Political Jokes

[uaeboy25]

news flash:

 

nagkasunog sa kongreso, 50 kongresista at 125 na batasan personnel ang agarang namatay. hindi nahirapan ang forensic expert na kilalanin ang mga kongresista sa mga kasamang hindi kongresista. ang palatandaan, ang kongresista maiiitim ang boto kumpara sa batasan personnel.

Edited May 10, 2009 by uaeboy25

[uaeboy25]

international names of miriam santiago.

 

china - Meh Teh lee Ling

spain- Maria c. Ria Julio

Poland- Heedz Medamagz

Taiwan- Bah Liu Toh

Saudi arabia- Mai Sayed

[rockybrawler]

Loren Legarda claims she is the best presidentiable candidate because she is a single mom hence there will be no "first gentleman".

[uaeboy25]

international name of erap

 

 

south africa : Sakeem Fahyolah

Taiwan : Wang Mil Yong

China : Mao GohLang Toh

India: Jahling Sah Juetheng

indonesia: Mhandarahyah

Spain: Jose El Querida

Saudi : Saeed Al Bahyan

[uaeboy25]

internaional names of bong revillia jr.

 

india : Singh Kiht Mahnyakesh

Japan : Sen Boon, Babaiyeroh

Finland : Damian Kiev.

South Africa: Fuhroh Dahdah

China: Pan Nay Yah Bang

USA: Ramon Dickson

[LYCHEE]

the transformation of a mr. jeckl to a dr. hyde(n)..

 

hayden camera

hayd en shoot

hayd en sick

hymen kho

[uaeboy25]

the transformation of a mr. jeckl to a dr. hyde(n)..

 

hayden camera

hayd en shoot

hayd en sick

hymen kho

 

 

 

haha. naging polictician na si hayden kho.

 

 

 

hayden ko daw for senator,

 

ano kaya itsura ng senate kung magtatabi tabi sina ramon revilla, jinggoy, lapid at hayden hahaha. tapos nakatitig sa kanila si miiiriam at ping. weheheh

 

joke joke jjoke

[King Nothing]

what does Lucifer have in common with politicians?

they both sweet talk people into handing them very precious stuff.but at least Lucifer delivers on his promises!

 

I like this one....

 

anyway here's what I know...

 

If PRO is the opposite of CON, Is CONgres the opposite of PROgress?

 

:boo: :boo: :boo: :boo: :boo:

[Ryuji_tanaka]

what do you get when you cross a pig and a politician?

nothing! even pigs have standards!

[BnF95]

A recently deceased politician arrived in purgatory/limbo. He was amazed at the vast numbers of souls existing there so he asked one of them if this was the afterlife. The other soul looked at him and said, "heaven's gate is closed to us and hell won't accept us so we are doomed to oblivion hereafter."

[LYCHEE]

satan was touring erap in hell when he saw marcos drowning in the sea of fire up to his neck and ramos threading in the same

sea of fire up to his shoulders.

but ws surprised to see GMA with her glorious smile in the sea of fire but only up to her legs...when erap asked why, the prince of darkness replied: "ah, dats becuz she's standing on top of her husband's shoulders!" :upside:

[JackMeOff]

I've got a great joke for everyone.

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The philippine government.

[uaeboy25]

SLOGAN OF FAMOUS RP PRESIDENTS:

 

Marcos – MABUHAY ANG PILIPINO!

Aquino – LABAN PILIPINO!

Ramos – SULONG PILIPINO!

Erap – CASINO PILIPINO!

Gloria – NALOKO KO ANG PILIPINO!

 

 

Sa isang cabinet meeting at the height of the hello garci controversy:

 

GMA: kung sino man ang matamaan ng bolang ito ay siyang magresign. Okay?

 

Cabinet members: Okay po ma’am

 

Initsa ni GMA ang bola, tumalbog pabalik sa kanya.

 

GMA: O, praktis lang yon noh? Okay ulet.

[uaeboy25]

-----------------------------------------------

 

All of us has a book of acccount as what we have done on earth while we stll living, we call this, BOOKs OF LIFE. One is on the right and other on the left in which St. Peter in-charge.

 

Does the name of the couple who just climbed in Malacanang and never get out anymore could be found on both Books of Life?

Ganito pangyayari:

Gloria: unang lumapit kay San Pedro, pagkat siya ang nasa unahan nakapila, tinanong niya si San Pedro; Senior San

Pedro, Ako po ay si Gloria na pangulo ng Pilipinas.

 

San Pedro: Ikaw kamo!! Di ba ninakaw mo lang ang trono bilang Pangulo ng Pilipinas.

 

Gloria: Di ko po ninakaw ang trono. legal na hinalal.

 

San Pedro: Pero ayon dito sa monitoring record dalwang besis mo ninakaw ang Pagka-Pangulo. Una: co-conspiracy ng civil society, JDV, FVR, pinuno ng religious group tulad ni Cardinal Sin at ibang Obispo at Pari. Pangalawa: dagdag bawas katulong mo si Garcillano at ka-alyado mo congressmen.

 

Gloria: Hindi po!!

 

San Pedro: Ayon dito naka-hook up sa Hello Garci, boses mo, tama ba?

 

Gloria: EH..O. Opo!!

 

San Pedro: Talagang sinungaling ka at nagnanakaw. pangalan mo wala dito sa Book of life nasa kanang ko, kundi dito sa sa kaliwa na listahan ng mga nagnanakaw, criminal at ibang maka-kasalanan- Kay Lucifer kayo.

[Taz36]

Boy Bastos goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

 

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

 

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me GMA.

 

#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

 

#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.

 

#4. Your Yaya Inday, we'll consider her the Working Class.

 

#5. And your baby brother Junior, we'll call him the Future.

 

"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense."

 

So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

 

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has totally crapped in his diaper.

 

So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to his yaya's room.

 

Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with Inday. He gives up and goes back to bed.

 

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

 

The father says, "Magaling, Boy Bastos! Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

 

The little boy replies, "Si GMA yinayari pala talaga ang Working Class, tapos yung Government walang ginawa kundi tulog lang nang tulog. The People hindi pinapansin and the Future... nakalubog na sa ebak!"