dibdba

One advise for GMs is to never go to a spa when you're lonely. You can visit when you're horny, or bored, or in a celebratory mood, but never when you're lonely. Being lonely means being vulnerable. And being vulnerable makes it easier for you to fall in love.

 

 

( for gms : if a thera really love you. she will do anything para makaalis dito with or without your help. kasi automatic na yan eh.. kung mahal ka talaga nya iisipin nya kung ano mararamdaman mo everytime magkaclient sya. )

 

 

-SITTI

I agree. Many years back, I met this girl in the industry and eventually we became a couple.

The day we became a couple was the day that the guilt really started bothering her. She dreaded entering her workplace, and she dreaded requests even from previous and good clients. She braved on, but after about a month she left. She said intimate moments should only be with me and she could not bear being touched by other men.

She got a low-paying job as a clerk where she had officemates who were trying to flirt and harass her. She would always say, "hanggang tingin lang naman sila, sa iyo lang naman ako." I could've supported her, but she refused even one peso.

We eventually broke up when she ended the relationship. The guy who got her pregnant a few years earlier offered to marry her and make her family whole. She had to do it for the kid and as far as I know they're still together.

It's this experience that created that small part of me that still believes there are decent girls in the industry. Yes, it's a small part that's gotten even smaller and smaller over the years. When you've seen this industry long enough, you'll know or hear of stories about hustlers, con-artists, sob-story-experts, and pathological liars. Maraming "best actresses." And a lot of these girls have no remorse about the things they've done and will gladly do it to the next gullible guy.

I guess I'm just fortunate to have met her.

great read,.,.,.

Just sharing..

 

I, myself, have been a Thera before in a MP, 6 years ago.. I've been through this kind of relationship wherein one of my guests got me out of this industry and supported me financially.. His name was RM, he was my regular for about 3 months and he used to visit me in my workplace around 3-4 times a week (with ES) and he picks me up from work almost every night.. We are not in a "commitment" as what he always say.. He insists that he's a businessman and he doesn't have time and chance to engage in a romantic relationship.. He said he just wanted to help me, that's all.. I was then a nursing student who stopped for two years due to financial incapacity. An amount of 30k is hitting my account every 8th of the month, nothing compared to how much I am earning but a great start for people like me who wanted to quit the job and focus on my studies. Just so you know, this started as a deal between us. The only thing he's asking in return is for me to quit and forget the industry I have been for more than a year. He asked me to change my number and not communicate with anybody from the said business - friends, guests, co-theras, everybody.. He wanted me to meet new friends, new environment.. I did so not until his mom found out about a "ghost employee" in their company's payroll.. Yes, he is a bachelor, a businessman, an expat and a mama's boy..

It was so sudden when I stopped receiving my monthly 'support', and haven't heard from him for a month, wherein he used to call and chat with me every night before he goes to sleep.. Just heard about his "mom" thing from a former colleague.. Yes, he still visits the MP.. The awkward thing is, from the day we had the deal, he stopped "doing" it with me..

He said he wanted me to feel like a normal person and get the respect that he wants me to receive.. I loved him, yes... I loved him that much that I feel jealous whenever I hear about the different therapists he is getting everytime he visits my former workplace.. But of course, I can't complain.. One of the rules is for me to not get in touch again with anybody from the 'business'.. Afraid that he will question me back.. I have broken only this rule.. But I NEVER EVER did it with ANYBODY again.. I don't have a boyfriend that time and it's him that I consider as my boyfriend though he doesn't see it that way..

To cut the story short, I went back to college to pursue my studies with the help of his money.. I was in my 3rd year then.. Though it lasted for only 6 months, I kept the promise to myself that I won't go back since I already got out.. I managed to be a scholar in a university.. fees weren't that high, my dad was self employed, my mom got a job from a security agency as a lady guard.. In short, I made it.. I graduated last 2010, passed the board exam in my first take.. I am working as a staff nurse here in Abu Dhabi for 2 years now.. Still single, 28, yet love life is in the least of my priority..

Haven't heard of him until now.. He changed his number 6 years ago..

If we will be given the chance to bump with each other again, I would really want to give him a big hug and express my gratitude and big big thanks for helping me "get-out".. Wondering if it weren't for him, I may not be where I am now.. He's got a special place in my heart and he will never be forgotten..

Great post. Though was initially thrown off by your handle which sounded like a guy's.

My you find the right guy soon.

I met an MPA many, many years ago. Being beautiful, she had countless suitors.

Her biggest fear is that when she enters the VIP room, the person who requested her is someone she rejected in the past. And that someone will now exact revenge by ravaging her physically and scarring her emotionally. Her fears never came true, but never left her. Even after she left, she still feared that a client would recognize her and spill her secret. We live in a cruel society where a chance meeting with a former client can destroy her post-MP/Spa life.

My point is, if you guys intend to pursue relationships with therapists or MPAs, go ahead but think very hard. Keep in mind that the rules are different. Her defense mechanisms that allowed her to cope with her work will always be buried in her psyche. She has hangups which a non-spa girl will never have.

Let's assume you got involved with a decent spa worker and not one of those hustlers with countless concurrent boyfriends.

What happens if you really really want sex and she refuses? Will you have the self-control to refrain from reminding her about her past? Or will you insult her by saying that you're willing to pay?

What happens when you can't support her and she wants to go back to the spa to earn? Will you go wacko and insult her? I know someone who even made a scene at her workplace just so the girl won't be re-admitted to the spa.

What if you see her too friendly with another guy? Are you capable of trusting her? Or will her previous life flash before your eyes and judge her?

And unless you've had at least one serious relationship outside the spa, think twice about pursuing a therapist. You're probably confusing lust with love.

There's always a chance that things will turn out fine for the guy and the therapist as some have posted "success stories." But the odds are against you.

The odds of a pusher surviving in Duterte's Davao are higher than the odds of a successful thera-client relationship. There are a handful of success stories, but are rare and most end in disappointment and anger.

When asked if a guy should continue a relationship with a therapist I always say "go for it!" He just has to meet two conditions. First, he has to have enough money to get her out of the business. This will give the relationship a chance to succeed. Second, he has to have a lot of patience. Patience to overcome mutual distrust. Patience for the girl to wean herself from the habits of the industry. And finally accept that at some point the patience may run out and he will have to walk away.

If you do not have both money and patience, don't even think about it. Maybe you just want free sex. Or you just want to add to your list of conquests.

I’m not being a knight in shining armor here but I think the lady has a point. And most probably it’s the same feeling for most girls in this thriving industry. The way I understood her post is “bigyan naman natin sila ng konting respeto” now is that too much to ask? I think not. Being in this kind of work is hard enough already let us not make it any harder for them. Symbiotic ang relationship ng Gm’s and theras it can both be beneficial and at the same time harmful to both parties. I think they have had enough of the judging and the generalizing Society has already done that. Now to Gms that got duped by theras , it was your decision na nagpaloko kayo in the first place and its quite unfair to put the blame on every girl that works in this industry. Lets drop that male ego and be compassionate. Same goes for the Theras, there are still good men around don’t stop believing you still have your own story to write. So let’s just enjoy the real reason why we are all here… ending

You'd be surprised at the lack of respect in this thread.

For maybe a decade now, I've been following this thread and its cousin (falling in love with MPAs, GROs, etc.) with which it has since merged. Majority will say don't be in this relationship. A few will say they are and are trying to beg for understanding, if not empathy. And then there are people who are obsessed with putting down girls in the industry and the guys who patronize it. You can see people call guys in this relationship as a bunch of gullible idiots incapable of finding love elsewhere. And girls are given horrible labels I won't even repeat and give dignity to. And the worst are those who proudly say that these relationships are beneath them.

I probably answered a few of their posts, but for the most part I've ignored them. One thing I've learned in life is that if a person hates something or someone with a passion, he hates part of himself. Such hatred can only come from within. In this case the guy may be one of those spurned or fooled by a therapist, or is close to someone who was. Or it may even be a therapist posing as a guy. Or a gf who lost her man to a thera. You'll never really know as the forum gives everyone a cloak of anonymity.

What we do know is that there are haters. And they will always judge. And you can invoke the logic of Locke or Rosseau, but they will always hate because that's who they are. They will never acknowledge that there's this tiny, tiny possibility that love can be found in this place.

So guys, wag magmahal kung di mo kayang ipaglaban at suportahan. And girls, mag-isip muna bago magtiwala. Good luck to all.

As in any situation, people develop defense mechanisms to help them cope or rationalize whatever it is they have to do. Ladies in the industry are not exceptions. We can claim to understand them, but the reality is we can only guess as each girl's situation is unique.

Most girls have been forced into the industry because of financial reasons. Some to support their family and some to support their lifestyle. But it's not always about money. I got acquainted more than a decade ago with an MPA and she said that she's in the industry because she loved sex. I used to give her name when someone asked for a reco, and she never complained about money but only about customers who didn't perform. Up to now, I still think of her when I hear the phrase "get paid for the things you enjoy doing."

So is it possible to find love in spas? Of course, it is. And it has happened before, but the odds are against you. Much, much, much against you.

Good luck.

i know someone who hits women because it's "normal" in the environment he was raised in. His mom was beaten by his dad. His sisters were beaten by their husbands. And so he thinks there's nothing wrong with beating his wife.

Good thing his wife left him.

Sometimes you just want someone to hold your hand and remind you that everything's gonna be ok.

Face, in particular the eyes and the smile. Plus points for wearing eyeglasses.

Anything that threatens the Church, its teachings, and influence will always be attacked. Think of the RH Law. Or the Rizal Law in the 50s when the Church and its supporters warned that reading the Noli and Fili will "endanger the flock's salvation."

Difficult, but there's a way.

Sex. Sex when he wants it. Sex even if he doesn't want it.

started reading an old philo book that was so profound, it always gave me headaches. it worked. and then i had both heartache and headache.

Women have sex only when :

• in love
• in heat
• they want something
• nakukulitan at naawa sa iyo (mercy f*ck)

True love is its own reward. But love, no matter how genuine is not always returned.

So what do you do? As long as you don't go on a downward spiral pursuing unrequited love, you are doing the right thing.

it's the kind of environment they were brought up to, violence was normal in their life stage, particularly at home.

Physically hurting women is always wrong, of course, but this helps explain why the abuse continues. Beating women up is normal in some households. I know this girl who married into a mild-mannered family and it was too late when she realized that beating women up was part of the deal.

The hubby said his mom was beaten up, and his sisters are being beaten up, so she should just accept it. She couldn't. And she left the guy. She later said that she didn't want her young son to think that physical abuse is normal. At least in her case, the cycle of violence ended.

Mid teens, I think looks reign supreme for girls. However, past a certain age, perhaps 25, girls start to look more beyond a guy's looks and see if he has more to offer.

And good luck sa girls na pumili ng panget dahil lang akala nila di sila lolokohin.

mjo mas malaki lng tlga ng konti ang impact sah therapist. Kze sah dmi ng lalaking naeencounter everyday. Mjo mhirap nah tlga macapture ung heart ng therapist. Kze unang una mjo hirap kya mgtiwala. Nung bago pah nga lng aqu ngkakabiruan nah golden rule dw ng therapist is 'never fall for a client' eh wla mtgas ulo qu d npigilan haha. Todo todo tlga. To the point nah wla ng maitira. Kya lng siempre ending iiyak at iiyak tlga ng dugo. Siempre client un. Client. So pg wla nah. Mi possibility nah kumuha sia ibng therapist so mjo masakit tlga. So d dn tlga masisi f bqt ibng therapist nggng bato nah:) defense un. Hay ewan. Gugulo pah dn utak qu til now. Pero he is a great guy tlga. Kasalanan qu nmn tlga. Case to case basis dn. bsta bsta. As to my case. Ang ironic lng. Kze he makes me feel alive pero at the same time.. Im dying inside

Your description of "feeling alive while dying inside" is ironic and sad.

I think one reason why it's difficult for the therapist is that there's so much defense mechanism in place and when the guy gets pass the walls...it can be pretty intense. I can only imagine the joy...and the pain.

Naisip ko lang iyong kaibigan kong therapist. Daming humahabol sa kanya. Pero iyong pinili niya, halatang nagsawa na at napipilitan lang ipagpatuloy iyong relasyon nila. Kahit sa sex tumatanggi na rin iyong guy. Parang hinihintay lang na makipag break iyong girl.

+1

 

Iiyak kah tlga ng dugo .. :|

Kaya ako never na inlab sa guest.

Was chatting with a thera-friend last night. She's having problems with a client turned bf. Seems the guy has gotten tired of her after she's given the relationship her all. So yes, the heartbreak does go both ways.

 

^and while you're smitten head over heels with her, she's laughing her way to the bank na with yer cash.... thanks but no thanks though, wala ako intensyon makipag relasyon o kahit makipag holding hands man lang sa babaeng "humahaplos" sa kasingit-singitan ng katawan ng iba't ibang lalake sa araw-araw i dont want me catching some other dude's crabs hahahaha....

well, good for you then. my guess is most of these guys got into this by accident. i seriously doubt anybody among them just woke up and said, "today i want to fall for a therapist." it just happens.

but doesn't really matter. as you said, you don't intend to walk in their shoes. i assume they're too dirty for you.

I just don't get it...what motivates any man want to get into a relationship with a girl na araw-araw tumatrabaho ng iba't ibang lalake? desperation? boredom? curiosity? whatever it may be, things like this is supposed to be common sense already ....

Try mo mag-spa para ma-gets mo.

Ang tao nalulungkot. At pag nakita niya iyong bagay o lugar na nakakapawi ng lungkot niya, babalik-balikan niya ito. Pagkaraan ng panahon, ang pagpawi ng lungkot ay nagbubunga ng pag-ibig, kahit panandalian lamang.

Ang tao ay marupok. At pag hinaplos ng pagmamahal ang puso niya, natutukso siya at napapaibig. Di na niya iniisip kung ano ang hanapbuhay ng dilag. Ang importante sa kanya, napapasaya siya.

Pag bigla na lang madalas siyang mag-accuse na cheater ka kahit wala ka namang ginagawa.

This puts you on the defensive. Instead na iisipin mo kung may ginagawa siya, mas mapapaisip ka kung may ginagawa ka na nami-misinterpret.

I can't really pinpoint your gender by your nick and I'm too lazy to check your profile.

 

Anyway dear, I cannot believe you'd still post a statement like that! Where have you been living?! Lol. It's already 2015 if a person wants to cheat or finds a reason, regardless of his or her gender, then he or she will.

 

That double standard statement of "di maiiwasan kse lalake yan" infuriates me. When I was in my own respective relationships before, I was tempted not just once (but many times) to do it with someone else but I fought the urge for many reasons but simply and mainly because I was in a relationship that time. That's why I will not accept the reasoning that it (cheating) is inevitable coz I believe it is if the person really fights it.

You are right: inevitably it all boils down to choice.

A man may choose to cheat, but he can also choose to be loyal.

A man may choose to limit his moves to flirting. At the same time, he can choose to take his prize to bed.

Men are wired to be polygamous, but that doesn't mean we have to hump at every opportunity. It still and will always be defined by choice.

I don't know why despite the super traffic and gastos, I feel giddy and hopeful every valentine's day.. kahit walang lovelife nga eh. Maybe I love the loving atmosphere feeling. Everyone seemed happy.

Only the cynical, the tortured, the busy, and the downtrodden hate Valentine's day.

It's still a perfect time to be giddy and hopeful for yourself or the couples around you.

Pathological liars. Women who will deny and deny even when faced with overwhelming evidence.

Women who compartmentalize their lovelife and create a certain persona to fit each of her current boyfriends.