The Mail Box

[chiquezee]

Just this:

 

Every night before I retire to bed, before I let go to frolic in the sands of dreams, I anchor to reality and process everything that slips to my mind.

 

That is the most eerie part of my day, when demons crawl out and ghosts haunt. It is the bloodiest part of my day, when I wield swords with reason and my thoughts bleed with contemplation. It is the most insane part of my day, most surreal, yet most logical, when and where truth, fact, and reality distinguishes themselves from one another. It is the busiest part of my day, when I sift through images and illusions and dissect lies and deceptions. It is the most fulfilling part of my day, where I achieve what I want, I find what I seek. It is the most vulnerable part of my day, where I say what I ought not, do what I must not, decide what I should not....

 

Then I let myself slide to dreams and visions of what ifs, what were, what are and what may be.... In search for peace and rest.

 

In the morning, the golden rays and chirps of birds bring calm. I awake with fresh hope, with new faith, with different sentiments from the night before. It is the other most vulnerable part of my day, where I say what I ought not, do what I must not, decide what I should not....

 

So which must be believed, what I said during the darkest of night, during the most turbulent time, when I exhausted all my faculties? Or what was said in the morning, after alighting from the mirage of sleep, after getting a perceived rest and peace, when I have yet to start the routine of function, and have yet to welcome reason?

 

Even I am confused, most of the time.

 

Tsk.

 

 

 

C.

[CodenameV]

Normally, i try to be quite patient and understanding but there's a limit to how much i can take especially when there are other things that i should be doing. Shouldn't expect other people to be as accomodating and committed as me.

[iwalkalone]

i wish i could tell you exactly what i'm feeling...but this isn't the place. We all have our guards up now. Yes you...the only one who managed to break down these walls...you will always be cherished.

[LoveSpell]

Just a few lines to tell you how I feel,

A few lines to show I care.

But what good will these few lines do

If you are never there?

These words will just be written

Never noticed or read

All my feelings down on paper...

All the thoughts that fill my head.

Whispered softly to myself

So no one else can hear

Only I can see what's written,

Only I can feel my tears.

Shutting out the world around me

Only I can hear my cries,

Writing my feelings down on paper

My heart starts to die.

I'm dying inside

But no one seems to know,

I'm trying to hold on...

But I'm slowly letting go.

 

Edited February 25, 2007 by LoveSpell

[iwalkalone]

Carlos,

sensya na di tayo magkatyempo sa phone...eh kase naman naliligo ako kanina...tas...pag tawag mo busy na?...sorry ha...kase i have to keep myself...busy eh at...sa text...sorry din...wala akong pang reply...oops! wag nyo ko papasahan ng load...! bawal yan...under rehab ako ngayon

Ano?!...some bitch ditched you?...sino yan ha?...hehe..kase naman eh...told you ok lang yan...

at isa pang Ano?!... na isip mo na swerte talaga sa akin si ..._______? ay sows...inde noh...faithful nga ako...pero anlaki naman ng sayad ko...ano mas gusto mo?

ako ang swerte sa kanya...he is the closest thing to perfect...napakabait nya sa akin...lahat lahat na...you know how much i love the guy ...

it's just that...well...it's over...

Pare...wag mo na ako i compare sa iba...nangangaunti na lahi ko...

O pano... wag mo dibdibin yan...wala yanhttp://img359.imageshack.us/img359/5756/toast683as.gif

Edited February 26, 2007 by iwalkalone

[chiquezee]

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

 

 

 

... C

[wyette]

M

 

Ano b kasi ginagawa mo sa buhay mo ha?!

Mag ayos ka nga.

Di ka na bata. Di ka na dapat sinasabihan ng tama at mali. alam mo na dapat ang mga yun.

 

Natuto ka na dati. Bakit mo binalewala mga natutunan mo? Maryosep naman M, matalino ka naman di ba? Mabait ka, oo. Mapagmahal ka, sigurado ako dyan. Pero utang na loob, tulungan mo sarili mo. Walang ibang pwedeng tumulong sayo eh.

 

Tingnan mo ako. Gayahin mo ako. Wag mo lang akong gagalitin.

 

 

Y

[chiquezee]

MD -

 

I'm trusting that by now, you can face any tipping point, point blank. In a couple of months, you shall have to face it alone. Do not let me down then. I defied the second floor for you.

 

- MC

[Grimace]

It was an exhilirating day yesterday, how unfortunate that you felt really tired yesterday. You look as stiff as can be in your clothes and i was only wearing easy. You said your day wasn't honky dory, you were a bit meany and you needed a break, i looked at you, God! how i missed you so...You were too exhausted to notice that i was eager to talk to you! You've noticed my complexion's dark, yep from a race in Bulacan. I didnt put enough sunblock on my face, you can see the traces of the shades i was wearing! godaawful!

Really last night, we made it through, beside your sighing and driving from katmandu to makati was enough to suffice a lovely evening..a short evening playing with the latter's strips of straws from a fruitdrink. I must say everytime i see you, i see a whole new roll of eyes and teasing and whatever..

 

So uh can i ask you a question,when you think of some fantasies in your head, do you eve include me in the picture?

Edited February 28, 2007 by uchisy

[arrow]

Y,

 

I haven’t seen you personally but I feel that I miss you like the sun misses the flowers.

 

A

[Alexandra®]

:heart: MahaL Ko :heart: (A)

 

 

Baby I Love Your Way

 

Shadows grow so long before my eyes

And they're moving across the page

Suddenly the day turns into night

Far away from the city

Well, don't hesitate, 'cause your love won't wait...

 

Ooo, baby, I love your way, everyday

Gonna tell you I love your way, everyday

Wanna be with you night and day

Moon appears to shine and light the skies

With the help of some firefly

Wonder how they have the power to shine

I can see them under the pine

But don't hesitate, 'cause your love won't wait...

 

 

HoN (M)

[iwalkalone]

nasa rehab ako ngayon...bawal ang load...sana maintindihan mo...naguguluhan na talaga ako...pano ba...pano ba???....mahal kita...ayoko na...mahal kita...gusto na kitang kalimutan...mahal kita...mas mabuti pang iwan mo na ko ng tuluyan...mahal kita ...hayaan mo na ko masaktan ng minsanan...mahal na mahal kita....kaya tama na...

[CodenameV]

S,

When i am sleeping, i can imagine you being there with me. However, since you came from Bulacan, i can't find in you in the dark especially with the lights closed.

A

[Grimace]

 

 

what if you find something unattractive of me would you leave me then? there are so many things i want to share to you and that i'm very fond of you i have this feeling that if i get vulnerable,i get burned easily and that i am trying to hold it up for my own good..Dont worry love, im the last person you'd expect to judge other people especially you. I'm not going to leave you on the gutter, its matter of knowing you and how interested i am seeing you again and all the flaws, small or big are just like this thick, irregular scar caused by excessive tissue growth at the site of an incision or wound her otherwise known as the keloid.it will just stay there,( ooh the humanity!! GROSS! hahahahah) Its part of the whole enchalada love, i accept you as you are and that you're the finest guy i've met and i guess i'm happy being your steady date when Ms. Right is not there yet (or is she? )

 

Can't wait to see you again..I may be naughty but i'm a monogamist when it comes to my affairs, i only like one guy and that guy is YOU chere;..inspite of the relentless dance of seduction i play..its You that i wanted noone else

 

 

Now let me continue this dance of love....

 

 

Edited February 28, 2007 by uchisy

[iwalkalone]

p#tang %na mo! impakto kang hayup ka!!!! ambait bait mo sa kin di mo naman pala ako kayang mahalin sa paraan na gusto ko!!!??? Halimaw ka!!! halimaw ka sa bangaaaaah!!!! hindi kita mapapatawad kahit tumuwad ka pa ulangya kaaah!!!! sayo lang ako bumigay hinayupak ka!!! pakyuuuu pakyuuu to da maxxxx!!!! aaaaahhh!!!! kulang pa tong page natoh sa mga mura na gusto kong ibato sayo!!!!...I hate youuuu!!!! di na kita babayaran sa mga utang ko sayooooh!!! kalah mo hah!!!! haaah!!! bahala ka sa buhay mo!!! manigas ka dyaaan!!!! :grr:

[molina]

Missy,

 

However, whenever. I am looking forward to the opportunity. Thank you. You made my day.

 

 

Molina

[iwalkalone]

Sweet Dreams world.......please kiss and embrace me before i close my eyes....i need some love.......................thank you.

[Alexandra®]

:heart: MaHaL Ko :heart: (A)

 

If I had one wish, boy

I'd wish you next to me

And it could be in summer, fall or spring, boy

'Cause you make my heart sing

I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you

Oh baby

'Cause every day I'm not with you

I'm missing you like crazy

I need for you to...

 

I need for you to love me,

hold me, touch me..

Down deep in my soul, and never let it go

Of the love we share, no one compares to you

I'll never let you go 'cause I really love you so

Oh I...

I'll never let you go, oh no

 

If you must know the truth, boy

I'm nothing without you..

 

HoN (M)

Edited March 1, 2007 by Alexandra®

[StoneRhino]

I could hardly believe it

When I heard the news today

I had to come and get it straight from you

They said you were leavin'

Someone swept you heart away

From the look upon your face I see it's true

So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin'

Then tell me one thing more before I go

 

Tell me how am I supposed to live without you

Now that I've been lovin' you so long

How am I supposed to live without you

How am I supposed to carry on

When all that I've been livin' for is gone

 

I didn't come here for cryin'

Didn't come here to breakdown

It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end

An how can I blame you

When I built my world around

The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends

And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming

When even now it's more than I can take

 

And I don't wanna face the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming

Now that your dream has come true

 

See ya when I get there. In about 1 - 2 years, i think. :cry:

[iwalkalone]

Dear shameless,

 

Iba ka talaga...iba ka...ang lakas ng amats mo girl! hahaha! ...nakakahiya ka...tubuan ka naman ng konting hiya...kahit konti lang :upside: ....hahahaha

 

natatawa,

:heart: Iwa

[charmed shannen]

I miss a friend today. But too afraid to make the first move to call... Nakakainis... Nakaka miss

[iwalkalone]

stop telling me what to do...I'm not you!

[G T]

good night.sweet dreams.i will still plant my kisses at the tip of your nose my dearest.

[iwalkalone]

dear owner of the room i visited thrice today

i'm happy for you...you have so many friends to cheer you up....hats off ako sa mga girls na marunong magmahal....di lang puro ka anuhan....sila nakakasira sa pangalan ng lahi natin eh....keep the faith :flowers:

:heart: Iwa

[chiquezee]

Jigs,

 

You never liked me. For you I was the Snow Queen who robbed your kingdom of all warmth and affection. In all the years of indirect competition, you always made it a point to strive to achieve more than I did. Maybe you did not succeed then, for how can you compete with me when I had everything you wanted at that time? I had the undeniable upper hand. Favor was with me. Honestly though, with your stone-cold heart, you were more ice than I was. Frozen cold. I actually tried melting you with my ---ness that no body can ignore. Nobody but you. You did not just not like me, you hated me. Without even taking the time to get to know me, you despised me. Years later, I understood why.

 

I was very young then, 19?, as you kept pointing out, though I am proud to say, not immature. You told me that so much is ahead of me and that I was ruining my life by braving the situation. I hated that word, situation, and it makes me cringe until now. Not as much, but still. Well, I did brave it and I came out victorious in many aspects, if not all.

 

But years have passed and the triumphs that I may have tried to preserve then are but memories to me now. Lessons learned. Crucibles endured. I emerged strong. Thats the greatest victory I still hold dear now.

 

Today, for some reason, I felt the urge to Google your name. Its been a while since I uttered it, feeling the bitterness of poison even in your name that, curiously, shares the same meaning as mine. I knew I was gonna find a considerable amount of material to give me an idea how you are doing. Not because I cared, with affection, for I doubt if I can ever like you either, but only to quell the curiosity as I face the crossroads I am facing now. I was wondering if you have reached the pinnacle of your career.

 

I heard, from a very reliable source, that once again, for reasons I dared not ask, your misfortune in love and happiness struck again. He left you, like every other guy who couldn't stand your alpha-female syndrome. And I said to myself, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Me, and my alpha-female syndrome... I have had my own share of holy mess, and I am proud to say I have come out of them still whole. Broken, maybe, but whole. I wonder about you.

 

Google did you justice. You may be delighted to know that reading through the list bruised me. If you should know, that didn't bring you a step ahead, for I shall use that to further my cause. I shall use you, albeit for a fraction of a second, to catapult me to where I want to be.

 

Damn, I do hate you just as much as everybody else. For a different reason.

 

I knew I was gonna find the title on the international release. I knew I was gonna find the title for the national release. What I didn't expect was to find the material you edited for an organization that I wanted so much to join but never had the chance because I am f*cking tied to multiple projects at one time, where I am. That was what bruised me.

 

And once again, you became a fixture in my life, even for just that brief moment. You are again one to contend with. If I won before, by a mile, I have to make sure I win now, by ten thousand... But as I see it, you had a head start. If only for that, I congratulate you.

 

It is uncanny that we are never in the one country at the same time. We miss each other by a couple of days. So much so that I feel like I am in the Amazing Race competing with you, though you, of course, have a different agenda, always. Although there was one time, when your part of the world merged with my part of the world and we found ourselves in one room, serving different masters who were scratching each others' backs... I saw how you thirsted for my blood...

 

I don't think you'll ever get to like me. Especially if you find out that I have actually edged over you in some unforgivable aspects. And I will never like you, no matter what. After all, we weren't commanded to LIKE each other... But even if it makes me shiver inside to even think about the things you have done before to secure my downfall, I will think of them, and my latest find, and use them to push me to achieve what even you have not.

 

I want to be that strong gust of wind that hits your face when you step out into the snow. Yes, I am Snow Queen to you. I will make sure you know.

 

For now, gratitude are in order. You are making me a stronger woman, once again, but this time, without you knowing it. Or maybe you do... I actually felt you sneering at me with every letter of the discourse...

 

Tactics. Strategy. Mission. Vision. Guts. Glory.

 

For now, you are ahead. In a couple of years, I shall look behind me and find you somewhere, like a speck of dust I can faintly recognize... It can be done. It will be done. I will do it.

 

 

 

 

C.