How Important Is The Sexual History Of Your Partner?

[j]

 

In short: you cannot love what you do not know.

 

Is knowing the sexual history of your partner important? It's part of the knowing. You cannot just know the name, age, birthday, likes and dislikes of your partner-to-be. You have to know him/her to the full, as much as possible. Only then can you make a decision to accept or not to accept. That's the only time you can say, "despite one's past, I chose to love/accept him/her."

 

Di ba?

great point.

 

i guess define love first? but that should be a different thread.

 

siguro nagiging cliched answer yan love above all else.

tapos yun sisi kasi di sustained yun love?

 

maganda yun point na make an informed decision. i do not believe love is blind.

Edited February 1, 2016 by j

[j]

I think a lot of the people here are given on the knowing part. Kaya nga some say okey lng basta wala syang sakit. I think its the importance part nagkakatalo. Gaya nga ng sabi pwedeng isa lang ang naging partner pro sino un ang what bothered you, or dahil madami b kya ka na bother. Kya nga tinanong ni master j, kung mababaw b kung gagamitin mong sukatan ang isang bagay sa pag pili. In this case e ang sexual history. Kaya naitanong nga dn kung deal breaker ba kpg dating escort service?

 

Siguro ang magandang tanong para sa akin, dahil I have established na para sa akin okey lang kahit sino at kahit gaano karami ang naging sexual partner mo. (Basta walang std o nagkaroon man pero nagamot at minor lang) e okey lang sa akin. Basta masya ako sa kanya at nasakanya lahat ng hinahanap ko.

 

Ang tanong siguro ay what is it in your partners sexual history that will be a deal breaker? Kung ano ung malaman mo? Kung dati cyang escort service? Wala break na. Kung hindi sya escort service madami lang naging bf kaya umabot ng 20 ang naging partner? Kung malibog lang talaga at makati kya kung sino sino timitira dati? Isa lang naging sex partner pero tatay mo pla, or kapatid mo or best friend mo. Or ni rape cya ng tatay nya.

 

Sa akin kasi malibog tyo dito and I had sex with girls I barely know, so I dont think for me to demand that my partner did not have sex, or dapat isa lang or 2 lang e unfair naman. Plus if we are together, I dont think I can promise I wont sleep with anyone else. Although I can promise I have protected sex all the time. Pro cyempre, iba dn ang infidelity issue.

thanks for the insight.

 

gasgas na ata yun what if in the industry ang partner mo. kung ok lang sa iyo, then i'm sure you'll make it work. very rare ata yun di mo alam taga industry siya before you met.

 

i think ok naman sa majority yun nagkaroon ng multiple partners basta walang sakit. siguro puwedeng palusot yun nagkaroon at gumaling. at kelangan pag-isipan yun recurring o di na gumagaling or yun paulit ulit na nagkakasakit.

 

nice point with "what is it in..."

i'll ask if specifics ba o patterns in history ang factor?

siguro naman pag 100 daan yun partner pero isa isa niyang pinag check up regularly, medyo ok yun?

what if frigid... dapat consider rin yun other side of the spectrum.

 

will a one time thing be weighty enough? or will you multiple small things be the deal breaker for you?

[t3sla]

So how do you cope up? How do you "fully" accept? Minsan hindi mawala sa isip natin na kung sweet ang girl satin, at one point naging super sweet din sya sa iba. Ang kung medyo sexy time kayo, may gumawa na din nun before you. Might be even more..

 

Example ulit, what if malaman mo na nakikipag threesome pala si wife or girlfriend sa 2 guys dahil depressed sya nung mga time na yun or dahil nag experiment sya sa past or naging kabit ni congressman ganito ganyan at "ginarahe" pa.

 

Thoughts.

[j]

So how do you cope up? How do you "fully" accept? Minsan hindi mawala sa isip natin na kung sweet ang girl satin, at one point naging super sweet din sya sa iba. Ang kung medyo sexy time kayo, may gumawa na din nun before you. Might be even more..

 

Example ulit, what if malaman mo na nakikipag threesome pala si wife or girlfriend sa 2 guys dahil depressed sya nung mga time na yun or dahil nag experiment sya sa past or naging kabit ni congressman ganito ganyan at "ginarahe" pa.

 

Thoughts.

interesting point.

 

when people said that "past is past." shouldn't that mean that every thing should be accepted? or will they retract and say that their trust was broken because it was not disclosed early on and then say that love is now lost and then start being all emo about love?

 

more questions or things to consider -- will it matter when it is discovered? or if it is disclosed?

 

i think the tipping point depends on the individual. how much can you really take?

[Kingkongphils]

If you want to go the way of knowing. I dont think you have to cope. You just have to accept. If you choose to cope, it will never be LOVE, it will all boil down to trust. You see I am a believer of God, and I think, God is so good that he created sex to give good things and to give bad things equally. That is why he made a way that sex is SUPPOSED TO BE an expression of love, and should not be done outside marriage, this is the reason.

Example. Ikaw c congressman na may kabit, but you love your family more than anything, in as much as someone out there is "coping" with loving the girl na ibinahay mo, your wife may not be coping and may decides to leave you. See the congressman is broken, and the kabit is also broken.

Another example, your girlfriend and you have sex because you love her very much. You want to do everything for her. You would sacrifice everything for her. But things did not work out and you broke up. But you know in your mind you love her and you wish her the best and all you can think about is ang swerte ng magigng asawa nya kasi she has a good heart. But her next boyfriend could not accept the fact that the girl slept with a lowly creature like you, and just decides to make the girl parausan. Would not that hurt you? If not then lets make that girl your daughter, dont you think everybody a girl or a boy deserves someone to save them or fix them.

I guess this is the part when you understand why some people would not like to know.

"I saw a knockout, I dont care what any people say" - hal.

Like I said you may be dating the real meagan young right know and she is head ove heels for you and would do anything for you, even the kinky stuff you only dream off, but what if you knowned her sexual past. Or baliktarin ntn, what if she had known your sexual past. It will leave you hurt most def.

Like I said, ikaw dn ang mamimili ng gusto mong makasama. Or maybe I just have "known" a lot of girls that are great people its just that for them sex is just sex, not that they are giving it away to anybody but when they feel loved they give it. I wont call them fubu, kasi I do or did love them honestly.

[Lordace13]

Not a big deal.we all go through some rough roads along the way

[dibdba]

The only things I really want to know about her sexual past are: if she has ever gotten STD and if she's given birth or has had an abortion. Of course, if she's a regular partner you'd also want to know how exclusive you are to each other.

[Hari ng Spakol]

We need to know or to check to ensure she has not infected of any sexual diseases.

[ofw]

For me its not that important anymore

[BennyChang]

The sexual history of your partner depends on what u can take. Kung ok sayo, well thats good. Kung nagfaflashback naman sayo na sinisibak ng iba un gf mo nung hindi mo pa sya gf ,well mahirap nga yun. Walang tama walang mali. Nasa sayo yun.

[j]

The sexual history of your partner depends on what u can take. Kung ok sayo, well thats good. Kung nagfaflashback naman sayo na sinisibak ng iba un gf mo nung hindi mo pa sya gf ,well mahirap nga yun. Walang tama walang mali. Nasa sayo yun.

nice point.

 

yun mga kilala nila sarili nila ng mabuti, alam nila kung ano gusto nila.

yun mga hinahanap pa sarili nila, yun mga hirap mag decisyon.

[jgc813]

The sexual history of your partner depends on what u can take. Kung ok sayo, well thats good. Kung nagfaflashback naman sayo na sinisibak ng iba un gf mo nung hindi mo pa sya gf ,well mahirap nga yun. Walang tama walang mali. Nasa sayo yun.

 

This is a good point. As a matter of fact, in the case of my ex, I had wanted to know...

 

1. How many partners she has had, one at a time ba, or multiple/sabay-sabay;

2. How many failed relationships she had, at ano ang reasons why they didn't work.

 

Re No. 1 -- Aminado sya marami na siyang naging partners. She even tried G2G. Pero, sabi niya, one at a time lang daw, at wala naman siyang pinagsabay. First thing na pumasok sa isip ko: Clean ba kaya siya? That's why, I always practiced safe sex with her even when she had a physical and was declared clean. Of course, pregnancy was another matter. Dahilan sa daring din siya, ayun. Dalawa na ang anak niya galing sa dalawang lalake. (Note: regarding the number, she wasn't really truthful. I also learned later na kahit yung sinabi niyang hindi siya nagsasabay ng partners, at one-at-a-time lang sya, ay hindi rin totoo. Kaya... would that be also possible with me? I had hoped she will be faithful. In the end, her history proved that hindi nga siya makapagpipigil when it comes to sex.)

 

Re No. 2 -- Marami na siyang failed relationships. By her own declaration, naka pito raw siyang serious relationships. Noong tinanong ko kung bakit hindi nag-work-out mga past relationships niya, ang sagot niya ay: "siya rin naman ang may kasalanan." (Kasi naman, madali siyang ma-in-love. Kaya, madali rin siya makakita ng kapalit.) Mukhang honest, di ba? Pero, kung honest siya, dapat, naghanap din siya ng paraan para magbago. Kailangang mag-effort siya in that regard. BUT, in the end, nangyari rin ang nangyari. After less than three months abroad, nakahanap na rin siya ng iba, at ipinagpalit din niya ako. I have become a statistic for her.

 

Having several sexual partners, whether one-at-a-time, or sabay-sabay, may be an indication of something. It could be a problem area which could either be physiological or psychological. Unless one is conscious that s/he has a problem in this matter, it will never be remedied. If your partner has "this problem," then, you should be prepared na mauulit din sa yo ang nangyari sa iba bago sa yo. Hindi rin tatagal at mapapalitan ka rin ng iba, o maipagsasabay ka rin sa iba.

 

So... is knowing the past history of sexual relationships important? For me, yes. It is important.

Edited February 5, 2016 by jgc813

[Kingkongphils]

In my case my significant others

1. My first experience was with my gf, she was a good person. Always goes to church, novena and serves the church. So I thought that she was a virgin, we were 2nd year college and I thought that she will be my first and I will be her first. To my disappoinment when I learned that she was not a virgin. Maybe I was so transparent that she felt my disappointment. What stuck with me was when she said if I had known that it was going to be a problem then I would have not choosen to love you. Now she is happily married living in the US.

2. She was a commercial model, I was the one who de virginized her, and I thought with all the gwapo guys around her always hitting on her she will be the not virgin. I tell you, everyday we have sex, we have sex in dorm, her dorm, her house, my house, my parents bed, her parents bed, my car, her car. And we were together 3 years. She had I think 3 more relationships before she found her the one. Her the one is the youngest executive vice president of one of the biggest company here in the Phils. Now what I have realized, I could say to everyone that we did every position and we did it everyday and I would not be richer than his husband, my car will not be nicer, and I probably would not be happier than they are now.

3. I had this gf we were perfet as friends but as bf gf, we were not. So we did it. But since it did not fly, we reamined friends. Parehas kmi matagl na nabakante kya we sort of been friends with benefits, but I consider it as a relationship. Then she had a bf, and since we are friends I hang with them. What stuck with me was when I asked her if the bf knew that we did it and we did it outside a relationship, she said no. She said I like him and I probably love him, but you are my friend and if we are not havinh sex you are still important to me. Now they are happily married. Migrated to australia.

 

I have had more girls that I have "known". I had a total of 10gfs and counting since am not yet married, and I do go to spas and mps. Sometimes because of peer pressure or to accompany our client and or my boss.

 

What I have learned with all those, is that honesty is a very rare commodity. Its not that people lie just for the fun of it, but sometimes people lie just to protect the one they love or the person they hold dear. Truth be told if I am asked I will not say that I could not count my sexual partners sa dami (not really madami but if you count the mps and theras it is a bit more than normal I suppose), I will always say my 10gfs and about 3 theras.

[BennyChang]

 

This is a good point. As a matter of fact, in the case of my ex, I had wanted to know...

 

1. How many partners she has had, one at a time ba, or multiple/sabay-sabay;

2. How many failed relationships she had, at ano ang reasons why they didn't work.

 

Re No. 1 -- Aminado sya marami na siyang naging partners. She even tried G2G. Pero, sabi niya, one at a time lang daw, at wala naman siyang pinagsabay. First thing na pumasok sa isip ko: Clean ba kaya siya? That's why, I always practiced safe sex with her even when she had a physical and was declared clean. Of course, pregnancy was another matter. Dahilan sa daring din siya, ayun. Dalawa na ang anak niya galing sa dalawang lalake. (Note: regarding the number, she wasn't really truthful. I also learned later na kahit yung sinabi niyang hindi siya nagsasabay ng partners, at one-at-a-time lang sya, ay hindi rin totoo. Kaya... would that be also possible with me? I had hoped she will be faithful. In the end, her history proved that hindi nga siya makapagpipigil when it comes to sex.)

 

Re No. 2 -- Marami na siyang failed relationships. By her own declaration, naka pito raw siyang serious relationships. Noong tinanong ko kung bakit hindi nag-work-out mga past relationships niya, ang sagot niya ay: "siya rin naman ang may kasalanan." (Kasi naman, madali siyang ma-in-love. Kaya, madali rin siya makakita ng kapalit.) Mukhang honest, di ba? Pero, kung honest siya, dapat, naghanap din siya ng paraan para magbago. Kailangang mag-effort siya in that regard. BUT, in the end, nangyari rin ang nangyari. After less than three months abroad, nakahanap na rin siya ng iba, at ipinagpalit din niya ako. I have become a statistic for her.

 

Having several sexual partners, whether one-at-a-time, or sabay-sabay, may be an indication of something. It could be a problem area which could either be physiological or psychological. Unless one is conscious that s/he has a problem in this matter, it will never be remedied. If your partner has "this problem," then, you should be prepared na mauulit din sa yo ang nangyari sa iba bago sa yo. Hindi rin tatagal at mapapalitan ka rin ng iba, o maipagsasabay ka rin sa iba.

 

So... is knowing the past history of sexual relationships important? For me, yes. It is important.

Great point. Nice input. Sometimes, just sometimes, their sexual history tells a lot on who and what kind they are as person

[dibdba]

There is no wrong or right answer to this question.

 

I think we all agree that sexual history of your partner is important, but the difference is the level of importance that we place on it and whether it’s based on empirical data or mere speculation.

 

Some guys would say it’s not important as long as evidence has precluded STDs. Others may even say STDs are ok as long as they belong to the past, and won’t reappear in the present.

 

Still, and I strongly agree with this point raised by some GMs here--that sexual history gives us a clue on what type of person our partner is.

There is also a question of when sexual history becomes relevant. In my case, it only becomes relevant after the first or maybe second time. These initial sessions will always be treated with caution, with CDs and all that, short of boiling each other to ensure cleanliness. Beyond that, and assuming you want more than the casual sex, that is when you start to want to know the other person better. Then you might ask. But then again, maybe not. It really depends on you.