LYCHEE Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 the transformation of a mr. jeckl to a dr. hyde(n).. hayden camera hayd en shoothayd en sickhymen kho Quote Link to comment
uaeboy25 Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 the transformation of a mr. jeckl to a dr. hyde(n).. hayden camera hayd en shoothayd en sickhymen kho haha. naging polictician na si hayden kho. hayden ko daw for senator, ano kaya itsura ng senate kung magtatabi tabi sina ramon revilla, jinggoy, lapid at hayden hahaha. tapos nakatitig sa kanila si miiiriam at ping. weheheh joke joke jjoke Quote Link to comment
King Nothing Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 what does Lucifer have in common with politicians?they both sweet talk people into handing them very precious stuff.but at least Lucifer delivers on his promises! I like this one.... anyway here's what I know... If PRO is the opposite of CON, Is CONgres the opposite of PROgress? :boo: :boo: :boo: :boo: :boo: Quote Link to comment
Ryuji_tanaka Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 what do you get when you cross a pig and a politician?nothing! even pigs have standards! Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 A recently deceased politician arrived in purgatory/limbo. He was amazed at the vast numbers of souls existing there so he asked one of them if this was the afterlife. The other soul looked at him and said, "heaven's gate is closed to us and hell won't accept us so we are doomed to oblivion hereafter." Quote Link to comment
LYCHEE Posted June 17, 2009 Share Posted June 17, 2009 satan was touring erap in hell when he saw marcos drowning in the sea of fire up to his neck and ramos threading in the same sea of fire up to his shoulders. but ws surprised to see GMA with her glorious smile in the sea of fire but only up to her legs...when erap asked why, the prince of darkness replied: "ah, dats becuz she's standing on top of her husband's shoulders!" :upside: Quote Link to comment
JackMeOff Posted June 25, 2009 Share Posted June 25, 2009 I've got a great joke for everyone................................................................................The philippine government. Quote Link to comment
uaeboy25 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 SLOGAN OF FAMOUS RP PRESIDENTS: Marcos – MABUHAY ANG PILIPINO!Aquino – LABAN PILIPINO!Ramos – SULONG PILIPINO!Erap – CASINO PILIPINO!Gloria – NALOKO KO ANG PILIPINO! Sa isang cabinet meeting at the height of the hello garci controversy: GMA: kung sino man ang matamaan ng bolang ito ay siyang magresign. Okay? Cabinet members: Okay po ma’am Initsa ni GMA ang bola, tumalbog pabalik sa kanya. GMA: O, praktis lang yon noh? Okay ulet. Quote Link to comment
uaeboy25 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 ----------------------------------------------- All of us has a book of acccount as what we have done on earth while we stll living, we call this, BOOKs OF LIFE. One is on the right and other on the left in which St. Peter in-charge. Does the name of the couple who just climbed in Malacanang and never get out anymore could be found on both Books of Life?Ganito pangyayari:Gloria: unang lumapit kay San Pedro, pagkat siya ang nasa unahan nakapila, tinanong niya si San Pedro; Senior SanPedro, Ako po ay si Gloria na pangulo ng Pilipinas. San Pedro: Ikaw kamo!! Di ba ninakaw mo lang ang trono bilang Pangulo ng Pilipinas. Gloria: Di ko po ninakaw ang trono. legal na hinalal. San Pedro: Pero ayon dito sa monitoring record dalwang besis mo ninakaw ang Pagka-Pangulo. Una: co-conspiracy ng civil society, JDV, FVR, pinuno ng religious group tulad ni Cardinal Sin at ibang Obispo at Pari. Pangalawa: dagdag bawas katulong mo si Garcillano at ka-alyado mo congressmen. Gloria: Hindi po!! San Pedro: Ayon dito naka-hook up sa Hello Garci, boses mo, tama ba? Gloria: EH..O. Opo!! San Pedro: Talagang sinungaling ka at nagnanakaw. pangalan mo wala dito sa Book of life nasa kanang ko, kundi dito sa sa kaliwa na listahan ng mga nagnanakaw, criminal at ibang maka-kasalanan- Kay Lucifer kayo. Quote Link to comment
Taz36 Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 Boy Bastos goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: #1. I'm the head of the family, so call me GMA. #2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. #3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. #4. Your Yaya Inday, we'll consider her the Working Class. #5. And your baby brother Junior, we'll call him the Future. "Now, think about that and see if it makes sense." So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has totally crapped in his diaper. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to his yaya's room. Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with Inday. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Magaling, Boy Bastos! Tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Si GMA yinayari pala talaga ang Working Class, tapos yung Government walang ginawa kundi tulog lang nang tulog. The People hindi pinapansin and the Future... nakalubog na sa ebak!" Quote Link to comment
howarddeduct Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Miriam Santiago, has challenged the least intelligent presidentiable to a televised debate. To make things interesting, Miriam says that every time she asks Erap a question which he cannot answer, Erap has to pay Miriam five pesos. BUT if Erap asks Miriam a question which she cannot answer, Miriam has to give Erap five thousand pesos. Miriam asks the first question: ‘What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?’ Erap doesn’t say a word, reaches for his wallet, pulls out a five-peso bill and hands it to Miriam. Now, it’s his turn. He asks Miriam: ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ Miriam looks at him with a puzzled look. She whips out her laptop computer and searches all her references. She taps into the phone with her modem and searches the Net. Frustrated, she sends E-mails to all her aides, assistants, and friends. All to no avail. After over an hour, she admits defeat and hands Erap five 1000-peso bills. Erap says nothing, but politely accepts the P5,000 and turns away to go home. Miriam is a poor sport and demands from Erap, ‘Well, so what IS the answer!?’ Without a word, Erap pulls out his wallet and gives Miriam another five pesos…. Quote Link to comment
howarddeduct Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I like this one.... anyway here's what I know... If PRO is the opposite of CON, Is CONgres the opposite of PROgress? :boo: :boo: :boo: :boo: :boo:Very true. The reason I don't follow the CONstitution is because I follow PROstitution. :evil: Quote Link to comment
amante Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Quote for the week: "As far as I'm concerned...talk to my lawyer." Quote Link to comment
rockybrawler Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 I remember this SAN MIGUEL PALE PILSEN joke at the height of the Aquino Galman double murders Sa Airport Nangyari May Isang Galman Umentra Eh Laglag Patay Aquino Laglag Eroplano Putang Imelda Lusot Sana Eh Nabuking!!!! Quote Link to comment
amante Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I remember this SAN MIGUEL PALE PILSEN joke at the height of the Aquino Galman double murders wow! panahon na un....bawal pa ako uminom ng beer! sorry bro, just couldnt resist :hypocritesmiley: Quote Link to comment
sniper93 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 malapit na mag open si big brother... ipasok natin lahat ng mga Presidentiables para magkaalaman na ng mas maaga. For sure may bibigay sa mga yan. Im proposing this a second time. D na natin kailangan ng modernization sa comelec... txt na lang. Quote Link to comment
amante Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 malapit na mag open si big brother... ipasok natin lahat ng mga Presidentiables para magkaalaman na ng mas maaga. For sure may bibigay sa mga yan. Im proposing this a second time. D na natin kailangan ng modernization sa comelec... txt na lang.ha ha!not an entirely bad idea! :thumbsupsmiley: Quote Link to comment
uaeboy25 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 ha ha!not an entirely bad idea! :thumbsupsmiley: ang problem kung pagsasamasamahin ang presidentiable baka pumasok si willie nepomuceno. :thumbsupsmiley: Quote Link to comment
Ryuji_tanaka Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 May sumigaw ng "Magnanakaw ang mga Arroyo!".May nagreact "Pre, ang sakit mo naman magsalita!""Bakit Arroyo ka ba?""Hindi! magnanakaw ako! pero di kami ganun ka halang ang bituka!" Quote Link to comment
wizard23 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Manny Pacquiao was holding a press con. beside him was Chavit Singson. in the middle of the press con, dumating at napadaan si FG Mike Arroyo sa press con ni Manny Pacquiao. bumulong si Chavit ke Pacman, "dumating si FG kahit late. i acknowledge mo na lang ang presence nya." eto sabi ni pacman - "I would like to acknowledge the late First Gentleman Mike Arroyo who just passed away." Quote Link to comment
rockybrawler Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 wow! panahon na un....bawal pa ako uminom ng beer! sorry bro, just couldnt resist :hypocritesmiley:Correct. 1983 yan bro but hindi pa din ako puede uminom ng beer nun. Ikinuwento lang sa akin ng sauna bath attendant. Quote Link to comment
camiar Posted December 1, 2009 Author Share Posted December 1, 2009 Lost A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude. "She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat." "I am,"replied the man. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me." The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" "Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault." Quote Link to comment
kawawangpinoy Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 for txt msg how do you know that when gloria is lying? when her mouth is moving Quote Link to comment
uaeboy25 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng kubeta Nakapag chongke ka na ba sa gitna ng kalsadaYan ang tanong namin tunay ka bang isa sa aminNalaman mo na bang mapapagrugby ka niyaTutulungan tayo para maging sindikato at ang kanyang plano ay magnakaw tayo! Si Villar ang tunay na mahirapSi Villar ang tunay na walang gilagidSi Villar ang may kakayahan na gumawa ng sariling sugalan Si Manny Villar ang maghahakot ng ating Kayamanan! (this was sent to me by my classmate...) HERE ARE YOUR PRESIDENTIABLES:VILLAR-tondo boyNOYNOY- mama's boyGIBO- admin boyERAP- lover boyGORDON- amboyEDDIE V.-altar boyJAMBY M. - "If I were a boy" hehe Quote Link to comment
boydapa11 Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 every time you watch the commercial add of this presidentiable. matatawa ka na talaga. lalo yung bago ni ERAP, pinutol daw at kinitil ang na umpisahang kasaganahan. MAY GANON?!? hehehe. haiiisst.. kawawang Juan, mukhang walang pag pipilian. Quote Link to comment
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