chiquezee

hmm... the typical fairy tales and fables.... but I've been reading law books since I was a kid, and enjoyed it...

Dear Tony,

You and your brother have so much in common. The way you laugh, the mannerisms, amazingly genetic. If not for the skin tone, I'd say you are twins. But I dare say I like you more. His slang tongue irritates me. Sometimes I feel like pulling it out and sucking it myself to rid him of the stateside sound he got used to from living there all his younger days.

It goes without saying that I enjoy both your companies. But I'm not into "tuhogs". Lucky parents you have, for producing two handsome fellows. The last thing I want is a family feud.

I have always been a discreet woman who prides herself for carrying every situation well. One is enough for me. You know you have an edge because for one, though the ties have been severed on his end, the band is still worn. You, on the other hand, are jewel-less.

I know I have been working with him longer, been through so much kaplastikan with him more. But knowing you gives a light, warm, but breezy feeling. I like the way your face lights up when I enter the room, how you'd go through the crowd to get to me and pat me on the shoulder to ask how things are, while proud older bro keeps his dignified cool and just nods my way as if possessed by Mr. Darcy himself. But his approach is so romantic and subtle, the stolen glances, the way he'd quitely inch his way to me when I am not surrounded by the multitude, drop a line nonchalantly, and then smile, and come closer... I find my woman instinct shaken.

Charm and class, your brother has more. But sincerity and coolness, you've got.

Ok, so here goes... I like you, that I'm sure. But for now, liking you is the best thing I can offer. I am too engrossed with so much affairs of the latitudes and lontitudes to be distracted, even momentarily, by serious, heavy stuff. For truly, these matters aren't to be taken lightly. I want to be able to focus on it when I finally get the time. For now, duty calls.

Me,

C

Matagal din kitang inantay. Medyo natagalan ka yata sa pagbalik. Pinapanood pa rin kita, at ganun pa rin naman ang aking nararamdaman. Isang masaklap na hatak sa kaibuturan ng damdamin na bagamat walang isip ay napapaisip tuloy.... Nanghihinayang pa rin ako sa kawalan.

Nagtataka rin ako kung bakit sa gitna ng kawalang kamalayan ay nagagawa kong makalikha ng pigura, ng imahe, kung ano ang tunay mong pagkatao. At gayun din, nakakaramdam ako ng unti-unting pagkamuhi sa sino mang nilalang na madalas mong pagbalingan ng pansin. Inggit.

Pero ganyan talaga ang buhay kapag hinayaan mong makunsumo ito ng pagnanasang ayaw mong tanggapin sa iba.

Kahibangan ang lahat ng ito. Kaya hanggang dito na lang, kahit na pa mananatili ka riyan, at ako, ganun din. Ganun e.

V -

I'll make it simple, don't worry. I have never failed in this thing you want me to engage you in.

Let's see who the "last man standing" will be. Your tactic doesn't work for me. You should know that by now.

Jerk.

Like the others, you'll realize you made a mistake and you'll keep begging. Though your egotistical, maggot-infested soul might not want to, you will be forced to because you are left with no choice. You will surrender to the dictates of what you cannot control. Surprisingly (for you), you shall fight with yourself. (You already are.) The struggle will be painfully bloody and merciless. But you brought it upon yourself with your own hands. I will save myself the trouble of going through the gory details. The scenario is all too familiar. I already know. I taste blood. Could it be yours? I'm sure it is. You are so much like the rest though you think you are a class of your own. Bullshit ego. Lose it, it renders you defenseless.

With absolute certainty, it will come and strike you down. I shall patiently wait. I can do that. Do not underestimate the power behind the powerful. You must have forgotten. I shall not even lift a finger. Just one twitch of a muscle. Effortless. And you'll succumb to failure you thought you'll never go through, at least not this soon.

I've seen the likes of you come and go. Goes to show I know my way around. But you should know that. Pity you if you don't. You will be slaughtered by your ignorance.

Moron.

I will watch you from a distance. You shall cringe and I will grin in anticipation as I watch the ever familiar agony you will go through brought by a tempting lethal poison you didn't even realize you were having generous servings of.

You may think you're in command. You don't know that for sure. I have everything planned out since months ago. You see, I never initiate, I just wait. And though you think you are a step ahead of me, I already know the next move you'll make. I just am so good at pretending to be "clueless".

Its a game of strategy. Tactics upon tactics. You don't fool me. I am, as a matter of fact, having the time of my life.

I will laugh contentedly. Soon.

- C

STAY

obviously, you dont want me to leave

U,

I have been waiting, and I am not sure if you are aware. But do come soon...

I am vulnerable at the moment, the fatigue draining my reason and all, but I am keeping myself intact with enough sanity to be fully awake when the moment comes. I don't want to miss it, and regret the loss.

Have you walked on by, I wonder.

As it is ,there are twinges of shouldn't haves nudging my mind.

Pass by, please...

C.

C-

Its been a long day. As usual, I have been preoccupied with matters that are too great for my mortal hands. As I go through the motions of securing the fate of a million and one across borders, you slipped in my mind for quite a few times. Such a distraction.

At the back of my mind, while I hurry through the day to make the most of the 24-hours allotment, I can hear you tell me that line from The Godfather you often throw at me : Your life is what you make it. WitH the familiar mutter of profanity and slight chuckle. Of course, your philosophy has truth in it but I can only sigh when I recall the harder truth you slam me with everytime you hear me narrate the agony of selflessness. "Its a thankless job and you know it. Ikaw e."

Right.

Another day is over, and another yet to begin. I am still here, working my ass of, for something I believe in. Its a thankless job, I know. But I am not complaining.

- C

C -

Thats how many days already? Some more and I'll be "detoxified" of you. But what keeps on lingering in my mind is your statement. When you asked when I'll be back, and I said we won't see each other then anyway, your response sent a warm gush from my head to my toes. Dang. You got me again, and I think you dont even have a clue that you're pressing the right buttons. That's not such a good thing for me.

And hey, I appreciate the effort of meeting with me even that late a time, and going through the lengths of picking me up though you hate the very gates where I work, and the ground we walk on.

I am sorry you felt disappointed and I am having second thoughts about being too honest. I think my confession about what happened two weeks ago affected you. You suddenly fell quiet, after the banter of disbelief...

But its been how many days already? Im trying and I think I just might succeed. Regardless of what may be in my mind at the moment. I think I just might make it to the other side, away from the cliff. And I know, somehow, you are trying to limit yourself too. You are about to take a step closer to the edge and you are trying to hold yourself back. I can sense it. And that's just fine.

- C

Dang! You got me again! Just when I thought I had the upper hand of the situation, you turn the tables around and caught me off guard. I have to admit that I have met my match. You seem to know how to make me take a step back. I despise that because you are challenging me and drawing me even closer. Lets wait tomorrow.....

still the chiq

C -

How was the trip? I hope you weren't that tired driving all those miles on a special day such as today. I guess as we grow older, the value of what once excited us diminishes and every moment is just like the last, and the next. They come and go, regardless of how we see it. King Solomon was right. Senseless, everything is senseless.

I'm sorry I had to say what I said. I wanted to regret deciding but that was no hasty decision. I sat, walked, looked beyond the walls, searched the tiled floor for reasons to say otherwise -- but something inside me tugged my senses and I had to...

I have lost the right to regret and I have to live with the statement. It stands. You know how much I wish I could. What you don't know is how much I want, but can't. Its all about weighing priorities. I value something far deeper than what I can have in a momentary snap of euphoria. I choose that.

Its a lose-lose situation and I'd rather withdraw now than admit defeat farther on. At least I can boldly declare, my head is bloody, but unbowed.

But to be more real... I would always wonder. I will keep on going back to this day when I stood firm at the edge of the cliff, looked down, and made the wise choice to step back, ever so carefully. One day, I will smile and gaze at someone else's eyes and know that I did well this moment.

It is not cowardice to do the right thing. I have always dared, testing the limits of my bounds, so you know the reason isn't that I want to retreat out of fear. It is the desire to be courageous in meeting what is unknown head-on that drove me to take the road less travelled. I hope you understand.

On a more mortal exchange, I will have a pair of green eyes flashing at the back of my head, from time to time, and I will wonder if having a pair of emeralds will also make you more fascinated with me. Perhaps not. I am mere mortal to the gods you have among you. Perhaps a nymph, but never a goddess, at least not to you.

And so I say good night, dearest. You have been a part of me. I will write you again, even in here, knowing someday you'll chance upon it and laugh yourself to pieces, with a curse playfully spitting from your lips, and a chuckle of endearment for what used to be your momentary "south babe". Then you'll remember me and will want me all over again. But for now, I lay my head to deep slumber. Looking forward to tomorrow without you.

- C

JUST MY IMAGINATION

Gwyneth Paltrow & Babyface

Each day through my window

I watch him as he passes by

I say to myself

I'm so lucky he's so fly

To have a boy like him

Is truly a dream come true

Out of all the girlies in the world

He belongs to you

Chorus:

But it was just my imagination

Runnin' away with me

Tell you it was just my imagination

Runnin' away with me

Soon we'll be married

And raise a family (oh yeah...)

Have a cozy little crib in the country

With two children, maybe three

I tell you I...

Can visualize it all baby

It couldn't be a dream

'Cause too real it all seems

Oooohhhh...

Chorus:

But it was just my imagination (once again yeah)

Runnin' away with me (running away with me)

Tell you it was just my imagination

Runnin' away with me (away with me yeah)

Everynight on my knees I pray

Dear Lord hear my plea yeah

Don't ever let another

Take his love from me

Or I will surely die

Her love is heavenly (heavenly) when your arms enfold me

I hear her tender rhapsody

But in reality

He doesn't even know me

Just my imagination (oohh, so fly look out my window)

Runnin' away with me (it's runnin' away with me baby)

Just my imagination (runnin' away)

Runnin' away with me (my baby, my sugar, my sweetie, look at my baby)

Just my imagination (oohh, so fly look out my window)

Runnin' away with me (it's runnin away with me)

Just my imagination (yeeaaaah)

Runnin' away with me (my baby, my sugar, my sweetie, look at my baby)

Just my imagination (ohh, so fly look out my window)

Runnin' away with me (it's runnin' away with me)

Just my imagination (yeeaaaah)

Runnin' away with me....

:cool:

Gwyneth Paltrow feat. Huey Lewis

[Huey Lewis:] Baby let's cruise

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Away from here

[Huey Lewis:] Don't be confused

[Gweneth Paltrow:] The way is clear

[both:] And if you want it you got it forever

This is not a one night stand

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Baby... yeah

[both:] So, let the music take your mind

Just release and you will find

[Chorus: (Both)]

You're gonna fly away

Glad you're going my way

I love it when we're cruising together

Music is played for love

Cruising is made for love

I love it when we're cruising together

[Huey Lewis:] Baby tonight

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Belongs to us

[Huey Lewis:] Everything right

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Do what you must

[both:] And inch by inch we get closer and closer

To every lil' part of each other

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Oooh baby yeah

[Huey Lewis:] Sooo

[both:] Let the music take your mind

Just release and you will find

[Chorus]

[both:] Cruise with me baby

Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh

[Huey Lewis:] Yeah

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhh

[both:] Oooohhh baby let's cruise

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Let's float, let's glide

[both:] Oooohh

Let's open up

[Gweneth Paltrow:] and go inside

[both:] And if you want it, you got it forever

I could just stay here beside you and love you baby

Let the music

[Gweneth Paltrow:] take your mind

[both:] Just release and

[Huey Lewis:] you will find

[Chorus]

[both:] You're gonna fly away

Glad you're going my way

I love it when we're cruising together

Music is played for love

Cruising is made for love

I love it when...I love it, I love it, I love it

[Gweneth Paltrow:] Ooohh

Huey Lewis: Cruise with me baby

[Gweneth Paltrow:] I love it when we're cruising together

:heart:

:cool:

FORGETFUL LUCY

Adam Sandler

The Hukilau was the place

Where I first saw your face

We liked each other right away

But you didn't remember me the very next day

Forgetful Lucy

Has got a nice caboosey

I used to trick you into pulling your car over so we could chat

But my favorite time was when you beat the s@%t out of Ula with a bat

Then we drove up to see Dr. Keats

And found out why Doug always has to change his sheets

Forgetful Lucy

Cracked her head like Gary Busey

But I still love her so

And I'll never let her go

Even if while I'm singing this song

She's wishing I had Jocko the walrus' schlong

Forgetful Lucy

Her lips are so damn juicy

How about another first kiss

:heart:

Tell me, C, are you out to prove me wrong? And perhaps show me that I have met my match? That this time I cannot read minds, and no, not even the language of your gestures? That I have not triumphed yet, like I thought I have, and that I am still under the clutches of your enigma, and bound by the nature of my Eve?

Nah. Au contraire, I think you are making sure you are within the level of my stance because you found yourself captive. And so I will not see the obvious, you would like to make me think that the tables are turned.

I think I read you well but I see now that you are matching sword with sword. You're playing my game even before I played yours. Nasty. But I am ready.

How many did I say it was going to be? Let me count now... 15 ... 18... 34... Yes, a supposed thirty-four. But 22, I will be there. We shall see...

It's actually funny how you are starting to sound like I do with the north to south swaying of tides. Cute. I appreciate that.

Play ball, dearie. But I heard you loud and clear. You obviously cannot but "will try" so that when you no longer can "you will call me to come...". Hah! You have a plan! Nice one.

We'll see... we'll see.....

After all, I know you'll give in before I do. You already did.

-C

HONEY

Thats what he called me, just this afternoon.

Let's see... well, I'm kinda in the mood to stoop down a notch or two so somebody can actually reach the level of my reasoning.

Hahaha! Idiotic moron. But wait, I am perhaps, refering to myself.

Told myself I will never engage them in useless exchanges... but I have begun... and I must finish.

Raring to go!

Give 'em to me baby! :evil:

Dear G,

Its been quite a while since I alloted time to sit down with you and discuss things that matter most. I have been preoccupied, busy, stressed out, indisposed, whathaveyou.. but i know it's not an excuse.

I am sorry for bringing you to that state of mind, that which you think is confusing and unnecessary.

Since here we are, might as well begin the tattle...

I am obviously at a loss for words. I don't know exactly what to say. If only you knew what you wanted to tell me then things will be easier.

I still cannot find you....

You're still hiding from the pain.

I think you have numbed yourself and it doesnt help.

Draw out, kiddo.

- c -

EXCELLENT

An appreciation of a job well done. :cool:

Wash off today's grimes and refresh for tomorrow's.

Have a good laugh. Works all the time

Three levels of losers

 

Level 1: People who have to get kicked by a mule to learn why.

Level 2: People who get kicked by a mule & still wonder why.

Level 3: People who get kicked by the same mule twice or more times & still wonder why.

that's more of an IDIOT than a loser :upside:

there is that portion in my human makeshift that allows for jealousy.

when i feel that sinking feeling down my gut, and i find my eyes shifting downward, i know im getting jealous.

but that's being human and that doesn't mean i'll react beyond reason.

i feel it, heck, what can you or i do? there's no point in convincing myself i am not when i know i am. but there's no point in squeezing blood from rock since nothing will appease a troubled pride but self-indulgence and boosted confidence. and those do not come from anybody else but within.

so there's a lot of bullshit with "jealousy within reason". jealousy requires no thinking. it is irrational. it is insecurity. and we all have that. its how you respond to the nagging, biting feeling inside that requires rationality and propriety.

c -

When I saw you when I did, I couldn't help but regret that things can't be more than what it is. And all the warning bells sounded like a hollow toll that screams of tidal waves at the cave's mouth. The thing is, it is okay for you to take it to a higher level. I am tempted. Thats where the complication starts. Its knowing I have the liberty to indulge, and I am capable, and you want to -- but I have more sense that that. My senses, however, may be overpowered by my hypothalamus.

Its wonderful to know that we feel the same for each other, like you said, "mutual". But at the end of it all, I'll be left holding the bag. I wouldn't want that, but that's what my reality will be if I do let it go beyond what I initially planned.

Like I told you, I'd love to but it wont be a smart move because I like you too much. But dang you know I'd love to... because it's not all about sex.. its how we converse, how we kid each other, how our thoughts flow... how we share what has happened in the day.. about people close to us... the willingness to meet our closests friends and make them click together... the touches, the kisses that need not lead to sex. Its the sensitivity... is that care?

That's why I should not focus on you, lest I drown. So from hereforth, you are no longer one and only... and I have to tell you, I was just with somebody as wonderful. Knowing myself, two is better than one. Better for both of you. For the three of us. After all, we have no intentions of complicating matters. Not you, not the other, definitely not me.

- c

things change quickly dont they?

from Coast

to Coast:

You'll have to excuse me. It must be that awful phase I go through regularly, when the gravity of the moon stretches me out of proportion. But even then, I think I am also in that phase where I am solidifying a stand, on whether or not I will accept the s@%t.

Damn you. I hate that I can't even hate you. I'm losing it, I know I am. And I hate it. H-a-t-e it! I want to regain control but it takes just a second of indecisiveness and I stumble. After all the shitty things last night, I swore to myself you will not hear from me again. But who am I kidding. Damn. Just this morning, the moment I was out of the door, after thinking that I will refrain from acknowledging you, the next thing on my mind was to tell you I was already starting my sunday, and wished you have a fine week-ender. What in the name have you done to me? Why do you have that much power over me? How were you able to do that to someone who prides in being in full control of every situation she finds herself in? Damn you. I hate it.

Today though I resolve that it is over. You got what you want and you will not get anything more.

Its not easy. It's such a struggle. But I am making my stand.

It will never be an eye for an eye but I can play your game. Just one more. I will oblige for one more time. Not for your sake but for mine; to take from you what you think I couldn't, and to regain what you carelessly thought was already gone. I swear, you will beg. You must have under-estimated me.

In a short while you will know IT IS O-VER.

What else is there to say?

Nababalot ako sa pagkasuya at pagkamuhi sa sarili. Alam kong hindi mo ako maiintindihan. Ngayon pa lang ay pinapasan ko na ang lahat ng pagsisising darating sa huli. Alam kong hindi mo nakikita iyon. Pero kung tutuusin.. sino ka ba? Hayaan mo muna ako nang sa ganon ay mahawi ang pagkabahala at pagkakutya sa isa't isa. Puede naman iyon, hindi ba? Puede kang maglakad nang mag isa sapagkat naglalakad ka nang madatnan kita. Ang totoo niyan, wala na talaga akong maramdaman.... Magusap na lang tayo kapag malinaw na ang patutunguhan ko. Sigurado akong nanaisin mong bumalik sa nilalakaran mo, kahit wala ako sa tabi mo.