cho_clitz888 Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 ahh! this happend to me already a few months my x and i broke up... a guy I became friends with started making his moves on me.. I told him " EH, AYOKO NAMAN SA IYO EH!" Quote Link to comment
strong_cock Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 At some point in our lives, we are faced with the difficult decision of breaking up with the person that we care about deeply, but no longer love. The question most people ask is how to break up with the person without causing too much pain, or psychological damage.Most men feel too guilty to break up with their girlfriend, postpone it until a later date, and delay the inevitable. Other men simply drop the bomb coldly, without any notice. A man should exit gracefully by planning the break up, to minimize the grief caused to his partner. It also helps to be nice about the breakup, because you never know who your ex will be talking to (her friends, your boss, potential girlfriends). As the dumper , breaking up is never easy, especially when you are consumed with guilt. You start to regret making all those promises about riding off with her into the sunset. Breaking up with your girlfriend is a time of disillusionment, primarily because you never planned to break up with her in the first place. Some men feel guilty about hurting the other person, and torture themselves by staying in the same sticky situation. This is unfair to the man as well as the woman. Remember that if the happiness in the relationship just isn't there for you, then it's probably not there for her either - she just hasn't realized it yet. Maybe she is too comfortable to make a decision. Don't feel guilty about breaking up, because you'll only be saving both of you a lot of trouble in the long run There is no easy way out. The ignore her 'till she goes away approach never works. There is no closure for her, and therapy sessions will soon follow. The I think you're a great girl and I don't deserve you line will seem okay to her at first, but later she will be devastated when she realizes that you lied because you were just being nice. Honesty really is the best policy. Treating the relationship, and the person, with respect and dignity helps soften the blow. Breaking up is hard to do, but there is only one way to break up with someone; in person. If you don't, you are a coward who obviously has neither the integrity, nor the sincerity, to tell her that your relationship is over. Telling her in person is never easy, but you owe it to her to break the news to her personally. This means not on the phone, definitely not over e-mail, but rather, in the flesh. Also, tell her ahead of time that you need to talk. This gives her a clue that something is up, and will allow her to prepare for what is coming. She might get emotional when you tell her the sad truth, so you might want to break up with her in the public eye. This will make it easier for you to get your full message across before she interrupts you by crying. I suggest that you invite her out for lunch at the same place you first met. The symbolic significance of your relationship having come full circle can help in the closure process of getting over the breakup. When telling her the awful truth, come clean, and be sure to keep a serious face. Say the words sincerely, leave no room for doubt, and never back down- especially when she starts to cry and you feel horrible. There is no room for any white washing or delaying. That will only make matters worse, and further prolong your agony. As the dumpee , the dreams of riding off with her man into the sunset have suddenly been shattered, and her plans for the future have suffered a severe blow. Suddenly, life does not seem worth living any more. Everyone thinks that his or her own breakup is unique, and must have been the most traumatic one in history. The truth of the matter is, breakups always follow the same pattern, and life does go on. The dumpee will meet new people, have new experiences, and her breakup will be but a distant memory, a signpost in your colorful life. Going through a bad breakup, and surviving it, really gives you a jaded, cynical outlook on life, whether you were the dumper, or thedumpee. It's possible that you'll both feel that the sky is no longer as blue, and that the grass will never be as green, especially right after the breakup. Nothing is ever the way you expected it to turn out. Breaking up is no different. The most difficult part is how to deal with the person that was just dumped. Do you call them up and ask them if they're okay? Do you stay friends? Do you talk to them on the phone? The best thing to do after a breakup is to not do anything. Don't call the dumpee back, because you'll be giving her mixed messages. Give her the time to recuperate from the breakup, (three months to one year). If she calls you back, talk to her nicely, but don't show that you're still interested. The worst thing you could do to another person after breaking up with them, is pretend that you still want to get cozy with them for just one more night. When it's over, keep it that way, and don't leave any room for doubt. Quote Link to comment
missmanners Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 "there's no easy way to break somebody's heart"... unless there was some either heinous reason to just dump her and treat her like sh*t (like if she f*cked you over or something...), then it is best to be HONEST, FIRM and as DIPLOMATIC as possible. it will be difficult. there will be debates, heated discussions on whys and why nots. there will be pathetic pleading and begging. but so long as you're sure... it is best to be HONEST and tell her the truth as early as possible. this saves time for heartbreak recuperation, et al. be FIRM. if you are sure that a break up is what you want, don't lead her on. don't have a one last romp. don't still be sweet. cut off communication if necessary. how will you get over somebody (and allow her to get over you) if you are still in each others' lives? yes, it might sound cruel. but in the long run, this will be much better for both parties. and be DIPLOMATIC. notice that i didn't say gentlemanly. because no matter what, the girl will think you're an a*s anyway. but i assume that there is still some love involved and therefore, this should prompt you to still be nice and not resort to being an outright a*shole. hope i helped. Quote Link to comment
strong_cock Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 "there's no easy way to break somebody's heart"... unless there was some either heinous reason to just dump her and treat her like sh*t (like if she f*cked you over or something...), then it is best to be HONEST, FIRM and as DIPLOMATIC as possible. it will be difficult. there will be debates, heated discussions on whys and why nots. there will be pathetic pleading and begging. but so long as you're sure... it is best to be HONEST and tell her the truth as early as possible. this saves time for heartbreak recuperation, et al. be FIRM. if you are sure that a break up is what you want, don't lead her on. don't have a one last romp. don't still be sweet. cut off communication if necessary. how will you get over somebody (and allow her to get over you) if you are still in each others' lives? yes, it might sound cruel. but in the long run, this will be much better for both parties. and be DIPLOMATIC. notice that i didn't say gentlemanly. because no matter what, the girl will think you're an a*s anyway. but i assume that there is still some love involved and therefore, this should prompt you to still be nice and not resort to being an outright a*shole. hope i helped. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Listen up lads....to avoid prolong heartaches. ....always dump "her" fast. In a relationship there's only one parachute.If you think the plane's going down, make sure you jump out first. :evil: Quote Link to comment
black cat Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 I just noticed with guys... if they wanna break-up with the girl, they prefer to just give her the "cold treatment". Won't visit her anymore, won't call her or even return her calls, etc.. until the girl gets so frustrated and yun girl na ang makipag-break. Nakakainis yun di ba.. kaya when my guy bestfriend was doing the same thing to his would-be ex gf... I was so mad at him and I asked him to just tell his would be ex the truth.. he said, "napaka-ungentleman naman" daw if he'll do that. And most of the guys I've known, puro ganun din. Bat nga ba ganun guys? Di ba mas bastos naman kung ganun? I mean.. for me, I'd prefer that he tell me straight to my face that he doesn't want me anymore then just walk away.. one click sakit na lang kesa naman unti-unti nya pa ko i-torture. As for me, if I wanna dump him, I'll just tell him straight that we better end the relationship since it's no longer working. Funny thing lang, madalas hihirit pa ng aayusin daw, etc.. eh sa ayaw na nga eh. Hindi kaya obvious yun? Ang hirap pa tuloy mag-explain. :hypocritesmiley: Quote Link to comment
daemon Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Straight to the point, hell it hurts but you have to be honest. Things will just work out fine in the long run and one day down the road she'll appreciate it. Quote Link to comment
Grimace Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 "im entering a new congregation...or that i'm getting married and its not you its me..i dunno go figure!! Quote Link to comment
mr.big Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 basically we are all selfish. that we always think about ourselves, our own happiness.and we get easily get scared of the what ifs or the uncertainty, we are like a lost puppy, thats why i guess ending a relationship is hard. Quote Link to comment
arrow Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 i never realized how wonderful being alone is. i know,its full of s**t,la ako maicip eh.hirap gumawa ng things that wud deliberately hurt a lady eh. Quote Link to comment
servo101 Posted October 16, 2004 Share Posted October 16, 2004 well, i havent exactly dumped someone...i've always been the dumpee. that sucks but i learn to live with it. however, as of late, on of my exes has been asking if there is a chance we could get back together again. and she did it via text, how crass can you get...but teh snide details of the encounter are: her: musta na? miss mo ba ako? miss na kita. i still love you. sorry sa mga nagawa ko. sa tingin mo may chance pa tayo magkabalikan?me: as friends, oo. as BF-GF, malabo na. sori poher: ganun ba? no more text after that. maybe i sorta mini-dumped her then, i dunno. it really didnt feel bad. i didnt feel justified or anything. wala na kasi talaga akong feelings or whatever for her. tsaka annoying yun ganun diba? nakipagbalikan via text. the least she could have done was call me (sorry, mini rant there). i mean i could always have ridden it out, playing the nice BF and getting free sex in return pero that isnt something im proud of doing... Quote Link to comment
in_style Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 i think that u owe it to your partner and ex-to-be to say it straight to the point.sugar-coating it will only add up to the pain. sooner or later, ur ex will find out. Quote Link to comment
Bungo The Elder Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 I just noticed with guys... if they wanna break-up with the girl, they prefer to just give her the "cold treatment". Won't visit her anymore, won't call her or even return her calls, etc.. until the girl gets so frustrated and yun girl na ang makipag-break. Nakakainis yun di ba.. kaya when my guy bestfriend was doing the same thing to his would-be ex gf... I was so mad at him and I asked him to just tell his would be ex the truth.. he said, "napaka-ungentleman naman" daw if he'll do that. And most of the guys I've known, puro ganun din. Bat nga ba ganun guys? Di ba mas bastos naman kung ganun? I mean.. for me, I'd prefer that he tell me straight to my face that he doesn't want me anymore then just walk away.. one click sakit na lang kesa naman unti-unti nya pa ko i-torture. As for me, if I wanna dump him, I'll just tell him straight that we better end the relationship since it's no longer working. Funny thing lang, madalas hihirit pa ng aayusin daw, etc.. eh sa ayaw na nga eh. Hindi kaya obvious yun? Ang hirap pa tuloy mag-explain. :hypocritesmiley:<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Noong unang panahon... Actually bata pa ako noon, mas immature pa (mas immature na nga, wala naman akong sinabing mature na ako ngayon e). Guilty rin naman ako ng ganoong gawain, actually ginawa ko pa yun sa wife ko noon (gf ko pa lang siya noon). Ang katwiran ko noon, feeling ko e nagpapakagentleman ako na binibigyan ko siya ng opportunity na maunang makipag-break sa akin. Sa sobrang inis ba. Tapos ayaw na ayaw ko ng babaeng umiiyak. Naiiyak din ako e. Pangit kasi akong umiyak. Tutuluyan na nga akong hiwalayan nun. Pero noon yun. I found out na it's better to face her tapos banatan mo nang isang malupit na... "Hon, I think it's time that we should talk" Quote Link to comment
Grimace Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 my friend Anthony just said something on the chat...."never really had to do it. the girls ended up dumping me" Quote Link to comment
Grimace Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 hmmm i told this guy before..."im just not into any relationship right now...we're absolutely not compatible..sometimes i ignore him na lang,not returning his calls, not answering the door,just totally dissed the guy... Quote Link to comment
:: butterfly_kisses :: Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 --> it's not working.. --> im better off without you.. --> i don't love you anymore.. Quote Link to comment
cho_clitz888 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 i really dont like you, im so sorry!i dont feel anything when im with you anymore. Quote Link to comment
cho_clitz888 Posted October 18, 2004 Share Posted October 18, 2004 there are just some things that should NOT be given out nicely!there are some girls who simply just cant get it! Im a girl, but I dont feel any pity at all to the other girl when my guy broke up with her. Well, maybe im just furious with her. I just want my guy to tell her what he really felt about her, even if that means... breaking her heart in a very painful way he can ever think of! ive had been harrassed by her then... she did an emotional blackmail to him then... that made him choose her over me.. even though the guy two tymed us, I realized now as to WHY he did it... Gosh! she is one LUNATIC GIRL! and i wont even care if ill be the one to tell that HE DOESNT LOVE HER, VAMOOSE! GET OUT OF HIS LIFE FOREVER, GET LOST! at her face! Quote Link to comment
strong_cock Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 I discussed the proper ways to prepare your partner for the disappointment of an eventual breakup. This is probably the easiest part of the whole breakup process. The most difficult part is when it's time to actually deliver the message in the clearest possible way, and without sending mixed messages. The objective is to deliver the message so that you get it across while minimizing the pain, without backtracking. The following is an example of what not to say. The message here is unclear, and the dumpee is still not sure about where the relationship stands.- "There's something on my mind that I've been wanting to say to you for a while. I still care for you a lot, in fact I love you very much, but not in the same way." - "What are you saying?" - "I'm not sure, but I think that we're having problems, and maybe we should take some time off. You see, I'm not sure how I feel, but maybe we shouldn't see each other any more." - (She starts to cry) "What do you mean? I love you so much." - "No, no, don't cry, ahh, it's not what I meant. Please don't cry, it's just some time off. Maybe we can get back together in a couple of months. I was only kidding, I wanted to see if you really cared for me." kidding, I wanted to see if you really cared for me." PREPARE THE SPEECH It is crucially important to have the dumping speech prepared for many reasons. The most important reason is that you don't want to have to repeat yourself. It's hard enough the first time; you don't need to say it a second time. You cannot beat around the bush while you improvise what you should say. Once you've started the dumping speech, you have to finish it. Otherwise, you'll only be torturing her. The perfect speech comes from much preparation and practice. Before you even open your mouth, you should know exactly what you are going to say, how you will say it, and why you're saying it. The following questions and guidelines should help you prepare for your big dumping speech. ASK YOURSELF Ask yourself the following questions, and pick the answer that best corresponds with how you feel. Put all the statements together, and you'll have the perfect speech. 1. NAME OF THE PERSON YOU ARE BREAKING UP WITH 2. HOW YOU THINK SHE WOULD FEEL ABOUT THE WHOLE BREAK UP? I know this is hard for you. I know this is terrible for you. I know you won't take this well. I really wanted to be with you forever. I like you very much. 3. DESCRIPTION OF THE RELATIONSHIP Our relationship is not working out. Our relationship is on the rocks. I am not happy in the relationship. I feel like I need more space to myself. The relationship is not what I hoped for. Every time I see you, I get an uncontrollable rash. 4. WHERE DO YOU STAND? I can't go on like this. I cannot continue living this lie. I can't continue with our relationship. We can't be together anymore. 5. HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT HER? I think you are a wonderful person. You are a wonderful lover. You are a wonderful human being. You are a joy to be around. You are a kind person. 6. WHAT YOU THINK SHE DESERVES INSTEAD OF YOURSELF? You don't deserve a jerk like me. You really deserve a better person than me. You should be with a person that doesn't take you for granted. You should not be with an ungrateful person such as myself. 7. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FEELING THIS WAY? For a long time now. For a few months now. For a few weeks now. As long as I can remember. Only recently. 8. WHY DID YOU NOT BREAK UP EARLIER? I thought we would be able to work things out. I wanted to wait to see if things worked out. I thought things would work out. I thought things would get better. I wanted to wait to see where things would go. I thought that with time, things would get better. 9. YOUR FEELINGS OF REGRET? I am such a jerk for doing this. I am so sorry if you feel I betrayed you. I am sorry that I hurt you like this. 10. WHAT SHE DESERVES? You deserve to find someone else. You deserve better than this. You should meet new people. You deserve a new boyfriend. You deserve someone who will treat you better. 11. WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS TOWARDS YOURSELF? I blame myself for this mess. I never wanted to hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for this. I hate myself for doing this to you. 12. WHY ARE YOU LEAVING HER? It just isn't working anymore. It's time to move on. We have to take different paths. I just don't love you anymore (the toughest one to say). There's someone else. I just don't feel the magic anymore. 13. DO YOU BLAME YOURSELF? It's not your fault. It's all my fault. None of this is your fault. 14. HER CONSOLATION. I'll always cherish the time I spent with you. I'll never forget you. I am crazy for leaving you. I'll forget you. I'll never forget what a great person you are. 15. DESCRIBE THE CURRENT RELATIONSHIP Over Finished. All behind us now. 16. STILL FRIENDS? We can still be friends. We can still see each other from time to time. We will always remain friends. We'll keep in touch. It's best if we no longer see each other. Now that you have more or less of an idea of what you can say, all you have to do is put the message together. Using the top line of each question, here's an example of a dumping speech. "(NAME OF THE MTC MEMBER), I know this is going to be hard for you, but our relationship is not working out. I can't go on like this. I think you are a wonderful person, and you don't deserve a jerk like me. I've been feeling this way for a long time now. I did not want to tell you this earlier because I thought we would be able to work things out. I am such a jerk for doing this to you. You deserve to find someone else. I really blame myself for all this mess, but it just isn't working anymore. It's not your fault. I'll always cherish the times we've spent together, but the relationship is over. I would still like to remain friends." You see, breaking up can be a lot easier if you arrive prepared. Put your speech together, practice it, and don't back down. Good luck. Quote Link to comment
hotchic_primrose Posted October 24, 2004 Share Posted October 24, 2004 this is common... it's not you..it's me... haha... Quote Link to comment
Iya_kin Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 you were right: i only used you for sex. Quote Link to comment
Grimace Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 trict parents ko...we are chinese! Quote Link to comment
ayatolah Posted October 25, 2004 Share Posted October 25, 2004 OOUUCCHH! :cry: mukhang yung ibang line narinig ko nitong sept 20 ah...."dont love you anymore, nagsawa na ko" :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: tas nalaman ko me iba na pala kahit na nung kami pa :cry: :cry: :cry: Quote Link to comment
Grimace Posted October 26, 2004 Share Posted October 26, 2004 mayroon ako dapat kameet sa starbucks noon....s**t nakita ko..tang'ina..ang pangeet...i ran inside the mall tapos tawag ng tawag sa cellphone ko.."ikaw ba yung nakaglasses?" sabi ko, sabi niya "oo" "ikaw ba yung nakabag" "oo ako nga" sabi niya...hayun...syet....pinaantay ko siya sa starbucks ng matagal,naawa din ako.....pinuntahan ko na lang....sabi ko di kami bagay...basta ayoko sa panget.....yuck! Quote Link to comment
Grimace Posted November 15, 2004 Share Posted November 15, 2004 ... for ending the relationship. We've all heard the famous "It's not you, it's me." line But do you know of any others? ... that either happened to you, someone you know, or you heard on the grape vine. Perhaps you'd like to invent a new one? Be creative! Let's hear 'em & have a good laugh ... or else get thoroughly, thoroughly outraged! Quote Link to comment
Guest chunky Posted November 16, 2004 Share Posted November 16, 2004 "I need time for myself to think," "You deserve someone better," and "We can still be friends," to which I replied "Maybe, someday," which concurrently became the title of the song I just finished writing. Quote Link to comment
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