daphne loves derby Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 (edited) The Professional Heckler #NAIABlackoutPresident Aquino: O Jun, ano na namang kapalpakan ‘to?Secretary Abaya: Mr. President, nag-black out eh. 'Tapos drained pala ang batteryng standby generator sa NAIA kaya five hours walang kuryente.President Aquino: FIVE HOURS?!?Abaya: To be fair Mr. President, hindi naman fatal.President Aquino: At buhay naman lahat sila ‘di ba? Good.#NAIABlackout IIAbaya: Mr. President, tama ang iyong narinig: limang oras ang blackout sa NAIA.President Aquino: Ano ba naman ‘yan, Jun?! Lagi na lang bang may ganyang kapalpakan?Abaya: Mr. President, I have failed you and our people again. I am now ready to resign.President Aquino: Kahanga-hanga ka talaga Jun!Abaya: But since two months na lang tayo sa puwesto, pag-aralan mo munang mabuti kung tatanggapin mo ang resignation ko o hihintayin na lang nating matapos ang iyong termino.President Aquino:Abaya: Suggestion lang!#NAIABlackout IIIPresident Aquino: LIMANG ORAS na blackout?! Wala bang warning o notice man lang? Wala bang generator? Wala bang nagawa para maiwasan ang kapalpakang ito?!? Lagi na lang ganyan! Paulit-ulit na lang!Abaya: BAKIT?!? AKO BA ANG NAG-CAUSE NG BLACKOUT?! GUSTO KO BA ANG NANGYARI?!? FAULT KO BA KUNG DRAINED ANG BATTERIES NG PUNYETANG MGA GENERATOR NA ‘YON?!? AKO BA ANG MANILA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT AUTHORITY GENERAL MANAGER?! SAWANG-SAWA NA AKO SA MGA BATIKOS!President Aquino:Abaya: Sorry sir. Sobrang init kasi sa labas. Nahawa ako. ‘Sensya naman.#KomiksRoxas: May komiks ako.Marcos: May komiks din ako.Roxas: Hero ako noong Yolanda sa komiks ko.Marcos: Superhero ako ng Pilipinas sa komiks ko.Roxas: Hindi nagnakaw sa gobyerno ang aking pamilya.Marcos: Ba’t naman napunta dun ang usapan? Balik tayo sa komiks.#SCDecisionLeakPoe: Nag-leak na ang Supreme Court decision. Tuloy ang candidacy ko!Mar: Paano nangyari ‘yon?Poe: Mabait si Lord.Binay: Paano kung na-reverse?Poe: Nag-decide na nga eh. Irrelevant question.Miriam: Paano kung mali ang leak?Poe: Reliable ang source namin.Duterte: Paano kung isang hatinggabing tulog ka eh magkaputukan sa Spratlys?Poe: Ulol!#EndorsementPoe: Ako ang inendorso ni Erap.Roxas: Ako ang inendorso ng mga Pineda.Binay: Ako ang inendorso ng mga Ampatuan.Duterte: Pasensya na. Pero ‘pag ako ang nanalong presidente, patay sa akin ‘yang mga endorsers n’yo!#PanamaLeaksJinggoy: Basta ako, wala ang pangalan sa #PanamaLeaks na ‘yan. Ewan ko lang sa iba d’yan.JV Ejercito: Basta ako, walang PLUNDER case. At hindi ako NAKAKULONG! Ewan ko lang sa iba d’yan.Jinggoy:JV: O, bakit? Sino ba’ng nauna?#PanamaLeaks IIBorgy: Ma, the prime minister of Iceland resigned na after ma-expose na meron siyang offshore accounts.Imee: Borgy, Iceland ‘yan. We’re in the Philippines.Borgy: But Ma, the perception is we’re a family of thieves and we have offshore accounts.Imee: That’s not true! We don’t have offshore accounts!#PacquiaoAttack(Backgrounder: Manny Pacquiao was verbally attacked by a stranger outside a Japanese restaurant in Las Vegas earlier this week.)Attacker: f#&k you Pacquiao! f#&k you!Pacquiao: God bless you.Attacker: You homophobe!Pacquiao:Attacker: YOU HOMOPHOBE!Pacquiao: Ano ‘yon?#BangladeshTheftJinggoy: Pare, ibinalik pala ni Kim Wong ‘yong ninakaw ng hackers sa gobyerno ng Bangladesh.Bong: Nabasa ko nga. At pinuri pa siya online. Pogi points. Gawin din kaya natin ‘yon.Jinggoy: Gago! Wala tayong ninakaw, remember?Bong:Jinggoy: Umayos ka.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men in a society, over the course of time they create for themselves a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that glorifies it.”~Frédéric BastiatSound Bites"Si Mar, bayot. Hindi niya kaya. Kaya ko kasi lalaki ako. Hindi ka lalaki Mar, paano 'yan. Takot kang pumatay, takot kang mamatay. Subukan mo ako. Maghawak ka ng shabu sa harap ko, pasabugin ko sa ulo ko. You try holding shabu in my presence. 'Pag 'di kita binaril sa ulo, 'tang-ina mo."~Mayor Duterte“I am but a pawn in a highest-stakes chess games played by giants in international banking and high finance.”~Maia Santos-Deguito, sacked RCBC branch managerElsewhereThe Panama Papers leak, explained with an adorable comic about piggy banksPara madaling maintindihan, read this illustrated article.Say no to thieves. Edited April 7, 2016 by daphne loves derby Quote Link to comment
kanto-terrorist Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 EndorsementJollibee Foods Corp. has denied reports that its chairman, Tony Tan Caktiong isendorsing Mayor Rodrigo Duterte. In related news, McDonald’s has denied rumors that one of its mascots, Hamburglar is endorsing Vice President Binay Quote Link to comment
rooster69ph Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 http://i61.tinypic.com/25g5jjl.jpg Quote Link to comment
rooster69ph Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4wCNPThcY7M/VDqnbkebnsI/AAAAAAAAYSc/sX1ca6B1vBg/s1600/aliens-bongbong-marcos-papansin-no-exposure.jpg Quote Link to comment
Ryuji_tanaka Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 If presidentiables were movie titles: Duterte: The PunisherMDS: Killing Me SoftlyPoe: Ang Alamat ng Ampon ng PandayBinay: Darth Nognog, Rise of a Dark LordMar: Mr. Bean goes to Malacañang Quote Link to comment
Ryuji_tanaka Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 http://i61.tinypic.com/25g5jjl.jpgBut you are forgetting something, it got worse under the other plundering family, the Cojuanco-Aquino:http://getrealphilippines.com/blog/2016/02/the-philippines-is-worse-off-30-years-after-the-1986-edsa-people-power-revolution/ and that is not even including the retard in the palace. Quote Link to comment
jopoc Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 The great Francis M is correct in this. Quote Link to comment
rooster69ph Posted April 12, 2016 Share Posted April 12, 2016 http://i57.tinypic.com/e9ujoo.jpg 1 Quote Link to comment
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