Writings of the Heart

[StoicVampire]

Vices

 

Silverstein

 

You can't see me behind the door

I just heard everything you said

You call him

You're saying all the things you used to say to me

Who is he

I never thought you'd drop that avalanche on me

And be unfaithful

These hotel walls are paper thin

I'm going out

 

Seven seven with the lime will keep me safe

Long enough to stop the thought of your embrace inside my head

The lies that I've been fed

Throw it back behind my lips the pain is gone

Line em up and knock em down the night goes on

And on and on to let me cope with this disaster

 

I'm seven deep

Her brown hair and blue eyes

Looking right at me

Who is she

I never thought I'd ever think of stepping out

I'll fight this temptation

This crowded bar is full of sin

I'm going out

 

Seven seven with the lime will keep me safe

Long enough to stop the thought of your embrace inside my head

The lies that I've been fed

Throw it back behind my lips the pain is gone

Line em up and knock em down the night goes on

And on and on to let me cope with this disaster

 

I'm not coming home tonight

I'd rather sleep on the street

I'm not coming home to you

I won't sleep with the devil

 

On this city street I'll rest my head tonight

I'm going out!

 

Seven seven with the lime will keep me safe

Long enough to stop the thought of your embrace inside my head

The lies that I've been fed

Throw it back behind my lips the pain is gone

Line em up and knock em down the night goes on

And on and on (and on and on) to let me cope with this disaster

[sha79]

I

 

 

 

II

 

 

 

III

 

 

 

 

(joseph,

 

these could have been

three stanzas

of love declaration

and less complicated

sweet nothings,

 

but i could only

give spaces.

 

-Zooey)

[sweeethoney]

..SORRY seems to be the hardest word..

[Danielle]

Just a thought...

 

New sex. Illicit sex. Dangerous sex. Can you resist? Should you?

By Laurence Roy Stains

 

Sooner or later, every married man meets Kristi. You know Kristi. She's right

over there in the next cubicle. She's your neighbor. Or your best friend's sister.

 

God, she's just . . . great, you say to yourself. So friendly, so cute, so upbeat. You're thinking about her. Okay, you've started to fantasize. Just a little. And you suspect she's fantasizing about you, because when you saw her yesterday, there was that . . . moment. Not to sound corny, but it was a moment of reckoning. She looked into your eyes and didn't look away. Finally, it's started to dawn on you: You've got something she wants.

 

And you're tempted to give it to her.

 

All right, deep breath: You didn't embark on the journey of marriage with the idea that you'd get to take a few detours, and you certainly didn't think you'd turn into one of "those guys." But then, most men don't. They have stumbled accidentally onto their own little Temptation Island. There they are,standing helplessly in its spell and face-to-face with what the nuns in parochial school used to call "an occasion of sin." But what do nuns know about love? This can't be sin; it doesn't feel the least bit sinful. She's a sweet, smiling, loving person; in a way, your friendly banter reminds you of the kind of talks you used to have with your wife-before all that baggage got in the way. And you think to yourself, Why does everybody else get to have all the fun? Why can't I join the club?

 

You can. Your da man! And I'm going to lay it all out for you, step by step. Your fling with Kristi will pass through four stages. Stage One is…

 

ATTRACTION

 

I'm guessing you work with Kristi. Most affairs begin at the office. Work is where you are a master, where you shine, where you are plugged into all your power sources. You do what you do with skill, confidence, and humor. Women want that in a guy. Toss into that mix a wardrobe of suits, ties, short skirts, and high heels, and it's no wonder so many romances blossom in the workplace. And lately Kristi seems to be in no hurry to go home at night.

 

Time to bump it up a notch.

 

It all starts so innocently. You trade notes and silly e-mails. You both show up at the same after-work gatherings. You grab a bite for lunch. But when you start meeting for drinks, you're both hunting for something. She orders a Sex on the Beach and makes a little joke. My friend, your plane is number one for takeoff. A hungry itch comes over you, and you will not be denied. It's time for Stage Two…

 

ECSTASY

 

You haven't felt like this since high school. Actually, you never felt like this in high school, because the girls were more interested in the jocks and the heads. But it does feel like you're in love for the very first time. You're on cloud nine. The drink-after-work thing has turned into bottles of Dom Perignon. Kisses have become Kama Sutra positions. At the No-Tell Motel, the two of you engage in idle postcoital pillow talk about going somewhere beautiful together, like Paris. You can't even pronounce "croissant," but you're dreaming of Paris.

 

The rest of your life is on autopilot. Your boss is dropping dark hints about how "distracted" you seem lately. Big deal. You're in love. Nothing and no one can stand between you!

 

Well, except for your wife and kids. But let's not get ahead of our story.

 

Is the sex better? Of course it's better. It's new. Nothing beats new sex—the exploration of her every inch, the discovery and mapping and conquest of her sweet spots. Nothing is better than the praise she lavishes. Nothing makes you hotter than seeing her so aroused.

 

And this is not just new sex, my friend; this is illicit sex—which is way steamier. The added elements of secrecy and danger are time-honored ways to heighten arousal. (Every member of the Mile-High Club can tell you that.)

 

The secrecy is so much fun that most couples having affairs ignore the obvious: Everyone knows. EVERYONE. It's such fine sport to watch lovers deluding themselves with the belief that they're being perfectly discreet. Meanwhile, they glow like those radioactive monsters in Japanese sci-fi flicks of the '50s. Frankly, you're starting to draw a crowd.

 

Inevitably, that leads to Stage Three…

 

COMPLICATION

One Monday morning, you get the e-mail you've been dreading.

 

"We MUST talk. Lunch?"

 

Kristi pours out a long, sad story of a hellish weekend. She says Steve suspects. He was in a rage. It's only because of heavy makeup that you can't

see how hard he had slapped her. You're thinking, That's not something makeup can cover. She's saying she needs to get out of her marriage. You'll help her, won't you, honey? She looked at an apartment early this morning before work, and it's great -- right near here! -- but they want 2 months' rent up front. If you could put down the two grand…

 

You got your American Express bill on Saturday. It's for $3,614.28. You don't have $3,614.28. You don't have two grand. And you thought love was free.

 

You fall silent. Now she's looking at you. She wasn't ready for this silence. You weren't ready for this moment.

 

That' s one sob story; there are a million others. They all have the same plot development: You're about to be discovered. And the offended parties in these instances rarely take the news lying down. Usually they suffer as loudly as they can.

 

You're pressured to break up with her. She's wondering whether to break up with you—or him. Are you ready for that? No, you're not ready for that. You realize, a little late, that you're not ready for any of that. Soon after complication comes Stage Four…

 

REMORSE AND MAYHEM

This stage is summarized in a single question: How the hell did I get myself

into this?

 

Sometimes the only thing worse than getting caught is not getting caught.

The good news is, you get away with it. And the bad news is, you get away with it. Kristi is really starting to annoy you, but you're too weak to give up the extra sex. You turn passive, and in response she becomes persistent. You're wondering how to get rid of her. She's wondering when you're going to leave your wife for her, the way you sort of hinted you would...didn't you?

 

She knows where you work, where you live. She knows where your wife works. Your dilemma is clear: To extricate yourself from this relationship, you're going to have to break the heart of the one person who can destroy you with a phone call.

 

That's if it ever gets to that stage. More likely, you'll be caught. In which case, one of two things will happen. You'll get divorced or stay married. If you get divorced, prepare to be broke and lonely. If you stay married, let me ask you something: Do you think your marriage will ever be the same? And if she does stick it out with you, despite the advice of all her friends and family, is it for a good reason, like she really, really loves you? Or is it for a convenient reason, like you make a nice salary?

 

In any case, patching up the marriage will require major-league groveling on your part. In return, you can expect zero trust, zero slack, and quite possibly a "retaliatory affair" on her part. As for your reputation and good standing with friends, family, and community, well, there will be blood on the floor.

 

Lucky you if the bleeding is metaphorical. Sometimes, someone goes into a cold, jealous rage. Someone's pride can't handle the idea that his wife cheated on him. Someone can't face the practical consequences of a wrecked marriage -- selling the house, making child-support payments, facing the nosiness or sympathy of virtual strangers.

 

Oops. I'm so sorry.

 

You, too. You were expecting a happy ending. A HAPPY ending! You are so

funny. This story has been told a million times, in a million ways, for a million years. Never is there a happy ending. But you knew that. Didn't you?

[Itto Ogami]

note to self:

 

never mistake gratitude for affection.

[sophiecute]

minsng nag mhal

laging nsasaktn

nangako ng tapat

lhat nwask

mundong mkulay

biaglng bumigay

arwa n lumiwanag

na waln ng kulay

pag ibig n wagas

buhay ay n wala,,,,,,,,,,

[mel_ian19_2001]

mister, can you please tell me where i am? bacause.... im totally lost right now..

to tell you the truth i intended to be lost.. i just couldnt stand it anymore

 

mister, come and sit here with me for a while.. can you please point out the wrong things ive done? i ran away from home to stay away from that one person i fell inlove with... most of the time, i still call her "mine" even though i know that it's far from all possibilities..

but she loves someone else...

mister, can you help me forget about her'cause the more i think about her, i start to get this heavy feeling inside me..

my throat runs dry and my heart gets weaker..

 

mister...have you ever askes yourself.. "why doies it have to be this way?"

"what went wrong?"

"why should it be this hard?"

i thought everything had a purpose?

how come i cant find the answer to this one?

 

mister, have you ever felt so lonely in life? that you'd do whatever it'll take just to have someone you could talk to or maybe have someone to walk you home...

have you ever felt like looking for something.. but you aren't so sure of what it is you want or not to have any idea of what to find.

 

i'm so confused with what i've been doing in life lately...

 

mister, how did you get through all this? tell me im wrong, but im pretty sure you've been through this before.. haven't you?

 

did you ask yourself the same qestions?

did you cry?

how bad did it hurt?

i've made a wrong turn, miste..

i thought i could escape from all of these.

 

questions in love....

question in life...

 

son, if you have love in your life it can make up for may great things from what you lack.. if you dont have it, no matter what else there is.. it's never going to be enough. love is a choice you make from moment to moment, son, love does not consist of just gazing at each other.but in looking together in the same direction..

 

son, loving her was never a wrong turn.. because, when it's true love, there's no turning backk..

 

yeah.. i cried...

 

i asked myself the same question too..

 

but what's love without pain?

 

the hardest thing to do is to watch the one you love, love someone else.

 

the same thing happened to me, son..

 

but remeber this, son...

 

the love we give away is the only love we keep.

[Itto Ogami]

so, you think you can love me?

it's not going to be that easy.

 

you'll have to give up everything except your son -

your relatives, your brothers, your other bf's.

 

i know... it's not fair.

but, then again, life never is.

[Itto Ogami]

i so need to feel wanted right now...

[maldita_overload]

I am cursed with vivid memories- so vivid that I sometimes feel your touch; that out of the blue I’m suddenly enveloped in the smell of your favorite cologne. I can’t let go, Angel. Please help me out.

[Masquerade]

You have to let me go so I can let you move on, too.

 

---

 

Thank you for going away subtly.

[Guest biancaanne]

N,

 

Goodbye. I'd rather be nothing to you than just a friend.

 

A

[Itto Ogami]

A heart can be broken;

but it keeps beating just the same.

 

-Fried Green Tomatoes

[StoicVampire]

Tonight I lost my sanity

To an angel’s voice full of ambiguity

Crystal eyes slowly mesmerizes

And frosted wings taking me into nothingness

 

Her kiss is a poison like an act of treason

Caught in my lips with a fatal sweetness

The venom gripping my heart in a silent fashion

With death creeping in, oh a lovely madness

 

Her touch weaves a magical spell

Dwelling and spinning uncontrollably in my soul

With her scent lingering in the bitter clouds of ghoul

Heart beats forever cast upon a twisted ringing bell

 

A cold embrace in a scorching flame of a furnace

Could wake me up from this beautiful nightmare

Lies whispering are a hymn of grace

This could be a fateful night for my soul to bear

[Guest biancaanne]

My Dear,

 

What are we doing?

 

In as much as I love the attention, I'm just too scared of what I'm starting to feel. Please take away the trauma of a broken heart...please?

 

Jejemon