How Important Is The Sexual History Of Your Partner?

[westell]

i guess we can agree to consider it? it is better than ruling it out.

you're saying it's a symptom? like a fever?

No, not like a disease. A disorder. A disease is more physiological, a disorder suggests some kind of chemical imbalance.

 

A hypomanic phase following a bout of depression for people suffering from Bipolar Disorder exhibits sexual hyperactivity and, if worse, absence of inhibitions.

 

So, there.

[crocxxx]

Ano view nyo dito?

 

What if nalaman mo yung super sweet caring and maganda mo na nililigawan may history ng one night stand? twice? Pero way back pa after sya gaguhin nung first boyrfriend nya, Iba to pero personally, I know a friend na super na turn off dun sa girl na gustong gusto nya dahil nalaman nya na may history ng one night stand si girl while in a relationship.

 

Thoughts? Does it really matter?

+1

I have elaborated on this in my last post. For me, the history of sexual encounters is really important. A history of one night stands, especially, point out some things.

 

1. S/he is an easy lay. Di ba? Eh kung madaling maalok sa kama, anong tawag mo niyan?

2. S/he has a psychological problem. The incessant need for unbridled sex could be a sign of a need something deeper than just the external act of copulating.

3. Unless that need or problem is resolved, what would prevent him/her from continuing doing one night stands when s/he is in a relationship?

 

Again, my ex is a perfect example. She had a history of relationships and sexual encounters. However, in the one year plus of our being together, she appeared to have reformed. She didn't fool around (that's as far as I know), she stopped all her vices (smoking and even excessive drinking), and she even altered her way of dressing (she liked dressing skimpily). Without me insisting on her changing her habits, she voluntarily did so just because she wanted to please me. (Perfect, di ba?)

 

She became a good girl. She was malambing and caring, and became, in that year, an honest-to-goodness wife material.

 

It was good until she left for her two-year overseas contract. I told her we shall discuss serious plans after she comes back. (I had wanted those two years be a testing period for us.) We have been in touch almost every day, thanks to technology. From my side, I knew there was nothing lacking because I maintained constant communication, not to mention, I kept sending her stuff she had wanted and craved for from the Philippines.

 

But when one is defective (for lack of a better term), the uncorrected/unresolved defect will always manifest itself. She returned to her old ways. She started drinking and smoking again. Her manner of dressing returned to her former ways. In less than three months, I had discovered she was already seeing and sleeping with another guy. And I feigned ignorance all along. I continued until six months, pretending not to know. In all those times, she kept up with her lies and denials.

 

Is she the rule, or an exception to the rule? The rule, meaning, her history of sexual relationships proved her trending behavior.

 

I believed she was more of the former.

+1

[BrandonMortiz]

very important. you need to know, and make it a basis for acceptance. you need to really know your partner.

[t3sla]

Thanks for all the inputs. In my situation, the person that i'm dating came from two past relationships na more than 2 years. So yeah, I guess talagang you really need to know the person and be ready to accept whatever experience she had from her previous relationships.

[j]

Thanks for all the inputs. In my situation, the person that i'm dating came from two past relationships na more than 2 years. So yeah, I guess talagang you really need to know the person and be ready to accept whatever experience she had from her previous relationships.

i guess it helps to have different perspectives? to help you see a situation from a different angle.

[baMbee🐝]

It does not matter, as long as she looks clean or you know she's clean.

[janik]

It depends if both partners want to. Knowing someone's history is probably a good idea if you are ready to get serious with the relationship.

[jgc813]

It is better to know, than not to know so that your decision, whether to accept or not, will be the result of an informed judgment. Whatever will be the end result of going ahead or not (with the relationship) will be to your consolation, or to your disgust.

 

Latin: "Praemonitus praemunitus." Literal English: Forewarned forearmed. Dynamic Filipino: Nang huwag magising na mataas na ang araw.

[j]

It is better to know, than not to know so that your decision, whether to accept or not, will be the result of an informed judgment. Whatever will be the end result of going ahead or not (with the relationship) will be to your consolation, or to your disgust.

 

Latin: "Praemonitus praemunitus." Literal English: Forewarned forearmed. Dynamic Filipino: Nang huwag magising na mataas na ang araw.

agree ako diyan.

 

based on what i'm seeing here, the reasons for not knowing is "ignorance is bliss" or if you dont want to tell, dont ask.

 

pero mahirap nga yun di mo alam, and then you complain when you're sideswiped

Edited January 16, 2016 by j

[SpaceGrey]

im the first! achivement!!

[eve]

so what am i going to to do with the 10 page questionnaire i just put together???

 

yes it matters. i want to know what i am getting myself into. i would ask, i would wonder, and i'd like to know he has balls to stand up for me if anything happens.

 

i had a relationship where after sex, would ask me if he did is as good as my ex or if my ex did what he just did. at first it sounded normal until he admitted no matter how good I was to him, he couldn’t remove the thought that I had been with so and so. stupid sick game. unfortunately we share the same friends and get invited to the same events so it’s unavoidable that we talk. we’re ok and i am much calmer when we’re in the same room. helps that i am cuter now than when i was college hahaha!

 

nice thread j!

[j]

so what am i going to to do with the 10 page questionnaire i just put together???

 

yes it matters. i want to know what i am getting myself into. i would ask, i would wonder, and i'd like to know he has balls to stand up for me if anything happens.

 

i had a relationship where after sex, would ask me if he did is as good as my ex or if my ex did what he just did. at first it sounded normal until he admitted no matter how good I was to him, he couldn’t remove the thought that I had been with so and so. stupid sick game. unfortunately we share the same friends and get invited to the same events so it’s unavoidable that we talk. we’re ok and i am much calmer when we’re in the same room. helps that i am cuter now than when i was college hahaha!

 

nice thread j!

that's pretty interesting!

 

thanks!

[BennyChang]

Acceptance and Respect is key.

[elmojo]

well it does not matter really. but it will be good if a partner talks about it freely when ask.

 

sometimes these are the things that a partner should know about their partner. knowing details makes it easier to please people and avoid mishaps.

[LeChat_noir]

very well said, it is one of many symptoms of Bipolar Disorder .

 

No, not like a disease. A disorder. A disease is more physiological, a disorder suggests some kind of chemical imbalance.

A hypomanic phase following a bout of depression for people suffering from Bipolar Disorder exhibits sexual hyperactivity and, if worse, absence of inhibitions.

So, there.