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Always Follow Your Heart ( Daw. )


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Always follow your heart if you want to be truly happy; but it doesn't mean that you have to follow it blindly. You must take into consideration the circumstances surrounding your relationship, and then even if there are some complications, you must ask yourself if you can live with those complications and be happy. If you can be happy even with the unfortunate things that comes from having a relationship with a certain someone, then go for it.

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and why do some people hold back, i mean may mga tao they love someone pero they choose not to show it... they just try to suppress it... why are they doing it..?

 

 

perhaps.. its better to hold back dahil magiging super gulo kapag pinakita nila ang feelings nila..

 

 

to prevent world war 3 na rin? hehe

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I am a believer of this. When I follow my heart, I become truly, genuinely happy. Though there are some things that I keep in mind before pursuing what it is that my heart wants.

 

Years ago, I made the mistake of following my heart at the expense of hurting other people. And to this day, it still gives me some guilt. I chose to be selfish instead of thinking of those who loved and cared for me. Those are moments I can never get back.

 

I did learn though. I learned to follow my heart, but I make sure there are no casualties. I make sure that I fight for what I want and for what I believe is right, but at the same time I learned to not inflict wounds that are unwarranted. So far it has worked well for me and for those around me.

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What if you are already married, then found someone better in all aspects with the one you are married with and that some also reciprocates that love. Would you still follow your heart?

So just to clear this out: you're a man and you're married. You met someone that you think you're very compatible with. Now you want to leave your marriage to pursue something more with this somebody. Is that right?

 

To answer your question, if you think being with that someone will make you happy in the long run, then go for it. It's your life. You get to choose your own happiness.

 

But unfortunately, you don't get to choose your casualties. Is this what's making you hesitate?

 

Like my previous post, there are some things that you need to think over. These are the ones at the top of my head:

 

1.) You need to make sure that this will grant you long term happiness. Like decades from now. Do you still see yourself being with this person? Do you see yourself still being happy with her? More importantly, do you see her still being happy with you?

 

2.) You need to live with the fact that you chose to leave your wife behind, just because you found someone "better" in all aspects. I'm not sure how your relationship is with your wife, if you have children etc. But I can tell you that (usually) if a woman has given herself to you in marriage, and you decide to leave her just because you found someone more attuned to your disposition, it will affect her negatively. Her self-esteem will go down. It will take her a while to recover. You, on the other hand, have, in a way, already moved on. You have someone new to love and to cherish now.

 

3.) You need to be willing to sacrifice. At the expense of possibly hurting those around you. At the expense of your reputation. You need to make sure if this really is worth going through.

 

It seems to me that you asking for advice means that something is already making you hesitate. I don't know what that is but I doubt anything we tell you can significantly influence what your heart really wants. I'm not sure if you want to be encouraged or discouraged. But if you're hesitating, that already means something.

 

I would suggest for you to think things through. On your own, and really reflect on everything. Find out if you're willing to sacrifice for this, and make sure whoever it is you're devoted to is worthy.

 

Most importantly, make sure that whatever decision you make will make you happy. Make sure that attaining this happiness for you is so important that it worthy of every ounce of effort you're willing to put in.

 

Have a good night.

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That's the consequence of surrounding yourself with walls.

 

The thing with walls is that you can successfully keep others out but at the cost of being trapped. Yes, you spare yourself the pain, but you give up the chance for happiness.

 

In the end, one party is frustrated. And the other doesn't know what he's missing.

 

 

That's the consequence of surrounding yourself with walls.

 

The thing with walls is that you can successfully keep others out but at the cost of being trapped. Yes, you spare yourself the pain, but you give up the chance for happiness.

 

In the end, one party is frustrated. And the other doesn't know what he's missing.

 

i just wonder how can we convince someone that he is missing something..? how can we make somneone step out of his walls?

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a good example would be me. ive been married even before most of you were born so i know what im talking about. i stayed until my youngest turned 18. now looking back, we should have separated earlier so both of us would have a good chance to try again with another partner. alas time as past us by......

 

my parents are married, yung kasal nila pinasara buong baranggay, but you know whats weird, their marriage only lasts for 5 years, then i have a stepfather ngsama nila sila ni mami for 13 years.. ang weird lng.. thats why i honestly dont believe in marriage..

 

Well, sometimes you can call it the ego, or you can call it naninigurado. For some, you wouldn't really want to show your hand until you're pretty sure you've got the winning one, right?

 

its called kaduwagan. i find those people weak. right?

?

For me people hold back they true feelings coz they think, if they will show the real feelings it will cause problem like bka lumayo yung taong minamahal nya pag nalaman na ganun ang na feel nya...

 

why dont they show them that they love her/him..? its weakness.

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So just to clear this out: you're a man and you're married. You met someone that you think you're very compatible with. Now you want to leave your marriage to pursue something more with this somebody. Is that right?

To answer your question, if you think being with that someone will make you happy in the long run, then go for it. It's your life. You get to choose your own happiness.

But unfortunately, you don't get to choose your casualties. Is this what's making you hesitate?

Like my previous post, there are some things that you need to think over. These are the ones at the top of my head:

1.) You need to make sure that this will grant you long term happiness. Like decades from now. Do you still see yourself being with this person? Do you see yourself still being happy with her? More importantly, do you see her still being happy with you?

2.) You need to live with the fact that you chose to leave your wife behind, just because you found someone "better" in all aspects. I'm not sure how your relationship is with your wife, if you have children etc. But I can tell you that (usually) if a woman has given herself to you in marriage, and you decide to leave her just because you found someone more attuned to your disposition, it will affect her negatively. Her self-esteem will go down. It will take her a while to recover. You, on the other hand, have, in a way, already moved on. You have someone new to love and to cherish now.

3.) You need to be willing to sacrifice. At the expense of possibly hurting those around you. At the expense of your reputation. You need to make sure if this really is worth going through.

It seems to me that you asking for advice means that something is already making you hesitate. I don't know what that is but I doubt anything we tell you can significantly influence what your heart really wants. I'm not sure if you want to be encouraged or discouraged. But if you're hesitating, that already means something.

I would suggest for you to think things through. On your own, and really reflect on everything. Find out if you're willing to sacrifice for this, and make sure whoever it is you're devoted to is worthy.

Most importantly, make sure that whatever decision you make will make you happy. Make sure that attaining this happiness for you is so important that it worthy of every ounce of effort you're willing to put in.

Have a good night.

 

Well said. My post earlier is similar to this post, the difference is that yours is more detailed. I would like to add that a time will come wherein you feel bored with the person you're married to, and then you'll meet someone that makes your pulse race faster again; you feel more comfortable with that someone else; you're happier than you've ever been. It would seem that your heart is telling you to leave the life that you have right now so you can be with her. Unless you got married because you were forced into it, remember that what you are feeling right now we're feelings that you've once felt with your wife before. There will come a time that you'll feel that your marriage is monotonous, that is why you feel much excitement with the person you are seeing right now. you are correct DR when you said that things must be reflected without any distraction; you might realize that what you thought you're feeling for the new girl might just be the excitement of having a new girl in your life. Try to rekindle your romance with your wife; go out on a vacation by your lonesome, have dinner dates etc. If after all of your efforts to make your marriage work failed, then you have a decision to make.

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i just wonder how can we convince someone that he is missing something..? how can we make somneone step out of his walls?

 

You don't. Simply bec wala na tayong pakialam sa trip ng taong yun. It's up to them if they choose to stay inside their comfort zone or not. Tanging sila lang ang makakapagsabi, para sa sarili nila, kung san talaga sila nakakaramdam ng kasiyahan.

 

Sometimes, it's not about doing something or being with someone just to feel happy - it's about finding happiness with whatever we have. Ang taong hindi marunong makuntento ay kailanman hindi magiging masaya.

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i just wonder how can we convince someone that he is missing something..? how can we make somneone step out of his walls?

 

Socrates was wise when he said: "Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but see who cares enough to break them down."

 

To break them down you will need two things of near-unlimited quantity--love and patience. You will also have to continuously ask yourself if he's still worth it. As long as your answer is a resounding yes, keep on and keep the faith.

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Would you follow your heart kahit na it means your love story would be "you and me against the world?", meaning your whole clan would deny you being a member of the family.. would it be worth it?? :unsure:

 

This depends on the parties involved. Kung pasaway si guy/girl at may history ng pagkakaroon ng hindi magandang ugali then this adage will not become applicable, mauuwi ka ngayon sa pagpili sa pamilya mo.

 

On the other hand, kung kilalang kilala mo na yung taong mahal mo at sa tingin mo ok syo ang ugali nya tsaka tingin mo meron ka magiging future sa kanya at nagkataon na yung buong pamilya mo eh sandamakmak lang ng mga bwisit na kinokontra ka na lang sa lahat ng ginagawa mo then choosing your love against your family becomes a logical choice - hence, "you and me against the world" ang magiging peg nyo.

 

Either way, yung mga ganitong bagay dapat pinag iisipan ng husto hindi yung padadala lang sa sobrang emosyon.

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Would you follow your heart kahit na it means your love story would be "you and me against the world?", meaning your whole clan would deny you being a member of the family.. would it be worth it?? :unsure:

This exact thing happened to me and my partner. And it turned out good :)

 

My girlfriend's family is affluent and influential. They didn't like me, and they cut ties with her when she chose to stay with me.

 

Of course, we had a lot to prove. And we managed. She proved that she could stand on her own. I proved that I can be a better man and will care for her no matter what. A few months later, her family was the one who reached out to us. They saw my efforts and welcomed me into their family.

 

Now four years later, my girlfriend and I are happier than ever before. Her parents have even asked me to address them as Daddy and Mommy now. We keep in touch with them and stay in their house during the holidays.

 

I'm happy that I chose to follow my heart, and that my girlfriend chose to as well. And that we were sincere and chose to make things work. We fought for our love and well, we succeeded :)

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probably they were hurt by the person they chose to love. So We can't blame them for holding back. For some, they were hurt so bad that they wont even entertain the notion of falling again. ..

 

so they choose to hurt someone who loves them nalang..? parang ganun po..?

 

 

 

perhaps.. its better to hold back dahil magiging super gulo kapag pinakita nila ang feelings nila..

 

 

to prevent world war 3 na rin? hehe

 

what do you mean to prevent world war 3 nadin..?

 

 

 

You don't. Simply bec wala na tayong pakialam sa trip ng taong yun. It's up to them if they choose to stay inside their comfort zone or not. Tanging sila lang ang makakapagsabi, para sa sarili nila, kung san talaga sila nakakaramdam ng kasiyahan.

 

Sometimes, it's not about doing something or being with someone just to feel happy - it's about finding happiness with whatever we have. Ang taong hindi marunong makuntento ay kailanman hindi magiging masaya.

 

 

hmmmmmm..

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you love someone, that someone doesn't love you, but he cares... sometimes. hmmm.. he's the only reason why you are still sane or your love for him/ her is the reason why sabihin na nating why you stick on being 'you' ( being matino ) lets just say he/she is your sanity. this may sound so funny but you are thinking kasi '' i need to be and stay like this, kasi baka one day he/she wants me again kaya dapat i dont fool around para when he/she loves me na im 'clean' padin and wala sia masusumbat'' but its also your love for him/her that causes you too much pain... what would you do..?

 

continue loving, waiting and hoping that someday somehow fate will help you,and he/she will love you too....even if it hurts like hell..

 

or just walk away............... hold for nothing ... hope for nothing.. then just wait when you will self destruct..?

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you love someone, that someone doesn't love you, but he cares... sometimes. hmmm.. he's the only reason why you are still sane or your love for him/ her is the reason why sabihin na nating why you stick on being 'you' ( being matino ) lets just say he/she is your sanity. this may sound so funny but you are thinking kasi '' i need to be and stay like this, kasi baka one day he/she wants me again kaya dapat i dont fool around para when he/she loves me na im 'clean' padin and wala sia masusumbat'' but its also your love for him/her that causes you too much pain... what would you do..?

 

continue loving, waiting and hoping that someday somehow fate will help you,and he/she will love you too....even if it hurts like hell..

 

or just walk away............... hold for nothing ... hope for nothing.. then just wait when you will self destruct..?

From how you described your feelings, I think this can be limerence love. Intense devotion, wanting reciprocation, intrusive thoughts. These are some of what defines limerence.

 

"Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies.

 

It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Limerencey can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by non-limerents as ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.

 

In cases of unrequited limerence, transient relief may be found by vividly imagining reciprocation from the limerent object." Source

 

Could it be limerence, Miss Sitti? How you describe your feelings reminds me much of my younger self. I vividly remember those feelings too. Those were also the times when I discovered this concept of limerence. Because if it is limerence, then I'm not sure if there's anything I can say to you to influence your feelings and train of thought.

 

My experience with limerence is that it really is a roller coaster ride. You have to stay through its ups and downs, so you can give yourself a sense of reason as to why you're going through this. If it goes well and it pushes through, it can then turn into love. If it doesn't go well, you just have to wait for it to lose its momentum and eventually stop.

 

I hope this helps, and that you feel better soon.

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This is why we should all practice emotional independence. Maganda lang sa mga pelikula ni Aga Muhlach yun paikutin mo buong mundo mo sa iisang tao. Tuloy kahit hindi na maganda nangyayari at alam mo naman na mali na, hindi ka pa din umaalis. Kasi akala mo hindi ka mabubuhay ng wala itong taong ito. Which is not true! Kasi nabuhay ka naman at nagawang maging masaya nung wala pa sya di ba?

 

Eto lagi iisipin, the other person is not meant to complete you. That is your responsibility. The other person is merely there to compliment you. He or she may give you something na hindi mo nakikita sa iba, but that does not mean you really need him/her to feel complete.

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you love someone, that someone doesn't love you, but he cares... sometimes. hmmm.. he's the only reason why you are still sane or your love for him/ her is the reason why sabihin na nating why you stick on being 'you' ( being matino ) lets just say he/she is your sanity. this may sound so funny but you are thinking kasi '' i need to be and stay like this, kasi baka one day he/she wants me again kaya dapat i dont fool around para when he/she loves me na im 'clean' padin and wala sia masusumbat'' but its also your love for him/her that causes you too much pain... what would you do..?

 

continue loving, waiting and hoping that someday somehow fate will help you,and he/she will love you too....even if it hurts like hell..

 

or just walk away............... hold for nothing ... hope for nothing.. then just wait when you will self destruct..?

 

 

bagay dito yung hugot na.. buti ka pa nauntog na.. ako hindi pa.. hehe

Edited by Schindler
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you love someone, that someone doesn't love you, but he cares... sometimes. hmmm.. he's the only reason why you are still sane or your love for him/ her is the reason why sabihin na nating why you stick on being 'you' ( being matino ) lets just say he/she is your sanity. this may sound so funny but you are thinking kasi '' i need to be and stay like this, kasi baka one day he/she wants me again kaya dapat i dont fool around para when he/she loves me na im 'clean' padin and wala sia masusumbat'' but its also your love for him/her that causes you too much pain... what would you do..?

 

continue loving, waiting and hoping that someday somehow fate will help you,and he/she will love you too....even if it hurts like hell..

 

or just walk away............... hold for nothing ... hope for nothing.. then just wait when you will self destruct..?

 

Walk away but don't self destruct.

Give yourself time to heal, better things ahead :)

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minsan walking away becomes the ONLY solution to things that you cannot learn to handle. Kahit na ipaglaban mo ang di naman dapat eh sa hindi talaga ppwede yung gusto mo may magagawa ka pa ba?

 

Madaling sabihin yung katagang "moving on" pero napaka-imposibleng gawin agad agad. This will take time - a long time actually and sometimes, it is better to NOT fight the process at all. We all have our own versions of acceptance pero and hindi commonly alam ng lahat is that the pain of it WILL stay with you, lying dormant at the back of your mind.

 

Part of "moving-on" is welcoming the pain to come to you. Let it linger and mold you. Pain, surely does make you tougher and wiser overtime but more importantly - pain will become the wall that will stand between you and complete insanity.

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