Political Jokes

[rockybrawler]

her honesty is second only by the house of representatives

Another joke: GMA will step down in 2010.

[camiar]

:thumbsupsmiley: From G.L.'s post @ ABS-CBN Thread "Is ABS-CBN anti-government?":

 

 

"...you know what, this is all a very simple misunderstanding....

 

Sa ABS CBN kasi, i-isa lang ang MOTTO nila... lahat ng employees, talents, media people, etc nila they indoctrinate one very simple MOTTO...

 

No, its not "In the service of the Filipino" Thats the "public" ek-ek nila.. inside their buildings they Drill people with the simple slogan... " DOWN WITH GMA!!!!"

 

So ayun, thats what their people have been doing ever since...

 

the problem is, they meant GMA-7, and not Gloria M Arroyo...

 

so misunderstanding lang...

 

eh he he " :thumbsupsmiley: :thumbsupsmiley:

Edited April 2, 2009 by camiar

[toink1621]

GMA is the most honest president.

 

this is really a joke!! hahaha!!

[rockybrawler]

this is really a joke!! hahaha!!

Isa pa:

 

Erap refuses to run for the presidency.

[uaeboy25]

hindi daw totoong naka blocklist ang pinas sa G20 summit. katunayan umatend daw si GMA sa G20 summit. kaso nagkataon matatangkad ang nasa harapan. kaya hindi sya nakita sa annual pictures.

[camiar]

'Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.'

Mack McGinnis

[rockybrawler]

Got this joke from email. :boo: :cool:

 

 

Re: Fwd: FW: Why the Philippines is in a mess?

 

 

This is why the Philippines is such a mess: A Travel Agent says 30 of her years of taking reservation requests from government officials explains why we are all in in trouble. Here's a few choice reservation questions from these bright people:

 

1) Senator Tessie Oreta asked for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

 

2) I got a call from ex-Mayor Joey Marquez, who wanted to go to Capetown. Explaining the length of the flight and passport information, he interrupted me with, 'I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts . Without trying to make him look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, ' Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ..' His response ....(click).

 

3) Congressman Mark Lapid called, furious about a Florida package we did for him and tv star Kris Aquino. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, 'Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!' (so he expected to see the ocean on both sides of the hotel?!)

 

4) Sen Ralph Recto's wife (actress Vilma Santos) asked, 'Is it possible to see England from Canada ?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'But they look so close on the map..'

 

5) Senator Lito Lapid asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I noticed he had only an hour lay-over in Dallas . When asked why he wanted to rent a car, he said, 'I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save

time.'

 

6) Senator Jinggoy Estrada (son of Erap) called last week. He needed to know how it was possible that his flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m.. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but he could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told him the plane went very fast, and he bought that!

 

7) Congressman Ronaldo Zamora asked, 'Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?' I said, 'No, why do you ask?' He replied, 'Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude!' I looked into it and explained the city code for Fresno , California is (FAT), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

 

8) Former presidential candidate, now tv star Eddie Gil inquired about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, he asked, 'Would it be cheaper to fly to California and take the train to Hawaii ?'

 

9) I just got off the phone with Senator Bong Revilla who asked, 'How do I know which plane to get on?' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, 'I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them..'

 

10) VP Noli De Castro asked, 'I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , FL. Do I have to get on one of those twin engine planes?' I asked if he meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. He said, 'Yeah, whatever!'

 

11) Congressman Dilangalen called and had a question about the documents needed to fly to China . I reminded him he needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.' I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this, he said, 'Look, I've been to China four times and every time they accepted my American Express!'

 

12) Senator Miriam Defensor called to make reservations, 'I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .' The agent said, 'Are you sure that's the name of the town?' 'Yes, what flights do you have?' replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, 'I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere.' The lady retorted, 'Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!' The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You don't mean Buffalo , do you?' 'That's it! I knew it was a big animal,' she said.

 

Now you know why the Philippine Government is in the shape that it's in.

[camiar]

'Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges, even where there are no rivers'.

Nikita Kruschchev

[camiar]

'The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.'

Will Rogers

[camiar]

Before Erap filed his candidacy for mayor, he has to get NBI clearance as part of his supporting documents.

Unfortunately, there was a hitch.

 

NBI: "Sir, kelangan nyong bumalik after 3 days. We need to verify your records. Kasi, me kapangalan ka sa records namin na me kasong estafa..."

 

ERAP: "Ganun? Eh ano naman pangalan nya?"

[uaeboy25]

movies this year are reported to have a political agenda

 

jinggoys movie : "Katas ng Saudi 2"

GMA : "Katas ng kurakot"

Manny Villar : "Katas ng Sipag at Taga"

Erap : " Katas ng Kepya$"

 

Coming Soon!!!

[camiar]

'You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.'

Joseph Levine

[LYCHEE]

hindi raw totoo balitang magpapalit na ng apelyido si pres. gloria from macapagal to tatagal. :upside:

[lomex32]

WHERE IS MY EGG ?

 

DOH was stormed by complaints regarding their Instant Noodles Program ...

 

It turned out that the cost of each pack of Noodles is 22 pesos ...... We all know that decent commercial local noodles in the market costs only 6 pesos per pack ...

 

 

DOH answer - "Our noodles has fresh egg"

 

Now the people are looking for/asking for ... where is the fresh egg?

 

 

BFAD test shows it only has wheath flour ... no egg

[lomex32]

Remember the misprinted 100 peso bills ?

 

The ARROYO was misprinted as ARROVO

 

ROVO - in spanish daw is "robber"

 

hindi raw totoo balitang magpapalit na ng apelyido si pres. gloria from macapagal to tatagal. :upside: