The Mail Box

[Larry]

I won't allow you to hurt me

 

I won't

 

I will not be hurt

 

I refuse to

 

I'm stronger than you

 

Believe it

[LostCommand]

Kasama,

 

Now temporarily stripped, with no guns and with no bodyguards, we see you undergo your highest, hardest, test to date. You still have everything else; land, money, friends, intelligence, health, name, respect. It is just that right now, there are no guns that you may hold. It is a real test, such a hard test, old old friend. How can one influence, how can you survive, without guns in hand, you ask?

 

I never had guns in sight (at least in daytime), in all of my travels in the countryside, never, just the company of friends and allies; too well trained to rely purely on what can be suddenly taken away. Our indolent enemies knew mass retribution would come, sooner or later, had they tried anything in sight of others. So now, today, you will risk your balls too, on that sort of simple gamble? The wet feeling at the back of your neck, the hair on your arms standing on end, the strained smile, the shots in the air as the other side tries to scare you, your completely controlled disdain, not even looking their way? Knowing the breakpoint when further advance means death dead certain, and then retreating accordingly, but not one minute before? At the end of the day, that intense relief at another gamble won? Imagine taking the highest risk material gamble you can visualise, multiply by ten, and then you understand the intense rush of gambling with your life, with no safety net, with no back-up chute, and surviving. That awesome crystal certainty that for a moment, you are immortal, untouchable, feeling no fear, doing no wrong, and totally free; alike even the gods themselves.

 

After that, you would plan, work, live, breathe, and f#&k like it's your birthday everyday.

 

At some point, you will also realise, there may not be another birthday for you. Are you ready for that too? Sabagay, may anak kana, meron ka nang pamalit.

 

Suddenly, you have no more patience for menial crap, the petty games, and the popular diversions. The normal world is too unexciting all of a sudden huh? And the confessional, yes the confessional, becomes such an irresistable beacon for you. And at the same time, you also develop that sure, absolute dead certain knowledge that you will k*ll, repeatedly, once your control and patience snaps. Guns or no, you retain that power over life and death of others.

 

Are you ready? You and me, side by side, equal height equal frame, from a distance equal looks, except for the eyes, hair, and age, both onstage in 2007, and unarmed. Sweat running in rivers down our balls, as we attempt to speak extemporaneously, ready to wet our pants and leap down the podium at the first shot, eyes darting about as we talk, at sudden movements, at shadows. Walking up and down from the stage in slow swaggering strides.

 

Let's check you out. Gaano ka kabilib sa sarili mo? Let's see if the fates mean to strike you down today. Lets see if you are meant to be, if history favours you live. Let's face destruction by the whims of destiny; you do believe in destiny, my friend?

 

Let's watch you do magic, knowing that if the tricks should fail, you will die. That knowledge makes you more sure, or else makes your nerves betray you. Let's watch you test heaven's patience, see if they will let you be, if they will not instead be done with you and k*ll you.

 

In your apparent midnight of despair, imagined or real enemies pressing about and with no guns in your hands, only let me remind you, again, from 4,000 km away, for all its worth; "that which does not k*ll me, will make me stronger "

 

You will now understand the true message of that long dead philosopher.

 

I openly carried guns only when going to bed. You can guess that which I feared the most.

 

A. Paz-Benitez III

Edited December 3, 2006 by LostCommand

[LostCommand]

Sis,

 

Don't give me that argument. We have enough plain f#&ks doing their national duty to buoy the economy by burning their money. 'tis natural, anyway. Don't use that excuse to make this year-end bash bigger than usual - tis just another year gone, the usual achevements. Keep the pockets full sis, let the other poor guy spend for his country.

 

We don't have to practice all that we preach - just enough to look convincing.

 

LC

[chiquezee]

C-

 

Its been a long day. As usual, I have been preoccupied with matters that are too great for my mortal hands. As I go through the motions of securing the fate of a million and one across borders, you slipped in my mind for quite a few times. Such a distraction.

 

At the back of my mind, while I hurry through the day to make the most of the 24-hours allotment, I can hear you tell me that line from The Godfather you often throw at me : Your life is what you make it. WitH the familiar mutter of profanity and slight chuckle. Of course, your philosophy has truth in it but I can only sigh when I recall the harder truth you slam me with everytime you hear me narrate the agony of selflessness. "Its a thankless job and you know it. Ikaw e."

 

Right.

 

Another day is over, and another yet to begin. I am still here, working my ass of, for something I believe in. Its a thankless job, I know. But I am not complaining.

 

- C

[LostCommand]

Words, fencing, and all, and I said yes I wanted to see you, our mutual friend notwithstanding. I guess I had no patience for verbal foreplay, and for such well delimited and defined objectives, and so it is now only what-may-have-beens and all.

 

so be it, for now

 

LC

[chiquezee]

U,

 

I have been waiting, and I am not sure if you are aware. But do come soon...

 

I am vulnerable at the moment, the fatigue draining my reason and all, but I am keeping myself intact with enough sanity to be fully awake when the moment comes. I don't want to miss it, and regret the loss.

 

Have you walked on by, I wonder.

 

As it is ,there are twinges of shouldn't haves nudging my mind.

 

Pass by, please...

 

C.

[simon b]

tis' the season for wishing...

 

dear pretty one,

 

i wish that was me you've got a crush on.

far fetched but wishing just the same...

 

me

[preacher]

-L-

 

It rained so hard at my place yesterday afternoon. I was outside installing some cables, thank goodness none were live. The first drop hit my skin and a thousand visions suddenly came into my head. All the exchanges we had over the months. Most vividly, I saw the recent exchanges and it sent fire curdling through my veins. I see the heat of the moment. I feel the patter on my palms. The sweltering furnace contrasted by the gust the rain carried with it. I smiled despite of myself, despite the tremble of my hands. All that, I thought, was a gush from the skies in it's extatic state. Right at the point where it lets you see a glimpse of heaven.

 

 

-J-

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Ate R,

 

Thanks for the chat we had earlier.

 

Yes, you're right.

 

I might not be meant for here.

 

Anyway, have already downloaded some application forms. Will look into it.

 

Hope we're ALL hoping and praying for what's best.

 

Am spent ... financially, emotionally and physically.

 

A

[spongebobby]

thank you.

 

thank you for shouting my name as your grip nearly tore the sheets. you were trembling. you were smiling. and you were begging for more.

 

thank you. i needed that.

[KristinLavransdatr]

single-handedly, you saved the otherwise sleepy and boring afternoon with your charm. the corporate world offers such wide array of good looking men in suit, with the air of ivy league intellect.

 

but after your answer to my query...ahh...mabuti na lang gwapo ka!

 

i am so sorry you were the one asked to answer my question. blame the facilitator. but we have to give him credit for the preamble in saying he would put you on the spot. my question didn't just point out to you and your multi-billion dollar multinational company of 13,000 employees. i'm sure you knew that. well, i hope you're smart enough to know that.

 

did you listen to your boxed-up, defensive answer? if you hadn't been that cute i would have engaged you in a debate. admit it, i was the only one who gave a sensible question in that forum and you blew yourself up by giving a thoughtless reply.

 

oh men! when shall intellect, sensitivity and looks finally meet?

 

(and women suffer the same curse!)

Edited December 5, 2006 by KristinLavransdatr

[extrarice3]

Two weeks of unreturned texts, unanswered calls.

 

Sensya na.

 

Because I'm falling for you.

 

:heart:

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Thanks.

 

Now I know.

 

There's always been this thing that has bothered me about you ... now, I know what it is.

 

"I see your true colors shining through ..."

 

one knows who their TRUE friends are ...

 

Thanks!

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Yes, I have made mistakes.

 

Yes, I havent been good with making the right decisions.

 

Yes, I am living the consequences of my actions and decisions.

 

There's only so much others REALLY truly see about you ...

 

But no matter what you tell them ... if they are REAL to you, a TRUE friend ...

 

They will see beyond ... and STILL be there for you, regardless.

 

You're missed, J!

 

The ONLY, one, TRUE person who knows me ... loves me and STILL respects me, despite.

 

Time nor distance ... has not made a difference. You're still the warm, loving, open and

respectful person ... I came to know and love, still continue to ... to this day.

 

Thank you for learning to love me, accepting my flaws and allowing me to evolve over the years

... and continue to push me to be and do better, even via email.

 

Your presence, your voice, your questions, your craziness ... I desperately miss, J!

[spongebobby]

k.

[batitsman]

Moonlit Night

 

As I journey in solitude, I gaze up at the horizon...where slivers of light take shape and form...such a magnificent scene...a full moon amidst clear sky...perfect for a walk under the heavens...hand in hand...in joyful discourse...engulfed in romance...ahhh wishful thinking dear dianne...someday...somewhere...somehow...our time will come...

Edited December 5, 2006 by batitsman

[iwalkalone]

It's all because of you...

you're the reason

i needed to change

though your feelings

maybe vague and uncertain

already i've sworn to be true

the moment i learned that i love you...

[batitsman]

Dianne,

 

A chance meeting in mid July

Has blossomed to a meeting of hearts and minds

At times sad, At times full of joy

 

An unmistakeable bond ensued

Growing, nurturing, loving, caring

Despite a future unknown

 

A promise, nay a vow

Will endure the tests and challenges ahead

For my love is true and pure

 

Nitey nite my angel

[batitsman]

Dianne,

 

Even John Mayer doesn't do justice to how I remember your body...silky smooth...smooth and supple...with the glow of ivory as it curves teasingly ...now I know why men speak of goddesses...yet only my hands and lips can pay homage...nothing more... :hypocritesmiley:

 

Your Body is a Wonderland

 

we've got the afternoon

you've got this room for two

one thing I've left to do

discover me discovering you

 

one mile to every inch of

your skin like porcelain

one pair of candy lips

and your bubblegum tongue

 

cause if you want love

we'll make it

swim in a deep sea

of blankets

take all your big plans

and break 'em

this is bound to be awhile

 

your body is a wonderland

your body is a wonder I'll use my hands

your body is a wonderland

 

something about the way the hair falls in your face

I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillow case

you tell me where to go though I might leave to find it

I'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it

Edited December 5, 2006 by batitsman

[spongebobby]

welcome back, my muse. you know who you are.

[iwalkalone]

ang gara noh? tang ina...nag papaka faithful ako sayo habang ikaw naman pala nagkakalat! hayup ka pasalamat ka wala na kong load!!! :grr: paksyet ka...!!!!

[not your ordinary girl09]

For my MAHAL :

 

Your the man I never dremed of, but it's you who came into my life...

 

Your the man I never wanted to love, but it's you who fills my heart....

 

Your the man I never wanted to be with for the rest of my life...

 

But it's you who make my life complete....

 

love you mahal ko...mwahhhh... In Shala

[denimhead]

in thirty minutes ill be driving up to AC to my hotel room, the desperate noisiness of the casino floors, the whores who'll bed you for a sum ... the drugs yes the drugs .... twice a year i go there to unwind and binge on all vices known to man .... this is what happens to me when i get stressed i go all john belushi out .. but no ODing ... not unless theres such a thing as marijuana overdose ..... in a couple of days ill be back again .. straitlaced and sober .... respectable... dignified but for tonight and tomorrow and the day after ill be one big messy viced up mofo ... and oh yeah ive remind me not ot forget the condoms..... oh i forgot youre not invited... this is a me trip

[iwalkalone]

I'm an idiot...aint I? pinning for you...putting you high up on that pedestal...the reverence i gave ...the adoration...i was f#&king worshipping you...while you were all over f#&king 'em. whatta fool i was...

and i thought that was the first and last of your apeshit posts...awwww...*heartbreaking*

Edited December 6, 2006 by iwalkalone

[preacher]

Like what my grandad used to tell me has now become how I live by.

Right before he died he said he'd rather regret the things he has done than those that he failed to do. I've never let another moment slip by without sucking the life out of it first. This is my life and I'm taking it back, one day at a time. Over skulls and bones if needed be. I'm taking it all back. And you'll see, I'll end up being more that any of you f#&kers ever dreamed of. And when that time comes, I'll be high up in the clouds sending spittle on your sorry faces. And all the things you've ever said to me or about me will be accounted for. Like I said. I'm taking back what's mine. Everything. And that includes all of what's yours....... get ready motherf#&kers, it's payback time.