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The Mail Box


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At this point of despair, seeing my dreams vanish one by one through every flip of the 21 pages of discourse that may be laughable to experts in the field, I feel my mind has betrayed me. And even as I force myself to absorb the review of all thirty-six months of hard-earned Unos and attempt a repeat of my usual feat, I feel my mind is betraying me all the more.

 

I fear I may not make it. It crushes me.

 

I am not all heart, but right now, my mind has succumb to its heaviness. I am not exaggerating, dearest, when I say that I feel as if my chest is collapsing on my already beaten-up heart. It is as if a 30-pound ball of iron is hooked to its artery. It is difficult to breathe. No tear falls anymore. Such is the sadness I am over-powered with. My feet and hands are numb and I feel like I am again in a freezing dark cube without any opening. I cannot even hum a tune. When will you come to rescue me from the harshness of yesterday that lingers to this very moment?

 

When will you come to protect me? When will you walk in to finally, finally shield me from the whip of betrayal? I have been fighting on my own. Unnecessarily, too. But I do make mistakes, and here I am now, bloody, with head bowed. The price I have to pay.

 

I am tired being strong. There are moments I wish I could just crash into you and admit my weakness, trusting you will not judge me. I know you will take care of me. You will not betray me. Do not betray me. But dearest, where are you?

 

My mind is spinning, my heart is aching. I feel the pain physically. I never thought I would feel this kind of pain again. It has been years... I failed to protect myself.

 

I pray, dearest, do not deceive me like my mind has deceived me. Like my heart has failed me.

 

I need you especially in moments like these. For I know you will not leave me at the time I have need of your support and assurance. I know you will listen to me as I pour my heart out, and not cut me or bruise me in my moment of weakness and vulnerability. You will not leave me out in the cold, alone, when I need someone beside me. I do not ask much from you, save that you hold my hand at times like these and not push me aside like a stranger you have no regard for.

 

Find me... Find me soon, please, even as I search for you.

 

Embrace me and give me warmth, for the night is cold and the sun has made no promise of shining the next day.

 

As I lay my head to sleep tonight, so will my heart fold-up to slumber. It shall not be roused from its chamber until you wake it with your kiss of hope. Until then, every beat shall grow faint, and every thump will wane in solitude. If you never come, then it will become dry and shriveled til it is no more.

 

 

 

- C

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To all bombers,

 

Bombing & all forms of violence, especially that takes lives & limbs, is bad & can never be justified. However, if you really can't help yourselves, I can't stop you. The LEs should be better at the job than I. Just consider this if it's revenge you're after.

 

Please do not pick as your targets malls. public transport & other areas where those who hang around are innocent civilians who have nothing to do with social injustice & are actually victims of it. Pick instead places where the guilty parties about their oppressive business.

 

Do the Philippines a favor. Please do not add to the already countless victims among which your loved ones are included. Instead, reduce the number of the oppressors. The more corrupt & oppressive they are, the better they should be as targets.

 

Da Pilipino Pipol

Edited by Mobius Stripper
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I know it's tough when you need to be strong for everybody else.

It sucks to hope when your training tells you to give up hope.

It's hard to be the person that has to weigh every option and make those inevitable decisions.

 

Cry, bargain. You know we can be weak as we need to be.

Sometimes we do need to slow down or take a rest.

 

Yes, we're supposed to save lives but it's time to hand over that chart to the only Healer capable of turning things around.

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Letse ka! Hayup ka! Pinagsawaan mo lang ako! Minahal pa naman kita!

KALBO! TABATSOY! TSE!! HANGGANG DECEMBER PA YUNG SA APARTMENT!

BIGYAN MO KO NG TRABAHO HINAYUPAK KA!

KUNDI DAHIL SAYO NAKAKABILI PA SANA AKO NG MGA PC CDs!

ULANGYAH KAAAAHHH!!!

MAGSISISI KA! AYOKO NG MAHALIN KA!!! WALA KANG WENTAAAHHH!!! AAAAAHHH!!!

KUNG MAYAMAN LANG AKO IPAPA SALVAGE KITAAAHHH!!! KUNG MAY PISON LANG AKO SASAGASAAN KITAAAAHHH!!!

KALBOOOH! KALBO! MASAMANG TAOOOOOO!!!!

AT PAG NAMATAY AKO DAHIL SA KAKA LAKLAK KO NG EMPIE DAHIL SAYO TANDAAN MO MUMULTUHIN KITAAAH!!!

HAHATAKIN KO PAA MO! KAKALADKARIN KITA HANGGANG SA INODORO AT DUN NA KITA I_FU_FLUSHHH!!!

KALBOOOH!!!!

Edited by iwalkalone
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I seriously don't know how I would have survived for another year without you. I don't remember exactly how our lives intersected, but I thank my lucky stars that they have. You cheered me on when I have been up, made me smile when I have been down, and you is always there to remind me that I will be OK..

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