Political Jokes

[Totsky2008]

ontest: hanapin ang kuneho sa gubat

contestants: russia's kbg, philippine's nbi, usa's fbi

 

KGB's method- hinalughug ang gubat, kinidnap mga kamag anak ng kuneho at tinorture, pero hindi nila nakuha ang kuneho...

 

FBI's method- pinasabog ang gubat at sinunog... pero hindi nila nahuli ang kuneho...sinabi nila sa press na malamang patay na ang kuneho sa nangyari sa gubat...

 

NBI- pumasok sa gubat, pag labas me dalang OSO, bugbog sarado at sumisigaw- ako ang KUNEHO!

 

 

LOL.... pwede.... :thumbsupsmiley:

[howarddeduct]

GMA and her family riding an airplane..

GMA: What if I throw 1 check worth 1M Php out of the window to make at least 1 Filipino happy?

Mike A: Honey, why not throw 2 checks worth half a million pesos to make 2 Filipinos happy?

Luli A: Mom, why not throw 4 checks worth quarter of a million to make 4 Filipinos happy?

Finally her grand daughter spoke: Grandma, why not simply THROW YOURSELF out of the window to make ALL Filipinos happy?

[*kalel*]

iam not sure if this is related...

kanina sa news, nagwawala si angelo reyes (DOE) dahil sa nangyari sa pcos machines.. sabi nya the people who are responsible for this should be hung.... ang sagot ni teddy locsin sa kanya, yes they will be hung together with those responsible for brown outs... natawa ako...

[*kalel*]

# Miriam Defensor-Santiago on her opponents: “Many, if n0t all, of my presidential opponents, are certifiable idiots.”

# Quote from Imelda Marcos: “People say I’m extravagant because I want to be surrounded by beauty. But tell me, who wants to be surrounded by garbage?

# Erap: “Miss, pabili nga ng ballpen.” Saleslady: “Sori sir wala p0 kaming ballpen.” Erap: “Ano ba yan, PENSHOPPE walang ballpen!”

# GMA: “Sorry late ako. Grabe ang brownout sa Makati, 1hr kami sa elevator.” ERAP: “Mas grabe ang brown out sa San Juan, 2hrs kami ni Jinggoy sa escalator!”

# Someone asked Imelda Marcos: “Madam, how rich are you?” Imelda: “Darling, if you can count it, you’re not rich.”

# Randy David on his arrest during PP1017: “Isang paraan para di mahuli sa rally, inglisin mo yung pulis.”

# Dolphy on running for office: “Madaling tumakbo, eh paano pag nanalo?”

# On Philippine politics: “Pagkatapos ng eleksyon, dalawang klase lang ang politiko – NANALO at DINAYA.”

[Ryuji_tanaka]

^ nakalimutan mo yung punchline sa Miriam joke:

the psychiatric report that alleged reported Noynoy has psychological issues, has been confirmed as altered. Research has shown it is the evaluation for Miriam Defensor-Santiago.

[aguinaldo612]

The SWS says GMA net satisfaction rating went down to -59 percent. Thats a FAILING grade from the Filipino People.

 

When asked for comments, Mrs. Arroyo said,

 

" Well in that case, I am more than willing to REPEAT!"

 

hahaha

[*kalel*]

gibo- dummy ni gma

bayani- dummy ni gordon

manny v- dummy pera, dummy bahay, dummy lote

erap- dummy

 

==============================================

 

erap: magandang mag magic trick, kaso nagawa na ni villar mag pa appear ng kalsada sa ibabw ng lote... alam ko na, papuputiin ko na lang si jojo... mga kaibigan running mate ko po yun... hindi ko anino :-P

[Barenaked-NoMre]

Di inaasahan ang biglang pagbaba ng VOTE COUNTS for VILLAR. Ang dahilan... lahat ng main supporters nya, "CHECK" ang nilagay sa balota!

[destron]

Welcome Mayor Binay, our first black vice-president!

[kanto-terrorist]

looking at the election results... Erap at 2nd place, Bong, Jinggoy, Lapid at top 10 in the senate...

 

Is that a JOKE?

[kuya willie]

President: NOYNOY

Vice President:NOGNOG

[ctvrtlk]

New Erap joke nagiikot sa facebook:

 

Ayaw mag concede ni Erap dahil alam nya panalo cya dahil sabi ng PCOS Machine sa kanya "Congratulations!"

 

:lol:

[s3cr3tiv3]

something I picked up through SMS:

 

One reason kung bakit lumalamang sa bilangan si Binay ay dahil sa dami ng presidentiables na inendorse nya:

 

Noynoy

Erap

Gibo

Richard Gordon

Others

 

In short, NEGRO sya

[camiar]

MOVING ON DAW....

[scam]

Jinggoy: Dad, uminom ako ng Viagra very effective cya

kaya lang meron problema.

ERAP : ano yun anak ?

Jinggoy: Kasi dad hangang ngayo nakatayo pa rin si jr.

ERAP : Kinnuha yung Viagra box at nagbasa.

Eh nakalagay dito anak, expire on 2012.