KristinLavransdatr

"he who knows how gets the job. he who knows why is the boss."

now, i know why my boss called up in the dead of the night to tell me i am to preside in the meeting this afternoon. i know how, and she knows why it's got to be me. dang! :grr:

done with figures.

preparing for the BS's.

Dear God:

I was told to be prepared for the unexpected. I have been gripped by something i just wasn't prepared for. Please, guide me not to allow any tension at the start of this journey to throw me off kilter.

KL

...

this morning i had hot chocolate and miseries. 'twas way past nine and i was still in bed.

i couldn't stand being at home alone on a workday. so i got up and hit the shower. i put on some clothes combination i wouldn't have worn if it were any ordinary day and i, in an ordinary mood.

and then...

you see, i want it crystal. must only be either: black or white. night or day. ying or yang. rain or shine. now or never.

i guess, i already made that clear saturday night.

had a great massage last night. courtesy of my moduh.

now, i can do anything -- be it vertical or horizontal...

just finished my presentation for the 3 o'clock workshop today.

my back, from my neck down to my spine, hurts.

i'm counting the minutes till the work day is over. damn, fridays!

i'm sorry to have sent you home. i miss you. i will come visit you. will bring you food. scratch your back, your ears, your tummy. tonight.

i really miss Kunot! :cry:

take a walk. go to that coffee shop. buy your latte. eat first before you smoke. cigarettes should be a treat.

and EAT for crying out loud!!!

women fall for ugly men because they give it their best shot... as for guys who look good... yeah, they look good but their ego, the size of uranus!!!    so focus... when you really like the girl... please her... and show the girl you really want her...  :cool:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

not all goodlooking men fall under your description. yung mga lalaking hindi kagwapuhan, wag insecure sa mga lalaking may face value.

saka hindi lang sa mukha nakukuha yun. if you can't have a face, at least have a body to die for... ang dami po kayang gym dyan!

mas nakakainis kung pangit na nga masama pa ugali. yun ang total turn off. :boo:

Dear Authentic A,

Thank you for putting some sense into my head last night. You are quite right, good men do come few and far between and it is crazy to let one slip away.

there are no assurances, just tons of risks. but i agree he could be, might be. and it is a million times worth a try.

it's amazing how we stumble on people like them. like magic. meeting them defies chance and destiny. they are those who make the unworthy ones forgivable, forgettable.

i owe you, lady.

KL

---

you ought to have trusted your instinct. next time, remember what happened here.

you're such a strong, brave girl!

pano mo nagawa yun? you've always been a fixed, stubborn, proud woman. how in the world were you able to hack it? to swallow the bitter pill of pride?

well worth it, huh?

i got up this morning to a different world, nay, to a world i once were a long time ago. a happy one. i thought i'd never see a day in a world like this again.

thank you to past pains for making this day an amazingly extaordinary one.

You've answered my prayers in ways i didn't recognize. I put them aside thinking they weren't meant for me. I almost even returned one to you.

thank you for making me realize the gift was mine before it was too late.

LA,

Thank you for keeping an eye on my monster dog while i was busy with something. The black chocolate and martini did go together quite interestingly well. Thank you. Those jokes about typrewriters were a blast. kinda pointed at my own little stupidity and slow-wittedness.

Thank you for everything which i'm afraid i can't speak about just right here.

KL

---

don't fall. don't fall. please...

Smrtg

Looks like the last non-old-friend to see my place before i move out.

lagot ako sa nagbigay ng martini...

the boredom spell hasn't waned.

my apologies to my boss.

To the Roman God:

I'm glad we're back to normal again. Obviously you didn't take it to heart that I have been a bad host the last time you dropped by my place to visit. Your Martini is still unopened. (Wala pa rin akong corkscrew. Next time, dala ka na rin... )

You appear to be doing well. What with all the girls around you! Just be careful and be safe. Always.

KL

had dinner with a friend in one of the restos along Timog...and then some.

tonight i will be in ortigas.

na maraming hindi marunong gumamit ng ruler. hindi alam pagkakaiba ng inches sa centimeter.

now, it's your turn A. lambast the liars.

Dear Friend,

You want more from him. We've agreed on that already. Last night.

However, this morning I've come to realize it's not good idea to force the issue. As you said, you can't get it out from him. And you won't.

I guess you have to talk to him and put a stop to the routine.

Lastly, I hope you get over the stage you're going through right now. There are so many like them who will disappoint you. Why do you think they're out there? Don't you think they're just as big a disappointment to themselves as they are to other people?

Take it easy. And remember: Men are only boys when they can only brag about their dicks. You gotta see some balls, girl. Funny, but true.

KL

i will be always without doubt.

you don't need to open the door for me in advance. but as you have promised, please, do walk with me every time.

thank you for the opportunity neatly wrapped in chaos.

thank you for the best decision i made in months.

My apologies to those wanting to be near their families, for having decided to get my own place.

My apologies to those hurting as they live away from their folks, for choosing an independent life.

My apologies to those lovers who need to spend a few hundreds to enjoy three hours of privacy, for having rendered my other room just a place for shoes and shoe boxes.

My apologies to those who scrimp for food, for the 3-week old limp veggies and stone-frozen beef patties.

My apologies to those children who yell at their parents for independence, for the familial independence that i enjoy.

My apologies to those who do not have what i have, for now i've decided to give those things up and just live without.

My apologies to those who wish they could get out of their parents' overprotectiveness, for having chosen to go back to my parents' home.

Didn't realize it has been 11 years since we became friends. you got married, bore a son, separated from your husband, fought for your life you almost lost. and i, despite the sad stanzas of your life (your life is a poem, not a prose), would go to lucban to visit.

in lucban, i met your friends who,too, became my friends. i met J--, dated him in Manila as he studied in that school along Taft. (No, the rumor was wrong, we never dated in L--)

it was funny how you connived with the rest into having him and me, gaoled in some place dark and spooky about 5 years ago. you see, nothing happened beyond what i could allow. and you know, oh how well, what my limitations are. and i was sorry to disappoint you and the gang. the alcohol didn't cooperate, because as you know, i never got drunk.

but last night, i met him again -- with his wife. no big deal. she's pretty. and so am i. did i see regret in his eyes? i didn't. because i didn't look -- for fear, i wouldn't see what i expect to see, feel, what i feared, i would.

but again, i'm happy. i'm going back home to my parents. on the fortnight.

---

it was this day when S started bothering you with his messages. begging for the time you couldn't give -- just yet.

if only you could read this as i write, i could have warned you of the hurts S would bring. forget about the bliss, which as you now know would pass.

i could have warned you not to mind him, not to waste your time.

but since you can only read back and not relive, i give you all of life's regrets.

dinner: shrimp, chili and garlic pasta in olive oil. punta ko later sa Don H.