How Would U Know If He/she Is Cheating?

[johnlove]

Ladies, how would you feel if sexual issues are separated from marriage?

 

ie husband and wife can have sexual partners as long as they are not in their homes

[jrsdc2000]

Based on my expererience..

 

Lahat na lang ng bagay,gagawing isyu para magka-argumento..at that point,para magkadahilan sya to have another party.(magkagalit kasi tayo nun eh kya naghanap ako ng karamay..sa guy!)

 

The rest are pakiramdam na lang talaga..

[westell]

Gut feel.

 

On this situation recently. Found something on her mobile phone disguised as a girl's name with an outbox message of naughty in nature. Confirmed my suspicions later on after i "investigated" the number of the said "girl". Confronted my wife and she admitted it.

[HotSexyWitch]

Here are some signs that your boyfriend may be cheating on you.

 

1.) The Time Factor: The first sign that your boyfriend may be cheating, would be a sudden decrease in the time he spends with you. Also, if you notice that when you do spend time with him, he may seem to be distant, unhappy, bored etc... Also, if there is an increase in unexplained lost time. If you know he is not working late, or hanging out with "Joe" and there are hours that he cannot account for. If he is starting to make excuses to not spend time with you. If he is "hanging out with the guys" more often than usual, and he seems to be gone for longer periods of time. He makes plans to do things and go places, and he does not involve you in those plans. If he complains about feeling smothered, and he tells you that he needs more time to himself. If he calls you less often, doesn't call you at all, or doesn't seem to care whether you call him or not. If he seems to be in a hurry to drop you off when you both go out, or he is in a hurry to leave when he is hanging out with you, there is a possibility that he may be seeing someone else.

 

2.) The Fight Factor: The second sign that your boyfriend may be cheating, would be an increase in arguments. If you and your boyfriend are suddenly arguing and fighting more often than usual. When the fights and arguments between the both of you are getting more heated, or severe, this is a good indicator of infidelity. If your boyfriend is starting to become confrontational, or he is taking your faults and flaws, magnifying them, and throwing them in your face. If the things he says to you during fights and arguments are more hurtful than the usual "fight words" he uses, and he shows less consideration for your feelings all together there is a possibility that he is seeing someone else.

 

3.) The Affection Factor: The third sign that your boyfriend may be cheating on you, would be a noticeable lack of affection. If he holds you less, forgets to tell you he loves you, doesn't tell you that he thinks you're beautiful, doesn't call you by the cute pet names he has for you, etc... If there is a sudden decrease in sexual activity between the both of you, and he seems less interested in having sex with you. If he acts differently before, during, or after sex. If he often makes excuses to not have sex with you, or he stops initiating the act. If he becomes defensive when you confront him over the intimacy issues, and denies that there is anything wrong, there is a possibility that he is seeing someone else.

 

4.) The Guilt Factor: The fourth sign that your boyfriend may be cheating on you, would be an overwhelming sense of guilt. If your boyfriend seems to be feeling guilty for something he may have done. You can tell when a man is feeling guilty just by the expression on his face. If he has a sad look on his face, and he tends to stare off at no particular person or thing, and he is having a hard time making eye contact with you, he may be feeling guilty. Sometimes a guilty expression can be misinterpreted as the man just having a bad day, but when it comes to this particular characteristic, you must pay close attention and follow your gut instincts. If you know your boyfriend, you should be able to sense when he is feeling guilty. If he displays guilty behavior such as stammering, or he seems uneasy and can't sit still. If he avoids certain subjects in your conversation, especially when it pertains to who, what, when, or where. If your boyfriend is omitting a guilty charisma, there is a possibility he may be seeing someone else.

 

5.) The Trust Factor: The fifth sign your boyfriend may be cheating on you, would be a sudden lack of trust in you. If your boyfriend begins to question your behavior, and he starts hinting around at not having faith in you, there could be a problem. The trust issue actually originates from the guilt factor. Your boyfriend may accuse you of being unfaithful if he feels guilty about what he has done. If there were existing trust issues prior to your boyfriend cheating on you, he may use those trust issues to justify the act of infidelity itself. For example, once he is caught cheating he might say something like, "Oh well, you never trusted me anyway."; or the double edged sword, he may say something like, "Oh well, I'm not so sure about what you've been up to yourself." If your boyfriend is cheating on you, and he is accusing you of cheating on him, he may actually be hoping that you are cheating on him, because it gives him a protective, yet false sense of justification. It is a fact, that you cannot have a relationship if there is no trust. If your boyfriend does not trust you, there is a possibility that he may be seeing someone else.

 

6.) The Suspicious Factor: The sixth sign that your boyfriend may be cheating on you, would be the more obvious, suspicious behavior he may display as a cheating boyfriend. Suspicious behavior such as leaving the room for certain phone calls, ignoring certain phone calls while in your inescapable presence (riding in the car together), a constantly blank call history on his cell phone, a name of a person he never mentioned, and continues not to mention in his contact list on his cell phone (he could have her down as a he), he does not allow you to touch his cell phone for any reason, secretive text messaging etc... Some other suspicious, but unmistakable behaviors of a cheating boyfriend would be, him looking over his shoulder while he is out in public with you, and keeping an alert eye out for someone who may see the two of you together. If he avoids certain stores, restaurants, bars, or community get togethers like the plague. When he avoids the previously mentioned places only when he is with you, and you just happen to know he is a regular at those places. If he comes home and has very minimal contact with you until he has showered. If you smell another woman's perfume on his clothes. If you spot makeup that is not yours on his skin or clothes. If you find feminine artifacts in his car or bedroom that don't belong to you. There are more suspicious behaviors that indicate a cheating boyfriend, but on that matter a novel can be written, so these are just the basics. You know if you find condoms in your boyfriends bedroom, when the both of you no longer use them due to the fact that you have been in a long term relationship and use other methods of protection such as birth control, you know he's cheating for sure. If you notice any of the above suspicious behaviors, there is a possibility that he may be seeing someone else.

 

7.) The Friend Factor: The seventh sign that your boyfriend may be cheating on you, would be noticing his friends acting strange around you. Guys will lie for their friends when it comes to cheating, but that doesn't mean that they are comfortable lying for him, and it also does not mean that they are good at lying for him. The cheating boyfriend's buddy can provide an alibi, at best. Though this does not mean that they can give you a descriptive story with a seemingly legitimate time line, since men are not good with the details like women. If his buddies act strange all of a sudden, there is enough reason to believe he knows something you would like to. Especially the friend of his that you have always gotten along with, if he seems to be uneasy about something, there could be a problem. You may catch the vibe that he simply doesn't want to get in the middle of anything. That is an easy one to pick up on. Most likely, your cheating boyfriend will be more worried about his buddies slipping up and saying something incriminating. For example; Your boyfriend was supposed to be with "Joe" at such bar, from 9:00pm to 1:00am on Saturday night. One week later, you hear "Joe" speaking amongst other friends about how last Saturday "Joe" couldn't make it to guys night out, because his pregnant girlfriend had to go to the hospital for some minor complications, and he stayed with her at the hospital the whole night. These slip ups happen very often, so one piece of good advice would be, pay close attention to your boyfriends pals when they are talking. No matter how annoying they may be. If your boyfriend told you he was with his buddy all night, but his buddy later blurts out that he was not around for that particular event, there is a possibilitsty that he is seeing someone else.

 

Those are the most frequent and detectable signs that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Though I must make one thing clear, one disclosed sign or instance does not necessarily mean that your boyfriend is cheating on you. Usually you will notice all of the above happening simultaneously. Some of these signs can be subtle and slowly progress into noticeably questionable behavior. If you are worried about your boyfriend cheating, simply pay close attention to his words, actions and behaviors. Always pay attention to his friend's words, actions, and behaviors as well. If your boyfriend has cheated on you, and he is working hard to hide what he has done while remaining in a relationship with you, it is possible that he feels it was a mistake and he regrets what he did. That doesn't make it right, but it does show remorse and a possibility that he still loves you. Whether you forgive and forget is up to you. If your boyfriend displays all the above questionable behaviors and doesn't seem to have any consideration for your feelings, and he doesn't seem to care if you find out or not, it may be time to leave him behind.

 

When your boyfriend cheats on you, it hurts. It makes you feel betrayed, worthless, and unattractive. If you have caught your boyfriend cheating on you, or you believe that he may be cheating on you, it would be wise to get yourself tested for sexually transmitted diseases. The cheating business is a risky business, and you need to make sure you put your health first. Do not make decisions based on your judgement which may be altered or impaired by the overwhelming feelings of love or rage. Give him the benefit of the doubt, and allow him to explain himself. If you have reason to believe that your boyfriend has been unfaithful, but you have not yet found solid evidence that he has, try not to openly accuse him on unfounded leads. Don't harass, interrogate, or badger him. Doing so when he has not done anything wrong can actually push him into the arms of another woman. When you ask your boyfriend if he has been unfaithful, you should approach topic with sensitivity while being reasonable and responsible. Avoid being agressive, sarcastic, and hostile. A woman who has been cheated on will suffer from extreme mixed emotions which are mostly negative. Though you are hurting, try your best to not become violent with your boyfriend. This can be dangerous for the both of you. If anything, him seeing how badly he hurt you, will most likely hurt him. However, if he is not phased by your obviously broken heart, he is not worth giving your heart to.

 

In a perfect world, boyfriends wouldn't cheat, but this is a far from perfect world. When it does happen, it hurts, but you do move on eventually. The best advice I can give to women who don't want their boyfriends to become unfaithful is, be the best you can be for him. Treat him with love and respect. Make sure he knows exactly how important he is to you. Be honest with him, be faithful to him, and let him know where you stand on what contstitutes cheating. Cheating can come in many forms. My idea of cheating is, doing anything you wouldn't do with your partner in the same room. I hope my advice can be most helpful.

 

Once a cheater is always a cheater, girls let's go for what guys do, GO FOR GIRLS! Hahaha

 

 

 

 

 

Edited August 23, 2010 by HotSexyWitch

[wannadoo]

galing mo, hotsexywitch

parang nakagawa ka na yata ng doctoral thesis sa topic

[Observer08]

Here are some signs that your boyfriend may be cheating on you.

 

1.) The Time Factor:

 

2.) The Fight Factor:

 

3.) The Affection Factor:

 

4.) The Guilt Factor:

 

5.) The Trust Factor:

 

6.) The Suspicious Factor:

 

7.) The Friend Factor:

 

Nice arguments HotSexyWitch, read through it and came out very enlightened.

 

Most of the signs are there but it is up to us to make something of it. People in love usually dismiss those signs as nothing or don't give it much thought until it's too late.

[dirigma]

How would u know if he/she is cheating?

 

This question is irelevant. If you can't trust your partner then i suggest you leave him/her.

makakatipid kayo ng sakit sa ulo....

[Seishi]

how would i know?

 

When one turns inconsistent.

[robsalvador]

how would i know?

 

When one turns inconsistent.

 

 

What if one is consistent despite..?

[Seishi]

^ hmmm well, either he's only after sexual gratification and not serious with the other woman or he's simply expert at hiding something

 

There will always be inconsistencies, no matter how small, especially when one finds a certain 'connection' from someone else.

[HAPONESA]

Walang ganang makipagusap

Lagi ka inaaway

Laging mainit ang ulo sayo

Walang time

Hinde na nag a i love you

Laging tinatago cellphone

Papapalit palit ng No. ng CP

Laging wala sa bahay

 

[robsalvador]

^ hmmm well, either he's only after sexual gratification and not serious with the other woman or he's simply expert at hiding something

 

There will always be inconsistencies, no matter how small, especially when one finds a certain 'connection' from someone else.

 

Touche'.. I guess if a partner is cheating, no amount of cleverness and cunning can cover all the bases. You are definitely correct that there will always be inconsistencies. But this will not be definite proof of infidelity.. It will sow the seeds of doubt at the least..

 

I have been inconsistent on very few occasions but not enough to set the tone for doubt.. At least not that I know of.. It is arguable that I may not know to what extent my spouse suspects of tomfoolery..

 

What I do rely on is the good relationship with my better half, my life partner. My priority as a husband, a lover and best friend is to that person. Whatever i have left for loving and giving attention to another person is secondary and that second (or third) person knows of it up front. This way nothing upsets the family/ marital set-up. For me extra-marital activities are merely that. Extra, addition, supplemental, icing on the cake, cherry on the float, etc..etc..

 

What about the second person? If that person accepts the situation then all is fine dandy. Keep an open relationship, keep an open mind. Nothing will be demanded because nothing was promised or made to be expected.

 

Why should such a second relationship exist then? Because we are people, sentient beings who act in ways we are not totally in control of. If two people like each other then that is the first step.. Where that can lead to is anybody's guess.. The worst we can do is make a mistake and move on, learn, try again.. But we may have lost the chance to be in something truly wonderful had we not given ourselves that chance..

 

My bottom line.. I will not upset the laws of nature. I will respect, love and never falter, never doubt. Most of all, I will be responsible for what I do. Own up to my actions and most of all.. Live and Love with all I've got..

[goemon06]

... My instinct never fails me.

[Seishi]

Touche'.. I guess if a partner is cheating, no amount of cleverness and cunning can cover all the bases. You are definitely correct that there will always be inconsistencies. But this will not be definite proof of infidelity.. It will sow the seeds of doubt at the least..

 

I have been inconsistent on very few occasions but not enough to set the tone for doubt.. At least not that I know of.. It is arguable that I may not know to what extent my spouse suspects of tomfoolery..

 

What I do rely on is the good relationship with my better half, my life partner. My priority as a husband, a lover and best friend is to that person. Whatever i have left for loving and giving attention to another person is secondary and that second (or third) person knows of it up front. This way nothing upsets the family/ marital set-up. For me extra-marital activities are merely that. Extra, addition, supplemental, icing on the cake, cherry on the float, etc..etc..

 

What about the second person? If that person accepts the situation then all is fine dandy. Keep an open relationship, keep an open mind. Nothing will be demanded because nothing was promised or made to be expected.

 

Why should such a second relationship exist then? Because we are people, sentient beings who act in ways we are not totally in control of. If two people like each other then that is the first step.. Where that can lead to is anybody's guess.. The worst we can do is make a mistake and move on, learn, try again.. But we may have lost the chance to be in something truly wonderful had we not given ourselves that chance..

 

My bottom line.. I will not upset the laws of nature. I will respect, love and never falter, never doubt. Most of all, I will be responsible for what I do. Own up to my actions and most of all.. Live and Love with all I've got..

 

 

well said... another post I love reading.

 

... and this is also my idea of living life to the fullest.

 

Extra marital activities are indeed just that --- supplemental. But feelings can also be sincere. The only thing is... it usually doesn't last. So just enjoy it, while you still can.

 

[wapacman]

You may never know. Smooth criminals don't get caught.

Spending all your energy trying to find evidence of infidelity will not do your relationship any good. Trust and not doubt can make relationships last.

[westell]

well said... another post I love reading.

 

... and this is also my idea of living life to the fullest.

 

Extra marital activities are indeed just that --- supplemental. But feelings can also be sincere. The only thing is... it usually doesn't last. So just enjoy it, while you still can.

 

 

I don't think it's supplemental. Moreso, an icing-on-the-cake. It's based on someone's systematic decision.

 

And infidelity does not always begin with attraction, but i think, of a reason.

[kitoy]

My gf and I have been together for 2 years already, we work at the same company. Before she was like super sweet and she wants to be with me every time, she would text always and she would call every hour. A few months back she got promoted and was assigned to another office, right now we are not working in the same building anymore and our schedule now is different(pang gabi ako at sya pang umaga na). When she got promoted and transferred, I noticed that she would not text or call me as often anymore. Given our schedule, we do not see each other as much as we did before(also sometimes kahit may time kami pareho, hindi pa rin kami nakakapagkita kasi minsan before we meet bigla na lang nya ko aawayin pero wala naman ako ginagawa masama tapos mauudlot na yung pagkita namin) . A lot of times I also noticed that after her shift she would text me to tell me that she will not go home yet because she has some errands to run.

 

Given the situation, minsan hindi ko napipigilan magisip kung bakit ganun na siya, minsan naiisip ko baka meron siyang iba. I tried to talk with her, I told her what I noticed about her, I asked her kung may problema ba sa amin. She told me wala naman daw siguro daw kaya ganun kasi magkaiba na kami ng building and pressured daw siya sa work ngyon. I'm not quite satisfied with her answer pero I just keep it inside na lang and I don't talk to her about it anymore.

 

Kaya ako nagpost dito kasi di talaga ako mapakali and I need some advice kung pano ko malalaman na kung meron nga siyang iba. This situation is killing me talaga. I don't know kung paranoid lang ako pero I get this feeling na may kakaiba talaga ngyayari eh.

 

Whew! Hope you guys can give me some advice.

 

Thanks.

[robsalvador]

My gf and I have been together for 2 years already, we work at the same company. Before she was like super sweet and she wants to be with me every time, she would text always and she would call every hour. A few months back she got promoted and was assigned to another office, right now we are not working in the same building anymore and our schedule now is different(pang gabi ako at sya pang umaga na). When she got promoted and transferred, I noticed that she would not text or call me as often anymore. Given our schedule, we do not see each other as much as we did before(also sometimes kahit may time kami pareho, hindi pa rin kami nakakapagkita kasi minsan before we meet bigla na lang nya ko aawayin pero wala naman ako ginagawa masama tapos mauudlot na yung pagkita namin) . A lot of times I also noticed that after her shift she would text me to tell me that she will not go home yet because she has some errands to run.

 

Given the situation, minsan hindi ko napipigilan magisip kung bakit ganun na siya, minsan naiisip ko baka meron siyang iba. I tried to talk with her, I told her what I noticed about her, I asked her kung may problema ba sa amin. She told me wala naman daw siguro daw kaya ganun kasi magkaiba na kami ng building and pressured daw siya sa work ngyon. I'm not quite satisfied with her answer pero I just keep it inside na lang and I don't talk to her about it anymore.

 

Kaya ako nagpost dito kasi di talaga ako mapakali and I need some advice kung pano ko malalaman na kung meron nga siyang iba. This situation is killing me talaga. I don't know kung paranoid lang ako pero I get this feeling na may kakaiba talaga ngyayari eh.

 

Whew! Hope you guys can give me some advice.

 

Thanks.

 

Not everything is evident.. First try and rule-out her relationship with her boss.. err.. promotion and relocation.. Ahem.. (Caution: Make sure this isn't a case of "I'm-insecure-because-my-GF-has-the-better-pay" syndrome..)

 

But seriously I don't think anyone can just give advice, much less a sound one based on the above alone..

 

I suggest you talk to a close mutual friend.. Even other friends close to her.. You may find your answers there..

 

The best you can do for yourself is just do your part in the relationship.. If she appreciates you, she should reciprocate.. If she doesn't and, you find your suspicions to be true, and I mean real or factual and not just mere conjecture, then that's the time you have to think of your next move..

 

Most importantly.. Communicate with her. If communication erodes, it usual means the end of a relationship. If on the other hand you can still really talk, the worst you can expect is a friendly break-up..

[westell]

My gf and I have been together for 2 years already, we work at the same company. Before she was like super sweet and she wants to be with me every time, she would text always and she would call every hour. A few months back she got promoted and was assigned to another office, right now we are not working in the same building anymore and our schedule now is different(pang gabi ako at sya pang umaga na). When she got promoted and transferred, I noticed that she would not text or call me as often anymore. Given our schedule, we do not see each other as much as we did before(also sometimes kahit may time kami pareho, hindi pa rin kami nakakapagkita kasi minsan before we meet bigla na lang nya ko aawayin pero wala naman ako ginagawa masama tapos mauudlot na yung pagkita namin) . A lot of times I also noticed that after her shift she would text me to tell me that she will not go home yet because she has some errands to run.

 

Given the situation, minsan hindi ko napipigilan magisip kung bakit ganun na siya, minsan naiisip ko baka meron siyang iba. I tried to talk with her, I told her what I noticed about her, I asked her kung may problema ba sa amin. She told me wala naman daw siguro daw kaya ganun kasi magkaiba na kami ng building and pressured daw siya sa work ngyon. I'm not quite satisfied with her answer pero I just keep it inside na lang and I don't talk to her about it anymore.

 

Kaya ako nagpost dito kasi di talaga ako mapakali and I need some advice kung pano ko malalaman na kung meron nga siyang iba. This situation is killing me talaga. I don't know kung paranoid lang ako pero I get this feeling na may kakaiba talaga ngyayari eh.

 

Whew! Hope you guys can give me some advice.

 

Thanks.

 

Paranoia is manifested fear. But fear can be overcome by acting on it. Intuitions are usually hit-and-miss. Unless you have proof that she's doing something behind your back, drastic measures can backfire.

 

Communicate with her. As I've said many times (and on the other thread), confrontations only lead to nowhere. Talk. Clarify things. Suspicions only damage the trust.

[silver_ff]

I don't think it's supplemental. Moreso, an icing-on-the-cake. It's based on someone's systematic decision.

 

And infidelity does not always begin with attraction, but i think, of a reason.

 

 

i disagree i think it begins with attraction..u are attracted to that person so evrything u see about her is right..therefore when u look at ur partner and dont see what u see on no. 2 that's when u start to reason out..u start to make excuses coz u wanted to succeed on no.2..that's when cheating starts to come in..

[silver_ff]

if you've been with that person for quite sometime then it should be easy to feel wether he/she is cheating..there will be changes in the usual things that u do,,emotional attachment will change..ur partner gets a lil colder,less intimacy..less interest in what u say or do..less effort in making u happy,,less time to spend with u..when u already feel this talk to ur partner or do an investigation..lol!!

[Seishi]

^ Very true

 

Anything that is out of his usual routine and yes, when he turns extremely sweet and romantic than before. hmmm

[bestbuysecurityguard]

based on my experience, sudden loss of sexual interest by my wife..

[mc_darklight]

siguro if all of a sudden bigla nalang syang nawalan ng time para syo...

 

or palagi nalang kayong nag-aaway sa mga small stuff

[nashty]

Based on my experience, even though you've got a new job, moved places and all.. if you want to make it work, you'll do something to make it work.

 

If the effort isn't there, then something is wrong. If you've talked to her already and things didn't improve, then it might be time to move on.

 

There could be a lot of reasons she might lose interest.. and one of them is she is "distracted" with someone else. But based on the information you've told us, it doesn't conclude that she is seeing someone else.

 

Worst case scenario: She is playing around with someone else. Someone from the office maybe.. and she "goes out" with that person when she says she's been doing errands. (I hope she doesn't say she sleeps over or may company overnight).