The Mail Box

[chiquezee]

Soldier,

 

 

The Purple Heart is given to those who were wounded or killed during battle. Not those who displayed machismo and empty bravado in the middle of combat.

 

Monetary awards are given to those who can prove they were in a crossfire, with gapping wounds, missing fingers, amputated legs and almost decapitated necks. The more you have missing, the more cash you have coming. If you're dead, your family gets the biggest reward.

 

The more bullets they extract from your limp flesh, the more stars they add to your shoulders.

 

Its the way things go. So to come back to me looking clean and smelling fresh after having gone to a two-week-long battle where a hundred civilians perished is beyond insulting.

 

Did you think that coming home with stories of how keenly you ducked and dodged will impress the Commander? You did not even sh*t in your pants! I will not spend another joule of energy lambasting you and your fighting skills. You are not worth the anger.

 

Just tell me, where did you hide?

 

 

- B/G.CZ

* * * *

[Wyld]

Para sa mga kinauukulan sa National Center for Mental Health:

 

Parang awa nyo na po ... paki gapos at paki kulong na sya.

 

Talagang malala na ang sayad nya ... ganyan ata talaga kapag galing ka sa pamilya ng mga mani (aka NUTS).

 

Salamat po.

[_Honey_]

ang hirap mong abutin. hindi dahil mataas ka, kundi dahil lagi kang lumalayo.

wala ka nang ginawa kundi mag-iwan ng puzzle sa isip ko. daig mo pa ang talinghaga, ang bugtong, isang misteryo, isang tanong na kakain ng kalahati ng buhay ko para lang masagot. ang hirap hukayin, ang hirap alamin.

ang hilig mong bungkalin ang lahat ng tungkol sa kin ng mag-isa, samantalang pwede mo naman akong tanungin. hindi naman ako maglilihim. mas naniniwala ka pa sa iba samantalang hindi naman nila ako personal na kilala. bumibitaw ka ng biglaan, nang hindi mo man lang iniisip kung gaano ko pinipilit gawin ang lahat para lang makita mong kahit sa maliit na paraan, good catch ko. i'm worth the time, i'm worth the try, i'm worth the chance and the effort. pero bumabalik ka rin, bigla mo na lang ako gugulatin. ano ba talaga ko sayo? bakit alangang-alangan na lang lagi ang lagay ko. hanggang don na lang ba talaga tayo?

 

ilang enerhiya na ang nasasayang sa kaiisip sayo, para lang mapagtanto ko kung ano ang pinakamabisang gawin. ayaw kitang bitawan eh, hindi dahil sa sinasakal kita. kundi dahil gusto kong marinig mula sayo kung talaga bang gusto mo nang lumaya. kahit naman ako ayaw mo pang palayain. gusto ko sanang magawa to. gusto kong magkaroon ng pagkakataon tayo. pero bakit sa tuwing susubukan natin, lagi kang nakakakita ng mga bagay para magtulak sayong iwanan ako. bakit kung gaano kaganda ang pagkakalapat ng bawat labi natin sa tuwing hahagkan kita, ganon laging taliwas ang koneksyon nating dalawa? talaga bang malabo tayong dalawa?

 

makailang beses ka nang umalis, makailang ulit ka na ring nagpraramdam, daig mo pa ang ligaw na kaluluwang di nagpapatahimik sa konsensya ko, nagpapaikot-ikot sa puso ko. hindi ka rin naman nagtatagal, umaalis ka rin. may maaari ba kong gawin para pumirmi at manatili ka na dito?

 

ang hirap mong abutin. hindi dahil mataas ka, kundi dahil lagi kang lumalayo.

wala ka nang ginawa kundi mag-iwan ng puzzle sa isip ko. daig mo pa ang talinghaga, ang bugtong, isang misteryo, isang tanong na kakain ng kalahati ng buhay ko para lang masagot. ang hirap hukayin, ang hirap alamin.

ang hilig mong bungkalin ang lahat ng tungkol sa kin ng mag-isa, samantalang pwede mo naman akong tanungin. hindi naman ako maglilihim. mas naniniwala ka pa sa iba samantalang hindi naman nila ako personal na kilala. bumibitaw ka ng biglaan, nang hindi mo man lang iniisip kung gaano ko pinipilit gawin ang lahat para lang makita mong kahit sa maliit na paraan, good catch ko. i'm worth the time, i'm worth the try, i'm worth the chance and the effort. pero bumabalik ka rin, bigla mo na lang ako gugulatin. ano ba talaga ko sayo? bakit alangang-alangan na lang lagi ang lagay ko. hanggang don na lang ba talaga tayo?

 

ilang enerhiya na ang nasasayang sa kaiisip sayo, para lang mapagtanto ko kung ano ang pinakamabisang gawin. ayaw kitang bitawan eh, hindi dahil sa sinasakal kita. kundi dahil gusto kong marinig mula sayo kung talaga bang gusto mo nang lumaya. kahit naman ako ayaw mo pang palayain. gusto ko sanang magawa to. gusto kong magkaroon ng pagkakataon tayo. pero bakit sa tuwing susubukan natin, lagi kang nakakakita ng mga bagay para magtulak sayong iwanan ako. bakit kung gaano kaganda ang pagkakalapat ng bawat labi natin sa tuwing hahagkan kita, ganon laging taliwas ang koneksyon nating dalawa? talaga bang malabo tayong dalawa?

 

makailang beses ka nang umalis, makailang ulit ka na ring nagpraramdam, daig mo pa ang ligaw na kaluluwang di nagpapatahimik sa konsensya ko, nagpapaikot-ikot sa puso ko. hindi ka rin naman nagtatagal, umaalis ka rin. may maaari ba kong gawin para pumirmi at manatili ka na dito?

[David Aames]

Last night's embraces are still fresh in my mind... its the very first moment after a long long while i've felt time stood still, paced with our breathing and beating hearts...

 

Can't wait for you to be in my arms again...

[Wyld]

Can we please NOT bring our fights and arguments here?

 

The PM function works best for that...

 

You guys know who you are.

 

Thank you.

[Mobius Stripper]

You're still young, it's not your fault. But when you let others decide what's good for you because you can't stand up for the consequences of your decisions & have othes to blame if things go wrong, now that's your fault.

 

When you let others -- friends, family, society -- decide what's good for you because you're afraid to fail or to miss out on life, most of the time they're wrong.

Edited April 10, 2007 by Mobius Stripper

[iwalkalone]

Always said I would know where to find love,

Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,

But some times I just felt I could give up.

But you came and changed my whole world now,

I'm somewhere I've never been before.

Now I see, what love means.

 

It's so unbelievable,

And I don't want to let it go,

Something so beautiful,

Flowing down like a waterfall.

I feel like you've always been,

Forever a part of me.

And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,

Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

 

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,

Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,

I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.

I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,

And I've never been here before.

Now I see, what love means.

 

When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,

I cant help but break down, and cry.

Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

 

Now I see, what love means

 

 

PS. O baka sabihin mo nanaman nasisiraan ako ng ulo, Nuts, pranie o may tililing hah! kanta lang yan ni Craig David!...wag masyadong mamangha! :boo:

Edited April 10, 2007 by iwalkalone

[chipmaker]

ang asim!

 

[naked_angel]

you,

 

reading your blog entry, i felt a certain tug in my heart.

i'm glad you finally found someone to make you happy. and you have the clarity and the certainty you need. you deserve it. and i don't know why i feel like crying right now. it's not because i envy you. hopefully not. i guess, i'm just too happy you've moved on after a screwed up pseudo relationshi. i know we'll never be friends again. i'm not good at that and we've never been one anyway. but suffice it to say i'm glad things are doing well for you. and please don't harbor any ill feelings towards him, it wasn't his fault. it just happened.

 

i've long wanted to tell you this...

 

race you to the PhD title?

 

 

k

[chiquezee]

Dear M,

 

You are probably relaxing in your well-manicured lawn, expertly designed by you, of course. And knowing you are somewhere leading a quiet life makes me envy you, up to that certain bit, at least.

 

I am getting sleepless nights again and I feel like I've aged in a month's time. I've lost a couple of pounds more and I noticed a new line by the corner of my mouth when I smile. I have been catching my heart palpitating from time to time as well, especially during meetings where to stand to pee would mean missing five minutes of substantial talk. And when I went to my optometrist for a new set of prescription glasses, she told me my vision is back to 20/20 after the correction glasses I wore. It was stress and fatigue that was causing my headaches. Yep, dear, it's the season for election fever turning flu.

 

I remember when we were a lot younger. You helped me campaign for my father then. Handing out blue and yellow leaflets and all, joining campaign rallies and the all-out meeting de avance until we end up slumped on the back seat of the car, both asleep, tired from the excitement, tired from chanting, tired from shaking people's hands as if we were, ourselves, candidates. Had you been old enough to vote, I knew you would have. You were my best friend.

 

You even defended me when my mom stood aghast at what I did to your green gate... Filled it with stickers, didn't I? Turned it into an iron scrap book proudly displaying the name I looked up to. Haha... And to make me feel it's perfectly ok, without consulting your mom though, you plastered the stickers on your bedroom mirror, too! That was fun, I have to admit. We were kids without much insight to the season's blood and grime. Now I know better. But how can I escape it? Its in the blood. Just as much as it is in yours. But there you are, wherever you are, successfully missing in action, away from the come-hither of destiny. And here I am, finding myself in the same world as you should have been in.

 

We were not given a chance to discuss our political stands when we got older because circumstances have separated us all too immediately. I am interested in what you may have to say, coming from the same background as I do. With yours going back to three generations ahead of mine.

 

Maybe we would have different convictions, with our families coming from opposing political affiliations. Maybe we would have debated on the issues, passionately contesting each others' views and positions. But I know you would still have respected my inclinations. As I would have yours. You were my best friend.

 

Last night, until the wee hours of the morning, I was preoccupied with thoughts that ranged from strategic life mapping, to projects, to choices, to opportunities. And the elections that passed, and the election that shall come years from now. Then I felt I envy you for you don't have to think of prostituting your mind for a greater cause. I have to.

 

Yes, I have to. But maybe, for some time, I will not have to. For a few years at least. When that happens, when I finally immerse myself to another world, to gain what I have to gain, to take what is mine for the taking, I will look for you again. I will sit beside you in your lawn, and we shall talk about raising kids and running companies, and the like.

 

We will not talk about elections, until such time I need your loyalty. Not that time, no, but in the future.

 

 

- C

Edited April 11, 2007 by chiquezee

[agentjackbauer]

K,

 

I was being honest.

 

I've set you free. I've set myself free.

 

Im sorry it had to hurt. Im an ass.

 

Forgive me, it had to be done.

[agentjackbauer]

Dear,

 

It shouldnt have come to this. I should have stopped before it was too late... before you fell in love with me.

 

I feel so guilty but I know deep down this was the right thing to do.

[preacher]

Do you know what you have done you little prick!?

 

You just flushed down a years worth of hard work all for some piece of ass!?

 

Good god man! You better go home to the provinces because when I get back, your ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower!!!

[naked_angel]

dear jmg m.d.

 

how's everything where you are? is it true the streets are made of candy cobblestones and the trees are cotton candy? oh that's willy wonka! it's been 13 long years. a lot has changed. with the queen, the royal kids and the favored heirs to all the treasures you left with us. the queen doesn't have plans of getting together with anyone else. i think she's a firm believer that if you've been with a king, you can never settle for a prince. that or because she's old na. and the other girls are trying to raise miniature versions of themselves. and they seem to be happy building their own little kingdoms. soon it's going to be the boys. and i'm going to be the the only child left in the original kingdom. dream come true!

 

i'd like to think we're all okay. and that if you were still here, you'd somehow approve of how our lives are going. don't worry, we'll take care of the queen as you would do if you were here. i'm sure you know everything that's going on with our lives right now. particularly mine. although i know it's not exactly what you want for me, i know you trust me. and you want me to be happy. and i am, right now, alone or with him. however misplaced that happiness may be ...

 

you will always be loved, cherished and remembered. and you can count on me to do that for the rest of my life...

 

besos y abrazos

 

k

[preacher]

There's so much brewing inside, and once again, I cannot let it out. Not that I can't. It's just that I'm so afraid of the damage it might cause. And the guilt will be so much more than I can bare.

 

Please, just try to understand. . . .

 

 

I just need to be left alone, kahit sandali lang.......

[chiquezee]

C2,

 

Perfectly tolerable, I dare say. Not enough to tempt me. You'd better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles. You're wasting your time with me.

 

 

 

 

PD,

 

Not again! During a luncheon meeting! You never learn... Aaarrgh!!! I don't wanna hear from you again!! Don't you get it?!

[chiquezee]

There is a reason why this did not land in your mailbox, instead, here. Undelivered.

Perhaps it is my attempt to remain where I have been standing, where "x" marks the spot. I have to watch after myself, like I told you.

 

But I need to let it out and free my chest of the burden of containing something so great.

 

My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings are still the same, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.

 

Yeah, that's not an original. With a few words changed to suit the moment. But I mean it as much as he did when he was talking to the one he loved.

 

The original will land in your mailbox, at the perfect time.

 

C.

 

 

 

p.s.

 

By the way, last night, you made me really happy, even at the most turbulent time of the day.

And I will wait again tonight, my love.

[David Aames]

There's a special level of comfort between matching souls

An unbreakable bond of constant support and closeness

 

Its when a warm embrace feels so right

Or when two hands fit so snugly

 

Its a feeling that's hard to define but easy to recognize

 

And when you find that comfort you just know

you'll never let go

 

Everybody in this world is scared

And sometimes, it takes two scared persons to do one brave thing:

 

To fall in love.

[iwalkalone]

"It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly."

"The Green-eyed Monster causes much woe, but the absence of this ugly serpent argues the presence of a corpse whose name is Eros."

"Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant."

"like the toad, ugly and venomous, it wears yet a precious jewel in its head."

"The pleasure we feel in criticizing robs us from being moved by very beautiful things."

"Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused."

[lemon]

you,

 

remember that not-so-little boy whose siamese cat we schemed on switching with mine and eventually deciding not to? well, he's here... not here, HERE! he doesn't know it yet but i've been following him around. seen him check out the chicks at the upper floor. nah, i'm letting him be... just watching over him as i always have.

 

what do you think? time to pull out the old blueprints again? not mine, mind you. was thinking about that other half of the siamese pair, y'know, the one that always lags behind?

 

algo guardar su mente de sus desafíos. soy justo aquí.

 

me.

[willow_boy]

I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your note. I'm just so busy with work these last few weeks. Plus, I don't want to send you a throw-away, garbage note. It's just not my style. I promise to send you a note one of these days.

[naked_angel]

henry,

 

the pink fairy with the nice voice is available, isn't she? unless you really want pretty girl with the occasional bitchy mouth than hands down intelligent but always thank you girl in pageants type. oh how you made me laugh when i read that part of your letter. and should little boy blue stumble on the entries you've made in that grand journal and know some of your most private thoughts, he'd probably think you've flipped and gone loco. after a long sleep, i woke up with a new talent: decoding cryptic stories. and i'm getting good at it.

 

anyway, got to go back to the meadow now. are you strong enough to tend to the garden and water the flowers later? :* or anytime, i guess...

 

:heart:

clare at 17

[simon b]

kamote,

 

di ka nagbabago

di ka na siguro magbabago...

 

punong puno ka pa din ng ulalo.

 

 

Q

[chipmaker]

bossing!

 

you've got to be kidding?!?!

 

your slave,

baon.sa.8D@------.com

[naked_angel]

dear you,

 

 

so how about a book? a letter? your drawings? your shirt in exchange for mine? tabagak and pinakas? ohh i know, how about little boy blue? no? okay. you na lang eh or we can just stick to my strict policy. how's that?

 

good morning :* feed volare and don't forget to water the flowers tonight.

 

 

:heart:

me