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If Only.... Mga What Ifs ng Buhay Natin...


Guest simply_miss

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i know my future is dark....i used to be a believer , but i fall on my knees several times .. and cried like a sissy girl ...i want to stand up as a man but ..sadly i never did ...i stood up as a monster,...even though my memories of the past are like dusty old pictures grimming on the chestbox... everytime i recall them, how dirty they might hev been .. they do still glitter in the back of my mind everytime i think of them. ... glowing each recall... thats my time machine.

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i know my future is dark....i used to be a believer , but i fall on my knees several times .. and cried like a sissy girl ...i want to stand up as a man but ..sadly i never did ...i stood up as a monster,...even though my memories of the past are like dusty old pictures grimming on the chestbox... everytime i recall them, how dirty they might hev been .. they do still glitter in the back of my mind everytime i think of them. ... glowing each recall... thats my time machine.

 

the harsh realities of life.....i too once had this perfect thing of Love wherein bigay mo sa kanya lahat and she would fall in love with you regardless of your status in life, religion, and other things which may block true love..

 

but i was never the same person i was and i don't know if i like this or not but i am not ashamed to be this way...

 

just try to live life to the fullest, that's my advise

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If only I could understand my TRUE FEELINGS for him................

Being in a relationship for almost 3 years now, might be something any girl would think would end perfectly. During those years, I admit that what we had was something really extraordinary. Our relationship was something that merely holds on due to the feeling that we don't have other people to be with and we where afraid that we might not find other people who would accept us for what we are....

We had fights and even exchange hurtful words that made it sometimes hard to forget. I was used to having him around but I know for a fact that my feelings for him now was just a friend/companion. We don't share intimate things because I can't force myself to do "it" with him.

I don't want to hurt him but I know one way or another I would be hurting him.....

I want to be free and be able to find someone whom I can be with and feel the feeling of being IN LOVE again.....

IF ONLY I COULD BE FREE WITHOUT HURTING HIM.....

IF ONLY WE COULD BOTH FIND SOMEONE WHOM WE COULD BOTH BE HAPPY WITH.....

IF ONLY I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FEEL GUILTY EVERY TIME I MEET SOMEONE AND WISH I WAS STILL AVAILABLE SO I COULD BE WITH HIM....

IF ONLY.... IF ONLY.......

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  • 2 months later...

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