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Would You Indulge In A Secret Love Affair?


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  • 3 months later...

Hmmmmmm Secret A,ffair parang Clandestine Cuddles . I have been in a pathetic relationship for a long time which I'm trying to salvage at no end. wacko.gif

A nd if ever I find the right man who would give me thelove and happiness I deserve then I think I'll go for it. I know it's a sin but its a sin din to live miserably and not do anything about it. And the affair will not be purely sexual or based on lust alone .

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  • 3 weeks later...
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  • 4 months later...
  • 4 months later...

I had one, and with all my biases it was the happiest relationship I ever had. Even if compared to my previous relationship I didnt get to be with her everyday. And it wasn't even because of the sex or all that excitement. We were just in love, and when you are in love everything appears magical. We had our own little world and that was enough.

 

But there are things you can conveniently ignore when you are that happy. Such as you are lying to people around you. People you care, people you can hurt. And of course problems would come along. I got to be more and more insecure because at the end of the day, no matter how you are assured that you are loved? You can't bend the truth that she is hiding you like a dirty little secret. And that you could never be prioritized, and she'd never fight for you because the risk on her part is just too great.

 

And so, when it ended, it also became the worst emotional trauma I had to suffer. Wala naman akong pagsisisi or anything like that. I just wished lang when we were starting that I knew better. That we told each other to slow down. Na kung talagang gusto namin ito, gawin namin ng maayos at tama. Ayusin muna namin buhay namin, then saka namin paglaban nararamdaman namin. Wala eh, masyado kaming naging masaya at nagkamali ng akala na things will get fixed by themselves.

 

Isa pang malaking natutunan ko, hindi ko minahal sarili ko ng tama sa relasyon na ito. OO masaya ako, pero hindi ibig sabihin nun mahal ko sarili ko. Kasi kung mahal ko ang sarili ko, hindi ako papayag na maging isang "maruming sikreto" lang ako sa buhay nya. Eto ako halos buong buhay ko ibigay ko sa kanya, at pinaglaban sya tapos ako itatago lang na parang chewing gum sa ilalim ng upuan nya? Kaya kahit na gaano kasakit, talagang nagdesisyon ako to leave it all in the past. All good and bad. And take this time to love myself again.

 

Morale of my story I guess is that, if for some reason you have to keep your love affair a secret, then maybe you shouldn't have it. Kasi yan ang mga bagay sa buhay na dapat kaya mong panindigan at ipaglaban ng patayan kung alam mong tama.

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