Writings of the Heart

[Itto Ogami]

the heart is an uncontrollable beast.

you know not who it is going to choose...

[Guest biancaanne]

You broke my heart just before I was able to pick up all of the broken pieces. Now I'm worse than before. I thought you would be my savior, despite my stubborn demeanor. It's my fault...again.

[Guest biancaanne]

19 hours and I'm still wide awake. I never appreciated folding clothes and found it therapeutic 'til now. What's even more therapeutic is me being able to write down my thoughts and feelings without caring about what other people think. So here goes...

 

My Niisama,

I will miss you. You've been around for almost a year, though, and it's only now that I paid attention. I haven't fully recovered from my previous heartbreak yet.Had it been meant to be, we would not have trusted each other anyway. We both know who were were, a year ago. It will be lonelier and more painful without you, even just as a friend. But I guess somebody up there has already decided what to do to US. I somehow sense that you will come across this expression of fondness, so even if I know that a lot of people will chide me or even laugh at me for being so emotional, I don't give a s@%t. I want you to know that you will always be in my thoughts, that I will always wish you well.

 

I hate saying this because it usually signals the end, but..."Ingat ka lagi." A special space in my heart and in my treasure trove of memories will be reserved just for you. Thank you for keeping me company during my worst moments. Thank you for worrying about me when I'm out with friends, and checking on me just to make sure I'm home, safe and sound. Salamat sa mga sermon mo, kahit matigas ulo ko madalas.

 

I'm sorry if I had caused you any inconvenience. I've grown too fond of you that I've always been afraid of making the same mistake twice, even three times. And yet, I know that in whatever form it takes, I can honestly say that I do love you in a way different from what this was on its way to. Watch over me, silently, my dear, dear friend. I will remain forever...

 

Your Imouto

[Itto Ogami]

[Guest Riveria]

No one in this world knows the feeling that I get when I see you. They have no idea about what you get my body to do when I hear your name or hear that sweet soft voice of yours. Nobody has ever made me feel like the way you make me feel and that is such a crazy feeling. It feels like I just want to grab you and be in your arms forever and forever and never let go. I want to kiss your lips and never end - just keep going.

 

Every time I think about you, it gives me more and more strength with which to carry on my life. It makes me happy to be alive knowing that you have came into my life and all I know is that I want to be with you!

[Itto Ogami]

[barnacleboy]

I let you go and now i regret it. I have never felt regret for any of the mistakes I've done because I know that I've learned and become a better person because of those mistakes. But this one is different. We had such a wonderful time together. We were college sweethearts, everything seemed to be perfect. Do you know why I let you go? I thought I was still too young to get into something very serious. I wanted to have fun and make the most of my life. I took everything we had for granted. Looking back at all the relationships I had, they all pale in comparison to what we had. you were perfect for me, S, but I was young and stupid. I remember the night before you and your family were about to migrate to the US, a year or so after graduation. You cried so hard. I didn't shed even one single tear. I did not fight for our relationship. I did not make any serious attempt to follow you there. I did not realize how special our relationship was. I was too busy being selfish.

 

I'm not saying I still love you or that I want to be with you again. It's been more than a decade. You're now married, happily I hope. I am also married, but we're no longer together. I've lost my chance with you and there's no going back. I know I was wrong. You had every right to hate me, S. I broke your heart even though you did absolutely nothing wrong. I am sorry.

 

Now there's nothing for me to do but to go on and love the way I know how to love. I know I may not be able to find the kind of love that we had, but I have to find it.

[LadyLazarus]

Don't make me wait. It's just coffee, dinner or a few drinks after all...in its truest sense (and not what some people think it might mean)...I just really miss talking to you. It's like I'm dating a better version of myself.

Edited February 24, 2010 by LadyLazarus

[Itto Ogami]

[monazario]

To hold back my fear

and feel you so near

I've never been this far before

To hold back my fear

and feel you so near

I'm scared of falling into deep this time

[Guest biancaanne]

It's closer than ever, being finally alone, with just myself. It excites me sometimes, but more often than not, I dread the nights when I would cry myself to sleep, embracing my pillow ever so tightly. I know that I'll be like an addict experiencing withdrawal symptoms. But just like an addict on rehab, I'll be on my way to being emotionally sober. Baby, you may never come back to me ever again, but I want you to know that it's because of you that I finally realized how much I need this, torturing as it will be. As you move on with your life, this is my way of moving on, as well. The way you loved me, the memories, the smile on your face...they will be my happy place whenever I feel like I'm going into relapse. I will love myself more, thanks to you.

[saltnpepper]

Technically he's not my first kiss - if I physically count the number of guys I kissed before. But to me he's my first real kiss. For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. ‘Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

 

I met him at the ACA MTC event. 15 minutes was all it took for me to fall in love. They say that love at first sight is not true. I definitely agree because I didn't fall in love the first time I saw him. I fell in love after 15 minutes of talking with him. I've never been talkative, but with him it comes so easy. I immediately felt at ease. When he asked me if he could kiss me, I let him. Kind of stupid doing it with someone I met barely 15 minutes ago, right? But there is something about him I couldn't quite put a finger on. Nevertheless, my instinct was right. It was the best first kiss I ever had. I never been able to understand others when they say that time stops during these kinds of moment in your life. But at that instant, that very brief moment, I felt no one existed but him and me. Nothing could ever compare to that single moment when I first kissed the man of my dreams and somehow I already knew that my love would last forever.

 

As days and weeks flew by, we constantly see each other. I never tire of his face. I love watching him smile and laugh. I love watching him watching me. I love the little circles he does at the back of my hand whenever he holds it. I love it when he tells me the corniest of jokes. I love it when he sings me his love songs. I love it when we kiss for hours. I love the way we make love and how he holds me so tight each and every after deed. Most of all, I love it when he says 'I love you' and see the sincerity in his eyes. He is all I ever wanted, all I ever needed. Forever is a strong word, a strong commitment to make, but to him I have no qualms in making that promise.

 

I never wanted to fall in love this fast. But it happened... so fast I barely have time to breathe... but it's love. I can't deny myself or deny him of the wonderful feeling when it knocks and touches your heart. Surely, it's risky, but taking risks is what makes us feel alive. As they say, it's better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all. If forever is not what the future brings for us both (which i seriously doubt), then I'm happy that once in my life I loved this great man and was privileged to have been loved back.

 

I leave you with this quote from Henry Van Dyke:

 

Time is too slow for those who wait,

too swift for those who fear,

too long for those who grieve,

too short for those who rejoice,

but for those who love,

time is eternity.

[Itto Ogami]

[Itto Ogami]

http://www.joyisnow.com/truelove/index.htm

The Ten Principles of True Love

by Sam Palahnuk

 

1. When I say I love you, I mean that I feel a deep, tender,

ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward you. I am filled

with a feeling of intense desire and attraction towards you. I feel a

sense of underlying oneness with you that fills my heart with joy.

 

2. I give my love to you freely, as an expression of my own passion,

and I do so without any expectation of your feelings toward me.

 

3. When I say "I love you" it doesn't mean that I feel ownership

over you, or that I have expectations for your behavior, or rigid

ideas of our future together.

 

4. I love you for what you are now, not for what I hope you will

someday become. I have no plans to change you. I do, however, support

your own desire to grow.

 

5. I respect your right to you having your own feelings, and to your

need to learn your own lessons in life. If I can help, I will wait to

be asked, and otherwise will allow you to go through the experiences

that you need and choose.

6. I will do my best to be in touch with my own feelings and

desires, and communicate them to you without any expectation that you

will act on them.

 

7. I am happy with or without you. My bliss is my responsibility alone.

 

8. I leave you free to be yourself: to think your thoughts, indulge

your tastes, follow your inclinations, behave in ways that you decide

are to your liking. I have no right to judge or change your behavior.

9. I desire that you be happy. If your time spent with me is not

joyful, then you are welcome to go on your way with my love and

support still with you.

 

10. I recognize that we are two separate whole people, who have chosen

to walk side-by-side through life for a time. I rejoice in the ecstasy

of the present - moments we share together.

[hawtinhere]

hindi ko sinadyang mahalin ka pero nangyari...tinanong kita noon kung merong iba ang sabi mo wala....hinayaan mo akong mahalin ka ng sobra...nang malaman kong may girlfriend ka, para akong namatay....humingi ka ng sorry...pinatawad kita....akala ko dalawa lang kme sa buhay mo, yun pala tatlo...hindi ko kinaya, umalis ako....pero pilit mong bumalik sa buhay ko....iniwan mo yung pangatlo, dalawa na lang kme ulit....nangarap ako na sana dumating yung panahon na ako ang maiiwan sa piling mo.....pero hindi...nalaman ko na lang pinakasalan mo na sya...pero ayaw mo pa ring mawala ako sa buhay mo.....ano ang magiging papel ko, kabit? parausan?....ako ang kasama mo pag masama ang loob mo sa kanya...o kaya kapag wala syang panahon sayo....for four years, sa iyo umikot ang mundo ko...hindi ko na nga kilala ang sarili ko...i f#&ked up sa work dahil ang nasa isip ko yung picture ng kasal nyo...wala na nga akong pag-ibig, mawawalan pa ako ng trabaho....

minahal kita ng buong buo....kahit alam kong hindi lang ako sa puso mo....sya ang nanakit....pero sya ang masaya ngayon.....

gusto kong mawala sa mundong pareho nating ginagalawan...sa lahat ng sulok ng opisinang to, ikaw ang nakikita ko....

iiyak ako ng iiyak pero hindi mo na malalalaman to....mahal pa rin kita pero hindi na ako babalik sayo....i have to choose between whats right and whats wrong kahit na ang kapalit nito pagluha ko....

hindi ko alam kung kelan ako ngingiti ulit....kung kelan ako tatawa...kung kelan hihinto ang luhang ito sa pagpatak sa tuwing maiisip kita.....

isa lang ang sigurado ako, hindi mo na mararanasan ang pagmamahal na binigay ko....