Political Jokes

[howarddeduct]

Miriam Santiago, has challenged the least intelligent presidentiable to a televised debate. To make things interesting, Miriam says that every time she asks Erap a question which he cannot answer, Erap has to pay Miriam five pesos. BUT if Erap asks Miriam a question which she cannot answer, Miriam has to give Erap five thousand pesos.

 

Miriam asks the first question: ‘What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?’ Erap doesn’t say a word, reaches for his wallet, pulls out a five-peso bill and hands it to Miriam.

 

Now, it’s his turn. He asks Miriam: ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ Miriam looks at him with a puzzled look.

 

She whips out her laptop computer and searches all her references. She taps into the phone with her modem and searches the Net. Frustrated, she sends E-mails to all her aides, assistants, and friends. All to no avail.

 

After over an hour, she admits defeat and hands Erap five 1000-peso bills. Erap says nothing, but politely accepts the P5,000 and turns away to go home.

 

Miriam is a poor sport and demands from Erap, ‘Well, so what IS the answer!?’

 

Without a word, Erap pulls out his wallet and gives Miriam another five pesos….

[howarddeduct]

I like this one....

 

anyway here's what I know...

 

If PRO is the opposite of CON, Is CONgres the opposite of PROgress?

 

:boo: :boo: :boo: :boo: :boo:

Very true. The reason I don't follow the CONstitution is because I follow PROstitution. :evil:

[amante]

Quote for the week:

 

"As far as I'm concerned...talk to my lawyer."

[rockybrawler]

I remember this SAN MIGUEL PALE PILSEN joke at the height of the Aquino Galman double murders

 

Sa

Airport

Nangyari

 

May

Isang

Galman

Umentra

Eh

Laglag

 

Patay

Aquino

Laglag

Eroplano

 

Putang

Imelda

Lusot

Sana

Eh

Nabuking!!!!

 

[amante]

I remember this SAN MIGUEL PALE PILSEN joke at the height of the Aquino Galman double murders

 

wow! panahon na un....bawal pa ako uminom ng beer!

 

 

 

sorry bro, just couldnt resist :hypocritesmiley:

[sniper93]

malapit na mag open si big brother... ipasok natin lahat ng mga Presidentiables para magkaalaman na ng mas maaga. For sure may bibigay sa mga yan. Im proposing this a second time. D na natin kailangan ng modernization sa comelec... txt na lang.

[amante]

malapit na mag open si big brother... ipasok natin lahat ng mga Presidentiables para magkaalaman na ng mas maaga. For sure may bibigay sa mga yan. Im proposing this a second time. D na natin kailangan ng modernization sa comelec... txt na lang.

ha ha!

not an entirely bad idea! :thumbsupsmiley:

[uaeboy25]

ha ha!

not an entirely bad idea! :thumbsupsmiley:

 

ang problem kung pagsasamasamahin ang presidentiable baka pumasok si willie nepomuceno.

:thumbsupsmiley:

[Ryuji_tanaka]

May sumigaw ng "Magnanakaw ang mga Arroyo!".

May nagreact "Pre, ang sakit mo naman magsalita!"

"Bakit Arroyo ka ba?"

"Hindi! magnanakaw ako! pero di kami ganun ka halang ang bituka!"

[wizard23]

Manny Pacquiao was holding a press con. beside him was Chavit Singson. in the middle of the press con, dumating at napadaan si FG Mike Arroyo sa press con ni Manny Pacquiao. bumulong si Chavit ke Pacman, "dumating si FG kahit late. i acknowledge mo na lang ang presence nya."

 

eto sabi ni pacman -

 

"I would like to acknowledge the late First Gentleman Mike Arroyo who just passed away."

[rockybrawler]

wow! panahon na un....bawal pa ako uminom ng beer!

 

 

 

sorry bro, just couldnt resist :hypocritesmiley:

Correct. 1983 yan bro but hindi pa din ako puede uminom ng beer nun. Ikinuwento lang sa akin ng sauna bath attendant.

[camiar]

Lost

 

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him,

 

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

 

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

 

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

 

"I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?"

 

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

 

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

 

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

 

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

[kawawangpinoy]

for txt msg

 

 

 

how do you know that when gloria is lying?

 

 

 

when her mouth is moving

[uaeboy25]

Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng kubeta

Nakapag chongke ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsada

Yan ang tanong namin tunay ka bang isa sa amin

Nalaman mo na bang mapapagrugby ka niya

Tutulungan tayo para maging sindikato at ang kanyang

plano ay magnakaw tayo!

 

 

Si Villar ang tunay na mahirap

Si Villar ang tunay na walang gilagid

Si Villar ang may kakayahan na gumawa

ng sariling sugalan

 

 

Si Manny Villar ang maghahakot ng ating Kayamanan!

 

 

(this was sent to me by my classmate...)

 

 

HERE ARE YOUR PRESIDENTIABLES:

VILLAR-tondo boy

NOYNOY- mama's boy

GIBO- admin boy

ERAP- lover boy

GORDON- amboy

EDDIE V.-altar boy

JAMBY M. - "If I were a boy"

 

 

hehe

[boydapa11]

every time you watch the commercial add of this presidentiable.

 

matatawa ka na talaga.

 

lalo yung bago ni ERAP, pinutol daw at kinitil ang na umpisahang kasaganahan.

 

MAY GANON?!?

 

hehehe.

 

haiiisst..

 

kawawang Juan, mukhang walang pag pipilian.