Falling For A Therapist - Merged Thread

[oninpo]

It just happen nasa getting to know you more phase pa lang kami. Enjoying the moment pa planning mag out of town blah blah adjusting both scheds etc etc mga usual plans ng mga bago. so far so good steady pa din. puros mga short term plans pag naging successful edi long term naman.

[Edmund Dantes]

Totoo yan, kaso sa kultura nating mga Pinoy at Asians in general, nagiging obligasyon pa ng mga anak na suportahan ang household, as if binigyan tayo ng magulang natin ng buhay para tayo bubuhay sa kanila in return.

 

Sakin wala naman problema na tumulong ang anak sa mga magulang or mas nakakabatang kapatid lalo na kung mahirap sila at sya lang ang may kakayanan na gumastos. Pero wag naman sana i-force, encourage or even suggest ng magulang na pumasok sa sex industry ung bata para lang makatawid sila sa gutom. In any case, I don't think mawawala ang ganyang way of thinking anytime soon, lol.

 

Ang ibang kaso naman, madaming recruiters jan na tinatarget talaga ung mga pamilya at batang nasa ganyang sitwasyon, sometimes kinikidnap pa and pinipilit pumasok sa ganyang trade para pambayad utang (bond labor) hanggang sa masanay nalang at mag adapt. These are just a few examples of the millions of women who are forced into this kind of "work" by syndicates and human traffickers. I'm not sure kung may mga ganitong kwento na nangyayare sa mga spas or clubs natin sa Manila, but I do know it's happening around the world.

 

Yeah in terms of family values, mas gusto ko yung western approach talaga. Na practice independence. Kung magulang ka, buhayin mo anak mo until makatungtung ng legal age, then turuan mo na buhayin ang sarili nya para di maging palaasa at tama yung maturity. At the same time, paghandaan mo yung pagtanda mo. Maging independent ka. Hindi yung lahat iaasa mo sa anak mo na may sarili ding buhay na dapat asikasuhin.

 

Sana nga may makabasa nitong sinasabi natin. Yung iba kasi na pumapasok dito para suportahan kapatid at magulang ay tingin ko talagang misguided. Unang una, hindi naman sya ang may obligasyon sa kanya. Kung tutuusin nga, mas obligasyon nya na siguraduhing hindi mapapariwara sariling buhay. Minsan kelangan mo din maging selfish din naman. Its all about self-love really. Tsaka hindi fair trade yung ipapariwara mo katawan at buhay mo para mapagtapos lang mga kapatid mo at sustentuhan magulang mo. Tumulong? OO tumulong. Tumulong sa abot ng makakaya sa hanganan na hindi mo ipapahamak ng sobra sarili mo. Kung malakas pa magulang mo eh di dumiskarte din naman sila. At yung mga kapatid mo kung legal age naman sila, bat di sila maghanap part-time na trabaho?

[temurlenk]

I have been reading through this thread since I became an MTC member a few months back, and I must say it never fails to amaze me. I can see a pattern emerging, which usually includes men (or GMs as they are aptly referred to on this website) sharing their predicament, which would prompt replies from members. What really holds my attention is the fact that some men have quite strong feelings toward those who not only make a habit out of visiting MPs and Spas, but also perpetually falling in love with therapists/MPAs.

 

It is rather unfortunate that human beings are hardwired to seek love wherever they can find it. I would not go so far as to say that Massage Parlors and Spas are places where one can never find love, but it does appear that hoping to find a meaningful and lasting relationship with MPAs and Therapists is, at best, a fool's errand. In some cases, falling in love with a lady in the trade concludes in an unmitigated disaster that can destroy countless lives and invalidate a previously promising future.

 

As far as those who are already "in love" or in a current relationship with working girls, there only seems to be one real solution, which is to provide financial and emotional support in exchange for sexual exclusivity. The passionate reactions from some members who have had experience (or at least a valid frame of reference) in this matter revolves mostly around the notion that it is indeed a bad idea for a lot of reasons.

 

This forum, and the sheer number of responses from various members, got me thinking. Have a certain percentage of the Filipino male population consciously (or subconsciously) decided that they are no longer interested in meeting women organically? Is the prospect of meeting a lady in a coffee shop or bar now considered too tedious that men would rather pay for companionship?

 

Ancient men hunt their food and fought with each other in order to land a mate. Are men now reduced to beings who are more interested in shelling out money rather than hunting their prey using whatever skill/s they have at their disposal?

 

I have seen documentaries on wild animals that have become inadvertently domesticated due to their exposure to urban living. Those who live in the zoo and are cared for by keepers and maintenance personnel have developed a taste for convenience, so much so, that they have all but lost their animal instincts. Is this what's happening to men these days? And if not, are those who frequent Spas and MPs for the sake of finding quick sexual relief part of a particular male niche?

 

Having lived in a city where SPAs and MPs are practically non-existent, I am admittedly not privy to the inner workings of this industry. That said, I can surmise that there is an emerging urban sub-culture that is cultivated by the combination of a high demand for sexual services and the continuing financial struggle of countless women. It is both fascinating and depressing to think that men might be on their way to extinction, not in the sense that they will completely disappear on the face of the earth, but in terms of losing their place in the evolutionary ladder.

 

 

Ma'm we are talking about an industry which is older than Christianity and maybe as old as history itself. It is known to have existed almost 2000 years before the birth of Christ. Today it is a 100 billion dollar industry worldwide. This so-called sub-culture is not emerging, it has been there since time immemorial and laws have been created to regulate or incriminate such practices. There is also what they call sex tourism wherein men (or maybe women) travel to countries or places where they can easily avail of these services, and I doubt that seeing the sights and culture is ever in their itinerary.

Yes it's true, some men who foray these establishments, who come in physical contact with workers of the flesh can sometimes succumb to the temptations and become disposessed of their sanity, but this is how some men feed their vanity, and that is what this thread aims to discuss and debate upon in the most constructive way possible.

[99PercentCaffeine]

Ma'm we are talking about an industry which is older than Christianity and maybe as old as history itself. It is known to have existed almost 2000 years before the birth of Christ. Today it is a 100 billion dollar industry worldwide. This so-called sub-culture is not emerging, it has been there since time immemorial and laws have been created to regulate or incriminate such practices. There is also what they call sex tourism wherein men (or maybe women) travel to countries or places where they can easily avail of these services, and I doubt that seeing the sights and culture is ever in their itinerary.

Yes it's true, some men who foray these establishments, who come in physical contact with workers of the flesh can sometimes succumb to the temptations and become disposessed of their sanity, but this is how some men feed their vanity, and that is what this thread aims to discuss and debate upon in the most constructive way possible.

 

 

Point well taken. Prostitution is nothing new. I was simply not aware that there was a way to discuss the matter of falling in love with ladies in the trade in a constructive manner, apart from the advise provided by men who have been through similar situations. However, since it is a reality that men have to deal with, this thread does provide a safe avenue for those who need help sorting out their troubles. This is purely from the POV of a bystander. While I am aware of how prevalent prostitution is in this country and the rest of the world, it does come as a shock to me that some men do seek out to fall in love with women who may not entirely be capable of returning their affections.

 

Perhaps I have been living under a rock for the past 28 years. Thank you for enlightening me.

Edited March 10, 2015 by 99PercentCaffeine

[temurlenk]

 

 

Point well taken. Prostitution is nothing new. I was simply not aware that there was a way to discuss the matter of falling in love with ladies in the trade in a constructive manner, apart from the advise provided by men who have been through similar situations. However, since it is a reality that men have to deal with, this thread does provide a safe avenue for those who need help sorting out their troubles. This is purely from the POV of a bystander. While I am aware of how prevalent prostitution is in this country and the rest of the world, it does come as a shock to me that some men do seek out to fall in love with women who may not entirely be capable of returning their affections.

 

Perhaps I have been living under a rock for the past 28 years. Thank you for enlightening me.

Ma'm you are most welcome. We are all bystanders here. Everyone who has an opinion about the topic is free to join in and share their 2 cents worth. Some individuals, including myself, in our spare time can ask questions or produce info that will somehow start a debate which I do find constructive because we all have different experiences or unique thoughts which can put things in a different light or perspective.

As for men going to these places looking for love as you've mentioned, yes, there may be a handful of desperate lads who have this in mind but I can assure you, most men are in it for the sex and that's it. The thing is at some point, like I've said, they lose their grip on reality for different reasons but the most obvious is the misconstrued notion that the girl/worker is in love with them or is in need of rescuing.

[mtc_observer]

One problem is that even if a GM knows and is intelligent enough to see through the thera,

the big question still sticks to the subconscious:

 

WHY IS THIS GIRL SO GIVING?

 

The GM then thinks: there is not many people in my life who are like this to me.

Even if he has a full grasp of reality, he can't avoid the thought.

[dibdba]

Men go to these places for a variety of reasons, but love is rarely among them.

 

Some men go to a spa or MP to fulfil a fetish or experience a sexual act that their regular partner cannot or will not provide. Let's say his partner thinks oral sex is dirty, immoral even. He'll go to a place where he can get a blowjob. Or take the case of a prominent media person. He loves "handjobs" that don't involve hands. I don't think his wife or his GFs can even contemplate such an act.

 

These guys are neither desperate nor a bunch of losers. A friend doesn't mind paying 5 digits for a hook up, when given his good looks and confidence, he can easily pick up a girl from a bar. It's the quest to get something different. He maintains that sex with a real pro is still different, and not a level his innocent wife can reach. And I think there are still many spa-goers who have enough mojo and confidence to ask regular girls out. Successfully.

 

The real danger is when a man with zero romantic history starts to frequent these places. And the only way he can see and touch a naked woman's body is by paying. It is easy to confuse a woman's touch with love. Paid or free. After all, the dick, not the stomach is still the surest way to a man's heart.

[Edmund Dantes]

Ma'm you are most welcome. We are all bystanders here. Everyone who has an opinion about the topic is free to join in and share their 2 cents worth. Some individuals, including myself, in our spare time can ask questions or produce info that will somehow start a debate which I do find constructive because we all have different experiences or unique thoughts which can put things in a different light or perspective.

As for men going to these places looking for love as you've mentioned, yes, there may be a handful of desperate lads who have this in mind but I can assure you, most men are in it for the sex and that's it. The thing is at some point, like I've said, they lose their grip on reality for different reasons but the most obvious is the misconstrued notion that the girl/worker is in love with them or is in need of rescuing.

 

Kaya nga di ba, nakakairita talaga yung mga akala mo kung sinong white knight na magaasta. Actually we have nothing against women in this industry. We don't even blame them kung gumagamit sila ng pambobola at sinasamantala nila emotional weakness ng mga GM dyan. Its all part of the business. Papano sila mabubuhay kung wala silang guest. Pero itong mga white knights na ito, puros naman andun sa kabilang thread kinukwento maruruming detalye ng mga serbisyo nila. And they have the audacity to come here demanding respect for these women?

 

Isa pang nakakainis, yung mga GM na akala mo kung sinong napakagaling sa chicks kung magyabang na natipuhan daw kuno ng therapist o ng attendant. Magbibigay pa ng kung ano anong tips or tricks para makadiscount at makalibre. Sabi ko nga, magawa nya yan sa mga KC Concepcion, Anne Curtis, at Bea Alonzo, bibilib ako.

 

 

 

One problem is that even if a GM knows and is intelligent enough to see through the thera,

the big question still sticks to the subconscious:

 

WHY IS THIS GIRL SO GIVING?

 

The GM then thinks: there is not many people in my life who are like this to me.

Even if he has a full grasp of reality, he can't avoid the thought.

 

It goes to show that the GM is naive and emotionally vulnerable. Because its part of the trade that the thera/attendant/PSP make the man feel "special". Again I wont blame the thera at all in this situation, Ill blame more the GM for not playing his cards wisely. Papano sila kikita sa trabahong ito kundi sila babalikan, so on their end its fair game lang at responsibility na ng GM na hawakan emosyon nya.

 

 

Men go to these places for a variety of reasons, but love is rarely among them.

 

Some men go to a spa or MP to fulfil a fetish or experience a sexual act that their regular partner cannot or will not provide. Let's say his partner thinks oral sex is dirty, immoral even. He'll go to a place where he can get a blowjob. Or take the case of a prominent media person. He loves "handjobs" that don't involve hands. I don't think his wife or his GFs can even contemplate such an act.

 

These guys are neither desperate nor a bunch of losers. A friend doesn't mind paying 5 digits for a hook up, when given his good looks and confidence, he can easily pick up a girl from a bar. It's the quest to get something different. He maintains that sex with a real pro is still different, and not a level his innocent wife can reach. And I think there are still many spa-goers who have enough mojo and confidence to ask regular girls out. Successfully.

 

The real danger is when a man with zero romantic history starts to frequent these places. And the only way he can see and touch a naked woman's body is by paying. It is easy to confuse a woman's touch with love. Paid or free. After all, the dick, not the stomach is still the surest way to a man's heart.

 

Yes we know. Sabi nga, you dont pay a prostitute to stay and be emotionally attached. You pay them to make sure they wont be.

 

Sakin nakakairita kasi yung mga akala mo kung sino magyabang pag akala nila natitipuhan sila ng PSP or attendant nila. Na tipong nabibigyan ng discount o kaya nakkakuha ng serbisyo na sobra sa pinagusapan, feeling nila sila na pinakamagaling na gentleman sa buong mundo. Gimme a break please.

 

If you wanna prove you are the ideal gentleman any woman would want, then get someone like.... Anne Curtis Halimbawa to introduce you to her family on a sunday barbecue. Yun bibilib pa ako

[dibdba]

 

 

 

If you wanna prove you are the ideal gentleman any woman would want, then get someone like.... Anne Curtis Halimbawa to introduce you to her family on a sunday barbecue. Yun bibilib pa ako

if you are expecting guys here to suddenly look for an Anne Curtis para bumilib ka, you will be disappointed. Nobody here is posting to impress you. Or me. Or most other people. Nobody here needs our approval.

 

Most will agree that the sex industry is the worst place to go and deliberately look for love. for both girl and boy. But love finds you whether you seek it or not. So what do you do if you're in such a messy situation? You can get drunk of course. Instead you can seek advice in a forum like this. And once they share their experience, what do we do? We can mock them or laugh at them. Or instead we can also help and guide them. We can pound the pulpit of moral indignation. Or instead we can offer empathy and hope.

 

I look at this thread as an informal support structure for those who found love in the spas or MPs or KTVs or with PSPs. There is no room for people who demand to be impressed.

[temurlenk]

Men go to these places for a variety of reasons, but love is rarely among them.

 

Some men go to a spa or MP to fulfil a fetish or experience a sexual act that their regular partner cannot or will not provide. Let's say his partner thinks oral sex is dirty, immoral even. He'll go to a place where he can get a blowjob. Or take the case of a prominent media person. He loves "handjobs" that don't involve hands. I don't think his wife or his GFs can even contemplate such an act.

 

These guys are neither desperate nor a bunch of losers. A friend doesn't mind paying 5 digits for a hook up, when given his good looks and confidence, he can easily pick up a girl from a bar. It's the quest to get something different. He maintains that sex with a real pro is still different, and not a level his innocent wife can reach. And I think there are still many spa-goers who have enough mojo and confidence to ask regular girls out. Successfully.

 

The real danger is when a man with zero romantic history starts to frequent these places. And the only way he can see and touch a naked woman's body is by paying. It is easy to confuse a woman's touch with love. Paid or free. After all, the dick, not the stomach is still the surest way to a man's heart.

Un nga, hindi sila kuntento sa partner nila, pero diba may danger pa din na maging dependent nalang sila sa ganyang lifestyle at maging as vulnerable as the so-called "zero romantic history" guys in the long run? I mean how does one draw the line between emotional fulfillment and sexual satisfaction when we start to depend on these places for both? How can we be certain that we are still in control of our emotions and that we are not merely puppets on strings? Is it possible for guys to be desensitzed by the situation and still be a caring partner for someone at the same time? I know for some it's possible, but I guess at some point one has to choose and learn to be content with what we have.

[kali7]

I don't think any GM will go to spa/MP looking for love. They just go there for relaxation and some release. And men don't fall in love to any girl because they had great sex. They fall in love because they had a connection between them just like any other girl. Most GMs that way even contended of just having chitchat with them. Being with her is already a satisfaction. Getting to another level like dating outside will be the next step. Of coarse there are men that are more gullible than others but you will never know when the love bug bites.

Importantly when you do fall in love, analyze carefully if the girl is also in love with you or just a cash cow/ATM. And if you really don't want to fall in love with them but can't avoid going to these place, DON'T TAKE THE SAME GIRL MORE THAN ONCE.

[Bentong Senior]

okay lang basta may pangtustos ka

[Sitti of TVS]

Tama ka dyan sa mga sinabi mo. Syempre, kawawa rin dito yung babae. Baka lalo pa syang madepress kapag naramdaman nya na di sya 100% accepted dahil sa trabaho nya. Papasakayin lang ng mga bola tapos di naman pala kaya panindigan.

 

Isa pa, marami ditong kwento ng mga MPA na inilabas ng GM, pero it turned out na loko pala yung GM. Tapos di makalasan kasi nga ang laki ng utang na loob. Kung mahiwalayan man, balik nanaman sa dating trabaho. O kaya naman nagiging kabit, binabahay, tapos e-eskandaluhin ng pamilya. Yun ngang isang nangyari dito kung kelan matagal ng nakaalis sa ganitong hanapbuhay at kinalasan lalake, saka pa ginugulo nung asawa. Multo ng nakaraan bumabalik pa.

 

Kaya mas maganda sa babae to keep everything professional na lang. No strings attached, para pag time na nakaalis na sa trabaho, pwede sya magumpisa ulit on her own terms. Sya may dikta kung san nya dadalhin buhay nya at hindi sa isang lalake na una white night, pagkatapos ito pa magbibigay sa kanya ng bagong kadena nya.

 

 

Ang relasyon at pagibig naman andyan lang sa tabi tabi, pwede pulutin pag handa na. Simple lang naman yan eh, if you are in the trade, then you have to sacrifice things like this. That, or maghanap ka ibang hanapbuhay.

 

very well said.. this really hit me.. oh well..

Edited March 11, 2015 by Sitti_Shizuka

[Edmund Dantes]

I don't think any GM will go to spa/MP looking for love. They just go there for relaxation and some release. And men don't fall in love to any girl because they had great sex. They fall in love because they had a connection between them just like any other girl. Most GMs that way even contended of just having chitchat with them. Being with her is already a satisfaction. Getting to another level like dating outside will be the next step. Of coarse there are men that are more gullible than others but you will never know when the love bug bites.

Importantly when you do fall in love, analyze carefully if the girl is also in love with you or just a cash cow/ATM. And if you really don't want to fall in love with them but can't avoid going to these place, DON'T TAKE THE SAME GIRL MORE THAN ONCE.

 

Its not really about the girl just being after the wallet. Its the setup itself. Kaya mo ba sikmurain ang isang romantic relationship sa isang babae na nahahawakan ng ibang lalake gabi gabi? As I said before, love also means not having to be unfair with yourself.

 

very well said.. this really hit me.. oh well..

 

Well eto na lang siguro masasabi kong conclusion. Its a 2-way street. Ang risk dito hindi lang sa lalake. In fact mas malaki yung risk sa babae mismo. Lets face it, if things don't work out, the guy will be broken hearted but in time he will move on easily. Yung babae on the otherhand, basagan na nga puso, pwede pang masira yung buhay. Kasi nga, pano kung loko pala yung lalake? Isa pa, kung talagang hindi magpla-plano, hindi sisikapin makadevelop ng ibang skillset, wala iba mababalikan kundi trabaho na ito.

 

Sabi ko nga, may ibang napapasok dito dahil nung time na desperate na, hindi nakakuha ng tamang advice. Pero ano pa magagawa, andyan na. Labasan na lang ng maayos itong gusot na ito. PLanuhin mabuti ang exit plan. Siguraduhin na clean getaway talaga. Yung tipong wlaa kang pinagkakautangan ng loob at pera, walang maghahabol sayo, at higit sa lahat makakapagumpisa ka completely on your own terms

[Edmund Dantes]

if you are expecting guys here to suddenly look for an Anne Curtis para bumilib ka, you will be disappointed. Nobody here is posting to impress you. Or me. Or most other people. Nobody here needs our approval.

 

Most will agree that the sex industry is the worst place to go and deliberately look for love. for both girl and boy. But love finds you whether you seek it or not. So what do you do if you're in such a messy situation? You can get drunk of course. Instead you can seek advice in a forum like this. And once they share their experience, what do we do? We can mock them or laugh at them. Or instead we can also help and guide them. We can pound the pulpit of moral indignation. Or instead we can offer empathy and hope.

 

I look at this thread as an informal support structure for those who found love in the spas or MPs or KTVs or with PSPs. There is no room for people who demand to be impressed.

 

My point is, ang dami sa mga threads na sumusubra ang yabang. Akala mo kung sinong alpha na napakatinik sa chicks. Pinagmamalaki pa na nabigyan sila ng discount, o sinerbisyohan sila ng higit pa sa napagkasunduan. Laging pinangmamalaki na matagal na daw sila naglalalagi sa KTV/MP/SPA at kung saan saan pa, as if dapat nga yang kaingitan. When in fact, that is an indication na dun na lang umiikot buong social life nila, at hindi naman sila makalapit sa normal na babae. Nakakainis pa, akala mo kung sinong superman ng mga MP at thera, pero kung ikwento naman maduduming detalye ng serbisyo na binibigay ng mga babaeng ito, para lang silang binebenta na kapirason karne. This is one hypocrisy that disgusts me. Kaya nga, kung gusto magyabang na maagaling kumarinyo ng babae at perfect genlteman kaya madali mahiwalay yung babae sa panty nya.... gawin yan sa mga tulad ni Anne Curtis O Bea Alonzo siguro.

 

As for finding love. I believe it takes a mature and rational person to understand what love is, how to handle it, and most of all what it takes to start a healthy relationship. In fact, anybody who has been matured by the cycles of falling and hurting should understand that being in love is not enough reason to pursue a relationship. Only juveniles think so. Yeah siguradong maraming nasasaktan at natatamaan sa sinasabi ko pero minsan, kelangan uminom ng mapait na gamot para gumaling. Mainfatuate lang ng konti akala love na.

 

And Ill repeat, I am not here to pursue any crusade. I am not trying to save anyone who thinks he does not need saving anyway. Its not my responsibility, its not my problem. I am here to merely discuss the issue. Some people find my thoughts helpful, and may iba na natatamaan na nagagalit. Bahala na sila how they take it