Falling In Love But Not Getting Horny, Not Wanting Or Having Sex

[Sigmundo]

it has happened to me.

 

fell in love with this MPA.

i got depressed because i wanted so desperately to get her out of the business but didn't have the financial resources.

i told her i've got more important things on my mind than sex.

 

 

So how did the story end pare?

[greenman24]

Love and sex is a perfect mixture for trouble unless both are married to each other...SEX is the highest/greatest expression of LOVE...love without sex...not real maybe ideal...what mean by it IDEA lang talaga yan...and that is not the general rule...

[btdeadlock]

I spent half my life in Catholic school so back in the day, being in love didn't necessarily go hand-in-hand with being horny. I remember the first time I really fell in love back in college. I couldn't think of having sex with her because it felt I was violating her in my mind.

[revi]

I spent half my life in Catholic school so back in the day, being in love didn't necessarily go hand-in-hand with being horny. I remember the first time I really fell in love back in college. I couldn't think of having sex with her because it felt I was violating her in my mind.

 

I relate to this.

 

I grew up from a religious family. I also went to a Catholic school (elementary to college, actually) and during my growing up years, pre-marital sex was such a no-no. Up until the time before I got married, I never gave up my virginity to any girl, be it my GF for six years or to anyone who had a thing for me.. I only popped my cherry to my wife.. So, its not that you don't love the girl if your libido does not move when you are with her, there are many things kasi that can contribute to that.. However, if sexually you are disinterested with her, the relationship might just not blossom.. Why? Sexual attraction is also important in marriage. Not the be all & end all, but if you can make love (hindi naman baldado ang isa sa inyo) then it becomes essential..

 

I said marriage, because even up until now, I still don't see anything nice or good with pre-marital sex..

 

Medyo OT: Nowadays, virginity is considered as nothing. Maybe we have evolved into the Western culture. Kaso sana hindi. The West has had too many problems relating to sex and the Philippines is slowly catching up. Ngayon, andaming nabubuntis dito na bata, ang daming sirang buhay, at ang daming sirang pamilya. Hindi lang kasi lalake ngayon ang nagloloko, parang nagiging norm na din na magloko ang mga babae. It saddens me, when I hear stories like these, where even women f#&k around. Not that I resent it because of masculinity, its just wrong. At mali din na magloko ang lalake. Nowadays, selfishness is more important than values, I guess.. Just my two cents.

Edited March 5, 2010 by revi

[TanglewoodBoy]

if you really LOVE the girl, mangingibabaw yung respect mo sa kanya so, having sex with her is like disrespecting her...

 

[Seishi]

It's a lot sweeter, more romantic, and loving if you're able to touch someone's heart beyond your carnal desires.

 

But of course, this is tough... as sex is the greatest expression of love.

[geek70]

if you really LOVE the girl, mangingibabaw yung respect mo sa kanya so, having sex with her is like disrespecting her...

 

 

I agree. I can love a girl even without sex. Just to spend time with her without doing it is enough to make me happy. Besides, there will be a time and place for that though it may not be now.

[nhagel]

parang ako to ha

 

halos wala akong nararamdaman ewan ko ba pero sa iba oo meron pero mahal ko naman siya

 

di naman siya mataba o mapayat ok lang naman

 

siguro para sakin meron lang talaga na pangbahay at pang kama meron din naman na both

 

un lang napili ko ung pang bahay

[maniaclara]

this probably rarely ever happens. i think it's either just a phase, or you have some other issues with her which you are in denial of. worse, if she's throwing herself at you already and you find yourself just shying away, maybe you have ED (erectile dysfunction) or are just a complete saint. AS IF.

[Lord Superb]

Interesting viewpoints here. Let's put it this way. We have three basic needs: physical, spiritual, and emotional. Depending on how you were raised, the society in which you move, or the impressions and nuances you've acquired from people, you might predominantly pay attention to one need at the expense of others. That, or you develop just one aspect of yourself instead of the whole.

 

Just think of the men and women who've been satisfying mostly their physical needs. Once they've had their fair share, which probably took years, they may now focus on their emotional needs. Thus, it's no surprise that a person in love, so-called, no longer feels the urge or the tendency to have sex because the emotional need is more important now. Sometimes, though, the inhibition or lack of desire to have sex stems from guilt or self-loathing over past misdeeds.

 

Again it's about knowing yourself well and developing yourself completely before entering a relationship.

[Rasc]

well actually its a reality... nangyayari din naman sa atin, kahit once... when I'm with her, I don't feel a thing of lust, parang ayos lang, asaran kahit ano gawin kakulitan, basta masaya lang kami, but pag sa iba... that's a different story... hindi pa masyado nakakadikit... lahat naman tayo may iba't ibang opinyon, kung paano natin i-handle ang ganitong sitwasyon...

[nancyneurotic]

Hindi ako 'nagnasa' sa ex ko siguro platonic love lang pala ang na-feel ko for him before. But our relationship lasted for only 9 months & i probably wasn't ready.

[Zach G]

if you really love the girl and know how to respect her, sex will not cross on your mind when you're with her. not unless you both agreed to do it

[complicated8]

Hahaha!!! :evil: How come sex = bad and making love = good?

Coupled with premarital sex = bad :evil: and marriage sex = good?

 

Both are the same but we always have to attach a feeling of guilt with sex.

 

Are we fooling ourselves? Lust/horniness is a natural feeling but we associate it with something evil.

 

If you want this girl and not want sex, there must be something wrong. You can have platonic relationships with anyone. Plus you are cheating with her if you want sex with another and not with her.

 

Confused?

[orionquest]

up ko lang tong interesting topic.

 

it could happen. for those who have experienced this, it must be purely bliss..

[BRONX]

Just show considerations for your partners well-being if she don't want to have sex with you , yes i agree with lord superb post above that we have

basic needs ( physical, spiritual , mental, emotional ) , depending on how we grow in the society that we live...just respect if your partner grows in different way

Ika nga - waiting is a test of true love- Love is patient, Thats about as simple as it gets. We can learn the sincerity of our partner's love by willingness,

or lack thereof , to wait.., LUST is everywhere,but i don't mean that you can do it whenever or wherever you wanted it too,w/o respecting your partner.

LUST is easy come easy go, but LOVE that involves feelings and respect..

Finding true love..that's hard to find. better if you don't find it, but wait instead.

From Philippians 2:3

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;

 

The word LOVE has many different meaning, it can be describe as an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state.

Corinthians 13:4-5

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking

 

To those who already find LOVE in there hearts..Goodluck! but don't easily laid

To those who enjoy LUST , will better better start to look for LOVE now..or if already in a relationship, better STOP doing it.

and respect LOVE with your partner..Mahirap na makarma, right??

Edited July 14, 2010 by BRONX

[bayag060310]

you could fall in love without sex - but you'll definitely need sex (later) to keep the relationship going.

 

... sex during happy occasions reinforces relationships.

... sex after heated fights calms the relationship

... sex during sad occasions comforts both partners

 

just my two cents ...

[dorkas]

nrnsan ko na rn yn,kakaiba ang feelin,d ko mlman kung pgod lng tlg or wla s mood.....

[getsumei]

This is possible. Hindi ko inakala na mangyayari sa akin un. I was totally enjoying her company and talking with her and super maalaga. It was short-lived nga lang, much to my dismay hanggang ngayon.

[richdadpoordad]

This kind of question pops up normally sa mga guys na hindi familiar sa idea na sex and love go hand in hand, yung mga tipong ipinepedestal masyado ang babae. You place her on that pedestal, so ayaw mo tuloy babuyin with something dirty like sex. So it's also tied to attitudes about sex and love.

 

In contrast, sa girls, this question can actually come up in a typical conversation, since unlike the male perspective, females do not even give focus to the sex even if they enjoy and need it.

[metalhead109]

it really do happen

once i had a girl whom i adore so much

i'm contented just to be with her

talking, playing cards, etc...

we even slept together in a private room

just the two of us

but surprisingly nothing happened

 

maybe because i felt that she's not ready

and i'm willing to wait when the time comes

i respect and love her so much

until now...

Edited July 15, 2010 by metalhead109

[audiman]

It's called "MARRIAGE"; ruby wedding anniversary last year, so trust me guys......

[joeymarquez]

yung may sex nagkakasawaan pano pa kaya pag wala. mag tropa nalang kayo

[ndn]

if you really LOVE the girl, mangingibabaw yung respect mo sa kanya so, having sex with her is like disrespecting her...

 

 

101% agree. Nangyari na sa akin ito and sa ngayon nangyayari ulit. I think im in love with a GRO. Before kasi puro kamanyakan pinag-gagawa ko sa vip room pero with her ewan ko b,never akong mag-attempt na hipuan man lang. Tama ang sabi ni Master TWB,mangingibabaw ang RESPECT sa taong mahal mo talaga ano man ang trabaho niya. Unfortunately for me,unrequited love ito. But its ok at least napaalam ko sa kanya and i believe in time ill learn to forget her.

[deepdiverboy]

I can relate to this question. I had a gf before that we were so in love the sex came regularly, without planning.

But then, as with all relationships, we hit a plateau. After that, we seemed to be unable to connect intellectually, emotionally, and as a result, physically--that despite all our efforts to revive the romance. Dumating sa point na we'd be looking at each other thinking, "What am I doing wasting my time with you? There are better things to do with my time."

 

When that happens, how can you be stimulated enough to even think of making love?