The Mail Box

[iwalkalone]

virtual friend BB

 

sana po maging maayos ang pakikipag break mo sa kanya...like i said...a man's got to do what he's gotta do...sometimes we just have to do away with our guilt and conscience...and yeah...be selfish at times...kesa maging miserable ang buhay sa piling ng di naman totoong mahal....the truth will set you both free... sana lang matanggap nya...at wag ka nyang ipa salvage

[StoneRhino]

Dear Heart of Mine,

 

I know that one-forth of you has become bigger that the other 3, and that sometimes you try to let me know by making me feel like a corkscrew's twisting its way into my left chest area.

 

Please be assured that I will do everything I can to make sure that the strain I place upon you and your 3 other companions will be lessened as I will reduce my intake of quarter-pounders and milkshakes. I will also make sure you guys are in shape by waking up early and jogging 20 miles like I used to.

 

Just don't k*ll me while I'm in the prime of my life.

 

kthnxbye.

[Wyld]

 

Kumusta ka na kaya? Wala lang. Nakakamiss ka kasi eh. Siguro nakasanayan ko na lang din na kaparte ka na ng araw ko. Routine baga. Teka, is that good or bad? I wonder.

 

At any rate, di naman yun ang reason bakit kita sinusulatan now eh. Labo nga. Susulatan kita, alam ko naman na hindi mo mababasa. Pero sige lang. Siguro at some point, ipapabasa ko din sa iyo to. Siguro. Ewan natin.

 

Ang hirap ng may tanong na walang sagot no? Parang ... I keep on running over the events of the past days in my head... trying to understand what happened. Siguro nga ang nangyari ay nangyari noong wala ka na dito. Kaya siguro di ko maintindihan. Pero you know me, you know how my mind works... kasi ganyan din ang takbo ng utak mo eh. Iisipin at iisipin ko na may ginawa akong mali. Yan ang malaking fault nating mga Taurus. Kunyari strong-strongan pero we take a lot of things to heart.

 

Anyway. I hope okay ka lang. I hope di mo masyadong dinidibdib ang pagpapaka ermitanyo mo. I know madami kang new challenges at new responsibilities at work - focus on that and harness that to help you resolve whatever it is you need to resolve. I also hope youre working out responsibly and eating on time. Wag ka na kakain ng mga damo damo parati ha. Saka yun mga grains chuva na yan - masama sa kalusugan yan.

 

Ano pa ba. Ah eto. Just something I picked up somewhere. When I read it, I remembered you.

 

No self respecting person moves on undefined.

 

Diba totoo? Sa lahat ng pagdaraanan natin sa buhay - may mababago sa atin. Sana for the better. Sana whatever it is we go through serves to make us stronger people rather than bring us down.

 

Gaya ng sinabi natin the last time we talked... andito lang ako. Andyan ka din lang.

 

Maybe at some point, our paths will converge again... hopefully, under better circumstances.

 

Who knows what tomorrow brings, diba?

 

Stay warm. Forge on.

 

Youre in my thoughts and prayers always.

 

-N

[naked_angel]

crack psychiatrist,

 

"do you really, really, really, like him?"

"does he like you as much as YOU do?"

 

too much koreanovela, man. too much

 

useless, weird nutcase patient,

 

m.a.

[iwalkalone]

Star,

 

That’s enough (2x)

Please…

 

I’ve said this a million times before

And i’m sick

But all that i need

And all that i bleed

And all that i care for

Is you

 

And all that i need

And all that i bleed

And all that i care for

Is you

 

I HATE YOU.

(But I love you)...

and Thank you....

OMG ano vah toh?! :cry:

 

Hawak kamay na nga lang :cry:

:heart: mayatutay

[naked_angel]

you,

 

i'm going away for a while. will most likely be incommunicado.

write me from the secret garden, if you have time.

so you think we have a shot at being friends ?

 

oh and don't worry, one day, she will dance with you.

in the meantime, barry manilow is waiting for me. what better way to spend saturday eh?

 

same tears in the same martini glass. cheers!

 

 

wishing for a time machine,

 

me

 

 

 

no sé si ir o quedar en este momento. a decir verdad, te echo de menos. increíble eh? espero que tu se divierta y que le vaya bien

[sweet vixen]

To you who I shall refer to as Temüjin:

 

You are not yet a Genghis Khan, though I do believe you have the makings of one. I see you conquering far more than lands which have boundaries anyway, becoming more than a political and army leader, uniting tribes and etching your name in history. There is so much potential in you I don't even know why I never gave you an inch of myself. Maybe because your sole duty at this time is to keep an eye on me, and thus, I cannot allow myself to give you an eye at all.

 

I cannot say I owe you anything even if my life pressumably rests on how well you will take a bullet for me. You did teach me how to hold a gun, to aim without missing, to shoot without wincing, but the ability to do it very well was my skill and mine alone. That, you cannot teach me.

 

I humbly admit, though, that you have taught me far more with what you did not intend to teach, the stories you unselfishly shared during moments of idle business.

 

The Infantry Battalions that I joined not just to watch but to share agony with, though their agony will never be truly mine, which is most pathetic come to think of it, will remind me of how you had to go through unnerving obstacles yourself, to get to where you are. And "where" is tailing me where I go, retreating as a shadow, never revealing emotions, never speaking your mind, unless it is requested, or necessary as the moment is a matter of life or death. I pity you but your family takes pride in you. What are my sentiments compared to theirs?

 

Three years of putting up with my extreme swings, graciously accpepting the consequence of my stubborness, attempting to see but not see, straining to hear but forget, ought to give you the motivation to skip martyrdom and pursue heroism instead.

 

I appreciate the loyalty, though it is out of moral duty and conscience than anything.

 

Today, as I feel the extreme and intense pressure, I wished I was in a shooting range, firing off my feverish angst, target the anxieties, get rid of perpetrators of my peace and just get it over with. Then I remembered what you said, to never use it in moments of uncertain control, those moments where something else is taking command, aside from my senses and reason.

 

I do feel you should be reassigned. You deserve far more than what you get out of your dedication to me, or should I say, your assignment. It is not because I do not think I am not worthy of somebody with your calibre, Captain. Its just that the nation can get so much more from you and I feel I am robbing so many of something valuable. It does not feel right.

 

 

We must talk about it really soon. Robins must fly, bats, too.

 

 

I sign this with my own hand.

[sweet vixen]

To you who I shall refer to as Napoleon:

 

Ah, darling, sweetheart, lover of mine of ages long ago. Nobody ever thought that Napoleaon Bonaparte who was well respected for his creative use of artillery tactics in the field he is much of an expert in knew how to compose love letters written with blood, and dripping of sucrouse.

 

It is about time we sit down and talk about what everybody has been talking about, save for us, two. Funny how they openly discuss something that was never a public knowledge until it was over.

 

I feel you deserve the longest communication but I am stumped. Where do I begin, when I do not even know how it ended? May I rumble off thought after thought, instead, since you need no translation to comprehend? A syllable means so much, it always does, and that we both know..

 

Darling of ages forgotten, I can write this in the language often thought of as reserved for sophisticated eroticism but I choose to display the emotions in plain English. It is, shall I say, a reiteration that the French has turned over the liberty and she remains within reach of the apple that Eve holds.

 

Do not think for a while that I am groping for the right things to say. I know what I want to say, but currently requiring some snooze to find out exactly how..........

 

As you have often left me waiting before, it is my turn to hang you by a thread. For now.

 

Not even signing this yet --

[sweet vixen]

The year started to wheel out without me, days turning to a week, leaving me behind for a couple of hours, as I adjust to the fast ticking of time, quicker than I thought it will be. I was catching a nap. I thought I deserved some since I work extremely hard. For the most part, I was engrossed in fulfilling my duties that I forgot to salute the turn of events. Did not even notice the transition until I was correcting myself, erasing the 6, replacing it with the numeral I am fond of most. But that is completely out of sync.

 

Before the pig oinks, I would like to do my share of spring cleaning to attempt to end/start the year right. What best way than to sort things out with the very (in?)significant and (in?)famous Adams that dared share an apple with this Eve? (Yes, fool, it was not an apple. How about a santol, for local flavor?)

 

To you, who I shall refer to as Socrates. Let me begin with you.

 

Even Plato thought you were a contradictory character. For your benefit, I am writing to you through this, so you will not know it is I, and you will not know it is you, though the talent you have may actually make you wonder, ponder and attempt to conclude that it may be you. No, deceive yourself and believe it isn't. For my benefit, I am writing through this so I may freely express my thoughts without limiting myself, which I have often done, and so you will not think I am expertly fabricating geniuses to comply with expectations. I try to please no one except those I want to please. At this point, myself.

 

Dear Socrates,

 

You have served many an army. Perhaps, even more than three campaigns (at Potidaea, Amphipolis, and Delium.) You faced your battles head on, no doubt, likening yourself to soldiers who fight for causes greater than their own breaths. You do not believe in retreating for self-interest, but of moving forward without a thought of ditching, but embracing the ultimate inevitable of spilling blood to fertilize the parched ground. Yet, you think of preservation, a wise act, to say the least, in order for you to philosophise more, conquer more, k*ll more.

 

Your paradoxical wisdom has interestingly crippled me, I who have made a name for myself in the circles I revolve in. I find myself holding my tongue, an act I never thought I will do for any one save for a handful, and at, and only at the most proper time.

 

It is true that I have been holding the real me in reserve, choosing to remain anonymous beyond the basic knowledge of name and those which accompany formal social acknowledgement. It was not intentional, rather instinctical. I can try to explain further and make you understand but that may be unnecessary for you since you will digest it differently until I finally decide to tear the curtains from top to bottom. I shall not wait for an earthquake to part the tomb, that rock will roll on its own.

 

You make me stop right in my tracks, not because I want to turn back and take a different route, nor because I find myself lost and unable to find my way, rather to think and appreciate everything you throw at me; mentally archiving the details, processing on-the-spot, and re-processing at a later time. I try to identify the spirits that govern the thought expressed in a statement, the memories behind a narration, the academics behind the knowledge. The defenses you put up, the walls of refuge, the blind areas, the Achilles’ heel. To my determent, for some part, but for my gain, too, for the rest.

 

Perhaps, I have created an image so unlike me that I will not be surprised if you will sketch one totally different, from the shape, to the parameters, to the depth and texture.

 

What I am surprised about is the deliberate willingness on my part to be conceived as but a fragment, and not as my whole. Maybe I allowed you to think what you want, having given me an idea of the convenience of this humongous error. A great warrior never reveals strategies so I won't, but let me chip off some particles that will be enough to scrutinize under the microscope of your established philosophies.

 

Socrates, my humanity is at its truest form, and my nobility intact, without a question in my mind. I can feign ignorance when I want to to achieve a greater goal of extracting wisdom from others, always consciously segregating, always compartmentalising, aiming to see how much can be extracted, and not reveal the extent of the spoil gathered. I can feign weakness when necessary, to gauge the strength of another, how much is adrenalin, how much is muscles, how much is steroids at work. Not to deceive, no, but to learn, to study, to know, and in so doing, the next moves will be concrete, definite, and the steps, certain. Maybe it is wrong to regard it as strategy for strategy speaks of meticulous planning, whereas these things are mere muscle jerks which I hope to refine as I mature more. I am very young, as you can see.

 

My tortured past is something I have not shared. How do I begin telling without opening Pandora's box? How do I explain the attitude without compromising integrity? How do I describe the essential years without exposing what was intended to be forgotten?

 

My mapped out future is something I have kept to myself. How do I explain prophecies and dreams and visions that have already established the path that I must take, which I will not fail to take for I was born for such a purpose? How do I justify decisions that intellect cannot reach?

 

Socrates, when I am silent, it does not mean I cannot speak, nor ignorant of what is to be uttered. Nor should it be taken as a sign of weakness. It is actually when one begins to listen to others, and to self, that the thinking capabilities work better. Or, in my part, it is may be often times, a confirmation of what I already know which merits some moment of silence as an acknowledgement. My silence is also a pause to appreciate the magnificent realisation I have been trying to prove to myself all these years. And only I will know what that is, but, surely, it is enough to make me hold my tongue and whisper gratitude to whoever can hear between unspoken thoughts.

 

I will not tell you about the extent of the domain that I own and rule. Such revelations are reserved for those who must know, and even then, only at an appointed time.

 

Truth lies beneath the shadows of existence, and it is the job of the one bestowed with it to show the rest how little they really know.

 

So much is left unsaid, still.

 

I sign this with my own hand.

[chiquezee]

Yes, V, I speak to you.

 

My hands are slightly swollen from the hard slap I plastered on your ego. It feels good. I told you I'll posion you, ever so slowly, while you keep coming back for more. I told you I was a couple of steps ahead, positioning myself to a comfortabe lead, watching you wag your tongue as you beat the time to feel the plaster on your chest, with every muscle straining to beat the abyss out of me. Told you you'd fall flat on your face. What I didn't tell you, for even I was not aware, that it will be this soon. Normally, some take a couple of moons yet. You wasted no time and fell in to the bitter snare. You saved me a good couple of tic-tocs. Ahh, such is life for some miserable losers.

 

I infest your waking moments, while you can do nothing but grind your teeth, locked up in the darkest chambers of your unexplored pentagons. Hmm, should I visit you and gaze at your pitiful sight, curled up as a though you have exhausted every place to hide but couldn't think of any but your mother's womb? Nah. I shall spare you the cruelty. You know I can bear to do no such thing. I only whip the chains on those who have chains to try to whip me with, too. To strike a helpless, weaponless gladiator is classic cowardice of which I have none.

 

Now, V, that you have failed the ultimate test, do you dare cross my path again? I shall devour whatever is left of your pathetic, maggot infested soul.

 

No, 18 heads remain. Damn you. You cannot sabotage all my hard work for your personal gain. f#&k you.

 

In a couple of days, iron will be forged as I will stand from a distance to take in all the pleasure of watching silversmiths hammer on anvils, embers sparking, fire igniting. I am satisfied. You, will partake of none.

Edited January 7, 2007 by chiquezee

[sweet vixen]

My Dearest Napoleon,

 

Let me write to you without the inspiration of Jane Austen. After all, we know each other too well to be conscious of maintaining impressions. Let me scribble to you intelligent doodles instead, as I have always done before, without the need for words or images, but of lines and dots that always come out significant, anyhow.

 

This is a historic moment, for I shall speak of hidden truths whose question of veracity caused disturbances of cosmic proportions. A thousand and one breaths after the stench has shifted from the rotten dark allies of Quipao to the chaotic, piss-drenched pavements of Manhattan, here I am, about to come out with the archives I have so faithfully kept. It is difficult for me to not be faithful. It is a curse I willingly accepted when I learned the agonizing truth that I am such and can never be something less than too much.

 

Truth is, I could have fought for my then-occuppied slot. I could have hanged on and conquered territories with you. I could have led the army alongside you, as you always asked me to, and command with grace, as you command with fierce dedication and severe courage. You always loved the contrast between us, and appreciated that though our approaches are different, we always end up with more or less the same number of bows and arrows. You claimed it was a perfect balance for two pillars to sustain the entire structure. The essence why the Almight in His supreme wisdom created man, male and female. Frankness and Subtlety. Scowls and Smiles. Brutality and Diplomacy. Masculinity and Finesse. Both lethal. Both fatal. Perfectly brought together to imprison and free. Why didn't I join you as you pushed for the vision you have been brought up to accomplish? Why didn't I honor your petition to wait by the gates until I see the sergeant running with the news that I was to hear?

 

Truth is, it was not a simple decision to arrive at. You father held his chest when I declined. And your grandfathers before you could have tossed in their graves at the Libingan ng mga Bayani, for all I know. My ancestors may have hovered over the Great Wall looking for a step to start the fall from, hoping they'd break their non-existent necks. I disappointed the conquest we carefully mapped out. For that I am terribly sorry. Yet, I rgeret not.

 

Today, as we are once again given the chance to exchange monos that only those of our mertle can decode, I disappoint you, yet again, with the confession that I have actually decided to take a different approach, but still the same, unfortunately. Darling of centuries old, I cannot be conformed to any one's expectations. It is a natural reaction of my being to try to struggle and break free and go the opposite direction.

 

I am extremely proud of the feathers you adorned your hat with. One day I shall find myself where you are and I will have to bow and kiss the ground you walk on. No one can surpass you. But I make the same decision as I did before. May your father forgive me but I refuse to be confined to the role you wish me to play. I refuse to utter another s'il vous plait over supper of wine and silverwares. I shall wear my suit with dignity, even if I do not bear your name.

 

I know we are going the same direction. We shall see each other there in the years to come. By then you would have gained for yourself a few spots in bookshelves. From electronic pages to papyrus, your name shall be found and recognized for the contribution of making the country deserving of a name other than that derived from a foreign king. You would have won stripes and honored with keys from Amsterdam, to Brussels, to Cairo, to Jerusalem, to Venice. You would have soiled your boots and even your hand, and you will not wipe them off but show your children the pride of treading dangerous soils and quicksands, daring even the salt to freeze the fire.

 

Truth is, I would have loved to be there with you. I know I shall, by that time, have made my mark in the field we have been talking about since a decade ago. I would have earned a seal for myself, honored with hanging insignias, for having created the revolution I would have started right about now. (That is on its way, let me assure you, after being put on hold to make time for the greater task of ensuring that we do our responsibility to the world.)

 

Now, here we are, spared just a brief moment to reconnect but not rekindle. To talk, but not speak.

 

I am sorry. I cannot. We both wish to do this well. We both want the revolution. We will get there, though separately. On the way, we may swerve, change roads, alter maps. We may find ourselves together at some crossroads, in the same battlefield. But as with today, we must go our separate ways and see each other when the appointed time comes. I cannot distract you. You cannot distract me.

 

On a lighter note, may I inform you that I am subjecting myself to some humbling exercise of trying to be a little less than myself in order for me to die and pick myself up again. Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, it will not grow to its fullest potential. Let me do this. I share spare you the details for I know you will, again, disagree. Thing is, I do not really care of what the other thinks for I am cemented in my security. I know myself and misconceptions cannot shatter my trust in what I know. My faith moves mountains, remember? You have seen that.

 

I shall write you again, when I can, before the day you fly back to where you shall continue to lay the scaffolds for the structure you shall erect (which I was to be a part of, but no more.) Let me assure you that I have already laid the foundation of the structure I carefully engineered. The blue print is still where we left it. Hidden until the time it must be revealed.

 

Regards to your great father. I read about him all the time. His garndchildren will be prud of him, as you are.

 

I remain proud of you.

 

 

I sign this with my own hand.

[LostCommand]

(On this hour, on this day. Re-issuing)

Edited January 21, 2007 by LostCommand

[chipmaker]

oi!

 

kung may problema kayong dalawa, o tatlo, o kung ilan man kayo, wag nyo na kong idamay.

 

nananahimik na ko dito.

Edited January 8, 2007 by chipmaker

[Wyld]

 

You. Yep you.

 

If you dont want to get burnt, singed or marked in any way by events that are happening to ME... then butt out.

 

Butting out means not taking sides.

 

Butting out means just that - no involvement. No judgment calls.

 

N O T H I N G.

 

Get that?

 

Yuure still doing it ... saying one thing and doing another.

 

Perhaps it would help to get real.

 

For a change.

 

-W

[chipmaker]

they say assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

 

funny... the only ass i see around here is you!

 

Edited January 9, 2007 by chipmaker

[Wyld]

GROW UP.

 

You always start things but .... lose steam just when things get interesting...

 

They say bailing out is the mark of a ...

 

Oh well whatever.

 

[chipmaker]

talaga lang ha...

[Wyld]

It comes full circle. A little earlier than scheduled.

 

They say its best to turn the other cheek. Thats what im going to do henceforth.

 

Ive finally discerned that how I saw you at the start was all along, correct.

 

Im sure in your heart and mind you know what I mean.

 

Finito.

 

[chiquezee]

Hey. The smell of antiseptic irritates my nose. Just thought you guys there should know.

 

Your lengthy message brought relief.

Your lengthy message also brought disappointment.

 

I was starting to think you were somehow trying to get lost. The question you raised shows that you were actually performing well, in my absence, and doing what I will had I been there. But, dearie, when you bring a problem to me, you should offer me your suggested solutions, too, so that first, you get to show me that you are indeed weighing the situation with proper judgement; second, so you can harness your capability to see predicaments through all available perspectives; and third, so you'd be able to act on these judgements with confidence because you yourself scrutinized the aorta of the heart. In the process, you sharpen your discernment, weighing matters objectively becomes an instinct and hopefully soon, you don’t need to ask me what to do but gain my trust that when you decide, I shall find confidence in your decision, and hear a report from you, rather than a query. Do not come to me without a solution again. You know I ALWAYS listen. Later on, I expect you to never come to me with a problem that you yourself can fix.

 

In a couple of months, I shall be traversing where, perhaps, you will deem too precarious. I will have to act on sheer impulse, coupled with better judgement, and of course, with guidance from a mentor whom I trust with my life. What I will do should not be seen as a haphazard reaction to circumstances. I have planned this long before. The timing just never seemed fit. Now, it is. I do not see the need for me to explain to you what I have in my mind, but I am bringing this up so you will be prepared.

 

Get out of your comfort zone, for how will you learn if you are sheltered in the confines of catenated cushions? Be your own and make your own paths. Make your own crossroads if that will help you exercise your judgment and deciding powers. Just do not forget to leave no dust behind, except those that you intend others to bite.

 

I see so much of Carlos in you that I know you'll go far. And since I have taken his place after his demise, I have the privilege of extracting from you what he extracted form me. But no, I do not see myself in you. Be that as it may, I still believe in my judgement that you will be able to breeze through this as I did before.

 

Remember that in our world which other people only perceive but never really fully grasp, within the chambers of hushed silence and denied facts, perfection is a must, but excellence is tolerated. And that is the only thing we tolerate. There is no room for mistakes, but there is always an allowance for improvement.

 

Sciolism will gain you a few steps and then none. You need to equip yourself with what is tangible and, if I may, what will explode when tampered with. We cannot accept duds. Keep what you know to yourself until the proper time of revelation because the privileged information we have are not for the consumption of the weak at heart, the ignorant, the coward, the passive, the apathetic, the pretentious assholes, and traitors. And the people that are chosen to receive the knowledge bestowed on us are hard to find.

 

Do not mind nor be affected by what others perceive of you but before that, you have to know yourself in order to gain a foothold of the camp. Then you can be firm in what you know and not be swayed by misconceptions, deceptions and ignorant insults. What they know or don't know will not change a fact. The fact is in your hands. The truth, you have to continue searching for. It is not yet within your grasp though I know you will get there. Be prepared so that the clay jar will not break upon the puring of new wine.

 

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;

many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

 

- Mme. C

[transcience]

redemption is a word that has no meaning here. try as much as you want but your efforts will come to naught.

[Wyld]

 

Pretty words

All tied up in strings.

They look good

They sound good

 

Pretty words

All tied up in strings.

Does it have depth?

Does it have substance?

 

Pretty words

All tied up in strings.

Pretty words

All tied up in strings.

 

[chipmaker]

i didn't see that one coming.

 

if silence is all the response you're getting from me now, it's because i'm overwhelmed by the praise that i'm getting. we both know how this thing we're doing has been compared to what the US in doing in Iraq. we came in strong and hard; deposed the top guys and installed our own; got our people in and had them stay there 24/7. we patrol the lighted hallways like troops would in the middle of a baghdad neighborhood. pen and paper served as our weapons, conference rooms transformed into battlegrounds and spoken words as thick as bullets come flying in from both sides. and yet people still see what we've done as unfinished work. what you had for me was unexpected. totally unexpected.

 

i have nothing to say except for "maraming salamat".

[LostCommand]

Today, we close our books on the project. Rearguard maneuvers have all been fought and well, over the holidays, and are now completed. Official announcement to come out very soon. A great what-may-have-been, aborted in the womb. Now, this eagle exists only in our computer archives. Every bone, feather, and muscle complete in intense mathematical detail, but now forever consigned to be an immaterial electronic dream, never to take material substance, never to soar. We have lost this battle.

 

But we continue to fight the war. For we know no other existence.

 

Now tougher, smarter, faster, knowing of more styles, capable of assault from several new angles, and ever colder, we move on.

 

We leave this one behind. We had truly tried, as trained professionals top of our fields. But now, we leave this one behind.

 

There are other battles to be fought, in other countries, in other worlds.

 

We, of ourselves, are not finished of war.

 

Not today, at least.

 

We shall meet again.

 

LC

[LostCommand]

I saw the press release. Potah, how bland.

 

We just killed off a lot of dreams today. Can you word it better?

 

I'm drinking. 6 PM pronto. On top of the towers. Sunset.

 

Don't dare call me.

 

LC

[molina]

Dear Fellow,

 

Had I been more pathetic, I would claim I'm being seduced by your writing. I am more educated than that, though, even if I sometimes pretend to be among the half-bred because I have to. Politics is a world of pretense and I have a feeling you understand.

 

If I can suggest to the administrator, I'd say you should get a distinction. And to sound legitimate, I'd say you and this other guy who bleeds. The two of you, yes, who seem to be the only two at par, but what do I care about someone who wears the same jeans as I do?

 

But you, ah yes, you fine woman of unquestionable talent that appears to draw her thoughts from the deepest sanctum. Your writing tears me apart. Me and a host of other men who await your post after post. Men who feel a tiny bit of emptiness when they leave the board without catching a glimpse of your mind and heart.

 

You write beautifully. You write like someone who goes beyond boxes of formal training. Words spiraling, cascading, flowing. With so much emotion. Yet, you play with color expertly. Deciding to be subdued and calm in one, or fierce or even dispassionate the next. Such discipline I have not seen in many.

 

Do you mind if I say these without the usual flavor of propriety? I would think that a woman of your stature will be open-minded, being used to the drools of men who follow her every step, listen to her every word, strain to see her every move. You can dismiss me and I will not wince, after all, we are under the protection of anonymity. I will not care. Although I will appreciate it if you will spare a moment to give this trying-hard writer, but very good leader, some notice. Forgive the arrogance. I sometimes cannot help but speak the truth. We technicals can go for nothing but, although I appreciate the flavor of your art.

 

I cannot write as well as you, since I am more technically inclined than anything but I do know how to put my thoughts into words, if that is enough. I do not write with as much tremor as the other magnificent writer here but I do have the same ideas as he does, perhaps even experience, or more, if that will be acceptable. Not that I know your preferences in life, but being the rational man that I am, I can surmise that you go for no one less.

 

Is this ok?

 

 

- Molina