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Biggest Lies Ever...


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they were all after your body. i'm in love with your soul.

 

ibahin mo ako.

 

it was never about sex. it's about makin' love.

 

i don't go 'round chasin' after every skirt i see.

 

i'll prove my love for you if it takes forever.

 

i know! men are such assholes! i'm embarrassed to be one sometimes.

 

trust me. knowing what other men put you through, i couldn't possibly hurt you.

 

i never did believe in soulmates or reincarnation or <fill in the blanks w/ any new age bullshit women love so much>, but i couldn't help but think i know you from a previous life, and will know you again in the next...

 

i've done a lot of things i couldn't possibly be proud of, and i've been called a lot of names, but one thing i most certainly am not is a liar!

 

i know it hurts, but i'm not leaving you for another woman. it has always been my "calling" to serve god and be a priest...

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i know it hurts, but i'm not leaving you for another woman. it has always been my "calling" to serve god and be a priest...

 

 

 

Dude, this is just bad...I know us guys have to do some cussin' and crappin' sometimes but please don't use that one. :thumbsdownsmiley:

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Dude, this is just bad...I know us guys have to do some cussin' and crappin' sometimes but please don't use that one. :thumbsdownsmiley:

 

gee. i'm sorry if that one offended you, sir. don't worry, i've never used that one nor do i intend to use it in the future. i've changed my ways, see.

 

now, where was i? oh! yeah, lies ...

 

i don't lie and i hate being lied to.

 

trust is the foundation of any relationship.

 

it won't hurt, i promise.

 

maliit lang 'to, tingnan mo, i've small feet o.

 

that was the best ever!

 

"i've never used performance enhancers, with you, there's never a need to."

"e bakit matigas pa rin 'yan?"

"see, i i rest my case. being with you puts me in a state of perpetual arousal. isa pa nga."

 

"bakit kaunti lang ang lumabas?!"

"aah...uhm...it's a bit embarrassing but <pause> i dreamt of you this morning and woke up extremely hard..." -or-

"i relieved myself before coming here 'cause i want to last longer, perform better, satisfy you more..."

 

"was that a woman's voice i heard?!"

"ano pa nga ba? nandito ako sa may stoplight, may namamalimos. you know how i feel about mendicancy on the streets. nakakaawa but it puts their lives and those of others in danger. hay naku!"

 

------------

 

i just love this topic!

 

gives me the chance to educate and warn others.

 

teka. magtatanong pa ako sa mga friends ko kung ano pang kasinungalingan ang ginagamit nila. hehe.

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heard:

 

hindi ako magbabago

ikaw lang talaga pwamis

hindi na nga ako na aatract /nagkaka crush sa iba e

wala kaseng signal

naiwan ko phone ko

nanakaw phone ko

wala akong load

[sows gasgas na mga lies! gusto kong marinig naman yung "nalunok ko cellphone ko"! para iba naman <_< ]

isang malaking panloloko! mga kupal na lalake yan! woooh!http://www.moodsmilies.com/smilies/angry/motz.gif

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I'll just tap my cock on your lips I promise (then you proceed to jam it inside her mouth)

 

of course I won't come in your mouth! (then you go oops! I couldn't control it babe I'm sorry)

 

no your stretch marks do not disgust me (while trying very hard to look the other way)

 

I swear baby it was just one time (with that chick)

 

I did not have sexual relations with that woman! (BJ's don't count of course)

 

we'll just talk I promise (in a darkened room with candles and BDSM apparel)

 

I would never go to a massage parlor, eeeewwww (as you discreetly hide your frequent flyer card)

 

I wonder what it's like inside a girlie bar (while avoiding the stares of your regular GROs)

 

I've never been to a stripclub ever (and that's why I know the name of every single move those "dancers" do)

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*kisses her neck*

 

her: Ok...we're not gonna have sex

 

you: no of course not

 

*fondle her tits*

 

her: oohhh...we're not having sex

 

you: I know....

 

*takes off her bra*

 

her: uhhhhm...we're not having sex I said

 

you: Yeah I know

 

*takes off shirt and puts on rubber*

 

her: I told you already...WE...ARE...NOT...HAVING...SEX

 

you: of course not

 

*smile*

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