good.

 

2. Very sensitive and quite keen to detail. Example: He knows that the coffee may now taste bland after the ice melted so he'll either add a little sugar or add more sweetened coffee for the balanced bitter-sweet caffeine drink. He does this without you even requesting. You yourself barely noticed the coffee.

 

3. Hears your response "Okay lang" as "How about something else?" if asked if you want to dine in this restaurant.

 

4. Gives you space but keeps an eye on you without you noticing. He still knows what you're up to. Creepy but sweet and sexy at the same time (I don't know. Thats how I find it)

 

5. He holds his urges very well. You don't see a hint of uncontrolled ballistic libido. He remains very gentle even in private.

 

6. He somehow mastered the language of the Venusians.

 

As I noticed, younger men usually lack these characteristics. Perhaps, with respect to time, it really takes a while to acquire these skills or whatever you call these. However, I would like to believe that relevant to time, it requires quality experience (how you interpret it, I will leave it to you ) But above everything else, I guess, it requires conscious effort to see what relationships teach you regardless of length of time.

Edited November 30, 2013 by *Jessie*

[filibustero]

1. He thinks thrice before he speaks. Or he doesn't speak at all after judging from the "feel" of the current situation that speaking will do no good.

 

2. Very sensitive and quite keen to detail. Example: He knows that the coffee may now taste bland after the ice melted so he'll either add a little sugar or add more sweetened coffee for the balanced bitter-sweet caffeine drink. He does this without you even requesting. You yourself barely noticed the coffee.

 

3. Hears your response "Okay lang" as "How about something else?" if asked if you want to dine in this restaurant.

 

4. Gives you space but keeps an eye on you without you noticing. He still knows what you're up to. Creepy but sweet and sexy at the same time (I don't know. Thats how I find it)

 

5. He holds his urges very well. You don't see a hint of uncontrolled ballistic libido. He remains very gentle even in private.

 

6. He somehow mastered the language of the Venusians.

 

As I noticed, younger men usually lack these characteristics. Perhaps, with respect to time, it really takes a while to acquire these skills or whatever you call these. However, I would like to believe that relevant to time, it requires quality experience (how you interpret it, I will leave it to you ) But above everything else, I guess, it requires conscious effort to see what relationships teach you regardless of length of time.

 

This sounds like a dude that has a lot of battle scars from previous conquests in Venus. It is not so much the age of a man that determines his maturity; it is his experience with relationships.

 

1. Yes, only an experienced man will know that women don't argue based on logic, and it is futile to reason with a woman. So might as well shut it. Also, an experienced man knows that a woman can easily misinterpret what a man says (no matter how literal and simple his statement is). Therefore, he must be careful and deliberate with the words that he utters.

 

2. An experienced man is more sensitive because he has learned to appreciate the value of small acts of service and a bit of words of affirmation to a woman. As a young man I wasted energy coming up with a big surprise or a huge romantic gesture. But in truth, women value a small surprise as much as a big one, if not more. A rose given randomly a month in a year would actually carry more weight than a dozen roses given on a special occasion.

 

3. Even a young man knows that the "ok lang" of a woman means something else. That whenever she says "nothing's wrong" whenever she throws a b*tch fit means something's so wrong. But it takes a mature man to actually set aside his irritation to this type of mind game the woman is playing and to just actually tend to her needs.

 

4. Now this one takes a master! To make it appear that you are doing something for the woman's benefit when it fact it also benefits you. "Space" is something a man needs much more than a woman does. That's why dudes have "man caves": the ultimate space. When a dude says he's giving you space, then most likely it's to give him space. Unless he's the creepy overly-attached jealous type of guy.

 

5. I think older men can hold their urges more not because of maturity, but more because the hormones are no longer surging in the body. The "urge" is no different from hunger, sleepiness, etc. It's triggered by some chemical released in our bodies. The less of its pumping, then the more in control we are.

 

6. For all the guys out there, that crazy book that coined the "Venusians" bit is a must read. It makes sensible the senselessness of the actuations of women. Had I read it when I was younger, my first relationship would have survived.

[*Jessie*]

4. Now this one takes a master! To make it appear that you are doing something for the woman's benefit when it fact it also benefits you. "Space" is something a man needs much more than a woman does. That's why dudes have "man caves": the ultimate space. When a dude says he's giving you space, then most likely it's to give him space. Unless he's the creepy overly-attached jealous type of guy.

 

6. For all the guys out there, that crazy book that coined the "Venusians" bit is a must read. It makes sensible the senselessness of the actuations of women. Had I read it when I was younger, my first relationship would have survived.

 

Space. Man's space. Caves. I love this man's mechanism. We ought to stay in our caves once in a while. A few women do this too. We ought to clear our heads once in a while. Personal space is important.

 

I am not sure but I guess first relationships meant to fail in the end should gain acceptance especially from the youth who are just about to be scarred as they go through life.

[pentax^27]

Ka Freddie did it... why not di ba?

[9118]

Ever heard of the formula male age divided by 2 + 7 is the best age for his partner to be? if a man is 21 his partner's best age should be 18, if 25 should be 20, if 40 should be 27, if 50 should be 32, so the older man are the younger the partner''s age.....

[Brucedick]

My ex-fling was 16 years older than me and he acted like a teenager in and out of the bedroom-not in a good way.

 

Jobless, selfish in bed, horny as hell.

 

Of course i wanted a real relationship and not occasional trips to motels.

 

My ex-bf was 4 years older than me and he was almost as bad as my ex fling...except that he had ambition and is now in new zealand.

 

I recently dated a guy 10 yrs my senior. I really enjoyed going out with him. I felt like a lady with him. however, he just disappeared without a word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Judging my experiences with older men, i thInk i should just avoid older men and date younger ones or guys my age.

 

Or say goodbye to dating altogether.

 

Or just do what other GMs do when in heat, hire a psp or get a masseuse to do sensual massage on me. No strings, lust sated, cold blooded and i get what i want.

The jobless portion was really scary given the age...women who dig"this" really must like the guy to take this ll in...age are just mere numbers...it is just a state of mind...but still given being "seasoned" one should have achieved something...no just material I mean...

[viral]

Congratulations, Filibustero, for your great insights about men, maturity and relating to women.

 

Maturity does result from experience and not necessarily age. Sometimes, even for a young guy, it's the emotional and psychological ability to process things and allow one's mind to appreciate a woman's pov.

 

They say women tend to mature faster than men, I think especially if they're intelligent and balanced individuals. That's why women can have more of an affinity for relating with older men.

[Guest Dwayne Sanchez.]

hindi pa, pero wala ako plano

[layman37]

this is not unusual nowadays. ask ka freddie hehehe...

[insurgent]

Iba pakiramdam ng love ng matured talaga. Ung pakiramdam na kakayanin niya lahat para sayo wag ka lang mawala. Kung pano ka nya tignan eye to eye, heart to heart. Kung pano ka nya yakapin, lam mo ung feeling na ayaw mo na umalis sa tabi nya

 

 

Kung ako nga lang masusunod sana kami na lang, noon pa. kahit imposible maging kami. Di ko sya makakalimutan 'till death after life.

 

nakakAcurious haha

[renzyrenz]

basta mahal mo talaga okay lang ikaw naman at siya involved sa relationship hindi yung ibang tao pero siyempre minsan dahil sa culture mahirap ituloy kasi madaming conflict like pag chinese minsan lalo na pag yung guy/girl kaage ng mom/dad mo issue yan sa buong angkan haha i don't know lang if sa ibang culture ganito din hahaha

[Pinoy Moreno]

yup. ung tipong ramdam mong babaeng babae ka sa piling niya. assusss! drama na natin. hahaha! ganun talaga beb. sabi nga some people are meant to fall in love with each other but not meant to be together. Smile lang. pag may nawala may darating pa na mas mamahalin ka pa ng buong buo walang kasi kasi.

 

Grabe ang lalim

[K I M K I M 💋]

Numbers lang yan kung mutual feelings, parehas kids at heart, masaya, nagkakasundo this is all that matters.

 

Mas gusto ko rin mas matured, i've been in my last relationships (2ex's) long time din from college same age. Does't work ksi feeling ko sa immaturity nmin both.

 

Tama ka auds: iba ang love lang mas matured sayo, mas mararamdaman mo ung importance mo, aalagaan ka niya, kung pano ka niya yakapin parang wlang bukas, sincerity mas ramdam mo, bsta gusto mo sya kasama, pano ka tignan, pano ka kausapin, pakiligin, pano ka ligawan iba ung feeling, mas magpapakumbaba sya at wala syang choice kundi intindihin ka kasi mas bata ka parin pero mas madali nmn mag mature ang babae kht minsan gano ka old boy. Gusto ksi ng boy nilalambing at inaalagaan. Yung tipong may iba lagi aa relasyon hindi pa ulit ulit na scene

 

Minsan ksi may mga girls na after sya sa looks, yan tuloy naloloko pa rin. Mas mganda tlga di hinahanap ksi dumadating ng kusa yan eh bigla nalang kilangan minsan pag isipan ng ilang beses pero di dpat pigilan what makes you happy makes you strong

Edited September 6, 2014 by kimkim