Writings of the Heart

[Dodong Schumacher]

Trust

The Cure

 

there is no-one left in the world

that i can hold onto

there is really no-one left at all

there is only you

and if you leave me now

you leave all that we were

undone

there is really no-one left

you are the only one

 

and still the hardest part for you

to put your trust in me

i love you more than i can say

why won't you just believe?

[the grudge]

THERE'S A STRUGGLE INSIDE ME.

 

YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN LIKE THIS. THIS IS ALL A TRULLY DIFFERENT FEELING. I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS.

I WAS USED TO BEING ALONE - ANONYMOUS. I WORK MYSELF DAY IN AND DAY OUT AND FOCUSED ON MY TASKS AT HAND. I WAS CONTENTED IN MY OWN COMFORT ZONE; NEVER INVOLVED, DIDN'T CARE MUCH ABOUT THE SURROUNDING PEOPLE. I ONLY HAD ACQUAINTANCES - NOTHING MORE. NO SPECIAL SOMEONE - - - UNTIL YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE.

 

EVERYTHING CHANGED. THIS HEART THAT USED TO LIVE ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS SUDDENLY STARTED BEATING FASTER, UNTIL IT CAUGHT ITS OWN UNIQUE RYTHYM. IN A SPECTRE OF A SHOW, IT FOUND A LIFE THAT WAS TRULLY AMAZING. IT LONGED TO BELONG AND FOOLISHLY IT SOUGHT YOU THINKING THAT YOU WERE "THE ONE"

HAPPINESS WAS UNEXPLAINABLE. IT GAVE ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT IT COULD POSSIBLY GIVE IN THE PURSUIT OF ITS GOALS TO SHARE THAT HAPPINESS WITH YOU.

 

YES, YOU ARE RIGHT. LOVE MAKES ONE VULNERABLE.

 

IT OPENED ITSELF TO THAT ONE PERSON, GIVING OUT EVERY DETAIL OF ITS EXISTENCE. WILLING TO SHARE EVERY TINY BIT OF INFORMATION IT COULD PULL OUT FROM ITS CHESTFULL OF MEMORIES HOWEVER TRIVIAL IT MAY BE. FOR HIM, IT WAS LETTING YOU KNOW WHO I WAS, AND WHO I AM THEN.

 

I THOUGHT THAT YOU LOVED ME IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THAT WORD SPELLED AS L - O - V - E. SUDDENLY, I WAS LIVING ANEW. MY FOCUS WAS NOW ON YOU FOR YOU HAVE GIVETH ME HOPE. INJECTED LIFE INTO MY VEINS. MADE ME FEEL HOW IT IS TO BE HAPPY AGAIN. ONLY TO BE FOOLED. WORSE, ONLY TO BE CROSSED.

 

YOU DESPISED EVERYTHING THAT WE DID. IN YOUR EFFORTS TO SHAKE YOURSELF CLEAN OF ME, YOU DIVULGED INFORMATION THAT WE WERE THE ONLY ONES THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW. I WAS DUMBFOUNDED. NO, I WAS SHOCKED IN DISBELIEF. HOW COULD THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DO THIS TO ME? HOW COULD SHE, WHOM I TRUSTED MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND ME BE SO *&^%&()!!!

 

YOU NOT ONLY DIDN'T KEEP THE MANY PROMISES THAT YOU SWORE YOU WOULD, YOU ALSO DISAVOWED THEM IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE. "I AM HOLDING ON TO YOUR PROMISES" WAS WHAT YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME. I WAS KEEPING THEM UNTIL I LEARNED YOU SIMPLY TRASHED THEM AWAY LIKE EMPTY PROMISES WRITTEN ON TOILET PAPER WASHED OUT IN THE COLD, DARK, SMELLY DEPTHS OF THAT STINKING HOLE SIX FEET UNDERNEATH.

 

WORSE, YOU EVEN MALIGNED THE ONLY ANGEL OF HOPE THAT I HAVE KEPT DURING THESE YEARS.

 

YES, I BECAME BITTER I WILL ADMIT TO THAT. THAT BITTERNESS MADE ME CURL UP AND SHUN AWAY EVERYTHING AROUND ME. NOW THE SUNLIGHT IS NO LONGER ENJOYABLE FOR I PREFER THE DARKNESS OF A COLD AND EMPTY SPACE. THIS WAS WHERE I WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

 

BUT SEEING YOU AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED MADE ME FURIOUS. HERE YOU WERE, ANNOUNCING THE TRUTH ABOUT US AND OUR DEEDS TO PEOPLE WHO YOU KNOW WILL BE HURT. YET YOU COULD NOT DARE COME CLEAN TO YOUR OWN CLAN. WHILE YOU WERE HOLDING HIS HAND AND LAUGHING AS IF I DIDN'T EXISTED AT ALL, YOU WERE CHOKING ME. I HEARD YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR PLANS TOGETHER IN THE FUTURE. IT MADE ME REMINISCE OF OUR OWN PLANS UNTIL IT HIT ME. I HAVE BEEN DUTIFULLY EXPENDED AKIN TO A TOY WHO HAS REACHED ITS USEFUL LIFE. A OLD TOY HAS RETURNED AND HE IS INSTANTLY A RENEWED FAVORITE. GONE WERE THE SWEET NOTHINGS; THE KISSES; THE PROMISES OF A BRIGHT AND HAPPY FUTURE TOGETHER.

 

I WAS BACK TO A FRIGID, COLD, AND DARK REALITY. YOU USED ME. WHETHER IT WAS SIMPLY TO SATISFY YOUR HUNGER FOR DELIGHT OR AN ILLUSION OF LOVE, YOU USED ME.

 

AND IT ALMOST DROVE ME TO INSANITY.

 

HENCE, I STORMED THAT PLACE YOU CALLED CASTLE TO LET YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE SHAMED; TO BE CROSSED. TO THE SATISFACTION OF MY CRAZY AND ANGERED MIND I ANNOUNCED ON YOUR BEHALF WHAT LIES BENEATH. THE CRUELTY I RECEIVED WAS THEREFORE RETURNED TO ITS GIVER.

 

THE KING OF MINDGAMES MEETS THE QUEEN OF MINDGAMES. IT OUGHT TO BE FUNNY. BUT SADLY I AM NOT AMUSED.

 

I WAS NEVER INTO IT. I NEVER LIKED BEING PLAYED - ESPECIALLY MIND-PLAYED. YOU KNOW I HAD ALWAYS BEEN UPFRONT ABOUT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING MY LOVE FOR YOU. NOW YOU EVEN ACCUSE ME OF BEING ITS KING?

 

I'VE GROWN A LOT MORE OLDER THESE DAYS. I DO NOT CLAIM BEING WISER THOUGH. AFTER BEING TRASHED LIKE s@%t, I HAVE RETURNED TO MY OLD MODE. SLUMPING. THE ONCE PERSON WHO CARED ABOUT THE WORLD NO LONGER CARES FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE. PERHAPS THIS IS A SIGN TO STOP CLINGING TO OLD HOPES; EMPTY PROMISES AND GET MYSELF REALLY CLEAN IN PREPARATION FOR MY JOURNEY TO THE NEXT. FUNNY DURING OUR DAYS MY BLOOD PRESSURE WAS NEVER A PROBLEM. WHY IS IT SINCE THAT SINCE YOU LEFT ME, I HAVE NEVER BEEN HEALTHY ANYMORE. MY BP HAS NEVER RETURNED TO NORMAL.

 

I WAS DETERMINED TO MOVE ON. NOW THAT I HAVE STUMBLED AGAIN ON YOU I AM AGAIN CONFUSED. ONE PART OF ME WANTS TO COMPLETELY FORGET AND TURN THE PAGE TO A NEW CHAPTER OF MY LIFE. THE OTHER PART OF ME WANTS TO RELISH AND CHERISH THE PAIN THAT YOU BROUGHT UPON ME. I AM IN A QUANDARY.

 

THERE IS A STRUGGLE INSIDE ME. AS TO WHAT IT WILL BRING, EVEN I DON'T KNOW.

[hungryenjoycoke]

IT WAS JUST SO SAD... SO SAD THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW EVERYTHING.

 

The TRUTH just hurts me so badly...now that I'm beginning to see... beginning to feel..

He was so thinking of himself and of what he knows...assuming everything is true.

 

I hate it... whatever he is doing now on his life. Destroying me in this room. Destroying me to other room.

Yeah.. I hurted him... but he hurted me more ---brutally... HE DESTROYED ME. Not just me...but himself as well.

 

I want to stop... because HE NEVER AND WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. Because he didn't want to talk nor even want to communicate.. I'm just so tired.

 

He would not accept me... as much as he didn't want to accept the truth.

 

It was so sad..SO SAD.

 

If I caused him to be like this...I AM SORRY...I hope he feels...but I think will not because he forever closed himself to me.

Its his decision....that I will forever be sorry.

After what has been said and done, well...maybe I have to move on. Start this life in scratch.

 

Memories still haunts me.... I will cherish them all...yeah..

 

I FORGAVE HIM.

From that I would go... live the right life that I should.

 

 

I plead for RESPECT. just that...nothing more.

 

LOVE? Saka na lang... I don't want to ask for it.Cause in the first place, am I being loved? Did he ever loved me? (from waht I see - well... ) Now the word L-O-V-E just confuses me.

 

I plead for RESPECT.

 

Just like what I have for him and for his loved ones -RESPECT.

 

If I see myself infront of him as the lowest scavenger, eating the geese that eats the worms that ate all those up. This is how he makes me feel...- a LOSER the fact that I AM. I guess thats what everybody makes me feel now... oh, even before... the only difference--Before, I was a HAPPY LOSER...but now? Oh, A LOSER in grief.

 

Please respect the LOSER HUNGRYENJOYCOKE.

 

I could DIE now, if he likes.. if that would save him or make him feel good...

I AM NOT AFRAID TO DIE BECAUSE I AM DEAD ALREADY... and I always dream to be...

 

I hope he would talk to me... but I don't think he would...nor would ever listen nor believe me.

 

Yeah... things are better left unsaid.

 

I don't want to argue anymore nor ipagsisikan or ipagpilitan ko pa ang side ko or ang sasabihin ko sa kanya. I am pushed to be like this. He pushed me outside...when he pushed me I was like a USED STINKING RAG (that you usually see at your house- rag that can never be re-used even washed).

 

I hate myself. I am unworthy of this life. I am unworthy of him. I am unworthy of love....-that I have to accept because that's how he makes me feel. Yeah... if i die today I would be the happiest.. eternal rest..

It means I could be a ghost. I would be free staring at him..watching him from a far...smiling, thinking that I have loved and lived to know this man....-SECRETLY.

 

I BEAR YOU NO ANIMUS, EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE DESTROYED ME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you bear me no animosity, (if you have loved me- if it was true) why do you treat me so badly?

 

 

I want to be stoical.

[the grudge]

RESPECT BEGETS RESPECT.

 

IF YOU PLEAD FOR SUCH, I CANNOT REFUSE IT.

 

IF YOU ONLY KNOW HOW MY HEART YEARNS FOR YOU INSPITE AND DESPITE OF THE HURT THAT WE'VE EXCHANGED.

I AM WILLING TO START AGAIN.

 

BUT I DON'T THINK YOU ARE READY.

 

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. HEART TO HEART. BUT YOU COULD NEVER BE FOUND.

 

I DROVE BY YOUR PLACE LAST NIGHT. HOPING TO GET A GLIMPSE OF YOU. BUT I WAS HEARTBROKEN AGAIN.

 

I AM A FOOL. I AM CRAZY. CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT. FOR IT IS THE TRUTH.

 

I AM SORRY I TURNED OUT LIKE THIS. THIS IS NOT ME THAT YOU KNEW.

DAMN EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED. I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

BUT IN THE PROCESS I DESTROYED BOTH OF US.

 

YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHERE I CAN BE REACHED. HAVE YOU KEPT MY MOBILE AND LANDLINE NUMBERS?

PLEASE DON'T TRY AT HOME. THEY HAVE BEEN CHANGED. EVEN OUR ADDRESS HAS BEEN CHANGED.

 

PLEASE DON'T THINK THAT I WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WHEN WE MEET OR TALK.

I JUST WANT TO SEE YOUR EYES. YOU SAY YOU WANT TO HOLD MY HAND.

 

I AM JUST HERE.

WANTING TO FEEL YOU.

[the grudge]

AHH. YOU'VE READ MY MESSAGE.

 

BUT STILL HAVE TURNED A DEAF EAR.

I GUESS YOU DO NOT DESIRE FOR US TO TALK.

 

YOU WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH

BUT SAY YOU I DO NOT WANT TO LISTEN.

 

HOW CAN I LISTEN?

WHEN THERE IS NO ONE I CAN LISTEN TO?

 

MY HEART IS TORN INTO MILLIONS OF PIECES.

IT WILL STAY THAT WAY.

YOU ARE THE GLUE THAT KEEPS IT TOGETHER.

BUT NOW THAT YOU ARE DRY

LET ME ANGUISH IN TEARS.

 

IT IS I THAT LONG TO DIE NOT YOU. NOT ANYONE ELSE.

 

ETERNAL REST GRANT ME O LORD

FORGIVE ME FOR MY WEAKNESSES.

 

....

[BallBreaker]

dude,

 

it feels just like yesterday when the lines "what the heck" and "fcuk it all" were thrown. it wasn't that long ago when we looked stoopid trying to stop ourselves from saying those three words fearing it might destroy something so perfect. good thing we did or else we wouldn't have realized that it would become better and better. good thing too that we decided to restrain ourselves till we no longer can contain it... at least we know that getting into this was a well thought of decision and wasn't done out of a whim. funny how we've transcended from that "friends with a spark" to being housemates and all. it's also funny how people who are so into "it" like us now sees it as an added bonus. sure, it still rocks, we still drive each other crazy, and you are sooooo great, but you were right... it's not the driving force anymore, the connection and relationship we have in and out of that nicely designed bedroom (eherm, eherm ) is. life's simple pleasures now makes our day and I never thought that people like us would find real, fulfilling happiness at the simplest of things. celebrating valentine's day and monthsaries are so not us, but... yeah... we've gone crazy. really. we've changed each other for the better, without even realizing it. you tamed me as much as I have tamed you, and what's funny is that it feels better this way. we both don't feel empty the morning after. in you i found contentment.

 

we've gone a long way dude, from life changing decisions to your ultimate sacrifices and my kakulitan. inspite of everything, you're still there. can't imagine how you could put up with that. thanks for waiting for me to finally unload all the baggage. your patience is one of a kind. the way you proved how much you love me and you being just as you are makes me love you all the more. thanks for being a partner and for relating - of which makes ours a real relationship. thanks for turning your world around in order to make the goal common. our future indeed looks bright. thanks for being the bestest friend /beer buddy/fubu/mentor/lover/everything in the whole wide world.

 

i never thought that it would only take one you to make me decided and vice versa. this is where it stops. this is it. period. infinity. no erasure. no liquid paper. it's you. it's me. it's US.

 

 

___ months and counting, dude... probation's nearly over.

 

 

I LOVE YOU, in its purest sense.

 

 

 

love and other indoor sports,

 

your esmi (heehee)

[dixiechiq]

Beb,

 

our song said it best... "things will fall apart but i know that i don't want you to go"

 

i knew at some point, i have to share my life with you. against all odds? yeah. kinda. well, yeah really. Anyway, not like it matters... see the things is... i love you so much. love you so much that i never thought i'd feel like that again. and you don't believe in love right? you've always thought that it's something exclusive for delusion addict. Man, for someone who composes and sings love songs, you're one heck of a cynic.

 

anyway, i dont really wanna make this a long drama s@%t but i just want you to know that, i'm glad i had what we had. whatever that was. I'm sorry if at times i fail you or your expectations... And no, please don't say sorry just because you think you should say something to me soon. Say something else. I wont believe the bull crap coming out of your traps anyway.

 

 

You'll always be my baby,

Dixiechiq

[engrlee]

alam ko na ilang beses ka naring umibig at nasaktan

at takot ka ng magmahal muli

pero bakit ayaw mo ng umasam?

na magamot ang puso mong sawi?

 

pareho lang tayo

naghahanap ng pagmamahal

kung maraari lamang na turuan ang baliw na puso

turuang pumikit at magmahal muli

 

pusong sugatan at puno ng peklat

pusong nagmahal at iniwan

sana maghilom ulit ang sugat

at muling magmahal

 

kung maari lamang na gamutin ang puso mo

ng pagmamahal, magagarang damit at alahas

kung maari lamang angkinin ang puso mo

kahit ang tinitibok nito ay ang nakaraan

[the grudge]

HEC,

 

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE HURTING OTHER PEOPLE?

 

HAVEN'T YOU HURT OTHERS ENOUGH BEFORE? DO YOU FIND SATISFACTION IN TELLING

WHAT I TOLD YOU? CAN'T YOU NOT KEEP IT JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF US?

 

IN MY EARNEST EFFORTS TO MAKE UP WITH YOU SOMEHOW, I OFFERED YOU UNSOLICITED HELP.

YOU NOT ONLY TURNED IT DOWN. WORSE, YOU HAD TO SPILL IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO

SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE PICTURE. THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE KNOWN FOR THEY WOULDN'T CARE

AND WILL NOT BENEFIT FROM IT. RATHER, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN YOU.

 

I WAS SHAMED WHEN THE LADY TOLD ME THAT YOU DISREGARDED THE OFFER BEFORE.

SHE GENTLY REPRIMANDED ME ABOUT REFERRING SOMEONE WHO NOT ONLY ISN'T INTERESTED,

BUT KINDA RUDE IN TURNING THE OFFER DOWN. - BUT THAT IS YOU. THAT I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT.

 

BUT SPILLING THE BEANS TO OTHERS HURTS ME AS WELL.

I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU DID TODAY. YOU OUGHT TO BE PROUD OF YOURSELF

FOR COMING UP AND LAYING IT DOWN. IT REMINISCES THE NOT SO DISTANT PAST WHEN YOU DID

THE VERY SAME THING.

 

OH MY. THERE GOES TRYING TO HELP,

WHEN HELP IS NOT APPRECIATED. EVEN DESPISED OF.

 

IS THIS YOUR FORM OF VENGEANCE?

YOU SAID YOU WANT TO BE STOICAL. IS THIS IS YOUR COMPREHENSION OF THE WORD?

YOU ALSO SAID YOU BEAR NO ANIMUS. WHAT IS THIS THEN THAT YOU ARE DOING?

YOU PLEADED FOR RESPECT AND I RESPONDED THAT I WILL.

DON'T YOU THINK I ALSO DESERVE SOME FROM YOU?

 

-----------------

ON THE OTHER HAND, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR UPDATING ME OF YOUR WHEREABOUTS.

NOW I CAN HAVE MY FAVORITE JAPANESE DISH WITHOUT THE ANXIETY OF

COMING ACROSS YOUR PATH. OR I CAN NOW HAVE MY CAKE AND LITERALLY EAT IT TOO.

 

PERHAPS A HAIRCUT? MANICURE? OR BRAKE PAD CHANGE ONE OF THESE DAYS?

 

TAKE CARE STILL. MOVE ON AS YOU HAVE DECLARED.

AS FOR MYSELF.....YOU DON'T CARE NAMAN DI BA?

Edited July 9, 2008 by the grudge

[hungryenjoycoke]

Nakakainis...mukhang galit na naman siya sa akin.

Though I really wanted to explain pero... why? I mean it would just be a long story.

Minsan talagang mas maganda pa rin na kayo na lang mag-usap para wala ng nababago sa istorya...

para wala na rin ang nadadamay.

But it can't be that way...

for some reasons...

I'm so afraid of those reasons as much as I am so afraid of him.

Alam ko na sobrang ikagagalit nya...

pero how would he accept na naipit lang ako sa sitwasyon ko..

 

Well, i'm glad he's trying to cope up...just like me...

Pero..

just like you

IT IS SOOOOO SOOOO SOOO DIFFICULT.

I feel like I am in Purgatory.

 

I am left behind.

far behind

 

I can't even show what I really feel... what I really want...

because I would not be understood..

 

 

My life would never be the same again.

 

I may show up vengeance...but at the bottom of my heart I'm the weakest, ready to send down to fury.

 

I am not afraid to die. Though, I already felt I am...dead.

 

well... still... I wish

I could see you ... in my dreams... or in the other world.

or in the next life.

 

Pero mas maganda if i could see you in God's time..in God's way..

 

hahaha...kilala na kita... you would still think that I am wise to say these things to you just to cover up and show up as if i'm right or what... i'm so galing... welll... its really upto you... really upto anyone's opinion.

 

I'm sorry. again.

 

I guess I'm so lost. terribly. insanely.

As much as I wanted to get up... I always felt so down..literally down..as in.

Plus the fact people who were far na nga still brings me down...walang patawad.

 

well... hay.... i still have your things with me.

still smelling the shirt

still reading the letters

 

why would i burn them...???

 

they all remind me of who I am.

of who I really was...

 

a loser.hoping someone someday will get me out-of-here.

 

i never say me praying to an angel is stupid.

upto now i didn't know to where she got that

 

hmmm....

 

well... i wanted to help you... to be happy... well..hindi ko man maibalik yung dating "happy"

at least I want to share you the sky...

 

i don't know sky (now) makes me happy atleast... i mean it makes me relax.. from the trauma..

from the phobia... from the heartaches...headaches...and bodyaches.

 

Try mo lang...sana ma-relax ka...

it would help you...

 

try to smile for an hour infront of the mirror... and say compliments to yourself..

 

i just lost a very good friend of mine.. ibinulong ko sa kanya na isama na niya ako sa kinalalagyan nya...

 

hmm.... pero andito pa rin ako sobrang andito pa rin..

 

the way i see it... she still wanted me to hope that there is still better things that would happen in this God-forsaken life.

 

hmm...

yeah right.

 

kung anu man yun gustong ipakita ni God sa kin..kahit gaano pa kaganda yun...parang ayoko na makita...parang ayoko na..so tired..so fed up...

 

thr truth is.

rebuilding is hard.. rebuilding oneself is hard.

i am starting in scratch..as in.

 

 

teka...

asan na ba tayo?

 

 

 

well... please smile..just for me OR for the skies..

 

we are under the same sky.

 

remember?

[the grudge]

HOW I STILL WISH YOU WILL PERMIT THAT WE TALK IN PERSON.

 

AS I HAVE ASKED IN THE PAST - JUST TALK. NO FIGHTS, NO DISCUSSIONS, NO ARGUMENTS. JUST TALK.

 

COMMUNICATION IS STILL THE KEY TO AN EFFECTIVE AND POSITIVE EXCHANGE OF ONE SIDE THE OTHER AND VICE VERSA.

 

BUT YOU ARE TOO AFRAID. DID I LEAVE A PERMANENT TATOO ON YOUR BACK?

 

----------

 

IT'S COMFORTING TO KNOW YOU STILL HAVE THOSE GIFTS.

 

AS FOR MYSELF, I HAVE THE CD. I MAY HAVE RETURNED THE COVER, BUT KEPT THE DISC.

 

YOUR PHOTOS ARE EMBEDDED IN MY PC

 

----------

 

I DID GO BY YOUR OLD PLACE THE DAY FOLLOWING THAT INCIDENT.

 

I WAS TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR LEAVING. I WAS SO HUNGRY I WAS DETERMINED TO EAT BREAKFAST THERE WITHOUT FEAR.

 

BUT I WAS DISMAYED BY THE NEWS THAT CONFRONTED ME.

 

----------

 

GOOD THAT YOU CAN FINALLY LOOK UP THE SKY.

 

I LEAVE SO EARLY FOR WORK NOW THAT I DON'T GET TO SEE THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY.

 

THEN COME BACK AFTER DUSK HAS SETTLED.

 

-----------

 

HAVE YOU READ OR HEARD THAT I LOST MY FAVORITE UNCLE?

 

I WHISPERED TO HIM ONLY GOOD THINGS TO COME UNTO ALL MY LOVED ONES - YOURSELF INCLUDED.

 

-----------

 

ONE OF THESE DAYS, WHEN YOU LOOK UP THE SKY, YOU WILL SEE ME FLY BY.

 

TAKE CARE ALWAYS. HERE'S A PRESENT FOR YOU...

[hungryenjoycoke]

I am teary eyed! I am smiling at the same time.. i wish to call you... pero... baka i would long for it eh... well... thanks. thank you... thank you so much...

where's your smile? :flowers:

[the grudge]

I am teary eyed! I am smiling at the same time.. i wish to call you... pero... baka i would long for it eh... well... thanks. thank you... thank you so much...

where's your smile? :flowers:

 

I WILL NOT FORCE YOU INTO DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO.

I CANNOT DO ANYTHING IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO CALL ME.

ALL I CAN DO IS WISH THAT YOU DO. MAYBE ONE DAY, MY WISH WILL BE GRANTED.

 

[Queen Darkeinjel]

it's been fun loving you...

 

for the short span of time that you allowed me to care for you, i am happy that i was given that chance...

but since love is never permanent, i'll let you go no matter how much it hurts...

 

forgive me, i am hurting...

let me cry it all out, let the tears wash away the pain...

let me drown in misery...

 

and hopefully, one day, i can look at you and say i don't love you anymore

[the grudge]

I MISS YOU.

 

SOMEBODY ASKED ME LAST NIGHT:

 

"YOU DO STILL LOVE HER, DON'T YOU?"

 

"TELL ME THAT YOU MISS HER"

I COULDN'T ANSWER IN A STRAIGHTFORWARD MANNER.

 

I CAN ONLY SMILE.

 

SHE KNEW THAT I STILL LOVE YOU.

 

SHE KNEW THAT I MISS YOU.

 

I KNOW SHE WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.

 

SHE IS MY OFFICEMATE WHOM YOU NEVER GOT TO KNOW.

 

SHE'S JUST A FRIEND, NOTHING MORE.