The Mail Box

[chiquezee]

There are different types of masks. There are those you wear momentarily, for instinctive social requirements. There are those that you wear quite longer for extended interaction. There are those which you just keep at hand when the situation necessitates immediate first aid. There are masks that you wear for protection, those you wear for deception, and those you wear and never take off to replace the real image behind.

 

Mine are so thick I don't know what they are there for anymore.

 

But I am removing them one by one, anyway. Attempting to do so, at least.

 

I find this process of removing the layers of facade to be quite difficult, to a certain extent. The flesh that peels off together with the inner lining of the masks (the skin having grown into the covering over time) leaves raw scars that require nursing. And as medical attention would require, a bandage would have to be laid over the exposed wound, meaning that once the veil is off, the natural instinct is to lay new covers yet again, lest you infect the flesh with airborne virus, or worse, expose it to bacterias from direct contact. But there comes a point, such as now, when some would have to come off, despite the risk of exposure. Ironically, the idea behind the removal is in fact, exposure.

 

The problem with me is, I am hindered by an obsessive compulsion to never be thought of looking like anybody and when I know that what I will reveal would appear to be a result of such similarities, I opt to keep the mask in place. Even if it will only appear as such, but not in fact.

 

I am trying to deal with that. With much struggle.

 

However, undergoing the almost surgical procedure has made me realize that the outer lining has mutated into some organism beyond an artificial mask. It has become scales of iron that covers not just the face but extends to the head and down to the chest. I am scaled-down like any filthy cold-blooded reptile that slithers and crawls the putrid earth...

 

What have I become? But that's just the point, isn't it? To shed the scales and breathe anew through thinner covering, that the image beneath might resurface.

 

The process of peeling off the masks has become a self-inflicted agony unto myself, for what I am removing is already second skin and a sharp scalpel is required to cut through the thick layers. And how it cuts.

 

I hope you realize that I am exposing myself beyond recognition; but do know that though singed and seared and mutilated, the essence of my person remains.

 

For you to realize that you have already met the real me all this time, and to finally understand the image you have seen, is enough reason for me to go through the ordeal of revealing some of the bluest veins that you see through my thin fair skin, under the many segments of covers, one on top of each other.

 

It takes a lot of trust, something I have very scarce supply of. But perhaps, like the biblical account of the multiplication of loaves, it will increase as my faith in trusting increases.

 

Cut through the masks now and let us deal with it. Only, let me leave some for myself for I may not be able to bear the nightmare of knowing what I have actually become once I see what lies beneath.

 

At the end of the day, it is actually my knowing myself that will make things clear for us both. So this is as much for me as it is for you and the answer to your requests. Masks or none.

 

 

- C

[Raoul]

"You can't hide your lyin' eyes

And your smile is a thin disguise

I thought by now you'd realize

There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes"

 

Good riddance!

[sha79]

Don't expect to find

any more in me

than what you give.

 

Don't search for

hidden pockets because

I've shown you that

all I have is all you gave.

[simon b]

hey there,

 

pasensya ka na. bigla-bigla akong nawawala. di naman sa binabalewala ka kaya lang andami kong ginagawa. kabikabila.

para akong nasa roller coaster. pero sa yo siguro mas bagay ako na kabute. lulubog lilitaw.

sa totoo takot ako sa roller coaster. at saka sa ferris wheel. kaya ko lang sakyan yung merry-go-round, minsan nahihilo pa ko.

pero ang kabute masustansya. wag ka lang kakain nung ibang variety. magiging psychedelic ang trip mo. peace. man.

 

ayan kung anu-ano sinasabi ko. wala pa kasi akong tulog at tatlong araw na kong nabubuhay sa soup at itlog.

 

wag ka sanang magsasawa.

 

salamat.

s

[malisyosa_ako]

Salamat sa lahat ng ginagawa mo para sakin... sa lahat-lahat.. hnd ko alam kung paano ako sau mag papasalamat... sobrang dami na kc ng mga bagay na ginagawa mo skn,.. halos d ko na mabilang,.. na aalala ko yung mga ginawa ko sau dati at nag sisisi ako na binigyan kita ng pag ka hirap-hirap na pag subok para lng malaman ko kung talagang mahal mo ako,.. at oo ngaun alam kong mahal mo ako,. naramdaman ko at nasisiguro ko,.. maraming-maraming salamat sayo... sa pag titiis mo sa akin kahit matigas ang ulo ko andyan ka parin,.. kala nila mabait ako ehehhehehe.. ikaw nakaka alam nun.. ingat ka dyan,.. always.. ok..?mag payong ka pag sobrang init..

:thumbsupsmiley: :thumbsupsmiley: :thumbsupsmiley: :heart:

[Dr_PepPeR]

I love your mind. It makes you beautiful in a way that transcends your physical assets. You don't belong there, get out, make your living somewhere else. So you don't meet people like me.

[sha79]

7yrs of waiting from me and you got no answer. and your asking me for the last time today..

But if, if I accept u ryt now just to save u frm ur problems and by not marrying someone whom u didn’t love. Do u think am I being fair?..to you or to myself?

 

 

Ur my beloved frnd.. don’t wanted seeing u that way.

[iwalkalone]

*ang gagaling naman magsulat ng mga ka MTC ko grabeeeh!!! mga idolll! yiheee!

 

ako eto lang:

 

To whom it may concern,

 

utang na loob tapusin nyo na mga problema ko...pautangin nyo naman ako ( ng walang bayaran! http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/Call_gurl/rofl.gif) kahit patak patak lang dyan mga pwends!!! tas inuman tayo ng pamorningan sa pasko! YEAH! http://foolstown.com/sm/jok.gif

 

:heart: forever and ever,

Iwa

[Dr_PepPeR]

To Whom It May Concern:

 

Where do I find the dropbox?

[chiquezee]

Supposing there is courage in certainty -- will that make you less of a coward? Wouldn't that aggravate your stupidity even more, emphasizing the big blunder of your pseudo-bravado?

 

Why you are still walking with a stiff-upper lip through these corridors surprises me. You should learn from Shinzo Abe. Or at least, start learning the art of Seppuku, so then, you will disembowel yourself and not us, and your suicide will benefit a thousand more lives. Come to think of it, you are just like our national artists who are worth more dead than alive. Take that as a compliment, there are those who are worth nothing whether they come or go. Your going will make most of our staying worthwhile.

 

The problem is, we suppose what is not, and therefore saves you not. You are a cow ready for the slaughter.

 

Deal with it, man. Let's see how you roast. And boy, do I know how to make a good barbecue!

 

Just a word to carry with you, the best way out is always through.

 

 

 

- C

[lemon]

dear you,

 

you don't really need this piece of advise, just that i know you'll practically be dragging yourself to the office today and i thought you could use something to get you off the mind set... besides liquor. just this: someone once told me that in anything you do, always see if you are gaining respect or attention. just aim for respect. attention is easy.

 

always,

me.

 

 

y, sí, los mariscos están llamando nuestro nombre.

[LostCommand]

Hurriedly written down on my scratch paper, in the midst of an exam at that:

 

We are not become better men if we merely match ourselves against our lessers in sheer intelligence. The brightest of generals have come up through only the best of armies. There is no exception to that rule. So the highest high grounds are become guarded by the brightest competition, of course. If not so guarded - beware of fakes.

 

Attaining that high ground helps you to solve just about any situation. And to fix just about any problem.

 

...that said, I would be happy with a B given the competition I am in right now. Good lord they are bright.

 

LC

[naked_angel]

funny. that's how i see and label things these days. those i don't understand. those i cannot accept. questions i want to ask but can't. answers i have in mind to questions i will never ask. they're ... funny.

 

sometimes spoken with a hint of truth. most of the time with bitterness and sarcasm.

i know no matter how i delude myself, what's happening to me is definitely not funny. but how do you prepare yourself for a disappointment so heartbreaking you cannot even cry over it? oh i know, over the weekend the reality of the f#&ked up situation will sink in. then i'll cry. maybe to you. maybe to them. i'll sulk. i'll turn to the friendly spirits. then i'll ask myself, what happened? how did i not see it coming? then more crying. until someone else slaps me so hard with the reality that i have to move on. that i have to let go of something i thought was there.

 

a friend who once read the lines of my palm said there's going to be something/someone better. but i don't want that. i want what i have within arms reach now. the almost but not quite thing. i want answers to my questions. i want periods not question marks or ellipses.

 

right now, the solid and grounding thing i was looking forward to is practically just a figment of my imagination. and i think the next best option is that which is fleeting and transient but best for everyone.

 

so what now? not much. just a fervent handom and dumot that the things i label funny, will eventually make me laugh when i look back at them.

 

this may or may not be what you think it is.

 

funny. really. it is.

[chipmaker]

imissyou.

supersupersuper.

 

butiwontstandintheway.

 

illjustbehere.

 

ok?

 

:*

[mwah]

I still have thoughts of you swimming around in my head.

I need to drown them in green tea frappucino.

 

I'm stuck.

I think I need to take a step back and reboot.

 

So tell me - how do I make a fresh start short of reinstalling everything?