How Important Is The Sexual History Of Your Partner?

[Queen Darkeinjel]

Quite important for me, don't include all the gory details, but full disclosure if the partner has ever contracted STD or other ailments.

[NightWriter]

Quite important for me, don't include all the gory details, but full disclosure if the partner has ever contracted STD or other ailments.

Mahirap ata na tanungin na ' psst! May tulo ka ba,boy?'

Di sila aamin. Nakakalalake ata yun.

[alex10]

past is past although important talaga kung acceptable sayo yung past na yun..

[jgc813]

I think there are two things to be considered in this discussion:

 

1. The past is an indication of what the future may be;

 

2. There is a possibility of change in every human person.

 

I believe in both. The question now is, how to balance both of these...

 

My most recent ex is a good example. She had so many failed relationships. She had several sexual partners because of these relationships. (That's her explanation. I am not even sure of the sexual relationships she has had because of pure sexual desire.) She is a self-professed hopeless romantic, and, according to her own acceptance, "madali siyang ma-inlove." She admits that her failed relationships are due "to her own fault." She has two kids from two different guys already.

 

From my initial assessment of her, she's a complete failure in my book. She doesn't even deserve to be given a chance, at least for me.

 

BUT, I did give her a chance. Perhaps, I was rather foolish to have done so, breaking my own initial major premises.

 

We stayed on for more than a year. That was something she felt happy about. According to her, I held the longest record among her bfs. She had wanted to bring it to a higher plane, i.e., discuss plans of settling down. But I held back because I felt, she needed to undergo further testing.

 

And this was the test. (I actually shared this in some past threads.) She left for an overseas employment which was to last two years. Before she left, I told her we will discuss matters after she returns from her two year stint. If she can remain steadfast and faithful in her two years of living abroad, I would most willing concretely discuss matters with her.

 

She didn't last for more than three months. She started seeing a middle eastern guy that early. Even in a rather restrictive middle eastern situation, they were checking in hotels and were screwing each other. She denied everything, and made all sorts of alibi why her attitude was changing. I'm glad I found out her escapades early, so I knew she was lying to me.

 

There you have it. A typical example of "a trend" of someone with a past. Notwithstanding, I gave her the chance of proving people can change. Yes, there are people who do change, and I thought, she could be one of them.

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't her case.

Edited January 11, 2016 by jgc813

[bobby023]

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Yan lang masasabi ko. haha

[j]

Mahirap ata na tanungin na ' psst! May tulo ka ba,boy?'

Di sila aamin. Nakakalalake ata yun.

puwede siguro magpatest muna?

 

di ba pag walang infection, dapat ok na? kung gusto magpasigurado eh di test ulit after 3 or 6 months.

 

yun mahirap makuha yun history of exams.

[j]

Quite important for me, don't include all the gory details, but full disclosure if the partner has ever contracted STD or other ailments.

i think important nga talaga ang health side.

[j]

I think there are two things to be considered in this discussion:

 

1. The past is an indication of what the future may be;

 

2. There is a possibility of change in every human person.

 

I believe in both. The question now is, how to balance both of these...

 

From my initial assessment of her, she's a complete failure in my book. She doesn't even deserve to be given a chance, at least for me.

 

BUT, I did give her a chance. Perhaps, I was rather foolish to have done so, breaking my own initial major premises.

 

There you have it. A typical example of "a trend" of someone with a past. Notwithstanding, I gave her the chance of proving people can change. Yes, there are people who do change, and I thought, she could be one of them.

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't her case.

sorry to hear that.

 

mahirap nga talaga maghanap ng balance.

 

siyempre iisipin mo yun investment mo -- finances, time, effort, emotions.

 

at the same time you want to be fair and give the person a chance.

[macmac]

personally, I'd like to know the past, but not the details. though knowing usually hurts, it helps me understand her more.

[j]

personally, I'd like to know the past, but not the details. though knowing usually hurts, it helps me understand her more.

makes sense!

 

high level info just so that you'll have an idea. up to you if you need more details.

[Kingkongphils]

One thing I have learned about relationship is acceptance. You should never change someone, you have to accept her/him for what she was or what she is. And vice versa dn syo..

[jgc813]

A sexually hyperactive person could be an indication of something. One has to see, also, the underlying factors surrounding the sexual hyperactivity. Weighing everything IS, for me, important. I wouldn't like to have a serious relationship with someone who has an unbridled uncontrollable sexual urge related to a psychological problem. Besides, having sex with someone who has had sexual partners, especially, those with multiple sexual partners at one time could raise health/safety issues about him/her.

 

Actually, you don't need several sexual partners in order to acquire/transmit STIs. One partner could be sufficient to spell out a difference. But if it's already possible to get infected by just one, the risk is quadrupled if your partner's sexual history has been record-breaking!

 

I will admit one thing with my recent ex. I had serious reservations about going to bed with her considering she admitted to have had a history of sexual partners. While I knew she was really very inviting because of her history -- practice makes perfect, di ba? And, I saw her as someone who really knew the art of sex -- I was apprehensive about the many "what ifs?"

 

It took some time before we did it. She had always wanted to do it live, but I was always on the safe side, and resorted to using a cd. No penetration whatsoever even for a moment without a cd. Things changed when she underwent a comprehensive check-up, and was declared STI, hepa-B, AIDS/HIV free.

 

That was the physiological part. The psychological aspect was different. She was a hopeless romantic, and was a self-professed "madaling-ma-inlove" kind of a person. Because of that, she easily fell in love after she left the country. After less than three months, nasa kandungan na siya ng iba!

Edited January 13, 2016 by jgc813

[crocxxx]

personally, I'd like to know the past, but not the details. though knowing usually hurts, it helps me understand her more.

+1

[EspaSouL]

Not important. We all have needs. If everyone's clean, then great and be ideal. We all know that's not the reality though. Just my two cents.

[dirk.diggler]

Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Yan lang masasabi ko. haha

+1 on this. Ask yourself if you are really ready to know the truth. Back when we were still bf/gf, we both know that we both had past sexual relationships, but did not disclose details.