BnF95 Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Wow, your friend (for me) is a martyr. This only shows that love is not blind, as some people may oppsose to. If i was in his situation. well...... that's the end of it. Two can play that game, and rather having the guilt feeling....it's better to let go...........................For me its crazy, but I admire his gumption. As far as being a martyr ... I don't know, I've a grudging respect for someone who refuses to play games and admits his feelings. Take note, he is still angry at his wife, but he is trying to get past the jealous rage and get back his life AND his wife. Quote Link to comment
kumutob Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 I think I can be called a martyr...or stupid? Cuz I accepted my bf back after he cheated on me TWICE. Quote Link to comment
best_X_girlfriend Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 ^twice? try being cheated on 5 times but we're still together. why? because i felt this is not the end yet. most of you might say it's stupidity or martyrdom, but you'll never really understand the feeling and the reason of those who stayed in the relationship after being cheated on if you're not in the situation or you havent experienced the situation. Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 ^twice? try being cheated on 5 times but we're still together. why? because i felt this is not the end yet. most of you might say it's stupidity or martyrdom, but you'll never really understand the feeling and the reason of those who stayed in the relationship after being cheated on if you're not in the situation or you havent experienced the situation.Well, there is another reason other than stupidity or martyrdom ... its called LOVE. Quote Link to comment
boobahsmith Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 As I've mentioned on my previous posts, I believe that everybody deserve to have a 2nd chance, as long as the person will prove that what happened was just a mistake, at ikaw talaga ang loves nya. Pero kung halos everytime na lang e lolokohin ka, and everytime e mag su-suffer ka, then you have to consider to live your life without him. Maiksi lang ang buhay natin dito sa mundo, kaya I think we have to live our life to the fullest. Kaya kung may ibang person na magbibigay sa iyo ng sufferings, kahit na asawa mo pa siya, let him go para naman ma-realize niya na you deserve someone better. I'm sure kung talagang andun pa naman ung love nyo sa isa't-isa, in the end magkakabalikan din kayo kasi you have all the factors para magsama ulit (kids, your home, your family), and this time it will be for good na.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> you are so right, and i totally agree with you Quote Link to comment
lomex32 Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I believe your friend is granting/has granted PEACE for HIMSELF from HIMSELF.This will be always be the 1st step to move one.... ** he is trying to get past the jealous rage and get back his life ** <--- When he is ready he will make his move. To accept the facts or leave his post. "We should not wage war specially to ourselves" - Yuri Orlov For me its crazy, but I admire his gumption. As far as being a martyr ... I don't know, I've a grudging respect for someone who refuses to play games and admits his feelings. Take note, he is still angry at his wife, but he is trying to get past the jealous rage and get back his life AND his wife.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quote Link to comment
batikan Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 dehin na kung ako nga mapapagtiwalaan ko sarili ko eh eh pano kung sya hindi big issue iba na lang :thumbsdownsmiley: Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 I believe your friend is granting/has granted PEACE for HIMSELF from HIMSELF.This will be always be the 1st step to move one.... ** he is trying to get past the jealous rage and get back his life ** <--- When he is ready he will make his move. To accept the facts or leave his post. "We should not wage war specially to ourselves" - Yuri OrlovI hear what you are saying man, I wish I had the balls to just swallow my pride the same way myself. Quote Link to comment
silentkilla Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 Iwanan na sila period... Quote Link to comment
torix Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 masakit siguro sa una - pero darating din ang panahon na mawawala ang sakit - subsob ka sa trabaho and try to relax ng walang iniisip Quote Link to comment
agamulach_experience2000 Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 If youre gf/partner cheated on you, you must first know the reason what triggered her to do that, maybe: 1.) she got bored2.) she's a bitch on the inside which you did not know3.) you did something like fooling around with other chicks4.) among other stuffs hell knows We do not control our gf's, they can do what they want as we can do what we want. Whatever the her reason might be, but if I still love her and shes willing to make up for what she did, the f**k what anyone says, I f**k around as well so were quits :evil: . Un lang... :evil: Quote Link to comment
mastergeniusus@yahoo.com Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Patawarin sya.........Tapos palitan.........Problema ba yun......... Quote Link to comment
Rovy_R Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 tsk tsk tsk... pagnabasag ang baso mabuo mo man me lamat na... magkasugat ka gumaling man me peklat na.... Let go is my answer.... If she loves me so much as what she was saying for me to give another chance... di dapat nangyari yun... no love to begin with... Quote Link to comment
poqwanita Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 gawd.. relate ako..this just recently happened to me..discovered on christmas day (night actually).. i read on the "sent items" sa cell... this time, i did not shed a tear..kc third time na..he wanted to explain..told him, no need to do that because i've warned him when it happend the second time around..i told him not to justify his actions kc its no use..it would be hard for me to believe him anymore..he went back abroad and we were not able to talk about it (since ayoko nga pag usapan) and now..i dunno..it seems the status of our relationship is...hmmm..prang lie low muna... sabi nga, "once is enough, twice is too much, thrice?? nku baka barilin na ako sa luneta nyan wehehe share lng po... Quote Link to comment
missmanners Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 "fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me..." but i suppose this is really something that depends on each person's tolerance for their partner's philanderings and infidelities. if he or she can see through it and still accept the person, why not? who are we to judge that they are wrong? however, i think it's also important to realize that you cannot demand love and respect if you cannot give it.. either to your partner and most especially to yourself. and if it's ok for you that you're cheated on, what does that really say about you? just a thought. Quote Link to comment
mrs_azul Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Should you stay, or should you go?<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Oh god yes!!!! If he or she's capable of doing it once, why not another time? Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 "fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me..." but i suppose this is really something that depends on each person's tolerance for their partner's philanderings and infidelities. if he or she can see through it and still accept the person, why not? who are we to judge that they are wrong? however, i think it's also important to realize that you cannot demand love and respect if you cannot give it.. either to your partner and most especially to yourself. and if it's ok for you that you're cheated on, what does that really say about you? just a thought."To err is human, to forgive, divine" If my partner and I have outside relationships, with common consent, I guess the term for that is swingers? If without common consent, that would be infidelity, whether we forgive or not, I guess, depends on how much we love/treasure the other. If we can love the other person, inspite of their imperfections, inspite of their mistakes, inspite of all these things, then maybe, just maybe, that's love (or total infatuation). But I agree with you, who are we to judge that others are wrong. Quote Link to comment
lomex32 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 It may not it be as what you really see from your friend.Papalamig muna siya, to clear his mind and planning his move on the right momemnt. Cheaters are just like chickens that you caught rampaging your garden.... thay scamper away....The more you chase them the more you get pissed off and the harder you will catch them ....If you keep your cool, you can plan your move then you can GO FOR THE k*ll. I hear what you are saying man, I wish I had the balls to just swallow my pride the same way myself.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quote Link to comment
silentkilla Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Kung asawa mo and have kids, may be you need counselling and fix whatever your problems that caused infidelity. Para sa mag-nobyo/mag-nobya pa lang, wala nang sabi-sabi na makipaghiwalay na... Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 It may not it be as what you really see from your friend.Papalamig muna siya, to clear his mind and planning his move on the right momemnt. Cheaters are just like chickens that you caught rampaging your garden.... thay scamper away....The more you chase them the more you get pissed off and the harder you will catch them ....If you keep your cool, you can plan your move then you can GO FOR THE k*ll.Perhaps, after all, who can really read what's in another person's mind. But for all that, I think he's serious about it. After all, he's been putting most of his energy into work, and she's only human, it was a mistake. Now set it aside and rebuild his marriage. That was how he explained it. Of course the fact that he was drunk as a skunk kinda made me think he was telling the truth. You know ... IN VINO VERITAS. Quote Link to comment
missmanners Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 "To err is human, to forgive, divine" If my partner and I have outside relationships, with common consent, I guess the term for that is swingers? If without common consent, that would be infidelity, whether we forgive or not, I guess, depends on how much we love/treasure the other. If we can love the other person, inspite of their imperfections, inspite of their mistakes, inspite of all these things, then maybe, just maybe, that's love (or total infatuation). But I agree with you, who are we to judge that others are wrong.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> yes, a lot of it would depend on how much you love the person. how much can you take? how much can you forgive? how much can you ignore? but my point is you also have to love yourself. and during situations where your partner's fidelity is questionable or downright proven invalid, this love for yourself should rise above all others. and that should answer the question on whether you should stay or go. i know women who've been perennially cheated on and have decided to stick it out with their men. i know of friends who've walked away at the first instance of cheating. and i've also known of friends who are, what you call, "swingers". i'm not in any position to judge these or any other kind of relationship. but the bottomline for me is a person has to determine for themselves how they want to be treated. if they command love, fidelity and respect, hopefully they will live in a manner by which these will be given naturally. except, of course, in those rare instances when their partners are just simply unable to be monogamous. that's another entry altogether. Quote Link to comment
lomex32 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 When war breaks out we have the option to 1. k*ll the enemy for good or 2. turn them around and lead them to be your subjects ... History speaks for itself. Genghis Khan did this What I learned from management lectures, good managers have the elements that can make the 2nd choice. It is easy to fire unproductive staff, any jackass can do this. Firing somebody's ass is always the last resort. When we give 2nd chances to others it also gives us the 2nd chance to look at how are actions were, how are actions are and how are actions will be.... Our senses become sharper and thus we become more careful ..... We walk more softer and carry a bigger stick... And if at any point that the 2nd chance prove worthless, you will always have that stick. We can not control who will cheat on us, who will rob us, who will hit us .....What we can control is how we become a better partner, a better citizen ... Thats why your friend is diverting his energy onto his work .... Your friend will have his time, and she will have hers as well <--- Perhaps, after all, who can really read what's in another person's mind. But for all that, I think he's serious about it. After all, he's been putting most of his energy into work, and she's only human, it was a mistake. Now set it aside and rebuild his marriage. That was how he explained it. Of course the fact that he was drunk as a skunk kinda made me think he was telling the truth. You know ... IN VINO VERITAS.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 yes, a lot of it would depend on how much you love the person. how much can you take? how much can you forgive? how much can you ignore? but my point is you also have to love yourself. and during situations where your partner's fidelity is questionable or downright proven invalid, this love for yourself should rise above all others. and that should answer the question on whether you should stay or go. True, only too true. i know women who've been perennially cheated on and have decided to stick it out with their men. i know of friends who've walked away at the first instance of cheating. and i've also known of friends who are, what you call, "swingers". i'm not in any position to judge these or any other kind of relationship. but the bottomline for me is a person has to determine for themselves how they want to be treated. if they command love, fidelity and respect, hopefully they will live in a manner by which these will be given naturally. except, of course, in those rare instances when their partners are just simply unable to be monogamous. that's another entry altogether.Well, if one partner wants a monogamous relationship while the other one wants a polygamous one, I suppose a breakup is inevitable. I like the thrust of most of your argument, but one line kind of puzzles me. I mean, a person has to determine how s/he wishes to be treated, but as far as how their partner actually treats them is up to the partner, of course, if the treatment is unjust, one can always choose to separate. When war breaks out we have the option to 1. k*ll the enemy for good or 2. turn them around and lead them to be your subjects ... History speaks for itself. Genghis Khan did thisTrue, in love and war, all things are fair. What I learned from management lectures, good managers have the elements that can make the 2nd choice. It is easy to fire unproductive staff, any jackass can do this. Firing somebody's ass is always the last resort. When we give 2nd chances to others it also gives us the 2nd chance to look at how are actions were, how are actions are and how are actions will be.... Our senses become sharper and thus we become more careful ..... We walk more softer and carry a bigger stick... And if at any point that the 2nd chance prove worthless, you will always have that stick. We can not control who will cheat on us, who will rob us, who will hit us ..... What we can control is how we become a better partner, a better citizen ... Thats why your friend is diverting his energy onto his work .... Your friend will have his time, and she will have hers as well <---I’m sorry lomex32, I think I didn’t make it clear. He figured that because he was so busy at work, she felt lonely and ignored. Maybe things’ll work out, maybe they won’t, but I still have to admire someone who is willing to stick his neck out that way. Quote Link to comment
lomex32 Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 Gotcha mayt.Admirable indeed. Thinking if we can do it...? I myself would sleep with my one eye open......I guess to err is human or it is sthe animal inside us that makes mistakes ..... BUT it is also in our nature that once pain is inflicted, a wound comes out, and leaves a scar ..... who would forget ... Try hitting your dog or a dog that sees you as a master, it will break into a shrill cry ..... after dong so, try to look at it in the eye it see how it reactsDo the same to an elephant, worse it will not forget for a long time .... The dog may soon be lost in wander and the elephent may gorge you with its tusk ..... I’m sorry lomex32, I think I didn’t make it clear. He figured that because he was so busy at work, she felt lonely and ignored. Maybe things’ll work out, maybe they won’t, but I still have to admire someone who is willing to stick his neck out that way.<{POST_SNAPBACK}> Quote Link to comment
BnF95 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 Gotcha mayt.Admirable indeed. Thinking if we can do it...? I myself would sleep with my one eye open......I guess to err is human or it is sthe animal inside us that makes mistakes ..... BUT it is also in our nature that once pain is inflicted, a wound comes out, and leaves a scar ..... who would forget ... Try hitting your dog or a dog that sees you as a master, it will break into a shrill cry ..... after dong so, try to look at it in the eye it see how it reactsDo the same to an elephant, worse it will not forget for a long time .... The dog may soon be lost in wander and the elephent may gorge you with its tusk .....I hear you. As I said ... admirable, but then men often give grudging respect to something they cannot ... or will not ... do themselves. As I'm a confirmed bachelor ... I find my friend's actions and statements ... admirable and respectable. :hypocritesmiley: Quote Link to comment
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