dibdba

I think most thera-client relationships start with a seminal event--the day she starts refusing his tip.

It's not perfect, but it's a good rule of thumb. As long as she continues to accept and in some cases ask for higher and higher tips, the relationship is pure business.

 

Hehehe... I know who you're referring to

 

But hey, I'll let the great Buwayahman discuss it, since I echo his sentiments:

 

http://www.buwayahman.com/garaging-the-psp-the-difference-between-entitlement-and-privilege/

 

But more importantly:

 

http://www.buwayahman.com/this-is-not-the-way-you-garage-a-girl/

nice read. especially the points on entitlement and privilege.

Been longing to post this and get the opinions of all.

 

Just a question cause i still cannot anawer. If you "garahe" a thera, fix her life and let her continue her studies. The person who sheltered her is very much a bachelor but not living with this thera. He just placed her in one of his condos. But this thera is no longer allowed to have bf and work in spa. He likes her so much and even brings her abroad but this guy still not commiting and still roaming the spa market.

Is this guy in love with the therapist? A confused guy

He's not in love. It seems she's become of just one of the many items that he possesses.

Love. Kasi you can love 24/7. But you can only have sex for a few hours a day.

It's a form of control, much like a circus trainer uses a whip to force wild animals to behave.

But everybody has a breaking point. Lionesses especially.

 

And sadder even is that constant struggle between heart and mind; it is in this same stigma that a cheater or a thief will always plague your trust.

 

It is not forbidden to love someone from that trade, but no one said it's going to be easy. Concessions have to be made, perhaps more compromises than what you want to let on. Is it worth it? No one can absolutely say. But rest assured doubts will be constant and there will be more reasons to leave than to stay.

 

Do you really want to put up with that? Are you ready to handle all the whispers and stereotypes that surround these kinds of relationships?

In a relationship like that there will always be whispers: some from people you know, some from those you don't. It's even possible that the loudest whispers come from inside your head. Falling in love with a therapist has the potential for an extraordinary love. But it is also a fertile ground for doubt.

You mentioned stereotypes in relationships like these. and they're all over the replies in this thread: that the guy has money and the girl needs it. or that the guy is so good in bed that the girl gets her release from "bitin" moments with clients and she falls for him. When we oversimplify the dynamics in this relationship, we dismiss its unique beauty and inherent frailty.

Relationships with therapists are far more complicated than your typical ones. First of all, before you and the girl eveb become a couple, you've already shared varying levels of intimacy. Weird that you're courting a girl you've already kissed or touched or even gone around the world with. Second, once you've become a couple, how do you handle the thought of the girl going to work and in some cases doing things only true lovers should share? Third, how do you react when you check MTC and read that your girl is calling someone or a group of guys as babe, bhe, baby, hon, love etc.

Mahirap. I admire guys who can handle this. Likewise with girls who open their hearts with the hope that the guy will understand that work is just work. And that they are also capable of true love.

sumilong.

Falling in love with a girl in the sex industry is always difficult.

I used to think that it's more difficult if your girl works in an MP rather a spa, but over the years my view has changed.

Guys know what happens inside an MP--there are practically no limits as ATW is an standard there. So either accept it or you don't. Spas on the other hand are different as mileage widely vary.

This is where the challenge arises. Most spa goers nowadays know that HJs are standard but BJs are now common in spas, so unlike five years ago where you have to have luck, charm, and money to get it. To a certain extent same with ATW, though many (likely most) therapists still refuse to cross this line.

Will you believe your GF if she says she only does HJ? It is possible of course that she's telling the truth. But will that stop your imagination from tormenting you? What goes in your mind when she goes to work? What do you do when you read an FR? Will you confront her? Or will you suffer in silence?

Sadly there are more questions than answers.

Career. Kasi madaling hanapin.

Unlike love na madalang dumating.

Because ugly men try harder.

They exert more effort, are extra sweet, give greater attention, value the girl more. These are traits that are ultimately more valuable than just good looks.

The thing to remember is this: if the only value the other person brings to the relationship is his/her good looks and youth to the exclusion of everything else, the relationship is doomed.

It doesn't matter if the other party is 15 years older or 15 years younger as long as you're comfortable with each other. And more importantly, as long as you're free.

Thanks Vic. Actually it's the members who I really thank. They share a lot. That includes you.

yeah, great thread. great vibes. great sharing. kudos to *jessie*.

john bonham, keith moon, ginger baker. that's probably the drummers' equivalent of hendrix, page, clapton for guitarists.

but charlie watts should always be in the discussion for greatest drummers of all time.

Ahh. Joke pala. I thought so.

Sorry to hear about the negative votes I cant see them though, Im on mobile and my phone features could be limited. Let it be. We cant please everyone all the time. But i really appreciate your contribution to this thread.

first of all, nice thread btw.

i use both phone and laptop, and the phone's browser has limited features. the negative/positive voting along with a member's tenure are among those hidden from view.

but yeah, i've been in mtc for more than a decade so i've ruffled a few feathers here and there. it's just incredible that haters follow me even in this section.

putting negative votes out of spite is the refuge of the coward and a symptom of cerebral hollowness.

Hindi ko ma-dig ang pagkakaiba.

no problem. the second answer was more of a joke.

what i don't get though is why many of my posts were tagged in the matters of the heart thread were tagged as negative. and all these negative thingy happened in an eight to ten hour window. it seems even during Christmastime, and even in this thread, he inggiteros/inggiteras follow me. kawawa naman sila.

what if natikman pero masarap...d ka mag-take out next time?? :D

baka di takeout. delivery na lang.

I guess ok lang ang tumikim. Wag lang mag-takeout.

when you gladly do things you dislike, simply because you're doing it for her.

depends on the chemistry. pag wala shake hands or fist bump na lang.

It's tough. A friend said he went to a spa and was cuddling a therapist while in the lobby. Suddenly the bf appeared unannounced and my friend saw how shattered the guy was. And the girl just couldn't leave him.

To be in a relationship like this you need two things: an iron stomach so you can bear the realities of her work. And a forgiving heart, so you can look beyond what she does to survive.

"Any man can sweep any woman off her feet... he just needs to get the right broom." Sabi nga ni Hitch.

 

Sometimes, this is just a matter of your approach. Too available? Suffocating. Too caring? Parent like. Too many questions? Smothering. Too gentleman? Boring! Too aggressive? Intentions questionable.

 

Given the right timing and style, we are bound to break our rules. And I mean rules as qualifications. Tall, dark, handsome, mestizo, chinito, matalino, graduate of La Salle, UP or Ateneo. Lawyer, doctor, engineer, architect. May kotse, may bahay, may negosyo. All of which are just like filters to screen who we will let to pass and to be filtered again to the next level. If you hit us right, you have no idea how much we are willing to give exeptions. There will always be because even us ourselves are willing to give and to reconsider.

 

To be blunt, kahit sobrang panget pa ng tao sa kahit pa kaninong beholder's eye, if you hit us right, you don't have any idea how hot you still appear in our eyes. And you don't even have any idea to what extent we include you in our imagination.

Good point. Most women have checklists of the qualifications of men they prefer.

But sometimes a small opening is just what a man needs: a moment of vulnerability perhaps, or a craving for adventure. or even plain boredom can make a girl receptive.

It's like a boxing match. Even if pundits say that the odds are against you, if a man can detect that opening and deliver that punch, voila! he wins and the girl is his.

Tip lang bro. As you get on with the relationship, never ever put her on a guilt trip about her work. Walang sumbatan ika nga.

If you want sex and she says no. Never say any of these:

Bakit ayaw mo? Dahil ba walang bayad?

Or bakit ayaw mo? Diba sanay ka naman humawak niyan araw-araw?

Or bakit dahil ba walang tip? Eh di magti-tip ako!

This is a scenario I've heard over the years from therapists whose partners are aware of their work. No matter how many times I hear this story, it always breaks my heart.

As some of the guys pointed out, there's a similar thread with lots of insights on your situation.

Just keep in mind that there is one undeniable thing: as long as your girl is in the industry, she will have to deal with a lot of men, most of them strangers. Is this something you are open-minded enough to accept?

If you are unwilling or unable to get her off the industry, it will be a source of tension between you two. Even if she says it's just a job, you know there will be some intimate moments with others, limited only by the spa's promos and her self-imposed limits.

And what do you do if you read an FR about her, exaggerated or not? Do you confront her? Or do you suffer privately?

You are in a difficult situation bro, one in which I can relate. Good luck.

I love the Beatles, Stones, Led Zep.

Lately I've been listening to the music of a band that should've made it really big: Badfinger.

im not sure if Omakase is authentic (there's one in Greenhills), but their zigzag roll is the best!

 

It's their bestseller, with soft shell crab something on top. Super must try !

 

 

(thanks to the blogger - shootfirsteatlater.com )

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8227/8485269972_944db88fd5_z.jpg

Authentic or not, Omakase is the best Jap resto for me. But if you really want to go for authenticity, try Little Tokyo in front of Makati Square. It's a cluster of restaurants that serve Jap food.