iwalkalone Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 i am thinking maybe...it's not a good thing for us...(especially for me)...if we will still see each other...i always needed you...always cared for you...always wanted your attention...too much of it, in fact.....you gave alot...but it was never enough for me...when it comes to love...guess i'm never really satisfied. Sometimes i just want to get things over and done with...i just can't deal with myself....needing you...always needing you...wanting you...only you...always finding comfort in your prescence...your words....the calmness i feel when i'm with you...the safety of your embrace...the warmth....the love ...it surrounds me... covers me...blesses me......but only for a time...always only for a time....and it's never enough...never enough.... Quote Link to comment
Guest mrscarl_vhoglie Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 it has been 4 freakin years since the last time we saw each other.nagalit ka sa akin nun, ewan bigla mo na lang akong di kinausap.i thought u wer in the US, kaya di na kita nakita.. *** taenamu! di ka matiyaga kaya di mko nakuha! Quote Link to comment
molina Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Missy, Still enamoured. Much in awe. Molina Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 (edited) 2 seatmates na gurls bat ang friendly nyo sa isa't isa?...bat ako...kahit tinatry ko naman kayo kausapin...ang suplada nyo sa kin...isang tanong isang sagot lang...di nyo na ko kinakausap.... buti pa mga kaklase nating guys ambabait sa kin...lagi pang nakasunod kahit magyoyosi lang ako sa labas..niyayaya pa nila ako mag snack pag break time....sana ganun din kayo sa kin haay buhay nakakaasaaar talaga.... :cry: iwa Edited March 3, 2007 by iwalkalone Quote Link to comment
LostCommand Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 RC, Stage - IV process design? Supercritical inlet flow? Silicone impregnated tungsten powder-meta bearings, each one costing an S-class Mercedes and 6 months to build? And you wanted 20, and those just for your units alone? You sonuvab*tch. That particular client is a developing 3rd world country! Poorer than my dear Pinas even (for now - soon they may overtake us too. Even them). But yes, do go ahead. I do believe they actually need all this high techy, developmentally speaking. We will not build them something made from cheap remelted black-iron. That would only perpetuate their misery - whatever those shylock bankers may say. Besides, it's their money, bled from their own peoples; it's their decision. We are, strictly speaking, merely hired guns brought in to get things going: buy, point, and shoot. Rest assured I'll review all aspects when you are done. With more than just technical strictness. We are one under the sun, my batty buddy. The same moon drives us mad. Sweet titanium dreams! -DIR/Ops/Manuf Quote Link to comment
LostCommand Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Pinsan, You do realise, with these moves, and with all this patience and sacrifice, that we are merely buying time? Rearguard tactics, and no more. For what? For whom?Until when? May? The next crisis?Is our defence sustainable?What is our end-game? And tell me, have you found those to lead the counter-attack? Those who would tempt Fate, and get Fate going? Clarity. Above all, clarity. Everything else, even planning itself, is secondary. A. Paz-Benitez III Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 ... then perhaps it is the proper time to start the descent. The wilderness is never ending and there is no bloom of a rose. The drizzle had been refreshing, but the soil will remain parched for a long while again. Thank you for the dews on velvet petals. For a moment there were spectrum of colors, and gold. But I, of all people know, that colored panes do break and all that is left are black and grey. We are of different spheres and so I lose myself where I belong. I embrace my reality, for that is all that I have. Yes, whatever for.... sincerely,me Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 You made me think. I should be able to have concrete answers. But for some reason, my mind do not work when asked that question. Maybe because I refuse to articulate what cannot be confined in words, for that diminishes the profound essence of the answers. Still, I will try. On the other hand, maybe you are looking at it in such a technical perspective that there must be something tangible for the abstracts, when the abstracts themselves are enough to convey what cannot be articulated. - C Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 A fortiori...With yet stronger reason... Veritas Lux Mea.The truth enlightens me. Fortiter fideliter forsan feliciter.Bravely, faithfully, perhaps successfully -C Quote Link to comment
blow_gobi Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Thanks for sticking it out, or to seem to, despite the limitations. It's been over a year now, and it's so amazing how it can be so resilient. I really like to show my gratitude in ways you'd like me to, to keep my promises, but something always gets in the way when I try to. Thanks anyway, the things we share I hold precious, and rest assured I'll keep my promises... Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 salamat sayo...di mo ko kinakalimutan....kahit alam mo naman na mahal ko si....salamat anjan ka pa rin....salamat mamaya sa pansit salamat sa pakialamsalamat sa wishes mo para sa aming dalawa...sad to say di lahat ng tao kagaya mo magmahal....kagaya ninyong dalawa.....di ata bagay sa mundo yung ganun kaya timo kinuha sya agad.... salamat...salamat... at sayo mahal ko salamat mamaya sa idedeposit mo sa atm...although mas gusto ko sana kung ideposit mo na lang puso mo sa akin....haha! i love you parin Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 (edited) salamat....sayang...di kita kayang mahalin..... pero...salamat.... at para sayo mahal ko...ang totoong laman ng puso ko.... hindi ako natatakot na hindi mo mahalin....natatakot ako...kapag nawala ang nararamdaman ko para sayo....babalik lang ako sa dati....walang laman...walang pag asa...walang kahit ano....naalala mo? kailangan kita...kailangan kita.... Edited March 5, 2007 by iwalkalone Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Thank you very much! kinantahan mo pa ko talaga hah? ang galeeeng! :thumbsupsmiley: thanks :flowers: Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 Goodnyt MTC :mtc: it's been a nice b-dayi got to interact w/ lots of you...thanks....pray for me...please.... Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 (edited) Dear Charitable institution' salamat sa tulong...di ko masabing well appreciated...kase di naman po yun ang hiningi ko sa inyo diba? sa tingin nyo po ba masaya ako ngayon? hindi po...nagkakamali po kayo...hindi po yun ang solusyon sa kondisyon ko....dalawa lang naman po...sana imbes na pinag aral nyo ko ulet...sana po...pina psychiatrist nyo na lang po muna ako....hindi ko po alam ang gagawin ko ngayon...nawawala po ako lalo!na pe-pressured po ako!...ayoko! ayoko! hindi po ako handa!!! ....wala akong gana...wala akong direction...wala po akong nakikitang kahit ano...!!!bakit po ba kase naisip nyo yun!!!???? after all those years....after all those tragic events...akala nyo po ganun-ganun lang yon? eh mga p#tang %na nyo pala eh! mga gago kayo!mga tarantado! mga hayup! mga ulol! hindi ganun kadali kalimutan lahat yon! p#tang %na nyong lahat!!!! mamatay na tayo! mamatay na tayong lahat!!! walang kwenta tong buhay nato! walang kwenta tong mundo nato!!! Galit na galit ako sa inyong lahaaaat!!!! galit nagaliiiit!!!!! na galiiit! na galliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiTTTT!!!! p#tang %na nyo! p#tang %na nyo! p#tang %na nyoooohhhh!!!! at ah...yung pangalawang solution ...alam nyo na yun mga p#tang %na nyo!iwa Edited March 6, 2007 by iwalkalone Quote Link to comment
hottlipss Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 that "bitch on wheels" attitude has got to go.... really it's so old news and tiring.... reflective of how insecure and how pathetic your life is Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 G.M.- You can go on with your yakety-yak, I will not stop you. I have, however, ceased to listen since ten paragraphs ago... As I pick up words here and there, you aren't really saying anything new since the last time you tried to convince me that the way you'll do it is the way to do it. I won't. I refuse. I said it before, I'll say it again. Look for someone else who wishes to be confined in the cardboard box you so creatively improvised. The terrains are long, dear, and I have acres to traverse. I have no time for your mediocre plans. I have made a decision and there is no convincing me otherwise. Even if you sh*t your intestines out. - C.G. Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 (edited) Buddha said, believe nothing merely because you have been told it. How true. For deception is a craft so easily mastered, by liars and cheaters, both. There are the corrupted geniuses who skillfully play with words and executions to form whole lies from half truths, and subtlety is their game plan. Commendable, these people are, for they not only have the ingenuity to spawn an illusion of truth, but they also have the audacity to betray. Consider yourself warned. These are dangerous waters you are trying to navigate. Shark-infested, unguarded. I do not wish to disillusion you, young and feeble as you are, but there are benefits to being told the real deal way ahead. What I do not want to do is to spare you the facts behind Pandora and her little chest of monsters. Yes, Virginia, there are many monsters of which betrayal is but one miniscule gargoyle. Proceed with caution. And remember, in case of emergency, run to the nearest exit. But welcome, the door is wide open and I wish you a grand time with us. Cheers! - C Edited March 7, 2007 by chiquezee Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 truth is...i don't care....i simply don't care....and i'm so tired of talking...and everything is just too disgusting ...to even remember. You may think that i need you...but i don't....i don't need anyone...and i'm not hoping to be saved...it's just not going to happen. And please...just let me pour my guts out...here. It's all I have....but i don't need anyone's advice... and i don't need any fingers pointing at me.just let me be.... Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Dear Mama, I owe you an apology. I know years have passed since our major argument and though we have disagreements every now and then, like two strong-willed women do, I have never really humbled myself enough to tell you how sorry I am for every disappointment and frustration, even bitterness, that I have caused you. Through the years, you endured my stubborness and insolence, which sometimes have no excuse whatsoever. I always believed that the reason we tend to clash is because you see so much of yourself in me. Even my siblings wonder why we can't have a normal conversation without ending up speaking with a tone a notch higher than when we started. But now I see there is more to it than merely you repulsing your similar soul. You were worried I might not end up right and you were angry with yourself as to how I was turning out to be, right before your eyes. You were protecting me, but unfortunately, you didn't know how to do it with care, as most mothers do. Or maybe I didn't know how to accept genuine love when I see it. In several days, fate will be ushering another milestone in my life. I try to imagine you at this point in your life. I can never compare. The sufferings, the sacrifices, the silent tears and painfully shattered dreams. You stood strong against all tribulations. You continue to stand strong til now, never wavering, never faltering. I cannot be half of your strength and courage. How many nights have I caught you sobbing quietly, alone in your bed. How many mornings have I seen you staring into blank space over coffee. In silence, alone, you took everything without complaining. How many days did the sun see you go through without a wink, waiting, hoping, praying, constantly... The heartache must have been near-death. Yet you endured, mama. Like a woman of fortitude. Like a woman of great faith. In all these, I have never heard you complain, nor ask why, or why you. Through it all, you never stopped being a mother to us. Not a second. Though I have always prided in becoming who I am through my own tenacity and perseverance, I do acknowledge your constant presence in my life. The reason I survived my own obstacles was because you inspired me to, despite the hostility and the build-up of resentment. And now, as I enter another phase in my life very soon, I carry your teachings with me. I know that a mother will never disown a child who came from her own womb. But what can I do, mama, to make it up to you? If only I can sit down with you over your marvelous dishes, and warm chocolate drink, just like when I was five, and tell you how I feel, what I think... But I am not strong even to do that, though you have attempted several times to reach out to me. Mama, I wish to make you proud by not making a mistake again in my decisions. You have always known what was best for me, but the rebel child just won't listen, and went on to reshape my destiny, and made my journey more arduous, staying in the wilderness more than necessary. Now I have several decisions to make and I am doing my best to be influenced by no one, as I usually prefer. But I am keeping you in my mind. You and papa, of course. Ma, I wish to not make a mistake. The same way you want to believe you did not make a mistake in your life, and in our lives. Or that even if you did in some areas, that you did not make a mistake in your survival, in enduring, in correcting, in following through, to make up for the blunders. I am on the fast lane right now, and I really need guidance and enlightenment at this point. I need your kind of fortitude. Your kind of faith. And if the only way I can repay you somehow is to strive to have that fortitude, and faith, I will. Through all the crossroads I am passing, I will not crumble. I do love you, mama. And thank you for not giving up on me. One day, you'll see you did not make a mistake on me. Sincerely,me Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Vrbi et orbi: Animis opibusque parati!A capite ad calcem! Quote Link to comment
iwalkalone Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 Goodbye...goodbye...we've gone too far...you're all used up and so am I...Good bye goodbye...amazing how we reached this far...i'll love you...forever...in my heart... Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 With something that is so right, even the smallest distance may be too great.But even the greatest distance can be bridged, regardless of circumstances or fate. Ah, the agony of midnight madness... - C Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 My dearly beloved, Shall I continue on with what remains of my 100 years of solitude? I tried to get you out of my mind for I know you will always be in my heart. Today, though, in the middle of a grueling mental activity, I felt the familiar pang of longing for you and so I let my mind wander to where you may be. That in trying to imagine what you may be doing, and how you may be, I may find comfort, even in my thoughts. I admit that in some instances I let myself reflect if I may have caught a glimpse of you. Perhaps I was mistaken, for I am not certain if you are any where near. And my soul cries out... I know with you I can be real, I can be true. I long for that day when I can be me with you. You have no idea how I ache. Sometimes I reason out to whoever is patiently listening with the moon, that I do not deserve the very long wait. But then, everything comes at its perfect timing. As you will. I know you will. When that happens, I will know. Maybe not instantly, but I will know, and I will be ready. Fanciful romance inspires me not. They come, they go. Fleeting, most of them are, if not all.And the words, though they sound beautiful, what are they? So many can deceive, so many can betray.But what is deep, what is true, sweetheart, darling, perhaps I have not yet found you. I took from some their piece of meat, but inside I hunger insatiably for the nearness of you. It will never be quenched, I will never be filled, until that day when you come and find me ready for you. Many have come, passed by, and left. Some dared to linger, though only a few did stay. And right now, it has been made known, that there is no desire to stay longer where I belong. So, that can't be you, can it?... And though lonliness and sadness creeped in, I shall not hold on to what is not mine... Thus, I wait for you. And when you find me, and you know it is me, you will not let me go. If you are certain, then do not let me go. It will be very hard to find me again, or to force me down my fortress. Still, I don't want to search. One day, you'll just walk in, if you haven't yet, and I will know it is you, finally, for I will feel perpetual peace. And when our eyes lock, and our hands hold, and when our bodies mesh, and our minds meld, it will be wonderfully perfect like the perfect I know. While that hasn’t happened yet, I am here,preparing myself to love you,waiting... Sincerely,C. Quote Link to comment
chiquezee Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Still, for you...Even just for this while that you are here. You have touched me more profoundly than I thought even you could have touched me - my heart was full when you came (here today). Henceforward I am yours for everything. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning(1806-1861) yours,me(until such time when i have to cease to be) Quote Link to comment
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