Would You Go After Someone Who is Taken?

[awo]

jogger and gent...2 thumbs up

[gonefishing]

All is fair in love and war.

 

And in war, same as in marriage it is allowed to take advantage of the enemy.

[badgurl06]

why not???if theres a sparks bet us...yes ill go for it!! di pa naman married eh...asawa nga nahihiram pa eh di ba?? lol peace!

[iwalkalone]

it's not right...unless he breaks up with his partner first... pero if they're married na...no chance na rin...yoko makasira ng family.

[SoundWave]

magka-blockmate kami noong 1st year college. hindi ko sya masyado pinapansin. pero nirereto ako ng isa kong kaklase na ligawan ko sya dahil isa sya sa mga magaganda sa klase namin. ewan ko ba bakit iba ang niligawan ko. kaya lang nabasted ako. sinisisi nga ako ng kaklase ko ba't iba ang niligawan ko.

 

balik tayo sa kanya. minsan, nakakasabayan ko sya umuwi. nililibre ko sya ng pamasahe. one time, tumawag sya sa bahay namin. gulat ako kasi di ko naman naibigay number ko sa kanya. nararamdaman ko na rin na maaaring may gusto sya akin.

 

okay, lumipas ang maraming araw na binalewala ko sya. after a year, lumipat ako ng ibang school. nagkita ulit kami sa isang mall. hiningi ko number nya. kaya lang hindi ko nagawang tawagan sya. hanggang sa nawala ko na ang number nya. lumipas ang ilang taon, nagkita ulit kami. nagkamustahan, pero di ko na yata nahingi ang number nya.

 

lumipas ang panahon, ilan babae na rin ang nakarelasyon ko, pero hindi naman nagtatagal. naaalala ko sya kahit di ko na maalala pangalan nya. minsan naikukwento ko sya sa kabarkada ko tungkol sa mga babaeng pinalampas ko. gusto ko sana magkita kami ulit.

 

pasakay ako sa loob ng fx nang bigla akong tinapik ng makakatabi ko. tuwang tuwa ako. akalain mo nga na nagkita kami ulit sa pangatlong pagkakataon. ililibre ko sana sya pero nauna syang nagbayad at ako tuloy ang nalibre nya. panay sya kwento tungkol sa trabaho at hiningi nya number ko kung sakaling kakailanganin ang tulong ko sa work nila. ako naman nag-iisip na eto na, hindi ko na ito pakakawalan. pero nung nagtanong sya kung meron na akong asawa, sabi ko wala pa. ako naman nagtanong. para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig nang marinig ko ang sagot. may asawa na sya at 2 anak! parang may tumutusok sa puso ko tapos pinakita pa nya ang picture ng mga anak nya sa cellphone. hindi na tuloy ako maka-concentrate sa mga kinukwento nya. panay oo at konting reaction na lang ginagawa ko, tinatago ko na lang pangkalungkot ko. malapit na ako sa bababaan ko kaya nagpaalam na ako sa kanya.

 

base sa mga kwento nya, sya ang tipo kong babae na gusto ko mapangasawa.

pero huli na.

naiinis ako sa sarili ko!

 

nagsisi tuloy ako.

sana hindi ko sya binalewala.

sana sya na lang niligawan ko noon...

[Joie]

Been there.

 

It never really ends well though.

 

See - the knowledge that he cheated on his current partner for you leads to the fear that he will cheat on you for someone else as well.

 

Vicious cycle.

[driftingman]

would i go after someone who is taken.....

 

i would say almost always. if the early bird gets the worm - it does not mean that bird that wakes up later can not steal it away.

 

if someone was in the right place and at the right time and made his claim before me - should not mean that he can now ease up and take everything for granted. you can not take your job for granted. you can not take anything else for granted. then why should it be like that for relationships.

 

i would give him run for his money, as i would never hold back. no matter whether she is married or in a relationship. what could be more fair than some good honest competition.

 

also the best would get taken the first. and if you want the best - would you not have to go after the ones that are taken already?

[Joie]

would i go after someone who is taken.....

 

i would say almost always. if the early bird gets the worm - it does not mean that bird that wakes up later can not steal it away.

 

if someone was in the right place and at the right time and made his claim before me - should not mean that he can now ease up and take everything for granted. you can not take your job for granted. you can not take anything else for granted. then why should it be like that for relationships.

 

i would give him run for his money, as i would never hold back. no matter whether she is married or in a relationship. what could be more fair than some good honest competition.

 

also the best would get taken the first. and if you want the best - would you not have to go after the ones that are taken already?

 

You have a point. Many relationships have gone the way of the dodo because one or both parties took the relationship for granted.

 

It goes back to the point that - the courtship should not end when you become a couple. In fact, it should not end at all.

However because people get so caught up in the mundane details of life, they forget this.

 

But this begs the question -- until when is someone fair game? Whats the cut off point? Does the competition end when the other party is married or is that a detail that can be easily swept under the rug?

 

Just thinking out loud.

[maldita_overload]

most of the time, i never really take into consideration my current prospect's (for the lack of a better term) status. the thing is, if you guys are gonna click, then you'll click, present status is irrelevant...

 

however, there is always that question of the "relationship" lasting... as the status of both parties affect that....

Edited November 11, 2006 by maldita_overload

[driftingman]

You have a point. Many relationships have gone the way of the dodo because one or both parties took the relationship for granted.

 

It goes back to the point that - the courtship should not end when you become a couple. In fact, it should not end at all.

However because people get so caught up in the mundane details of life, they forget this.

 

But this begs the question -- until when is someone fair game? Whats the cut off point? Does the competition end when the other party is married or is that a detail that can be easily swept under the rug?

 

Just thinking out loud.

 

thanks joie,

 

cut off points - i am really not convinced that there ought to be such thing.

 

if i am a husband or a wife taking my spouse for granted then it is no less worse than the before getting married stage. and quite frankly, having an accepted cut of point just means that you have crossed the finish line and can now relax.

 

i think that every husband and every wife should always be worried about losing his/her spouse as the competition should bring the best out of us. and perhaps more caring and loving couples. won't you agree?

[Joie]

thanks joie,

 

cut off points - i am really not convinced that there ought to be such thing.

 

if i am a husband or a wife taking my spouse for granted then it is no less worse than the before getting married stage. and quite frankly, having an accepted cut of point just means that you have crossed the finish line and can now relax.

 

i think that every husband and every wife should always be worried about losing his/her spouse as the competition should bring the best out of us. and perhaps more caring and loving couples. won't you agree?

 

 

I see your point quite quite clearly and I agree with you -- being married does not mean you can just take anything for granted. This goes for both men and women. We should always be on our toes.

 

But of course, as in any issue as touchy as this... another question pops up in my mind.

 

Sometimes, relationships are at that "taken for granted" stage... but they are not totally hopeless yet.

 

When someone moves in on a person in this stage, I think it sort of takes away any chance that the current relationship might still work. Thats my worry -- what if I "encouraged" someone who was in a relationship like this?

 

Wouldnt it rebound on me big time in terms of Karma?

 

Again, im just thinking out loud here...

[Larry]

as long as he/she is not married (or you were not aware that he/she is married i.e. they led you on that they were single.)

 

then everything's fair game

 

like one of my friends always say....why should I care if her man doesn't take care of her?

 

but as for married peeps....not touching any of that, most men will k*ll because of that and that is never good.

[driftingman]

I see your point quite quite clearly and I agree with you -- being married does not mean you can just take anything for granted. This goes for both men and women. We should always be on our toes.

 

But of course, as in any issue as touchy as this... another question pops up in my mind.

 

Sometimes, relationships are at that "taken for granted" stage... but they are not totally hopeless yet.

 

When someone moves in on a person in this stage, I think it sort of takes away any chance that the current relationship might still work. Thats my worry -- what if I "encouraged" someone who was in a relationship like this?

 

Wouldnt it rebound on me big time in terms of Karma?

 

Again, im just thinking out loud here...

 

very interesting point - and I would have to agree with you that if it is not beyond hope then it should be allowed to rebound.

 

but my predicament here is that who should make that judgement? you the outsider who is making a move? or the "taken person"? unless you are very close to the couple - you can never fully judge that if there is hope or not. so should not move in assuming that you would be told - if u are not welcome? after all it is not a hostile take over....

[mj.payne]

it depends on the girl, if she is really worth it, yes i will

[Joie]

very interesting point - and I would have to agree with you that if it is not beyond hope then it should be allowed to rebound.

 

but my predicament here is that who should make that judgement? you the outsider who is making a move? or the "taken person"? unless you are very close to the couple - you can never fully judge that if there is hope or not. so should not move in assuming that you would be told - if u are not welcome? after all it is not a hostile take over....

 

 

I think it is something that only the people in the relationship itself will be able to gauge.

 

That is, if they do not get blinded by the "intensity" of their feelings for each other.

 

More often than not ... emotions get in the way of logical thinking and this leads to a lot of heartache in the end.

 

But youre right, its such a gray area and difficult to understand.