driftingman Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 I think it is something that only the people in the relationship itself will be able to gauge. That is, if they do not get blinded by the "intensity" of their feelings for each other. More often than not ... emotions get in the way of logical thinking and this leads to a lot of heartache in the end. But youre right, its such a gray area and difficult to understand. very eloquently stated! perhaps at this point you would like to summarize our discussion and distilsome conclusions? Quote Link to comment
Joie Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 very eloquently stated! perhaps at this point you would like to summarize our discussion and distilsome conclusions? You know what, I wouldnt want to do that at this time since im sure there will be more insights to be posted? But what ive been mulling over is this... If you go after someone who is taken, and get that person in a relationship with you... whats the assurance that he/she wont fall for the next person that makes a play for him/her? I know that there are almost always no assurances but ... isnt that a precedent setting thing? Quote Link to comment
Manticore Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 What happens the moment a person is "taken"?Will they be "off limits" or am I mistaken?When is a lover considered fair game?Doesn't it end once you share the same name?It does make us question about institutionsMarriage, going steady, and society's illusionsSeeking order in chaos is a human concernIn the course of history, you'd have thought we'd have learnedThen again, too much order can make us stagnateWe take things for granted, until it's too lateI suppose checks-and-balances are put into placeThird parties help keep us alert, as alwaysIf you're not careful, an unfaithful mate leavesIt's 'cuz you don't own them, is what they believeRely not so much on any agreementBecause nothing in life is ever permanent Quote Link to comment
driftingman Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 You know what, I wouldnt want to do that at this time since im sure there will be more insights to be posted? But what ive been mulling over is this... If you go after someone who is taken, and get that person in a relationship with you... whats the assurance that he/she wont fall for the next person that makes a play for him/her? I know that there are almost always no assurances but ... isnt that a precedent setting thing? that is true. he/she can as easily move out as he/she can move into a relationship. i suppose that it is all about staying on your toes. like the american football i suppose - if you have the possession then you only have it until you can ward off everyone else who is after the ball. you just also can not take it for granted! Quote Link to comment
spongebobby Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Would I go for someone who's taken? I used to believe that honor dictates that I don't, but time has softened that stance. There is a difference between the truly committed and the lackadaisically taken. The former remains sacred. The latter may be begging for freedom. Quote Link to comment
Larry Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 (edited) spongebob is wise beyond his years and idiotic looks I know that there are almost always no assurances but ... isnt that a precedent setting thing? why should you care if it's gonna happen again. If you're so worried about the what might happen, or it might be a sign of things to come or what not. I don't think that is the right mind set to be in a relationship. true there might be a chance of that person doing it again, but should it matter? Being in love is all about being in the moment (note that I'm saying "in-love" and not real love, there's a difference) if you care too much about the bad, then it will probably not work. It's always about the journey, never the destination. Edited November 14, 2006 by Larry Quote Link to comment
Joie Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 There is a difference between the truly committed and the lackadaisically taken. I like this. Thank you for clearing that up in my stubborn head. Quote Link to comment
Joie Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 spongebob is wise beyond his years and idiotic lookswhy should you care if it's gonna happen again. If you're so worried about the what might happen, or it might be a sign of things to come or what not. I don't think that is the right mind set to be in a relationship. true there might be a chance of that person doing it again, but should it matter? Being in love is all about being in the moment (note that I'm saying "in-love" and not real love, there's a difference) if you care too much about the bad, then it will probably not work. It's always about the journey, never the destination. Because im obsessive compulsive and it is in my nature to worry. However im slowly seeing the light and realizing that I am making myself miserable beyond misery with all this thinking. There is hope for me yet....I will answer this question again in a few days... Quote Link to comment
Larry Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 my sig is so right for you Quote Link to comment
johnnydrama Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 Judging from experience, the risk is worth it, but one has to sacrifice being second priority in her schedule. I'm seeing a woman who's four years older than me, with three teenage kids to boot (she's not married to the father of the kids, but they still live together). I don't regret the awkwardness of not being able to see her on a regular basis (especially when it means wanting to visit her at home, which given her situation is definitely out of the question), but we always find ways to keep the flame burning (and boy does she know....'nuff said). I guess it must be the thrill of obtaining forbidden fruit that keeps us involved in such pasaway behaviour. Quote Link to comment
jettison_last Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 as a personal rule, i never hit on another guy's girl. then again . . . Quote Link to comment
<< xtc >> Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 naaah, there are plenty of them girls free out there ... Quote Link to comment
sexythang Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 not really..why would i settle for less? Quote Link to comment
Manticore Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 Would I go for someone who's taken? I used to believe that honor dictates that I don't, but time has softened that stance. There is a difference between the truly committed and the lackadaisically taken. The former remains sacred. The latter may be begging for freedom.I suppose that this is the order of thingsWhen someone decides to be true to feelingsOne can't afford to let society dictateWhat to do with relationships doomed to ill fateMistakes, after all, need rectifyingFailure to do so is self-denyingIt's all in pursuit of true happinessLife's short, so don't settle for anything less Quote Link to comment
pill_crasher Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 why not that's not a big deal!!! Quote Link to comment
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