The Mail Box

[cdma]

Dear Diary,

 

I had a wonderful, no magical, day.

 

I had the best cup of coffee ever. They must have changed the way they brew their coffee.

 

I also had a heavenly salad for lunch. No, it was not the Ceasar's.

 

I saved an unlighted Lucky Strike for you. I don't think I need anything to remind me of today. A tiny fraction of her will last me all tomorrows plus a day.

[Fahfrd]

At times like these, my words are not enough.

 

I'll have to defer to one of the masters, James Ingram.

 

"

your face is beaming

you say it's 'cause you're dreaming

of how good it's going to be

you say you've been around

and now you've finally found

everything you wanted and needed in me

i don't have the heart to hurt you

it's the last thing i want to do

but i don't have the heart to love you

not the way you want me to

inside i'm dying to see you crying

how can i make you understand

i care about you, so much about you, baby

i'm trying to say this as gently as i can

'cause i don't have the heart to hurt you

it's the last thing i want to do

but i don't have the heart to love you

not the way you want me to

you're so trusting and open

hoping that love will start

but i don't have the heart

oh no, i don't have the heart"

 

I'm sorry.

[Wyld]

i guess i will never know.

 

not anytime soon at least.

 

 

Somewhere, lost in the wind

I'm watching you

Sunlight touching your hair

And I remember

Somehow, we said that we would never stray

But somehow we lost our way

Promises too often spoken

Are easily broken apart

 

I'm ready this time

I know that I'm no longer undecided

Don't wanna be

A fool wondering what might have been

 

Trace of forever lingering

Drawing me closer to you

A new beginning

Now I know

There is no doubt I understand

Just how fragile love can be

I can't forget

Your mem'ry found me

Now I know where I belong

 

I'm ready this time

I know that I'm no longer undecided

Don't wanna be a fool wondering

What might have been

Through every day, into the night

With only love to guide us

I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know

What might have been

Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

 

I want you to know

My heart will show that I'm ready this time

I know that I'm no longer undecided

Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been

I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares

When we've got love to guide us

I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been

I'm wondering what might have been

We're gonna find what might have been

Oh I wanna know what might have been

 

i still want to know... but i cannot find out by myself.

 

maybe this should just be one of the things that....

 

will always be a "might have been."

[batibut]

it was great to see you today. felt like old times... what can I say? thats 2 kidnaps for you in less than a week! good job! :cool: looking forward to our movie at the theatre with lazy boys, bottomless popcorn and a butler! promise me, we'll see something mindlessly absurd?

 

oist! d ako chubby ha! after september, i'll beat your amazing abs! by the haloween weekend, i'll have the most amazing abs in bora, you just wait!

Edited June 14, 2005 by batibut

[missmanners]

i feel like s**t.

 

i feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.. and nothing is what it seems. nothing can be trusted. and that it can only get worse.

 

i feel like i'm a misdeclared winner in the boxing fight of my life. my name was announced and i punched the air in victory. and not five seconds later, the tables are turned and i'm the loser instead.

 

i feel like all these good feelings i've been having about finally getting to where i want to be... about finally being able to relish the sweet taste of getting something i shed bloodsweattears to receive... about living my dream... that all of these are unfounded and baseless. and dumb.

 

i feel stupid.

 

:cry:

 

why is it that just when you think things are getting better, it always, ALWAYS gets worse?

 

i so need to talk to you. but i don't know how welcome a call from me would be. you know, it's times like these that i miss you. when i just need a sounding board... when i need someone to tell me it won't be so bad. that it's not the end of the world.

 

you know how it was when we could just do that? when you just had to run everything by me.. down to what to have for dessert? i remember just sitting there.. anywhere.. with you. not really talking. not even touching. but allowing for the comfort of each other's presence to say, yes, it's gonna be ok. that life wouldn't be without its ups and downs. that it's these dramas and tragedies and comedies that make our lives so lovely to live. that you're there anyway, so at least i know i'm not alone.

 

but now i am alone. and i so desperately want to call you. but i doubt you'll comfort me the way you did. i had to hear from someone else all these wonderful things that are happening to you. i knew it was inevitable, of course. it was my decision to show you i needed you less.

 

i'm thinking i regret that decision now.

 

and on top of everything, my dreams have just been dashed to oblivion.

 

wonderful.

 

Edited June 14, 2005 by missmanners

[bret_hart]

i guess i will never know.

 

not anytime soon at least.

 

 

Somewhere, lost in the wind

I'm watching you

Sunlight touching your hair

And I remember

Somehow, we said that we would never stray

But somehow we lost our way

Promises too often spoken

Are easily broken apart

 

I'm ready this time

I know that I'm no longer undecided

Don't wanna be

A fool wondering what might have been

 

Trace of forever lingering

Drawing me closer to you

A new beginning

Now I know

There is no doubt I understand

Just how fragile love can be

I can't forget

Your mem'ry found me

Now I know where I belong

 

I'm ready this time

I know that I'm no longer undecided

Don't wanna be a fool wondering

What might have been

Through every day, into the night

With only love to guide us

I'm ready to go, coz I've got to know

What might have been

Let the lovin' decide, I can't run, I can't hide

 

I want you to know

My heart will show that I'm ready this time

I know that I'm no longer undecided

Don't wanna be, a fool wondering what might have been

I've searched everywhere, and nothing compares

When we've got love to guide us

I'm ready to go, coz I wanna know what might have been

I'm wondering what might have been

We're gonna find what might have been

Oh I wanna know what might have been

 

i still want to know... but i cannot find out by myself.

 

maybe this should just be one of the things that....

 

will always be a "might have been."

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

i love this song!!!!

[KristinLavransdatr]

yesterday was one of the better days i had in weeks. meeting with staff was enlightening and encouraging. and that with JDF was promising. i got a "great job" note from the prez. sum it all up, i couldn't complain.

 

6:30. i was at the FM parking lot. as usual. from work. saw this crosswind. damn! why each time i see a crosswind i remember you. and crosswinds are all over the place. damn isuzu marketing. oh, nothing against the isuzu salesforce. but shhhh!t

 

and one of those golds blocked this bend. a man walked towards it. you.

 

i would have come up to you, but no. i already made a choice. as you said, my choice. always my choice.

 

yesterday, an old friend told me pointblank how difficult it is to deal with me. first time i heard that. and from someone i have been in relationship with for the past 10 years. those years when he was unavailable while i was. those years when i was unavailable and he was. those years when we were both available. but decided not. now, we're again both available. and he still finds it difficult to deal with me. too smart. too pretty. and pretends not to know it. he said. damn difficult to deal with a blind man, alright.

 

to you both: it is not my choice to be tough. it is my way of life. so let me live. as i let you go. i don't need you to change me. i am me without you. i am me just for me.

[Lipstick]

Leave if you must, leave if you desire so. But how could you leave without even saying goodbye.

 

You have no idea, no idea.

 

I could've, I would've. I did. And I would've and could've all over again. But it is not my decision to make anymore.

 

I could not be as cruel as you would be to me. So go .... there will be no more words. No more words.

 

Do not look back, I do not want your pity when you see my tears.

 

-L-

[missmanners]

there is a frog in my throat and i want you to help me take it out.

 

except that it was also you who put it there. so i don't think you'll be much help.

 

i do think i understand now, though. it's funny what you can dig up if you know which questions to ask. in retrospect, i don't think i should have. but there is a peace and calm that comes with knowing. that it's not me. that it's you. that it's her.

 

so i'm going to leave this to be resolved by the universe and not care whether it is to my benefit or not.

 

croak.

Edited June 15, 2005 by missmanners

[Wyld]

hey you.

 

yep. you.

 

you are such a wuss.

 

and i thought you had chutzpah.

 

tsk.

 

<_<

Edited June 15, 2005 by Wyld

[Batabatuta™]

Dear Diary,

 

As always, I do not know where I'm heading

I lost the appreciation for beautiful things

I keep lying to myself

I keep regretting myself

I am losing my will

I am losing my faith

I am losing my self

I am wasting my life

 

and the irony of it all

is that I can't do anything about it......

I let things happen before my eyes

and regret it after it has transpired

Call me soft

call me weak

call me dumbfounded

But this is my life

I am the sacrifice.....

[batibut]

B,

 

You looked amazing! How long has it been? God! I remember NYC in 96! I would walk from manhattan to central park in the freezing cold hoping to catch a glimpse of you. Then the horrible news came while we were waiting for Romy's bus from Newark. Johanna told me everything, although Romy admitted she found out just before she boarded the plane in Seattle. And then, so many things happened in between now and then. Its been 8, almost 9, years...damn! Well, people say I look like her. I say, why have a look alike when you can have the real thing? I hope it lasts this time around. You really deserve to be happy. Congratulations! I think I'm still harboring some feelings here... heheh :hypocritesmiley:

 

Bats

[batibut]

I,

 

I texted you today...you didn't answer. why not? i've been having dreams of you lately. strange. well, i miss you. can you believe that? hahah..feeling! oh and i finally got a copy of the new CD. haven't gotten around to listening to it. i'm still trying to capture the essence of the first one. great songs! sad thing, i don't think there will be many who'll appreciate them the way they deserve. but tell me, wheres mine? wishful thinking on my part... anyway, hope you're well. was hoping to bump into you in embassy...but its strange when i see you in manila. bora na lang again... October? Its a date! heheh

 

Bats

[kazekitsumi]

Ei, I never thought I'd see the day that you'd become such a grown man. You make me proud.

[kazekitsumi]

Look what the cat dragged in! I love the makeover, it looks good on you and it suits you. Don't worry, I will be here. Lock and load.