How Important Is The Sexual History Of Your Partner?

[j]

well it does not matter really. but it will be good if a partner talks about it freely when ask.

 

sometimes these are the things that a partner should know about their partner. knowing details makes it easier to please people and avoid mishaps.

the second statement sounds better

[Queen Darkeinjel]

Mahirap ata na tanungin na ' psst! May tulo ka ba,boy?'

Di sila aamin. Nakakalalake ata yun.

 

If it's a real relationship, when there's trust and respect, may mga aamin, may mga magsasabi ng totoo. You don't even have to ask dahil magkukusang loob sila na sabihin yung secret na yun.

 

Personally, di naman siguro siya nakakalalake, it's just admitting the past in order to have a better future, especially kung medyo seryoso na and may thinking na of building a family. As far as I know, there are certain diseases that could cause sterility and that's partly the reason why one should consider knowing the past without all the other details.

[j]

If it's a real relationship, when there's trust and respect, may mga aamin, may mga magsasabi ng totoo. You don't even have to ask dahil magkukusang loob sila na sabihin yung secret na yun.

 

Personally, di naman siguro siya nakakalalake, it's just admitting the past in order to have a better future, especially kung medyo seryoso na and may thinking na of building a family. As far as I know, there are certain diseases that could cause sterility and that's partly the reason why one should consider knowing the past without all the other details.

agree ako diyan.

 

you have to trust na your history will be accepted. di mo naman matatanggal yun nakaraan.

[johnlove]

I think there are two things to be considered in this discussion:

 

1. The past is an indication of what the future may be;

 

2. There is a possibility of change in every human person.

 

I believe in both. The question now is, how to balance both of these...

 

My most recent ex is a good example. She had so many failed relationships. She had several sexual partners because of these relationships. (That's her explanation. I am not even sure of the sexual relationships she has had because of pure sexual desire.) She is a self-professed hopeless romantic, and, according to her own acceptance, "madali siyang ma-inlove." She admits that her failed relationships are due "to her own fault." She has two kids from two different guys already.

 

From my initial assessment of her, she's a complete failure in my book. She doesn't even deserve to be given a chance, at least for me.

 

BUT, I did give her a chance. Perhaps, I was rather foolish to have done so, breaking my own initial major premises.

 

We stayed on for more than a year. That was something she felt happy about. According to her, I held the longest record among her bfs. She had wanted to bring it to a higher plane, i.e., discuss plans of settling down. But I held back because I felt, she needed to undergo further testing.

 

And this was the test. (I actually shared this in some past threads.) She left for an overseas employment which was to last two years. Before she left, I told her we will discuss matters after she returns from her two year stint. If she can remain steadfast and faithful in her two years of living abroad, I would most willing concretely discuss matters with her.

 

She didn't last for more than three months. She started seeing a middle eastern guy that early. Even in a rather restrictive middle eastern situation, they were checking in hotels and were screwing each other. She denied everything, and made all sorts of alibi why her attitude was changing. I'm glad I found out her escapades early, so I knew she was lying to me.

 

There you have it. A typical example of "a trend" of someone with a past. Notwithstanding, I gave her the chance of proving people can change. Yes, there are people who do change, and I thought, she could be one of them.

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't her case.

You want a girl to undergo 2 years without sex? That is a recipe for myoma, which would later lead to tumor/cancer.

Edited January 18, 2016 by johnlove

[elmojo]

recipe for myoma. natawa ako dun a. is that even true?

 

i too had my share of someone who cannot change. mas madali pa ata tanggalin ang pagyoyosi e.

[j]

recipe for myoma. natawa ako dun a. is that even true?

 

i too had my share of someone who cannot change. mas madali pa ata tanggalin ang pagyoyosi e.

who knows. it could?

 

let's just respect what he had to share?

 

mahirap naman talaga magpalit ng ugali.

[ultraman16]

Not so much. So long as wag na rin niya masyado idiscuss sakin yung history niya i can live with that

[Kingkongphils]

I think acceptance is your best solution here.

[westell]

so what am i going to to do with the 10 page questionnaire i just put together???

 

yes it matters. i want to know what i am getting myself into. i would ask, i would wonder, and i'd like to know he has balls to stand up for me if anything happens.

 

i had a relationship where after sex, would ask me if he did is as good as my ex or if my ex did what he just did. at first it sounded normal until he admitted no matter how good I was to him, he couldn’t remove the thought that I had been with so and so. stupid sick game. unfortunately we share the same friends and get invited to the same events so it’s unavoidable that we talk. we’re ok and i am much calmer when we’re in the same room. helps that i am cuter now than when i was college hahaha!

 

nice thread j!

 

I think the issue of sexual history is hypocritical to either side. If you're the male, the knowledge of your mate's past would tantamount to retroactive jealousy that some people consider as a natural masculine response. But on the other hand, on the part of the female, it might mean a double standard approach since your sexual past could somehow be interpreted as an unacceptable behavior or, possibly, a moral dilemma--especially in a masculine-dominated culture like ours.

 

Sufficing to say, sexual history should not be a point of contention in a relationship, more so, as a basis of argument. Therefore, the knowledge, or lack of, should not be not be an obstacle in going forward. However, whether this could possess a firm hold in establishing a bond between two people or destroy it in the process, is ultimately a personal decision.

[j]

 

I think the issue of sexual history is hypocritical to either side. If you're the male, the knowledge of your mate's past would tantamount to retroactive jealousy that some people consider as a natural masculine response. But on the other hand, on the part of the female, it might mean a double standard approach since your sexual past could somehow be interpreted as an unacceptable behavior or, possibly, a moral dilemma--especially in a masculine-dominated culture like ours.

 

good point. where there could be issues of jealousy or even a double standard. it could be that this was unintentional too

[Harkon]

When we were still dating, it kind of affected me. But overall, we became together, and we still are, parang wala nalang din. You just realize na you're the only one she's hooking up with now. And that's more than okay with me.

[BB-8]

 

I see. So you're saying na a person's sexual history or past behavior might be used as an indicator for the future. May chance naman magbago talaga ang mga tao diba?

 

what he is saying is exactly correct, history repeats itself. knowing her history is a glimpse of her future. sure people change but deep down inside shes still the same. when the going gets tough, the tough keeps on going. tough is not a character these women are made of. yes tough talking and physically tough but emotionally tough or using their head, i dont think so. they will always take the easy way out.

[j]

 

what he is saying is exactly correct, history repeats itself. knowing her history is a glimpse of her future. sure people change but deep down inside shes still the same. when the going gets tough, the tough keeps on going. tough is not a character these women are made of. yes tough talking and physically tough but emotionally tough or using their head, i dont think so. they will always take the easy way out.

dapat kaya compare yun other aspects ng character niya? kasi kung may history of not following through in other aspects, then mas mataas yun chances na hindi siya nagbabago?

[GoyongDP]

Not really. But if it's more than the fingers can count, you gotta have second thoughts.

[epidemic11]

Hmmm.. OK lang naman kahit hindi ko na malaman. I might just be bothered kapag nalaman ko kung ano na mga pinagdaanan niya.