xiaolongbao

sakit sa kalooban magbayad ng midterms gamit ang sarili kong pera. HAHAHAHAHAHA

actually, di sad e. it made me cry :'| "red flag ka." , "nakakaturn off ka." , "mukha kang pera." at "wag ka kasing nangingialam." those words, coming from the person who claims to love you. (wala nga kong natatanggap na pera sa kanya, mukha pa kong pera.)

What if mag shift na ko sa BSBA habang 1st sem palang? what if lang naman. 😭

“Pera na lang.” Nagde-declutter ako ng mga gamit at imbes na ibenta, naisip kong ipadala na lang muna sa bahay namin sa Cavite para makapili si Mama. Kung may ayaw siya, saka na lang niya ibenta. Pero ’yan ang reply na natanggap ko. Ang hirap palang dumating sa puntong walang naniniwalang nauubusan ka rin ng pera. Retired therapist na ako, kaya sobrang layo na ng kinikita ko ngayon kumpara dati. Sa ngayon, wala akong regular na pumapasok na income—puro palabas mula sa ipon: tuition, baon, school expenses, sariling bills, at iba pang responsibilidad. May ipon pa naman ako, pero unti-unti rin iyong nauubos habang walang pumapalit. Minsan naiisip kong bumalik na lang sa dati kong industry para mapunan lahat, kasi parang hindi talaga kakayanin ng regular na trabaho. Ang hirap maging mahina kapag sanay ang lahat na ikaw ang laging may kaya.

gulat na gulat yung mga classmates ko sa age ko (ilang taon din kasi ako nagstop) kala nila ka-edad ko lang sila (18) face card never declines HHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

Five years ago, a client changed the direction of my life. He asked me to stop working as a therapist and promised na siya na ang magpo-provide sa akin. Because of him, I went back to school. He paid for my needs, gave me a weekly budget, spoiled me with gifts, took me everywhere with him, and even shouldered my rhinoplasty. But more than the things he gave, he made me feel like I deserved a better life. We were together for one and a half years—the happiest eighteen months of my life. Our relationship wasn’t perfect, especially because he was already married. We fought and had problems, but he never used everything he provided against me. Never niya akong pinaramdam na may utang na loob ako. Kapag siya ang mali, marunong siyang mag-sorry at manuyo. Hindi ako kailangang maghabol just because he held the financial power in our relationship. Eventually, we had to let each other go. I returned to work and had to pause my studies, but I never went back to being a therapist. For that alone, I will always be thankful to him. Maybe it’s unfair, but no one I met after him ever made me feel as cared for as he did. Sometimes, I still look at his life from afar. I see how successful he has become, and even though I’m no longer part of that life, I’m still proud of him. To you, J—thank you for loving the version of me that was still trying to find her way. I know we can’t bring back what we had, but I’ll never regret those eighteen months. Now, I’m back in school as a working student, still rebuilding my life—and a part of the woman I am today will always exist because you once believed in me.

Lason ang pag-ibig sa babaeng may pangarap. So no, dont follow your heart haha.

92/100 - Financial Accounting & Reporting. PRELIM. kahit minsan ang hirap hanapin ng pangbayad sa tuition ko, ito yung cocomfort eh 🥺 laban, future CPA.

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Saan maya maganda mag lunch and dinner if mag ENCHANTED KINGDOM? pwedeng along the way from bacoor to laguna for lunch, then dinner is after EK na around laguna or way pauwi ng parañaque. any suggestions please.

minsan ka nalang mapasama sa highest scores ng cost accounting, bagsak pa kayong lahat. 🫠 hays

Im sad because, I posted my FAR quiz score 32/60 and for once, I was genuinely happy na naka-half ako because accountancy has been really challenging for me. Then someone I used to be classmates with in SHS posted, “Anong score ’yan, beh, pamasahe?” I don’t even know for sure if it was about me, but the timing made me feel like it was. Siguro kaya rin ako na-hurt kasi napaisip ako, kung sila kaya ilagay sa course ko ngayon, would they find it that easy too? Hindi ko sinasabing mas mababa or mas madali yung courses nila. Education,HRM and BSBA have their own struggles. I guess masakit lang kasi I never mocked them for the path they chose, so sana hindi rin ginagawang katatawanan yung small win ko. I know 32/60 isn’t a high score. But for me, today, it was something worth being proud of kasi I was expecting zero na nga dahil hindi ko natapos kasi hindi nagbalanse eh. 🫠 but good thing na as long as nasa tamang account naka entry, at tama ang debit credit, may 1-2 points na. so ayon. tangina nila. HAHAHAHAHA

I think one of the hardest things I carry is the feeling na parang hindi naman talaga ako yung pipiliin in the end. Parang nasanay na ako sa idea na eventually, may darating na someone better, easier, or more lovable than me. Ang dami ko nang beses nakita kung paano unti-unting lumalayo ang mga tao, nag-iiba, o nakakahanap ng ibang mas gusto nila. Kaya siguro nahihirapan akong maniwala kapag may nagsasabing magtatagal, o kapag may nagpaparamdam na safe ako. Because every time I start believing, something happens that reminds me na puwede pa rin akong maiwan sa gilid habang iba ang nagiging priority. At doon ako pinaka-natatakot. hindi sa walang magmahal sa akin, kundi sa paulit-ulit na pakiramdam na hindi ako ang unang pipiliin. Kaya kahit may nagmamahal sa akin ngayon, may part pa rin sa akin na laging naghahanda sa possibility na one day, may makikilala silang mas matatawanan nila, mas makakausap nila, o mas mamahalin nila kaysa sa akin. And I hate that I think this way. Pero kapag ilang beses ka nang nasanay mapalitan, mahirap talagang maniwala na this time, someone will stay and choose you fully, consistently, and hanggang dulo.

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