Writings of the Heart

[monazario]

and its all in my head...

i think about it over and over again..

[Itto Ogami]

i can only fight for what we might have if you believe in it, too.

- ®³

[Danielle]

There were no more Christmas greetings, no New Year wishes, no "hi's" and "hello's." After that terrible fight, a big white flag waved... It was a surrender, with hands on the air.

 

I'm sorry for hurting you like hell. I was in pain too.

[Itto Ogami]

until i release me,

i'm bound under ball and chain.

reminiscing my love

as i watch four seasons change...

 

- a play on the lyrics of FOUR SEASONS OF LONELINESS by BOYZIIMEN

[lovehurts]

wats done is done. i cant turn back time. its my fault! so things happen. i find myself idiot. im dead wrong when i choose to spend myself working, doing nothing everyday and especially when i choose to spend time with my laptop rather than spend it with you. im blaming myself why this happen to us. im wrong when i choose to take you for granted for the last 5years(like wat u said.) but plz let me regain myself. plz let me give to you what i didnt do to you for at least 5 years of our relationship.i regret all those days happen. you know what, i find myself nothing w/o you. i find myself unhappy everyday w/o you even though i have all the money to spend. i realize that money is nothing w/o. time passed by that im spending time saving money by myself and didnt notice that every peso in my bank that i save is equivalent to every diminish of your love to me. plz let me correct what is wrong. plz give me a chance to prove to you that im a change man. i change because of you. i change because i love you.

i know your a little bit scared that i might change again if you choose to love me and choose to sacrifice your job to me once again. i find myself selfish doing this. but im having difficulty waiting for your time. i dont want to cram myself in a little time that you have to me. How can I prove to you my deepest sincerety if all of your time is in your job. i know im a self centered man but can you just give me ONE MORE CHANCE to did to you what i didn't do in the half decade of our relationship. plz let me be your HUSBAND this time. Come home to me! Lets start a new day. Lets move to house that we can stay forever and there we can grow as a happy FAMILY. i know your mind telling you whats wrong or whats not, i cant argue with you regarding that. but plz prioritize us before anything else. i dunno if how long im going to fight for you and for your time.time is killing me everyday. plz dont let this happen. plz dont let myself to love another girl just becuase your to busy with your job and your not spending too much time on me. plz dont let this happen. plz dont let me find time with someone else just because you dont have time with me anymore. I don’t want that to happen.

remember job will always be there for you. remember were family now. think of our daughter. im fixing this because im WRONG. im doing this for our family. come to think of this, I've read so many cases wherein kids who came from a broken family got hooked on drugs, didn't finished school or married early.. I don't know really what's the effect on them but what I know.. based from statistics.. kids from a broken family don't grow up NORMALLY... I dont think I would like to risk on that.. I mean, risk the future of our daughter.. surely, I love them more than myself. there are still many opportunities will come on you. dont think that if u resign you will gonna be job less forever. we can settle here or even outside the country. if thats what you want then we fix it together. il do watever you want. your the boss now! but 1st, can we fix our relationship 1st before we do something else. we cannot just say, were OK even if were NOT. if you does not love me anymore. Dont pretend! plz! it hurt so much. say whats on your mind. if you love him then GO for it. plz just dont lie. its more than enough to me.

[sweeethoney]

sabi mo ako ang mahal mo

pero bakit hindi ko makita at maramdaman

sabi mo importante ako sayo

pero bakit mas inuuna mo ang layaw mo

sabi mo hindi mo ako paluluhain

pero bakit gabi gabi na lang akong umiiyak

sabi mo aalagaan mo ako

pero bakit parang wala ka ng pakialam sa akin

bakit di mo sabihin sa akin ang totoo

para hindi naman ako nagmumukhang tanga

pagod na pagod na ako :cry:

[Guest biancaanne]

NCB- I'm starting to live my life without you. That doesn't mean that I've forgotten you, or that I don't think about you anymore. I just keep telling myself that this is what he wants and this is what I need to start doing for myself. It's still hard for me to totally let go of my feelings for you because every corner, every place I go, or pass by, they serve as memory placeholders. I would even have to intentionally close my eyes or look away every time I pass by the area you live in and the building you work at. I know you've moved on and have probably forgotten about how in love we once were, but I will never stop thanking you for changing me, and making me a better person. Pray for me, baby. Pray that I would find someone like you or even better. I need him so badly, being a person who lives to love and be loved - a hopeless romantic.-AAA

Edited February 17, 2010 by biancaanne

[Itto Ogami]

[Guest biancaanne]

The saga of life begins when one part of you has died...your heart. - AAA

[Itto Ogami]

[LadyLazarus]

C,

 

I still love you and I can't seem to move on. I'm this close to getting into another mistake, and when I think of you and what happened to us, I start to pull away from the almost-mistake. For this, I thank you for being my unseen savior.

 

I should thank you too for returning my friendly messages with the same kind of friendliness I try to portray. At least I know that you're still alive, and even remotely interested in my welfare too (even if the interaction lasts for only 4-5 text messages).

 

I love you, still. I think I always will. No, I know I always will, and no other person can take that away, even if he tries to. You will always be my benchmark for what a relationship should be (while it lasted).

 

M

[Itto Ogami]

[sweeethoney]

bakit ikaw pa

ang natutunang mahalin

gayung sa bandang huli

ako ay paluluhain

 

bakit ikaw pa

at di na lamang ang iba

natotoong umiibig

at nagmamahal sa akin

 

bakit ikaw pa

laging nasa isip

ni minsan di ako sumagi

kahit man lang sa panaginip

 

bakit ikaw pa

oh bakit ikaw pa

tuloy ako ngayon

ay nagdurusa.

[StoicVampire]

Ang buwan ay nakayuko at umiiyak

Pagtigil ng luha ay di tiyak

Inosenteng pag-ibig sa paraang payak

Ibinigay sa tao ang di nag-alinlangan at nasindak

 

Lamig ng gabi tumutulos sa pusong nabiyak at nananaghoy

Na hindi kayang supilin kahit init ng apoy

Damdaming iningatan, nalaglag at idinaloy

Nasayang na pagkakataon nais ibaon sa limot at pagtuloy

 

Mga ngiti sa labi nakita at nadama

Ninais gawing panghabambuhay nang ika'y kasama

Bakit lahat ng pagkakatao'y umiwas ka at di hinayaang itama

Ang buhay sa sana'y palaging maligaya

 

Sa pagtulog ko ang gabing ito ay aking iiwan

Ipipikit ang mata, isasara ang damdamin at isipan

Ako'y mananaginip kasama ka sa kawalan

At sa paggising walang bahid ng naramdaman......

[LadyLazarus]

Another Saturday..I have lost count. I intentionally stopped counting. It's been what, over 2 months?

 

I'm still alive...thanks to the memories, the happy ones, at least.

 

I remember you kissing my tattoo, those nights where we should share a bottle, no, two, maybe three...

 

I ought to stop...tears...for the nth time...

[Itto Ogami]

the heart is an uncontrollable beast.

you know not who it is going to choose...

[Guest biancaanne]

You broke my heart just before I was able to pick up all of the broken pieces. Now I'm worse than before. I thought you would be my savior, despite my stubborn demeanor. It's my fault...again.

[Guest biancaanne]

19 hours and I'm still wide awake. I never appreciated folding clothes and found it therapeutic 'til now. What's even more therapeutic is me being able to write down my thoughts and feelings without caring about what other people think. So here goes...

 

My Niisama,

I will miss you. You've been around for almost a year, though, and it's only now that I paid attention. I haven't fully recovered from my previous heartbreak yet.Had it been meant to be, we would not have trusted each other anyway. We both know who were were, a year ago. It will be lonelier and more painful without you, even just as a friend. But I guess somebody up there has already decided what to do to US. I somehow sense that you will come across this expression of fondness, so even if I know that a lot of people will chide me or even laugh at me for being so emotional, I don't give a s@%t. I want you to know that you will always be in my thoughts, that I will always wish you well.

 

I hate saying this because it usually signals the end, but..."Ingat ka lagi." A special space in my heart and in my treasure trove of memories will be reserved just for you. Thank you for keeping me company during my worst moments. Thank you for worrying about me when I'm out with friends, and checking on me just to make sure I'm home, safe and sound. Salamat sa mga sermon mo, kahit matigas ulo ko madalas.

 

I'm sorry if I had caused you any inconvenience. I've grown too fond of you that I've always been afraid of making the same mistake twice, even three times. And yet, I know that in whatever form it takes, I can honestly say that I do love you in a way different from what this was on its way to. Watch over me, silently, my dear, dear friend. I will remain forever...

 

Your Imouto

[Itto Ogami]

[Guest Riveria]

No one in this world knows the feeling that I get when I see you. They have no idea about what you get my body to do when I hear your name or hear that sweet soft voice of yours. Nobody has ever made me feel like the way you make me feel and that is such a crazy feeling. It feels like I just want to grab you and be in your arms forever and forever and never let go. I want to kiss your lips and never end - just keep going.

 

Every time I think about you, it gives me more and more strength with which to carry on my life. It makes me happy to be alive knowing that you have came into my life and all I know is that I want to be with you!

[Itto Ogami]

[barnacleboy]

I let you go and now i regret it. I have never felt regret for any of the mistakes I've done because I know that I've learned and become a better person because of those mistakes. But this one is different. We had such a wonderful time together. We were college sweethearts, everything seemed to be perfect. Do you know why I let you go? I thought I was still too young to get into something very serious. I wanted to have fun and make the most of my life. I took everything we had for granted. Looking back at all the relationships I had, they all pale in comparison to what we had. you were perfect for me, S, but I was young and stupid. I remember the night before you and your family were about to migrate to the US, a year or so after graduation. You cried so hard. I didn't shed even one single tear. I did not fight for our relationship. I did not make any serious attempt to follow you there. I did not realize how special our relationship was. I was too busy being selfish.

 

I'm not saying I still love you or that I want to be with you again. It's been more than a decade. You're now married, happily I hope. I am also married, but we're no longer together. I've lost my chance with you and there's no going back. I know I was wrong. You had every right to hate me, S. I broke your heart even though you did absolutely nothing wrong. I am sorry.

 

Now there's nothing for me to do but to go on and love the way I know how to love. I know I may not be able to find the kind of love that we had, but I have to find it.

[LadyLazarus]

Don't make me wait. It's just coffee, dinner or a few drinks after all...in its truest sense (and not what some people think it might mean)...I just really miss talking to you. It's like I'm dating a better version of myself.

Edited February 24, 2010 by LadyLazarus

[Itto Ogami]

[monazario]

To hold back my fear

and feel you so near

I've never been this far before

To hold back my fear

and feel you so near

I'm scared of falling into deep this time