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thony...

 

this is strange but i remember saying this to two of my friends just a few days back.

 

it is in your power to say stop. you are really the only one who can say til when you can hack out that hard work you have chosen with an open heart and mind. for so long as your heart and your soul are still strong, your body will recover.

 

stay steadfast for as long as you can. but bear in mind its alright to say "enough"... remember, we all have to live to fight another day, and win yet another battle. better yet, we gotta remain strong to win the war.

 

-k

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thony...

 

this is strange but i remember saying this to two of my friends just a few days back.

 

it is in your power to say stop. you are really the only one who can say til when you can hack out that hard work you have chosen with an open heart and mind. for so long as your heart and your soul are still strong, your body will recover.

 

stay steadfast for as long as you can. but bear in mind its alright to say "enough"... remember, we all have to live to fight another day, and win yet another battle. better yet, we gotta remain strong to win the war.

 

-k

K,

 

I know the power is within me. Just like the way the soldier walked away from the princess right after he finished the 1000 day vigil in front of her tower. Do you by chance know the story? It is a beautiful short story. :)

 

Still though knowing you have the power and exercising the power are two different things. Somethings wielding something is harder than acquiring it.

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thony...

 

i trust you enough to know that you will use that power in the right way.

whether you choose to carry a torch for 9s the rest of your life...

or you move on and love another...

 

what remains is that the entire experience of loving 9s, albeit secretly... has somehow made you into the person you are now.

 

and that you cannot get from anywhere else.

 

in the end, its all good.

 

yes i know the story, one of my favorites....

 

-k

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G

 

I have never been rejected before,

never been brushed aside,

 

but stop it already,

your doing more damage

and I'll hold you responsible for it.

 

You'll see, one day,

you'll look for me,

but I wont be there anymore.

 

Id be somewhere else

out of reach

 

 

B

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B,

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat, tears in my eyes, heart palpitating like mad. That dream seem so real.

You have no idea how much the thought of losing you scares me.

Thank you for being there to assure me you'd keep your promise.

Love,

T.

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I have never been rejected before,

never been brushed aside,

 

but stop it already,

your doing more damage

and I'll hold you responsible for it.

 

You'll see, one day,

you'll look for me,

but I wont be there anymore.

 

Id be somewhere else

out of reach

Roughly:

 

No sentirse rechazado antes

No hacer caso de cualquiera

Tu causa muchos daños

Yo hacer a alguien responsable

Como vez, una dia

Como vez, buscares para mio

Pero yo no mas ahi

Estoy en otra parte

Fuera del alcance

 

:rolleyes:

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Y

 

"waiting" has now become an archaic word.

"missing you" has devolved into the realm of dead languages.

"anytime" i now consider the sweetest word I've heard from you.

 

even only through voice, i thank you for allowing our lives to merge more freely now. unlike before when my thoughts were like beasts straining on a leash, now they are free to alight on you. like birds in formation, our everydays would now fly in the same direction.....love you so much, sweetie.

 

N

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I saw you today. You smiled and waved at me across the library. You asked me about my review and I grunted out a reply. The conversation went back and forth and yet all the time I was concentrating on your eyes. Never mind that you flashed me that beautiful smile of yours several times, never mind that your scent still sends shiver down my spine. It was your eyes. They look happy. They are happy. Deep inside of me, I hope that your eyes are happy because of me, but then we'll never know right? We'll never know until I screw up the courage and endanger the stability of the core. The other members of the core, give me encouragement and they tease me about you, but all of us know that the moment I cross the line, the moment when I betray your trust, the core will never be the same again.

 

**sigh**

:unsure:

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a "job" is a job................people don't take that lightly

 

as for me im letting myself be at a standstill....................even if people say im not supposed to...keep myself moving.........or my mind at least...............if i give myself another month of torment or torture will i recover?...............have to "heal" in my own way.............the thing is sleep comes at the most abrupt times nowadays....been trying to do something about it...it was almost normal until today.............oh well.....later.... ;) B)

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I'm tired already. I feel sleepy and would really welcome the warm embrace of my nappy spot. You're playing games though, you know I really can't fall asleep until I've gathered each and every text greeting from the core. I think you purposely held yourself to be the last one to text me. You think you're being playful, you really don't know the depths of the cruelty that you're causing me. I can feel the tick of every single agonizing second, waiting for you to text me. I have a glazed look in my eyes whenever my phone signals that I have a new message.

 

 

 

And then you texted me: happy birthday thony!

 

 

With those three simple words, reality comes crashing back in, I'm both relieved and sad. I know, I'll see you later. It it the only thing that will really get me out of bed, the thought of seeing you.

 

For now I sleep, safe and secure that you still don't know...

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