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Writings of the Heart


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Two Happy Lovers

by Pablo Neruda

 

Two happy lovers make one bread,

a single moon drop in the grass.

Walking, they cast two shadows that flow together;

waking, they leave one sun empty in their bed.

 

Of all the possible truths, they chose the day;

they held it, not with ropes but with an aroma.

They did not shred the peace; they did not shatter words;

their happiness is a transparent tower.

 

The air and wine accompany the lovers.

The night delights them with its joyous petals.

They have a right to all the carnations.

 

Two happy lovers, without an ending, with no death,

they are born, they die, many times while they live:

they have the eternal life of the Natural.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A time when life was once less bitter,

Twice when there was happiness,

Countless things enjoyed, felt and known.

 

Should have known, wasn’t forever

Should have stopped, then and there

Ceased time, world’s ups and downs

Screamed at the birds that sing

Cowered from the sun’s brightness

Screeched to a halt, motor still running.

Should have said goodnight when it was

Still bright.

 

Borrowed words uttered by heroes

Copied lines, flew to the moon.

Listened to unspoken words

Saw undone acts, felt painless pains

Tasted tasteless meals and

Smelled scentless flowers.

 

Though care was there, love around

Words uttered, all seemed empty.

Once possessed but all in vain.

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10 months is specific.

It’s not infinite.

It’s a long shot to forever.

 

They say there is no such thing. But I dissent. There exist a good music that you could listen to over and over, a classic movie that could make you cry every time, a great book that has lessons that linger, or a fine memory that you could take out and unfold in your darkest times.

 

And then there is YOU.

 

It’s ten and it’s not the end.

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The long drive i did, the hot coffee i dropped, the surprised face you wore, the girl that covered up her ass and the stupidity that cemented my insanity for you. Everything i thought that we were just crumbled before my very eyes. The walls came up as quickly as it fell before. I had to close my eyes and ignore slow burn inside my heart that is ripping me in pieces.

 

I smiled before i turned around and close that door.

 

3 years after, your mom handed me a box. She had a hard time looking for me since i moved out of the country. You killed yourself with drugs and alcohol.

 

Took me another year of grieving before i opened the box and found your letter for me. It was written two days before your death.

Ellie,

 

I miss you. Please forgive me. I love you.

 

*

 

I miss you everyday too.

And i never stopped loving you.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Dear Stranger,

 

I have long been waiting for the time to come when I get to see you face to face for the first time. After dreaming of you for so long, I long to bask in the moment when our eyes will first meet, the first few seconds of instantaneous recognition that we have arrived in each others lives. I ache for the moment when I will feel something again, apart from the jaded cynicism I have held on to like a lifeline.

 

Don't you know how close I am to giving up on the thought of you?

 

But I believe that someday, our souls will seek each other and find a way to make us whole. The half of this burden I have been lugging will be eased by your broad shoulders, as I am capable of healing all your hurts. Regardless of how many things we were able to endure prior to our moments together, I believe that those are essential and imperative, so we can correct previous mistakes and start on a pristine slate.

 

Stranger, I have been calling out a silent beckoning for you. Long before this night and the nights to come until the moment we stare at each other's eyes. I pray that the Divine Comedian will keep you safe for me, so that I can hold you tight and never let you go once you are in the warm confines of my arms. I would not want to be anywhere far from you when I get you to where you should have been a long time ago: beside me. The thought of you encapsulated me since I was a young naïve girl. And I will continue to nurture the special place I have been saving for you and you alone. I have let others in but only to a superficial degree. I know enough not to let anyone invade your space because the thought of you remains. I wait and I know it's not going to be in vain. You will come eventually, I feel it. And with each second that pass by, I know it's not long before the moment we have both been waiting for finally happens.

 

Keep the faith, Stranger. Someone told me I should not lose that. And I won't. If only for you, so be it. When you feel like giving up, do as I did and write. I am anticipating the delicious moment when I get to see you read this letter. That would mean I am not to spend my life alone because you came and proved me otherwise. Like a true Knight, you will bear the armor that will shield me from the pain others have inflicted. I will no longer feel afraid of what is yet to come because I know you will not let me endure another heartbreak. And this damsel will not distress you, how could I? We have both been through a lot and this time, we will only allow happiness and bliss to encompass our beings.

 

I am weary but I will be here to welcome you, fellow traveler. Our journey may be long but we are meant to meet at the same destination. I often look up and pick the brightest star to wish upon, in the hopes that you are doing the same somewhere in the distance. If we wish hard enough, the Divine Comedian might hear our pleas and throw us in each other's paths sooner rather than later. Until the time comes, the comforting thought that somewhere in the vast universe, a single connection is shared by our two souls.

 

Will you be there on my next coffee break? Have I walked by your seat long before I recognized my yearning for you? Did you once brush my shoulder in your haste to get to me? Where will you be tomorrow? Are you already in my life hiding as a friend?

 

Stranger, I will live. I will live for you and for me. And when we meet, let us establish an us. I am floundering in the emptiness of independence. I need you. My heart is pumping a steady rhythm and it kills me. I am ready for erratic pulses that only you can bring. I want rainbows and butterflies and intense conversations that mean more than physical release.

 

Au revoir.

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  • 2 weeks later...

pasingit po ako ha..

 

Its been 2 years since i found myself doing paper works and reports at the office, never had a chance to get along with someone else but rather with just friends and colleagues. i never thought in just a span of time, someone would turn my life upside down.

 

Im just a person who had given chance that this special girl colored my life and make it meaningful, believing that nothing is impossible if you both wanted to be happy and share every moment of time spending with each together. Telling me that she would spend her life with me and wouldn’t dare to leave me even the bitterest situation.. How blessed I am to be with this girl and I thought this would never end..

 

Time past, things change, and do so we. It seems that life is very unfair as we expected. I didn’t expect that a girl you wish to grow on to suddenly change her mind and wishes to get things fall apart. I know I did my best to give her everything, to make her satisfied, contented and the happiness that she ever wanted; in return all that I ask for her is to love me back.

 

I feel bad because I agree on her decision to let her go, because I love her so much. If being separated on each other ways would find her true happiness, there’s nothing I could do but to respect and support her..

 

Now I’m starting all over, picking up the broken pieces of me to make it whole again. I believe it’s not late for me to find someone who could love me as I am despite of everything and not who loves me because of something…

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