KristinLavransdatr

si kristinlavrans....

 

hello kristin

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hi, ngneer_hk.

sure. mukha naman akong hongkonese eh.

feeling light.

and hungry.

and still a little dizzy.

thank you for 2 days of sickness. at least i was able to rest.

nothing beats being in one's home just sleeping, or trying to.

and it was nice being at my parents' place in laguna -- brought back so many funny, puerile memories...

Dear God:

thank you for all the blessings - known or unknown to me.

just great.

i have no trouble sleeping anymore.

THE BELL JAR by Sylvia Plath.

My heart skipped a beat when i saw a copy at powerbooks saturday night. Been looking for a copy since college, and my! finally.

This novel made plath a feminist icon but the way she portrayed men isn't like the way most feminist writers portray men. she didn't lambast them. she just showed what men are and what they can be.

and her treatment of psychosis is divine.

Did the quake have to come in two short successions?

Kunot was really scared last night. As scared during the one about 3 weeks ago.

I thank you for having him by my side. I didn't mind being his baby sitter during such times. i needed somebody or some pet to think about and to care for when the world rumbles under our feet.

He is growing to be a handsome, handsome creature and i am so proud of him.

Thank you, for his existence.

this morning i found out that my OM has done a mercurial booboo in his department last quarter.

and all i can do is to pick up the pieces and throw them back to him.

oh, how does one get ready for the guillotine?

i feel my world has been picked out from its orbit and thrown into the abyss.

still in shock.

an mtc member showed up at my office!!

not all good things that come my way are the right things for me.

for this, i will always have to face an awful day when i need to tell myself to just let go.

and i will have to live one awful day at a time until finally, my entire being has accepted this realization.

and i need to learn not to hope or to wish that things may just go my way. i have learned early in life not to wish for something i do not have. because if it is meant to be mine, i need not even ask -- nor pray -- specifically for it -- even.

i was truly excited to see you again after 8 months. a lot of things changed in you. your hair makes you look a lot younger. your car finally has a plate number. and this one really blew me away -- man! you are smoking! you've always hated it when i smoked. the thing is i never got to smoke in your presence. what with your threats of walking out. ha! ha! ha! but now you've been caught, grabbed in the throat by those majestic cigarettes. revenge! revenge!

man, i've known you for 3 years and yesterday was the one day i didn't realize would come.

we had a fight. so that's how it is fighting with you, huh? no banging of doors. no expletives. not even a mumble of damnits. just pure, thick silence. then the movie caught our attention. i was laughing. you were laughing. but we were laughing separately.

i was sad when i got home. so i called *n*. she said i got to bring down my pride. but that's all i got, dude. if i give that one up, nothing will be left of me. and you wouldn't like that, would you?

we're still friends, bud. i hope?

thank you for the wisdom from last Sunday's mass.

Do you sleep?

Perhaps i keep you awake with my sleeplessness

while i make excuses for temporary inability.

The blank monitor pages that cries out for markings, and

the selective forgetfulness that remembers

only what needs to be forgotten

conspire to make impossibility that which

could have been an ordinary 10 to 5 sleep.

But do you sleep?

I learned from childhood you had rested

some days after you hit the Enter key.

But just a thought about it,

did you make prototypes before deciding

on that finality?

Didn't you, somehow, make adjustments

when you realized there were bugs

in the system of humanity?

But do you sleep when i can't?

Are you worried when i am?

Do you fall a million minutes before i slip?

Do you see my tomorrow even while i worry

about yesterday?

I know, i know i keep you awake with my sleeplessness.

But don't you really sleep when i can't?

Because if we are both awake the whole night,

we may as well start a project --

I, writing about the FAQs of Man,

and you, rewriting the User's Manual of Life.

to some spa in ortigas.

just found myself last night rereading STORY OF A SOUL.

must have read it more than a dozen times.

that there a lot of nice men around.

and nice girls as well.

but they just don't meet.

and when they do, the other will say, let's just be friends.

some bad boys around??

thank YOU for decorating my path with beautiful people, including those who have left and those who have stayed behind and those just passing by.

1. Goodbye

2. I can only give you friendship.

OUCH!! those got the daylights out of me.

:cry:

Please, take care of him for me, and take care of me for him.

Or just do take care of us both.

so when we decide to stop playing stupid, You may have some rest.

drareg,

it's nice to see you again.

God knows i needed a hug yesterday.

and you just came right on time.

i promise not to delete your number again.

i love you, old pal.

nitsirk

Dear God:

Sana tama ginawa ko. Sana hindi sya tumawag o mag text. Kase na delete ko na number nya.

Ayaw kong tanungin sya ng "who is this?" baka ipa-define niya sa akin ang buhay nya. e hindi ko naman sya talaga kilala. e isa lang naman syang pagkakataon na nangyari ng tama.

Salamat din at tumawag si M. Kase kunti na lang hindi ko na sya kilala.

KL

i realized that men are such an expensive commodity. you pay them with your sleep, your appetite, your sanity. and they won't even text you!!!!

bwiset!!!!!!!

avant que je vous aie laissé partir:

I am seldom asked the question “how did you know?” This, I think, is due to the fact that the people who surround me know the extent of what I can discern. I feel, so I speak. And when I do speak I do not mince my words.

If I am short of facts, I use intuition. But even the tiniest of facts present a mountain of discoveries. And I discovered quite a lot. Don’t ask. I won’t tell.

Dealing with you is like reading a book where the author has no monopoly of its interpretation. The author may say that my interpretation is wrong but that is not for him to say. Particularly so, when I’m reading it the Derrida way. And I just love deconstruction.

besides…

je sais juste.

feeling great. i have just been favored with discernment.