The Mail Box

[LostCommand]

Musings at the Towers

 

Another chapter opens in this wandering nomad's life. Another city, another office. Another mission to complete for this far-flung, specialised outfit whose employ I chose to join near a decade ago. How many cities, towns, and intensifying missions has it been since? Three? Five, perhaps?

 

I have lost count. How many more?

 

I stand on the lonely higher levels of these magnificent twin towers. Below, the whole city, shiny and shabby sections alike, are under my sightless gaze. I turn inwards...

 

In my quiet mind a line from the Lord of the Rings unfolds, regarding Aragorn the future King Elessar's early life: "He fought under many banners, and won renown under many names. He knew the enemy, and all his ways"

 

Would that it would be so simple, that we know that we are to someday encounter a monstrous foe and his minions, and therefore all of our efforts and direction must be towards besting this penultimate challenge. After this is accomplished, we can then live contentedly in some mountain retreat, getting on with our lives and enjoying decent lays.

 

But no, instead we face a faceless enemy. We face rather a shadow or a stain of enemies over the whole country. We face numberless little blood-sucking orcs embedded in all levels of society, without a single leader, whom should he be slain, will scatter the whole filthy brood. Going about breaking their necks one by one will take too many years to endure, with the few allies we have. What are the rules to follow then?

 

A British general once told his soldiers that one of the best rules to obtain a win is to simply keep murdering the other side with as few losses to yourself as possible. No rocket science to it, just plain and simple planning and trickery, este, tactics. The enemy, after all, is probably about as unsure as you are anyway. So play on that, and play on that first.

 

In such a situation of a dispersed but non-united forces of corruption and backwardism, the best thing to do is to concentrate the attention of the enemy on yourself, so they come out of their hidey holes and solidify into a mass of bugs that you can see. Once they have so concentrated as to be easily visible, then murdering them becomes more efficient (of course you will need some helping hands in the thirsty work of stabbing and cutting) and way way faster. Then do it again, once more presenting a visible target for them to try to milk and despoil. And so on. The old suck-them-out-then-hammer-them trick, plain and simple. Gen. Montgomery would love this.

 

So here I am, training under many banners and fighting under many names. Playing it straight and by the rules. Going up fair and square, perhaps a local leader or businessman someday, establishing a secure bulwark in some town or province somewhere. Still playing it straight..

 

All the while secretly itching and preparing for a fight against the first (big time) orc-born SOB who will not play straight. Meanwhile gathering friends, fellow thinkers, connections, hitmen, and maintaining a personal skill in guns and leadership. Dreaming of nabbing that SOB and other such SOBs, using an iron pipe on them until they die (may take several hours, need to rest in-between beating sessions, your arms go weary after a while). Waiting for the ecstatic feeling of dumping the bruise-mushy body somewhere, with a written taunt to his ilk, written on the skin with a electric drill for a pen. Then denying any involvement, laying the blame on "enemies he may have made in his life" or even the NPA. Maintaining my respectable, family man image...

 

It is a war, and there are no rules, except, maybe, never to get caught nor to be under suspicion. It is a black and white war in our country now, and who says only the other side can use force, guns, deception, propaganda, intelligence services, electronics, connections, silent poisons, and hidden murder? It is a war, plain and simple, and I intend to get rich running my businesses straight and fair, while preparing to deal with the unfair ones secretly and bloodily.

 

How I long to start the killing sprees again! The bad ones have not been dying fast enough recently.

 

So now, we are in training, mission after mission, overseas at that. I should be happy, for I am learning how to properly run a straight business at the hands of masters. At the same time, I need to keep in touch with the "alternative side of the law", for I will need them in about a decade more. Therefore I must start developing better relations with them this early. Perhaps give them a mission or two right now...

 

The dark forces and black magic, these are not the monopoly of the devil alone. We are not angels, after all, who can not touch the demon magic. We are men, stuck in the middle, who can touch both sorts of magic, and live.

 

Perhaps, slowly, our numbers will increase, and all this religious, prayer rally bullshit "for peace" will cease, and we can get down to the business of killing and taking down orcs, so that we can get on with our lives and lays. Lets face the music and draw our demon swords; all of us born humans were given at least one such sword at birth, and not just a pair of angel wings. Let's use BOTH types of gifts, and maybe this will be a better country for all.

 

We need more people with every intention of succeeding in business and profession fairly and squarely, every preparation to coolly ambush and murder the orcs attracted to all that glitter, and every eagerness to get started.

 

I do not know how many missions more I will undergo, before I get to the thick of the fight and get my chance at orc stabbing. For comfort, I turn to the words of my late Jesuit teacher, who said that we are all "...works under construction". We merely work hard for the dreams that were put into our hearts, and trust that, at the end, the final result will be for the best.

 

k*ll them all!!

 

LC

[Mayella]

B,

 

it pains me so much to have to hear those words from time to time. the sad truth is, you can never be mine alone and i can never be totally yours as well. i don't know anymore if this is even worth our time since the future seems so bleak.

 

L

Edited May 21, 2004 by mayella76

[wjc-934]

jean,

 

galit ako sayo!!

 

ayaw momg ituwid ang takbo ng buhay mo!!!

ayokong mag reply sa mga txt mo!!

basta!! galit ako sayo!!

[Mayella]

From Friend to Lover

 

Gazing into a starlit sky

my mind wanders to a time not so long ago.

A time of beauty

yet a time of sadness.

As two strangers met

unaware of the love they would know.

 

At first the words were those of friendship.

Perhaps wanting more but in fear their feelings were maintained

With each talk the feelings became more intense.

Then words of passion were exchanged.

 

Now, unable to hold back their desires.

The truth was finally known.

Through friendship

an undying love had grown.

 

As one told the other of their desires

the intensity grew.

They wanted to be together

but could not

for fear of the lives they then knew.

 

The fears of past loves gone wrong

placed doubt where faith should have been.

As a love of intense desire was cast aside

into what could have been.

 

As time passed

fear became the predicator

Thus, love became part of that fear

Leaving sadness where beauty was once

turning happiness into tears.

 

The same undying love

still lives in the hearts

of these two lovers

Both emerged in a world of uncertainties

never proving their love to one another.

 

This cannot be their fate.

Can this story not have a happy ending?

Where the past and all doubts are cast aside.

Then at last their beautiful love shall be ascending.

 

Perhaps,

he shall say the words she has longed to hear

Then, together

they could conquer all doubt and fear.

 

In knowing he cares

she shall put her faith in the love she has for him.

Therefore,

all else shall diminish

as the wonder of their eternal love transcends.

 

Thus, all does not seem to be as dismal

as I was first comprehending.

True love shall prevail

when all else fails

leaving love and happiness as their elated ending.

Edited May 21, 2004 by mayella76

[Chito]

To my father,

 

I have nothing else to ask, and nothing else to say to you.

 

Let's keep it that way, ok?

 

=====Chito

[Chito]

To my inspiration,

 

At this time, you are one of the few things that make my life beautiful. And although I think you have a superficial idea, I wish I could go wherever it is that you are and tell you how much you really mean to me. Take care.

 

=====Chito

[roxysnonie]

honey dear,

 

i am out of words to describe the feeling...

 

even if there were, it would not equal or truly explain as to what i truly feel and what you mean to me,

 

thank you for letting me experience this once lost feeling!

Edited May 11, 2004 by roxysnonie

[irshes]

Just thinking about being near you again excites me.

I long to breathe in your scent, see your smile, hold your hand. I want to feel your pulse, make it race, bite your lips. I cannot leave my mark on you. Will you then let me bite your lip again, make those red lips even redder? I love to taste your blood. I want to feel your teeth on my skin, biting hard. Make me shudder in sweet, silent pain. No one will know. Let's play our game once more.

The danger exhilarates me. I can't wait to see you tonight.

[Mayella]

dear B,

 

i realize that it cannot go on like this forever. it would be like some masochistic act on my part -- tormenting myself everytime i bear witness to it. i suppose you are right about not giving me what i truly deserve. it all makes sense now.

 

L

Edited May 21, 2004 by mayella76

[Mayella]

dear M,

 

what was i thinking?! you should probably hit me on the head right now to put some sense into me. how will i ever make it up to you?

 

L

Edited May 21, 2004 by mayella76

[wjc-934]

wal parin!!!!

 

ang tagal na!!!

 

ano ba naman!!!!!

[moonflower]

i don't know why you still cross my mind. what makes this crazier is that i was once hurt but now i am no longer hurting. i just remember you as how i love you...as that guy that I said yes to and have risked my heart for. and i'd rather be this way, wistful, but not angry and hurting. i'd rather be happy for you though you are far away than have you near and be happy only for myself. i love you so much...i miss you. i feel that a simple glimpse of you will make me feel like i've been to the moon... and back right here where i am seated at this very moment. i don't know what it is and nor can I explain it but something always pulls me back to loving you. it could be many simple things or it could only be one thing... but great. i know you would no longer give me a chance to have you again and all this time i could be talking to the wind but so it be. it is great and special to love someone who loves you back but there is this profound feeling of loving someone who i believe loved me back even for a minute.maybe not anymore...but once it was there. because of this situation, i am made to talk to myself and to just write this down. maybe the universe is listening.

 

i hope you are happy...i am sure you are.

 

hear from you soon. see you around.

[Wyld]

c...

 

are you doin it again?

are you gone again?

i hope not.

i pray not.

please.

 

-k

[sweetpsyche]

hey

 

how can i tell you that I love you?

im always thinking of you...

 

 

and thats all i can do.

 

*sighs*

 

justme

Edited May 12, 2004 by sweetpsyche

[Zerreit]

Por qué usted viene siempre en mi vida en que soy justo alrededor estar bien? Usted está haciendo adrede esto a mí? Usted no tiene ninguna derecha de saber qué entra encendido en mi vida más. Espero que usted me deje solo. Nunca deseo verle más.

 

L