Holly Golightly

Don't pretend you're kink-friendly if you're vanilla. Being vanilla is fine; performative sex is not.

🟢 Saying “I’m sorry” is easy for me. 🟡 Last time I said “I love you” to a romantic partner was 2016. 🔴 I don’t like constant messaging and hardly ever text first. He says “I miss you” often, and I just can’t say it back.

I was out on a first date last night that lasted nearly five hours because the conversation was good. At one point, he asked, "How many siblings do you have?" I replied, "None." He smiled and said, "It shows." I was slightly taken aback. "What do you mean by that?" I asked, bracing myself to be offended. Then he continued, "You have the confidence of someone who grew up in the spotlight, someone entirely comfortable being the center of attention." Verbatim. And this, good men, is how to compliment women.

Early on in dating, I had a brief conversation about finances with a European guy I was seeing. He mentioned he didn’t lend money and that involving money would ruin things between us. I had no intention of borrowing from him, and as an Asian woman, I found the comment distasteful. Kept my cool and moved on. Fast forward a few months, and he started fishing with, “I think you have more money than me.” I just looked at him without confirming or denying. Sit down, bitch.

I was unreachable all weekend, but I called him as soon as I got home out of courtesy. During our 27-minute conversation, he generously used feeling verbs and adjectives, which made me uncomfortable. “I missed you.” “I’m happy you called." And so on. Moments like this reinforce the idea in my mind that, after all these years of demonizing avoidants, I might be one myself.

Oh, I got it from de Bijenkorf Amsterdam. Let me narrow it down for you: try either Oud for Greatness or Blessed Baraka. You're welcome. Scents are a personal experience. BR540 remains one of my favorites, even though I sold my bottle a couple of years ago. We all know it’s not exactly a beast when it comes to longevity and projection, especially in warmer weather. Bianco Latte is also technically better suited for cooler temps, but if you love it, wear it. That’s really the whole point: wear what makes you happy and let others enjoy what they love too. Edit: Bianco Latte layers beautifully with EOS Vanilla Cashmere body lotion and LUSH Sticky Dates (shower gel or body spray).

I have a date tonight, and I already know it will end with me making a man very happy. I’ll still shower before I see him, but this morning, I reached for Initio Atomic Rose to get myself into the right headspace. It’s one of the more seductive rose scents I own. Roses on Ice by Kilian hasn’t touched my skin since I discovered this one.

I don’t have it in me to stay interested in someone for long. I dread the moment disinterest starts creeping in, even though I know it’s inevitable.

Most expensive gifts given to a partner: Small leather items from designer labels (LV, Burberry, etc.) Most expensive gifts received from a partner: Trip to Russia, underwater camera gear (100k+)

Face card so lethal I want you to rebrand my entire bloodline. #Thursday

I'm not seeing anyone. (I'm seeing everyone.)

Him: Are you fine with us being sexually exclusive? Me in my head: Gago ka ba?

You have to ask me out again. I still want to know how you felt about broccoli as a kid, if you ever mistook it for a tiny tree, gave it a name, and built forests on your plate. Did you ever refuse to eat it, or did you love it in a way that confused your parents? Is that where it began: this quiet rebellion that led to you becoming a vegetarian? I want you to tell me what you think about as you lie in bed at night. Are your thoughts sharp-edged and circling, or do they rock you gently toward sleep? Do they terrify you? Or free you? Do they sound like your voice, or someone else’s entirely? I still want to ask if you stay kind when someone pushes your buttons. Can you recognize the moment anger arrives, and choose stillness over reaction? And if your future child told you they felt different in their skin, would you meet them in that space without flinching? I want to know if you're as attuned to the world around you as you are to the one within. See, I wonder if you noticed my fingernails pressed so hard into my palm they left little half-moons. I wonder if you caught the way I trembled as you spoke. Do your second dates always touch these places, or was this unusual for you too? Do you really wade that easily into the things that haunt you? And finally, I want to know if you felt it too. The palpable weight of our confessions, the depth we allowed ourselves to reach, that charged stillness hanging in the air like something waiting to be named—did it follow you home? Because I need to know if I wasn’t alone in it. And that’s something I’ll only know, if you ask me out again. #Thursday

I’m Holly Golightly, the literary version, not the film. Thought I was Gatsby, but recently realized I’ve always been Daisy, or maybe even Jordan. To some extent, I’m also Vargas Llosa’s Bad Girl and Hemingway’s Lady Brett Ashley.

I operate in male-dominated spaces, and it's not uncommon for me to be the only female at the negotiation table. At times, it's frustrating to be held to a higher standard. But the next multibillion-dollar deal is always around the corner, so we dust ourselves off and forge ahead.

Just last night... Him: When was the last time you had sex? Me: Over a year ago.

Last night: Tonight: Tagaytay

Being a girl is so fun. Just when I start thinking that I might be capable of genuinely liking someone, some guy comes along to fuck that foolish idea right out of me.

Lately on my evening excursions, I’ve been going full floral. I start with a lather of B&BW Rose & Vanilla and follow it up with LUSH’s Ro’s Argan body conditioner. After shower, I moisturize with Sol de Janeiro 68 Elasti-Cream to help the fragrance adhere to the skin. I seal it all in with NUXE’s pink body oil, then finish with a generous spritz of PDM Delina Exclusif. The layering helps with the projection, and I like this little pre-date ritual.

Witnessed this live last night. Had to force myself to look straight ahead. Those arms wtff. 🔥🔥🔥

After he dropped me off near midnight, I spent a few good minutes just standing in the middle of the room, letting it all wash over me, flushed from the wine and from being near him, and thinking about how everyone else pales beside him.

Let's not waste a good question. Currently, Nishane Ani and oud. Which fictional character do you relate to the most?

If you don't hype me up like this when I share pics of the guys on my roster, are we even friends?

I'm a millennial who’s been running around with a largely Gen Z crowd. Yesterday, one of them said to me, "Look at my crush’s IG story. I think he has a crush on someone right now. It’s a crush food chain." Crush. food. chain. Never change, Gen Z.

I like clean lines, checklists, the Aptos font, and schedules that align. I tuck fresh laundry into drawers while still warm and rerack my weights at the gym. I find that sorting each connection into its own compartment is a comforting process: friend, colleague, emergency contact, lover, liability, prey. After months of casual hangs, including sitting down to dinner with my circle, you finally take your rightful place. And as I pulled away from that initial kiss, you murmured, "I’ve wanted to do that since the day I met you," and I knew: Soft distraction.